In the Midst of Innocence

by Deborah Hining

  She said that some people think certain types of people who are of a different race are not as good as others. Negroes have it especially rough because some people look for ways to make themselves feel better when they realize how bad white folks treated them. They enslaved them, beat them, and put them in chains. If you believe someone is as good as you are and is the same as you on the inside, you cannot in your heart justify treating that person badly—beating him, or putting shackles on him for no reason other than you want to make him work for you. It makes people feel better if they can say Negroes are not really people, not really children of God.

  I remembered what Sam Hutchinson said about Negros being animals, and it all made sense to me, but it made me very sad for Darlene. She would feel terrible if she knew Sam said that about her. I keep thinking that those Cluecluckers are going to try to do something awful to her, and it is my fault. I told Miss Weston about how the Cluecluckers came to the house asking for Darlene, and then I begged her to do something to stop them. After she heard me out, she said she would go to the Sheriff and tell him that the clan was harassing women and children. But when I told her that Otis Merriweather’s cousin is the Sheriff and that he is likely in on it, she went pale and put her hand to her face. We just sat there a long time, feeling sad, until she finally said we should pray and that she would think of something. This is getting worse and worse!

  The only good thing that happened is that Daddy was plowing when we got home. Even though he had told me to stay away, I went over to Darlene’s house anyway, but no one was home.

  April 3, 1932

  Dear Cecilia,

  Trouble upon trouble has come to my quiet little paradise. Today, I just found out that the Klu Klux Klan has been to Darlene’s house, and that they are bent on doing violence to her. Have you heard of them? They are an organization that harasses and even kills people of color, and, I have heard, Jews and Catholics as well. I found out about them when I was at school from one of my professors who was working to expose their crimes. They are well known throughout the South for murder and violence.

  I suspect that it was the Ku Klux Klan that burned down the church in Memphis that I told you about last August. I feel lost and helpless, unable to do anything. I wanted to report them to the law enforcement, but as it turns out, the sheriff in these parts is related to the men involved, and it may be that he is a part of the organization as well! To make matters more agonizing for me, the group is family to one of my students. How could this be? How could these darling children, so earnest and so innocent, be a part of a den of such evil? How could the gentle, kind people of this community harbor so much hatred in their hearts? I do not know where to turn, what to do, how to stop it, or even what to think.

  Oh, Cecilia! Please pray like you have never prayed in your life. I, myself, have been on my knees all afternoon and evening, and all I feel is a deep, empty pain throughout my whole being. Where is God in all this?

  With a heavy heart,

  Emily

  April 4, 1932. Poor Charles Lindberg paid over $50,000 in ransom money to get his baby boy back, but Daddy says he probably will never see him again. I cannot imagine how much money $50,000 is. If someone kidnapped our little Sapphire and demanded $50,000, or even $5,000, there is no way we could even begin to pay it. I do not even think we could come up with $500. We would have to sell our farm to do it, but we would. Sapphire is priceless to us.

  I had another talk with Miss Weston at dinnertime today. I still don’t understand why people think Darlene is a Negro when she is pure white, and since I cannot get a good answer from Mama, I was hoping Miss Weston would know.

  She was very nice about it, and we had a good talk. She said people look at one or two things about a person and make up their minds, even if it does not make sense. She said that kinky hair, a wide nose and big lips are what make people know that Darlene is a Negro, and they completely ignore the fact that her skin and hair are white. That just confused me more. Sarah Boyd has kinky hair, and lots of people have fat lips and big noses, and nobody holds it against them. Miss Weston looked sad and said that Darlene has just the right combination of things going against her, and once ignorant and ungodly people make up their minds about something, they cannot get it out of their heads, and they think they are justified to be mean.

  That just burns me up. Darlene cannot help how she looks, and nobody has the right to be nasty to her because of it. It burns me up that Daddy told me to stay away from Darlene’s house, and I just dare Mama to say anything! I got so mad that I promised myself that nobody could stop me from doing whatever I can to take care of Darlene, and I went over there right after school to tell her that. No one was home again. I peeked in all the windows, but I could not see anything but an empty house. It would have been nice to go up on the roof and look at the river and think for a little while, but I went on back home because I knew Mama and the boys would be worn out from plowing all day, and I started feeling bad about not helping out. I have not been much help to anybody of late.

  My soul is heavily burdened. I do not know to whom I can talk about this. I have brought a load of grief upon my friends and my family. I wish I could do something to end this terrible mess!

  April 5, 1932. Sardius went back to school with us today. Tonight is the dark moon, so he is taking a little break before we have to start in planting peas and broadbeans tomorrow. It was very, very nice to be able to have him walking with us, and I took the chance to tell him about what all had been happening with the Cluecluckers coming. I did not hardly get started before he shushed me and pointed to Beryl. I did not get a chance to talk to him again until we got away together at dinnertime, and then I told him everything.

  Sardius was very sweet. He told me that it was not my fault that those bad men had come to bother Mrs. Carlton and Darlene. He soothed me and petted me on the back until I calmed down, and then he said we should report this to somebody. But when I told him about Otis Merriweather’s uncle being the Sheriff, he did not know what to do either. He got quiet for a long time, and then he said, real quiet, “Let’s pray about it.”

  I wished that I had talked to Sardius earlier. I have been praying every day for Jesus to tell me what to do, but Sardius would have more weight with the Lord. I am a terrible sinner whose word would not be worth much, but Sardius has given his life to Jesus, and he is a much better child of God than I am. I just nodded my head as Sardius put his arm around me, and we prayed for all we were worth. I just about hugged him. Sardius is the smartest and best boy I know.

  It felt good to unburden myself before the Lord. I promised Him I will quit selling whiskey if He would just find a way out of this mess and to save Darlene from worldly harm.

  This was the prettiest day we have had so far this year. A whole grove of serviceberry trees are blooming along the fenceline over by Jimmy Holland’s pasture. We stopped to pick some for Mama and Mrs. Carlton. Mama loved hers, but Mrs. Carlton and Darlene were not home. I left them on the front porch. I hope they cheer them up.

  April 6, 1932. I have not seen Darlene for five days, and the more I think about her, the sicker I get. I wish I could go see her, but we are spending every minute out in the fields until dark, and she has not come over here once.

  April 7, 1932. All of us were back at school today, including Otis Merriweather. I collared him at dinnertime and told him he had better tell his uncles and his cousins to leave Darlene and her mother alone. He looked at me as if I had slapped him. He had no idea that his cousins could be mean to Mrs. Carlton or anybody. I said they sure and well were mean, and I did not want to see them sticking their noses around where they did not belong any more. Otis about cried and tried to get me to tell him why I wanted them to leave Billy Ray alone, but I was not about to tell him that Darlene is a Negro or a Catholic. He might be on his cousins’ side. I had already gotten Darlene into enough trouble.

  When we got home from school, Mama let on that she was worried about Darlene and Mrs. Ca
rlton. This was the first time she has mentioned them since Daddy had told me to stay away from them. She had not seen either of them, although they were still bringing Sapphire her goat milk. Somebody puts it on the steps early of the mornings, then disappears for the day. Mama said she had gone over there several times, but they were never home. I am as low as a snake’s belly, but I am glad Otis is going to call off his family.

  April 8, 1932. When we got home from school today, guess who met me as I was coming down the path? Darlene! But it was a different Darlene than I have ever seen before. Her hair was nearly as straight as mine! It fell in the prettiest curves from the part on the side of her head down to her chin, and she had on pretty pink lipstick. When she took off her spectacles, she did not look like anyone from around here, but like a foreign princess or a movie star! We rushed into the house together to show Mama.

  Mama stopped in her tracks when she saw her. At first, she lit up with a smile, then she ducked her head, looking sad. Mrs. Carlton came in behind us, looking nervous. “What do you think, Adaline? Will it work?” she said.

  Mama looked at Mrs. Carlton with a kind of sad expression that made me worry. “Oh, Celeste. She is beautiful, but…” Then she stopped, glanced at Darlene, and said, “Darlene, honey, you are just beautiful! I love your new hairdo,” and I felt better.

  Beryl was crazy over Darlene’s slick hair and her pink lipstick. We all wrapped our arms around each other and danced around until we all fell down laughing. What a wonderful day this has been. Now even if those men get a good look at Darlene, they will not be able to say she is a Negro.

  Mrs. Carlton and Darlene were mighty relieved when I told them I had talked to Otis and told him to tell his cousins to not come back. Things are going to be better from here on out.

  Oh, and Jasper and Uncle Woodrow got most of the peas planted today. They have a little more to do, but they say they can ease off some. They are going to take tomorrow off before they start in on the beans.

  It is funny how things go from good to bad and back to good again in no time at all.

  April 9, 1932. One good thing about those Cluecluckers coming is that they scared off Billy Ray. Mrs. Carlton told him about how they came asking for him, and he lit out right after that and has not been back since. Billy Ray is the biggest coward in the world. I cannot imagine anybody more low-down than a man who will leave his wife and child alone when he thinks some bad men will be poking around. If he had any backbone at all, he would be waiting for them with a loaded shotgun.

  Now that the Cluecluckers have been called off and Billy Ray has taken off for parts unknown, we had us a big time today. Daddy has to work overtime at the railroad to take the place of some of the men who are out sick, so he will not be home this week. That is fine with me. We can use the extra money, and he was not here to put a damper on our fun. Darlene did not need to go over to Pap-pa’s, so we decided to go fishing. The river is swole up very high. When it is high and swift, Mama does not like us to go down there by ourselves in case we fall in, so we talked Jasper and Sardius into going with us. It did not take much talking. We all had a grand time, and we caught ten trout betwixt us!

  Warming, waxing days.

  The taste of green seeps deep and soft.

  The greenleaves bud and swell,

  My body is full of freshness,

  My silver children wake to my roaring song.

  The upright ones rejoice in fullness,

  But they do not see the Darkness looming.

  I sing of Spring but wait for calamity

  April 10, 1932. It is Sunday, which is usually my favorite day, especially since Darlene and Mrs. Carlton joined us for dinner, but today Uncle Woodrow seemed a little tetchy. At dinner, we were all making on over Darlene’s beautiful, wavy hair, and Miss Weston mentioned that Darlene looks almost white, and all of a sudden, Uncle Woodrow held his hand up to let us know to be quiet. Then he turned to Darlene and said,

  “Sweetheart, don’t you let anyone tell you that you aren’t perfect the way you are. It’s okay to disguise yourself now, when you may be in danger, but one day, you will know that you need to be proud of who you are and what you are, and you won’t need to hide from anybody. It isn’t you that needs changing. It is the ignorant and bigoted people who don’t know any better. And don’t you ever forget it.”

  Everybody got very quiet, and then Miss Weston blushed. Mama spoke up and said, “Of course, Woodrow. Darlene is perfect the way she is. But for now, I think it is a good idea she keep herself disguised as long as there is tension around here. Don’t you agree?”

  Uncle Woodrow just nodded then went back to eating, but he was quiet and a little tetchy with everybody but Darlene and me the rest of the day.

  April 10, 1932

  Dear Cecilia,

  It was an uncomfortable day. I think the crisis with Darlene may be over, but things are still a little tense among my newfound family. Pearl informs me that the Klan has been called off, and Darlene has managed to change her hair enough that she might be able to pass for white. If they should come back, perhaps they will not molest her or her mother. Still, I am wary. Pearl does not know what these people are capable of. I told you about the men who tried to lynch the colored man over in Alcoa. They did not succeed, but things were breathtakingly tense for some time, and now the poor man has been sentenced to death. What a tragedy! He was caught up in his anger and jealousy, and it was entirely the white man’s fault. The jury did not see it that way, however, and now he will be taken away from his family and his loved ones. The misery just will not end!

  We were discussing this at dinner today, and I mentioned how pleased I was that Darlene might be able to pass for white with her straightened hair, and suddenly Woodrow gave me a hard look. Then he turned to Darlene and told her she needs to always remember that she is just as good as everybody else. I could not agree more, but as long as there is trouble between the races here and as long as ignorant people harbor evil in their hearts against people of color, I think it is necessary that Darlene try to blend in as much as possible.

  Woodrow spent the entire remainder of the meal talking to Darlene and Pearl. I know he is concerned for the child and wants her to be at ease, but I was a little surprised that he conversed with them almost exclusively, when he usually is attentive to my thoughts and words. I ended up talking to Mrs. Carlton and Mrs. Wallace the whole time. Mrs. Carlton is surprisingly beautiful, and very gracious. She is unusual, but I can see why some might find her attractive.

  I simply am too drained to write any more. Give my love to everyone, and please do not stop praying!

  Emily

  April 11, 1932

  My School Journal, grade 7, Miss Weston’s class

  By Pearl Wallace

  Sunday is my favorite day of the week. I love to go to church to hear from the Word of God, and I also love to go to my grandfather’s house for Sunday dinner afterwards. We always have a nice crowd. Miss Weston, my teacher, comes for Sunday dinner, and so does my Uncle Woodrow. My father was not able to come yesterday because he had to work overtime at the Railroad, but we managed to have a good time without him, even though we missed him very much.

  The reason we had such an extra-special good time this Sunday is because my best friend, Darlene, and her mother came to dinner with us. Darlene has come before, but this is the first time her mother has been able to. She usually stays home and cooks Sunday dinner for her husband, but since he was gone yesterday, she was able to join in with us! It was a very good time.

  April 11, 1932. I was happy over the weekend, but today has been another awful day, even worse than any I have had before. The Cluecluckers came back. We did not go to school today because of the planting, and I ran over to Darlene’s house at dinnertime. We had gone up on the roof to eat, and we were just sitting there, enjoying the sunshine, when we saw them coming through the woods, all dressed up in their white ghost costumes. The same man who had carried the cross before wore a filthy handker
chief over his face instead of the hood the others wore. It gave me chills to see him, and I could feel Darlene grow stiff with afright. We both threw ourselves down flat on the roof and eased over the top so that we were on the back side of the house, and we just laid there, still and quiet as we could be while those Cluecluckers walked up to the front porch and knocked on the door.

  It took Mrs. Carlton a long time to come to the door. They kept knocking and knocking, and I could imagine them going around, peeking in the windows, and I was scared to death they would come to the back and look up to see us. I thought Darlene should not have anything to worry about now that her hair was as straight as a white girl’s, but she just froze up when she saw them and shook her head when I whispered that she did not need to be ascared of them now.

  We stayed quiet while they kept banging on the door. Finally, Mrs. Carlton opened it. I could not hear a thing anyone was saying, so I whispered to Darlene that I was going to go listen in. Although she grabbed my hand, shaking her head, “no,” I was dying to know how Mrs. Carlton would handle it. I pulled myself away to slide over the peak of the roof and down to the roof of the porch, where I hid in among the wisteria and ivy. I could hear them plain as day.

  Mrs. Carlton was saying, “I told you. My husband is not here. He has gone hunting with several of his friends, and I expect them back sometime, but I assure you, he is not at home at present. In case you are interested, he has been very well behaved ever since I told him you had come. I thank you for that, but your work is done, so you might as well go on your way. There is no need for you to come again.”

  I inched my head over the roof and peeked through the wisteria. The man with the handkerchief across his face had put down his cross and had his face mashed up against the window with his hands cupped around his eyes, looking in just as brash as a trashy old peeping-tom. He backed up and looked at Mrs. Carlton in a mean way.