by Ivy Smoak
There was an arch that hadn't been there the night before. It had flowers and ivy hanging from it. The lights dangling from the tree above made the whole scene even more romantic. I held my breath as James stepped beneath it. He shook the pastor's hand and they both laughed about something.
James smiled and turned toward the window where I was spying on him from. Almost like he could sense where I was. I felt that with him too. My eyes seemed to always gravitate toward him. I closed the curtains before we made eye contact. I didn't want him to see me until I was walking down the aisle.
"It's time, ladies," Justin said and walked into the room. "Bridesmaids, follow me."
Jen gave me two thumbs up before she followed Justin out.
"Don't lock your knees, it makes you faint," Bee said and gave me a quick hug. "I heard that somewhere."
I laughed. "Thanks for the advice."
"Take a deep breath. There's nothing to be nervous about. You look gorgeous and everyone out there loves you so much."
I took a deep breath and smiled.
"See you up there." Bee hurried out after Jen.
"Penny," Melissa said. Her eyes were slightly teary.
"Don't you dare cry, Melissa."
She laughed. "I'm sorry, I'm just so happy for you."
"Miss maid of honor. You're holding us up," Justin said from the door.
Melissa quickly hugged me. "I love you, Penny. And I may have found your vows in your purse and read them last night. But don't be mad because they're great."
I laughed. "I'm still not really sure what I'm going to say. Any last minute changes?"
"No. He's going to love them exactly as they are."
"Now," Justin said and stomped his foot.
Melissa laughed and released me from her hug. "Good luck." She lifted up the bottom of her dress and ran after Justin.
I pulled back the curtain again and peered outside. Jen and Matt were already standing on opposite sides of the arch and Mason and Bee had just reached the front. I smiled when he gave her a chaste kiss before they went separate ways. Any day now he'd be popping the question. I could just feel it.
A knock on the door made me turn my head. My dad was standing in the doorway. He smiled. "I was told to come get you. Pen, you look so...grown up."
For the first time I was worried that maybe my dress was a little too sexy. I had wanted to look sophisticated and classy.
He shook his head as if seeing the worry in my eyes. "It's just...I still picture you running around with grass stains on your knees."
I laughed.
"You look absolutely beautiful."
"Thanks, Dad." I walked over to him.
"I just want you to know how proud I am of you. For fighting for what you want. And not listening to all the noise. You are strong and independent. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
No one ever called me strong. My dad knew me and he had chosen an adjective that I strived for. He saw my struggles and fears and he believed in me. I didn't know weddings were going to be so emotional. I hadn't even realized how much love I had in my life. Especially after yesterday when I had felt so alone. The contrast was too much. I felt completely overwhelmed.
My dad handed me his handkerchief. He was one of the only people I knew that still used them.
I quickly wiped under my eyes.
"It's time," Justin said. He was smiling from ear to ear.
I heard the violins start playing the processional.
"You ready, Pen?" my dad said.
I took a deep breath. "I'm ready." I grabbed his arm. It felt like a dream as I walked out the doors. It could have been a thousand degrees and I wouldn't have noticed. All I could see was him.
And when we made eye contact, I had to blink away my tears. I felt it in every fiber of my being. This was love. This was the kind of love you read about in fairytales. And I suddenly knew exactly what I would say in my vows. James smiled at me as I walked down the aisle. That smile made me instantly less nervous. There were so many things in my life that seemed uncertain. But not him. James was everything to me.
We stopped and my dad turned me toward him. "Penny, I love James like a son. You couldn't have made a better choice." He kissed my cheek like Justin had instructed him to do. But then he pinched it too, because that was us. It made me smile.
"Thanks, Dad."
It felt like I was floating up to James. His hands grabbing mine pulled me back down to earth. I didn't even hear what the pastor said, but I heard people laugh. James rubbed his thumbs against my palms like he did so often. It felt like it was just us. His intoxicating brown eyes were staring at me so intently, like he thought I might disappear at any second, as if this whole thing was a dream. I squeezed his hands. We weren't dreaming.
"You look beautiful," he whispered.
I smiled. He wasn't paying attention to anything but us either. "You look so handsome," I whispered back. And he did. Whoever made his tux should have been the only person in the world allowed to design men's clothes. It fit him perfectly. He was wearing an emerald colored bowtie that matched the bridesmaid dresses. He looked even more like he had stepped out of the pages of a magazine than he normally did. The thought made me smile. It was one of the first things I had ever thought about him.
He lowered his eyebrows slightly. "You're shaking," he whispered and inched a little closer to me.
"I'm just excited." I swallowed hard when the corner of his mouth turned up in a smile.
He glanced at the pastor and cleared his throat. Apparently he had been paying better attention than I had. Rob handed him something and he grabbed my hand.
"Penny," he said as he slid my wedding band onto my finger. He paused for a second and I watched his Adam's apple rise and fall. "You once asked me if I was a believer in fate. I wasn't. But I am now because of you. When you fell into my arms, I had no idea that my life was about to change forever. But you knew. You fought for me when I didn't deserve anyone on my side. Your persistence and stubbornness and beauty brought me to my knee after only knowing you for two months. And now we're here. I know that we can get through anything together, I know that we're strong enough together.
"I'm crazy about you and I can't wait for our future. I can't wait for our lives together with you as my wife. You showed me that our pasts don't matter. You see a goodness in me that I was never able to see in myself. You make me want to be a better man for you. You saved me, Penny. You are the air I breathe. You are the dreams I dream. You are the light of my life. I'm consumed by your beauty, inside and out. I'm the lucky one. And I don't know why you picked me. But I'm grateful every day. When I wake up every morning and see your face, I'm reminded that I am the luckiest man alive.
" I will never push you away again. Penny, I swear to you I won't. And I'm so sorry. I want you to be able to rely on me. I need you to know that you can always fall into my arms. I'll always be there to catch you."
He wiped away my tears with his thumbs. "Don't cry, baby," he whispered. "It hurts me to see you cry."
I pressed my lips together and shook my head. "I'm crying because I'm so happy."
He grabbed my chin in his hand. "It's your turn."
I nodded. I turned around and took James' wedding ring from Melissa. My throat suddenly felt dry. Public speaking had never been my forte. And everyone was waiting on me. I grabbed James' hand and slid the ring onto his finger. I knew he could feel my hands trembling.
He stepped forward and put his hands on my waist. "Don't be nervous. Just talk to me. Pretend it's just us."
That was easier than he probably realized. When we were together all I noticed was him. But it didn't make me less nervous. Because I needed him to listen to me. I needed him to understand. I took a deep breath and stared up into his eyes.
"James, I love you with everything that I am. I could go on for hours about all the things I love about you. Days probably. When I look at you, I still get stars in my eyes. I don't even know how it's possible, but I love
you more and more each day."
He smiled.
"But what I need to tell you right now is that I forgive you. I forgive you for not always believing in what we have."
He lowered his eyebrows.
"Because I've always known why you push me away. Deep down that fear was always there. I understand. But you're wrong, James. You're always right about everything else, but you're so wrong about this. Because this is love." I put my hand on his chest. "This is all consuming, terrifying, heart stopping love. It's the greatest kind of love. And I'm going to spend my whole life proving to you that that's what this is. And how good and honest and full of light you are."
A single tear slid down his left cheek.
"Forever and always, James." I reached up and ran my fingers across his cheek, wiping away his tears. "There is no me without you. I want you to protect me and cherish me and whatever else normal vows say."
He smiled.
"I want it all with you. And only you. I love the way we met. I would never change a thing. And I love the way we've grown together. As long as you're by my side, I'm not scared of the future. Because I've always known what I wanted." I touched the side of his face. "You. You're all that I've ever wanted, James."
"You're all that I've ever wanted." He pulled me against him and kissed me. I knew it wasn't time. We hadn't said our 'I do's.' But we had said everything that we needed to. We were now one. Nothing would ever come between us again.
The pastor cleared his throat.
James removed his lips from mine, but he kept me in his arms. "Penny, this is the best day of my life."
I smiled up at him. "Mine too."
"James, do you take Penny to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold until death do you part?" the pastor said quickly.
James smiled down at me. The playful smile. The one I wished he always had. One not tortured by his past or his fears for the future. "I do."
"Penny, do you take James to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold until death do you part?
"I do."
"Then by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride," he said with a smile.
James laughed and leaned down to kiss me again. Etiquette be damned. This was my first kiss with my husband. I was going to make it count. I grabbed the lapel of his jacket to deepen our kiss as his hands slid dangerously close to my ass.
Someone whistled. But nothing else mattered. Just us. I was drunk on him. I had been since the day we met. I pulled back and looked up into his eyes.
"James, we're married."
He shook his head like he couldn't believe it. "We're married." He bent down and scooped me up in his arms.
I laughed as he carried me down the aisle in his arms. Everyone around us stood up and cheered. I heard laughter and knew that the groomsmen were most likely giving the bridesmaids piggyback rides, much to Justin's horror. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
James carried me through the doors of the restaurant and into the room he must have been in with his groomsmen. "This dress? Really?" He set me down on my feet and pushed my back against the wall. "Are you trying to kill me?
"Does that mean you like it?"
"Especially this part," he said and trailed his fingers down the V in the front. "You are the most beautiful bride. And officially all mine." His index finger stopped it's descent when he hit the lacy fabric again.
"I've always been yours."
"Not like this." He leaned down and kissed me softly. "Not as my wife." He kissed the side of my neck. "Not with my last name." He kissed between my breasts. "You look so beautiful, but all I want to do is rip this off of you." He kissed between my breasts again.
I heard Rob's unmistakable laugh.
James' head was between my breasts. I immediately pushed on his shoulders. He stood up and put his hands on either side of me, effectively sandwiching me between him and the wall. "We need a minute," he said to Rob while still staring at me.
"I'd say," Rob said and laughed again. "I was told to fetch you for pictures. I'll say I haven't found you yet. It'll look suspicious if you're more than a few minutes, though." He winked and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
James leaned forward and pressed his forehead against mine. "I meant what I said, Penny. This is the best day of my life."
I put my hands on either side of his face. "I meant it too." We stood there for a second, breathing in each other's breaths. It felt like something was passing between us. Some unspoken connection. I didn't think the words 'I do' could make me feel any closer to him, but they did. After everything we'd been through, this moment was pure perfection.
"Pictures," James said slowly and lifted his forehead off mine. "If I'm not mistaken, that was one of the many reasons you wanted a big wedding. The photographic evidence."
"I never said that."
He laughed. "Well, I wanted it. Let's go get a million pictures of you in this dress so I can take it off you even sooner."
I laughed. "Tonight at the hotel you mean?"
"That's not what I mean at all." His playful smile was contagious.
Chapter 14
Saturday
"Perfect!" the photographer said and took what seemed like the millionth shot. "Are there any other pictures you want before I move onto all the candid shots of the reception?"
"Please no," Rob groaned as he loosened his tie.
James laughed. "I think we're good. Right?" he asked me.
I nodded and clasped my hands behind his neck. "So good."
"Stop looking at me like that," he whispered.
"Like what?"
"Like you want to make love to me." He smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
"I'm just looking at you like I am in love with you." I took a second to savor this moment. We had been walking all over Central Park taking pictures and now we were outside the restaurant again. I could hear the buzz of excitement of our cocktail hour behind us. James had his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I couldn't believe that we had finally gotten married. I was officially Penny Hunter. Nothing could compare to how I felt in this moment. Secure. Happy. Complete.
"Come on, you two," Melissa said. "They're about to announce the happy couple."
I looked over my shoulder to see Jen and Matt already walking into the reception area and people cheering.
James touched the side of my face so that I'd look back up at him. "Thank you, Penny. For all of this."
"You helped plan it too."
He shook his head. "I mean for taking a chance on me." His hand slipped to my shoulder. "For trusting me with your future."
"It just so happens that there is no future without you."
"I'm not going to mess this up. I promise you, baby. I know I almost fucked everything up last..."
"It's okay. It was my fault too."
"No." He closed his eyes as if he was in pain. "You were right about what you said in your speech." He opened his eyes again, but his brow remained furrowed. "The doubt had always been there. But I'm not going to slip, Penny. We're going to grow old and gray together."
"Hmm." I ran my hand along his jaw line that was already getting a 5 o'clock shadow. "I think you'll look very handsome when you go gray."
He laughed. "And you'll look beautiful when your hair turns white." He lightly tugged one of my loose curls. "It's just you and me, baby."
"It's always just been you and me."
He nodded and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "Thank you for believing in me."
"James, there isn't any part of you that I don't believe in. And even when you have pushed me away, I knew it was because you cared about me. I'll never stop believing in you. Never." I placed the side of my face against his chest.
"Time is going by too fast. I want tonight to last forever."
"For the first time ever, may I present, Mr. and Mrs. James Hunter!" the D.J. said from be
hind me.
James pulled back and smiled down at me. "Are you ready for this?"
"I've been ready for this ever since we met."
He smiled. "Come with me, Penny Hunter," he said with a wink.
We walked into the space that had been designed for our ceremony. It had been completely transformed for the reception. Tables with elegant centerpieces had been arranged around the area that would be used for dancing later. I knew the restaurant had been hesitant to let us do this. They usually held receptions inside, but I had really wanted it to be outside. Justin said he could make it happen. He had definitely delivered.
James lifted my hand in the air as everyone started cheering and clapping. All our friends and family were around us. Hugs, smiles, and applause. We were so completely surrounded by love.
"Penny!" someone called from behind me.
I turned around to see my fellow interns walking toward us. Sierra and Zach were holding hands and she was pulling him toward me. Tavon was a few paces behind them with his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"I thought you might want them here," James whispered. "One of the many surprises of tonight."
"Many?"
"Oh yeah. You're going to love Rob's speech."
I laughed. "Thank you." I had felt so guilty that I had finally gotten to know the other interns on the day that I left. I knew they had wanted to come. James was so considerate.
"Congrats, Fight Club," Zach said and gave me a swift hug. He shook James' hand.
"That was the most beautiful ceremony I've ever seen," Sierra said and gave me a hug. "I haven't been to many weddings, but I know I'll never experience one like this again."
I laughed. "I'm glad you're having fun."
"So much fun." She nodded her head discretely at Zach.
I smiled. I had already seen them holding hands. I was glad that she was happy.
