Devotion (The Hunted Series Book 4)

by Ivy Smoak

  "Too obvious," Jen said. "I'm pretty sure she's going to do that anyway now that she knows he's not a mindless sex robot."

  Melissa laughed. "Yeah, maybe."

  "Do you want a dare?" Jen asked.

  "Sure, why not?" Melissa said.

  "Okay. Then I dare you to go find our Porter's first name. And do whatever it takes." She winked.

  "I'm not going to give the security guard a blowjob to figure out his first name."

  "Oh, please, Melissa, I'm dying to know!" I said.

  "Ew. Then you go blow him." She tossed a pillow at me.

  I laughed. "I'm going to go tell him to come in here."

  "Don't you dare!" Melissa shrieked when I stood up. "I'll go out there and ask by myself. No sexual favors. I'm just going to ask."

  "At least pull your shirt down," Jen said.

  "And your shorts up," Bee added.

  Daphne laughed. "I'm so glad I keep picking truth."

  Melissa opened up the hotel door and stepped out, closing it behind her. We all watched the door, especially after a few minutes had passed. Finally she came back in.

  "Did he tell you?" I asked.

  "Maybe."

  "Shut up, he did not," Jen said. "I swear the only person that knows is James. And I guess Porter's mother."

  "You're right, he didn't. And just for the record, I was very flirtatious."

  "Fine. I guess you met your dare." Jen laughed.

  "Truth or dare?" Melissa said and pointed at me.

  "Now I kind of want to pick dare just to see what you'll come up with. But I'm going with truth because I don't want to do whatever crazy thing you would come up with."

  "So lame."

  "Fine, fine. Dare."

  "I dare you to go up to the roof."

  "Of the building?"

  "Yeah."

  I laughed. "Why?"

  "I don't have to have a reason. It's a dare."

  "Can you even get on the roof of this hotel? I told James I'd stay in the room."

  Melissa started making chicken noises and flapped her arms.

  I laughed. "You look ridiculous. Come on, just make me do something else."

  "The dare has already been announced," Bee said. "Technically you have to do it now."

  "Will you guys at least come with me?"

  "Nah," Jen said. "You got this."

  "I'll come if you want," Daphne said.

  "Thanks, that would be..."

  "Nope," Melissa said. "You have to go alone."

  "Why?"

  She laughed. "Sometimes you're so clueless. It's exactly midnight. All of us are trying to get you to the roof. And we're all refusing to go with you. Think about it." She winked at me.

  I smiled. "James is up there?"

  "Don't tell him I ruined it. Blame it on Daphne."

  "What? I didn't even know." She laughed.

  "What's he doing up there?"

  "I don't know. He just sent us all a text a half hour ago about how we needed to get you on the roof at midnight. And I didn't want to risk going up there with you in case he's naked or something. Not that the sight wouldn't be great. It would just be hard to hang out with him after I saw how he was hanging."

  I laughed. "He's very well-endowed."

  Jen put her hands over her ears. "Gross! Stop talking now."

  I laughed.

  "It's very tempting to text Ian while you're gone." She reached over and grabbed her phone off the nightstand. "But someone should probably stop me because I am officially drunk."

  I grabbed her phone and tossed it at Melissa. "I'll let you guys handle that while I'm gone. I'll be right back." I tied the sash around my new robe and walked over to the door. Bee had given it to me right when we got to the hotel. It was silky and said bride on the back. It was the most comfortable thing ever.

  "Sure," Melissa said. She stretched the word out tauntingly. "You're never right back when it comes to James. And if you two uncontrollable love birds are banging, it'll be like an hour."

  Jen put her hands back over her ears as I stepped out in the hall. Porter immediately stood up from the chair he was sitting on.

  "You don't have to get up," I said. "I'm meeting James on the roof."

  "Yes, ma'am. He asked me to escort you."

  "Oh. Okay, then. Thanks, Porter."

  He nodded.

  As we made our way to the elevator he kept trying to walk behind me. So I kept slowing down, trying to get him to walk beside me. Maybe I imagined it, but I thought I saw him smile briefly.

  He hit the elevator button for me and folded his arms.

  "So what's your first name?"

  He looked down at me. "I'd prefer to keep this professional."

  The doors dinged and we both stepped onto the elevator.

  "I know. It would just make me more comfortable if I could use your real name. Like if there's an emergency and I need to call your name. Your full name would get your attention better."

  "Porter will do just fine." There was a small smile at the corner of his mouth again. There was no denying it this time.

  "Sorry about Melissa earlier."

  "It's fine. She was just asking me random security questions. I thought you were checking up on me to see if I was qualified. I assure you that I am."

  "She didn't ask you what your first name was?"

  "No, ma'am."

  Melissa! I should have known she didn't ask him for his first name. The doors dinged open to another floor. "How do we get to the roof?"

  "Right this way," he said and stepped out of the elevator.

  I followed him toward a set of stairs. "How did you and James meet?" I asked.

  He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "It's not my place to say."

  If I thought James used to be full of secrets, Porter was on a whole other level.

  "That's okay. I'll find out eventually, you know." I stopped at the top of the steps and smiled at him.

  "James said you'd try to get information out of me."

  "Did he?"

  The corners of Porter's mouth curved up ever so slightly again. "He did."

  "I just think it would be nice if we got to know each other."

  "I already know everything about you." He opened up the door.

  I should have been shocked by what he had said, but I wasn't. He probably did know all about me. If James hadn't told him, he had been following me for God knows how long. It was his job to know me. Besides, I was too distracted by the view in front of me. The New York skyline stretched out in front of me, the buildings all lit up in the dark, casting a magical glow. James was standing with his back turned to me, staring out at the view. He was still wearing his suit from earlier. His hand were in his pockets and his hair was blowing slightly in the wind. The view of the city was spectacular, but it had nothing on the view of my future husband.

  "I'll be waiting to take you back down," Porter said and closed the door.

  James turned around when he heard the door close. His smile was breathtaking. It had only been an hour since I had said goodnight to him, but I had missed him. There was always something missing when he wasn't with me. And I knew why he had asked me up here. He had told me he wanted me one last time before I became his wife. It was incredibly romantic. I wanted him one last time as my fiancé too. We had been together for a long time now. A marriage certificate wasn't going to change how I felt about him. But it did make things different. We were going to be married for the rest of our lives. He'd only be my fiancé for one more night. There was something sexy about that.

  I walked over to him, very aware of his eyes wandering down my body.

  "This is new," he said once I reached him. He grabbed the strings of my robe and pulled.

  "Bee got it for me." I pushed my hair aside for him to see the word bride scrawled across the back.

  "I like it. But you're not a bride quite yet." He pushed the silky fabric off my shoulders. "You're a single woman for one more night."

 
I wasn't wearing anything sexy underneath. I was wearing an old baggy t-shirt and a pair of drawstring pajama shorts. It was a classic slumber party outfit, but not an outfit meant to excite anyone. But James was looking at me like he had never seen me more appealing. It almost felt like we were back at the University of New Castle and he was running into me for the first time. He was looking at me in the hungry way that always made me instantly wet. I swallowed hard.

  "Tell me what you want to do on your last night of freedom."

  "I want you."

  He smiled and grabbed my waist. He lifted me up and set me on the ledge of the building. I should have been scared of falling. But James would never let me fall. He'd never let anything bad happen to me.

  "Tomorrow I'm going to make love to you." He slid his fingers up the insides of my thighs. "Tell me what you want me to do to you tonight."

  "Porter is right inside the door, James. What if he comes up here?"

  "The idea of getting caught has always made you want me even more. Besides, he's blocking the door so we won't have any unexpected visitors." He kissed the side of my neck. "I want you to remember tonight. I want you to remember what it was like to choose me because you wanted me, not because we had a slip of paper that said you had to. But because you can't resist me. Because I'm the only one that can make you scream. Because the thought of my cock makes your pussy ache. Because you can't fucking live without me."

  I moaned as his fingers brushed against my thong. I could smell the scotch on his breath. I knew he wasn't drunk, though. He was just horny. And God, I was too.

  "Tell me, baby. Tell me what you want."

  I wanted to go back to where we started. I never wanted that passion to fade. "Fuck me, James. Just like you did in your office that first time."

  "I was punishing you that day." His fingers pushed my thong to the side and he gently touched my wetness. "Have you been a bad girl?"

  I moaned again as I spread my legs for him.

  "Tell me how bad you've been." The tip of his finger slowly encircled me.

  His dirty words just made me want him even more. "So bad. Punish me, James."

  He grabbed my waist and pulled me off the ledge. He pushed my shirt up. In a matter of seconds I was completely naked. I had only managed to undo all the buttons on his shirt. His hands were still so much more experienced than mine.

  "Turn around, Penny."

  I stared at his chiseled abs that were barely visible behind his tie. I wanted to reach up and undo it. I wanted to run my fingers along the contours of his muscles.

  "Penny. Turn around and put your hands on the ledge. Now"

  I loved when he talked to me like that. I loved everything about him. I turned around and placed my hands on the cold concrete ledge. Normally the view would have my full attention. But I could feel him staring at me. It was like every inch of my body was aware of his presence. I arched my back slightly and he groaned from behind me.

  He pushed my thighs apart

  "You're so beautiful, baby." His voice sounded tight. He slapped my ass hard.

  I lifted my ass higher in the air. I loved the sting of his palm. I loved when he took control of my body. And he loved it too.

  "And so fucking naughty." He spanked me again.

  I gripped the ledge.

  His fingers gently traced where he had just spanked. "You made me wait two and a half fucking years to marry you." He spanked me again. "I hate waiting." He spanked me even harder. His palm stayed pressed against my ass as his other hand slipped between my thighs.

  Fuck.

  "You're dripping wet, baby." Two of his fingers sunk deep inside of me.

  God yes.

  "I can feel how much you want me. Beg me for my cock, baby. Tell me how much you need me." He spanked me again.

  "James." I was panting now. "Please."

  He continued to slowly move his fingers in and out of me. His palm landed on my ass harder than it ever had before.

  "James!"

  "Tell me that you need me!"

  Something was wrong. I could hear it in his voice. I could feel it in the way he was holding me. Our conversation from this morning hadn't calmed him down like it had me. He still didn't believe me. If my surrendering to him helped him understand, then fine. I'd always be willing to surrender myself to him. "I need you."

  "Then why did you walk out on me when I needed you the most?!" He thrust inside of me hard.

  Fuck! This morning he had been distraught and lost. And now he was angry.

  His fingers dug into my hips as he slammed into me again. "Why did you not trust me enough to tell me what was happening? Why do you leave me in the dark when I try so hard every day to be your light?" He grabbed a fistful of my hair to make me arch my back more.

  "I'm sorry."

  "Why do you refuse to let me protect you?"

  I don't know. Tears started to come to my eyes.

  "Why? Tell me why!"

  "I don't know!" I clenched my jaw. He was being rough, but it didn't hurt. What hurt was that he was right. I hadn't realized I was doing it. But I purposely kept things to myself because I didn't want to add to the constant burden he carried. The one he wouldn't let me help him hold. I didn't want to add anything else because I was worried he might slip. And I couldn't lose him. I couldn't be the reason that he slipped.

  His fingers eased on my hips and one of his hands slid down my stomach. He gently massaged his thumb against my clit.

  "I don't like when you lie to me."

  "I'm not lying to you. Keep fucking me, James." I needed him to get whatever was in his system out. This was the only way I knew how. I thought making love to him this morning would fix this, but I was wrong. "Make me scream your name. Show me how good this feels. Show me how much you need me too."

  He groaned as he thrust into me faster.

  "Harder!" I closed my eyes. The intensity was too much. The weight of what this all meant was too much.

  "Fuck." He slammed into me as his fingers dug into my skin. "Come for me, Penny."

  It was easy to follow his command. All I could feel was him relentless fucking me. The mixture of pleasure and pain had almost made me come when we had only just started. "James!" I moaned and pushed back against him. I opened my eyes as I started to come. And I had the strangest sensation that I was flying. The city stretched out below me. And I knew as soon as I came down from this high, the reality of what had just happened would make it feel like I was falling. I wanted to fly for as long as I could. I pushed back against the ledge. James hadn't cum yet. I didn't have to fall yet.

  But James immediately pulled out of me.

  No.

  He grabbed my arm and turned me around. His other hand was slowly pumping up and down his erection. He pushed down on my shoulders until I was kneeling in front of him. I usually liked when he did this. And I knew he liked it. He had told me he liked seeing his cum drip down my breasts. It made me feel sexy too. But it didn't seem like that tonight though. He was doing it because he felt insecure. As if this somehow claimed me. Why couldn't he see that I was already his?

  His first shot landed on the center of my chest. There was no bliss on his face. Only agony. Two more hit each of my breasts. After his last stream hit my stomach he turned around and quickly started to get dressed. The silence was unnerving.

  I wiped off his semen with my t-shirt and then pulled my robe on. "James." I stood up and put my hand on his arm, but he pulled away.

  "I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know what came over me. You asked me to punish you and I was thinking of reasons why I should. I got carried away."

  Why wasn't he facing me?

  He exhaled loudly. "Did I hurt you?"

  "No." This time when I touched his arm, he didn't flinch. I walked around him and looked up into his eyes. "Talk to me."

  "Why do you keep me in the dark?" He was looking at me like he knew the answer. Like it had been part of the burden he was carrying this whole time.

  Th
e thought made me feel so guilty. I had been adding to it when I was trying to do the exact opposite. "Because I'm scared you'll slip. I'm scared if anything ever goes wrong you'll slip. And I won't be able to get you back."

  "Well I did." He reached into his pocket. He pulled something out and tossed it to me.

  I caught it in my hand. It looked like a small bag of baby powder. "What is this?"

  He ran his hand through his hair.

  "Tell me you didn't take this, James. Tell me you didn't do this."

  "You left me."

  "You kicked me out! Tell me you didn't take this!" I threw the bag back at him.

  "I didn't take it."

  An exasperated laugh escaped my lips. "Don't just say that because it's what I want to hear. Tell me the truth."

  "I didn't take it. But the moment that you left...that's when I knew I was addicted to you. That's the moment I knew that I was still sick. I wanted to dull the pain. I wanted something, anything to dull that pain."

  "That means you wanted something because you were hurting. That doesn't mean you're addicted to me."

  "Don't you get it, Penny? My life sucks without you. I don't need anything to dull the pain when I'm with you because you dull it. You're my drug."

  The way he said "you" made my chest hurt.

  " It doesn't matter if it's this," he grabbed the bag off the ground, "or alcohol or you. I'm an addict. I've always been an addict. And I'll always be an addict. You hide things from me because you're scared of what will happen if I slip. I've already slipped. Every time I fuck you I'm slipping. Can't you see that? Can't you see that I have no fucking control? I almost hurt you..."

  "Stop."

  "Penny, I can't..."

  "Stop!" My words seemed to echo in the silent night. "You didn't hurt me. I love when you're rough with me. You fucked me like that because I asked you to. Nothing has changed from this morning. What you see as addiction, I see as love. And the fact that you didn't take whatever is in that bag means you're not an addict."

  "Because it wouldn't compare to you! I'm broken, Penny. I'm weak. I'm not worthy of you."

  "James." I tried to keep my voice as even as I could. "I'm not scared about you slipping because you're weak. I'm scared because I don't know what that side of you is like. All I've ever known is the you that I see in front of me. As far as I'm concerned that's the only you that exists. I'm so sorry I kept you in the dark. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I didn't mean to."