In the Midst of Innocence

by Deborah Hining

  The whiskey was making me feel better, enough so that I was able to look around. Miss Weston sat on the couch, holding both Sapphire and Ruby in her lap. Darlene and Beryl huddled on either side of her. Jasper hovered over me until I waved him away. He was making me feel smothery. Sardius was nowhere to be seen.

  Miss Weston spoke up, “Jasper, can you build us a fire? Darlene is cold. And is there any more of that whiskey left?” Jasper handed the cup to her, and I could not hardly believe my eyes when she took that cup and took a big swallow before giving a sip to Darlene. She set Ruby down, put Sapphire in Beryl’s arms, and crossed over to Uncle Woodrow.

  “Drink a little of this, Woodrow. I find that it can help in times like this,” she said as she cupped her hand around the back of his head and tilted the cup up to his lips. He drank it, and I wondered if maybe I was having a dream, where nothing was normal. Nobody was behaving anything like I expected them to. Mama calm as ice while she sewed up a moaning woman, Miss Weston serving whiskey to everybody as if it were a tea party. Uncle Woodrow scared to death, but sitting right there in the living room, not running out the door.

  Jasper built a fire, even though it was as warm as an April night can be, for Darlene was shivering enough to rattle her bones, although I think the whiskey had quieted her down a bit. A little while later, Sardius came in with Pap-pa and Miss Janey Jo. As soon as they got here, Jasper pulled them out to the porch, where they stayed out talking for a few minutes, then Miss Janey Jo came back in to sit with the rest of us, and we waited, not knowing what was going to happen, fearful to sit, and yet afraid to go out. It was as quiet as the grave, except for Mrs. Carlton’s moanings and Uncle Woodrow’s occasional gasp for breath. Miss Weston settled in the corner with Sapphire, staring at the fire for a long, long time. Miss Janey-Joe cuddled up to Darlene and Beryl, with Ruby on her lap. Mama laid another blanket on the little girls and took me in her arms, holding me and stroking my forehead, which quieted my heart. Uncle Woodrow held Mrs. Carlton’s hand. No one said a word while we waited for Jasper, Sardius, and Pap-pa to return.

  They came in through the back door much later. Pap-pa stood in the open doorway, looking big and calm, then he leaned against the doorjamb as he flickered his eyes over at Miss Weston. “Ladies, we need to pray,” He said. “It may be that the Lord has shown us a way out of the bind that we find ourselves in tonight.” Everyone gathered around, and Pap-pa knelt in front of the fire and prayed a short, simple prayer: “Lord, we can’t help but think this is Your will. Tell us if it isn’t.” Then he got up as everybody started whispering in urgent, soft voices. I could not hear what they said, but I did not care. I was so tired that I closed my eyes for just a minute, and when I opened them again, they had all stopped talking. Miss Janey Jo was sorting through the woodpile.

  “No, Janey Jo. There is no need for you to go,” Pap-pa said. Janey Jo laughed. “Don’t you think for one minute that we will let you boys go and have all the fun,” she said as she pulled out three sticks of fatwood. She handed one to Miss Weston and one to Mama.

  I fell asleep again after that, and the next thing I knew, I was lying in my bed with Darlene and Beryl beside me, and daylight was coming in through a fine mist of rain, along with the barest whiff of charred wood. Mama was shaking Darlene and me awake.

  It is still April 18, and I have much more to tell about what happened, although it seems like a week has gone since Uncle Woodrow killed Billy Ray. We are not at school because Mama said we needed our sleep, and besides, the Sheriff would likely want to talk to us.

  Mama waited for us to rub the sleep out of our eyes before she sent Beryl downstairs. “Miss Janey Jo and Pap-pa are here,” she told her. “And after breakfast, they are going to take you home with them so Miss Janey Jo can help you start that new dress she has been promising you.”

  Beryl jumped right up and scuttled downstairs. Darlene and I started to get up, too, but Mama stopped us. She sat down on the side of the bed, laid her hands on our arms, and spoke to us in that sweet voice of hers.

  She told us that the Sheriff had come by last night, and they had filled him in on what had happened. He had wanted to wake us, but she told him we were all so tired from all the excitement of Janey Jo’s birthday that we would not be able to make any sense. I am very glad she did not let him wake us. I was not sure what I should tell him. I did not want him to know that Uncle Woodrow had flat-out killed Billy Ray dead. He would surely get the electric chair for that.

  “The Sheriff will be coming back,” she told us. When he does, he will want to talk to you both, and you will need to tell him the important things that he needs to hear. Pearl, I want you to tell him what has been happening to Darlene and her mother for the past few weeks. About those men who have been bothering them. Now, you need to go over it in your mind. Can you tell me exactly what you have seen?”

  I started to tell her about how Otis’s clan had come to the house to make Billy Ray treat Darlene and her mother better, but she stopped me.

  “There is no need to let on why you think those men came. You do not need to be dragging Otis Merriweather into this. It will be hard on him and his mother if they get involved. Let’s just stick to what you saw at Darlene’s house, not what you and Otis talked about or what you thought, all right?”

  I thought that was wise. Otis could get into a lot of trouble if it came out that he knew anything about this, and he could not help it if things turned out different than he expected. I thought about it, then said, “Some men came asking about Billy Ray.”

  “That’s right,” Mama nodded. “And how were they dressed?”

  “At first they wore regular clothes, but then they changed into sheets with eye holes cut in them. One of them couldn’t see through his eye holes, so he wore a bandana.”

  She laid her hand on my arm again. “The Sheriff does not need to know that you saw them in regular clothes or indicate in any way that you might be able to recognize them if you saw them again. If you do, you might be putting Otis and his family in trouble.

  Mama was right. There was no need to tell that I saw their automobiles or that one wore a bandana because he could not see through his eye-holes or that one of the others had called him “Hank.” I ran the scene through my mind, careful with my words. “They wore sheets. One of them carried a big wood cross.”

  Mama asked me how many times they had come. I reckoned there were four times, because that is all I saw them, but they could have come more. Darlene kept quiet. I could tell she was too ascared to say anything.

  “So you saw them come to Mrs. Carlton’s house four times? Where were you when you saw all this? What did they do each time?”

  “The first time they came, I was on my way to Darlene’s house. I saw them coming through the woods, but they didn’t see me. I hid behind a tree and watched them.”

  I told her how they had knocked on the door, then went around the house peeking in the windows and how they just left when they figured no one was home.

  “That’s good, Pearl. And how about the next time?”

  I told about how they came the second time and how I was ascared of them so I had climbed up on the roof so I could see what all went on without them seeing me. I described how Mrs. Carlton had come to the door, looking ascared and how they tried to get her to let them in but she would not, saying her husband was not home and she would not let them in as long as he was away. Then they stood on the porch and said some nasty things about her and Darlene. I talked about how they had knocked on the door again and I got so ascared for Darlene and about what they might do to her that I shimmied down off the roof and told them there was no need to come back, that Billy Ray was not at home much these days.

  Mama frowned. “Maybe you should not say you talked to them or that they saw you. I am sure the Sheriff is a good man, but he might not be thinking about your safety. He might mention to the wrong people that there was a witness, and that could put you in danger. These are evil men, Pearl. They might hur
t you if they think you know too much. Can you just say they went away on their own?”

  I realized that since Otis’ uncle was the Sheriff over in Madison county, maybe he was in on some of this. It about made my hair stand on end, and right then and there, I realized that more was at stake than any of us could ever imagine. Uncle Woodrow might be blamed for everything. He could get the electric chair, and the rest of us might be staring in the face of the devil himself. I stopped, thinking it through before I told her about how they had come back to ask to see Darlene and how one of them tore Mrs. Carlton’s necklace off her neck and then grabbed at her titty, and how the other one pulled him away and apologized, and how Darlene had been so scared and how Mrs. Carlton had cried.

  Mama looked at Darlene. “Darlene, sweetheart,” she said. “Is that right? Do you remember it the same way so that you could tell the Sheriff just how it happened the way Pearl has said?” Darlene nodded. “Do you have anything else to add to what Pearl has told me?” Darlene began to cry as she shook her head.

  “I was real scared,” she said.

  Mama petted her on the head. “I’m sure you were, honey. I would be, too. Now, Pearl, tell me about the last time you saw these men.”

  I started telling about how I had been lying in the yard because I was too weak and trembly to move after Uncle Woodrow had killed Billy Ray, but I caught myself before I got any of it out. I took a breath and started again, speaking slowly, making it up as I went.

  “I went to Darlene’s house.”

  Mama smiled and nodded. “Yes, you and Jasper went over there because we had run out of firewood. Darlene and her mother were here all evening, and Mrs. Carlton told you to run over to her house and get some so we could make some popcorn. Isn’t that right?”

  “But Mama, we have firewood in the woodshed. What if the Sheriff checks?”

  Mama smiled. “No, sweetheart. We burned all we had left for supper. There might have been a little bit the last time you checked, but I used almost all of it doing the washing.”

  I knew for good and well that was a flat-out lie, but Mama’s face was as smooth and untroubled as an angel’s. It was easy to change my thinking and believe we had gone to get some wood from Billy Ray’s woodpile. “Yes,” I said. “But as we were walking back, we saw them coming through the woods. There were just three of them this time, and they were carrying that big cross and a jug of kerosene,” then I just told the rest of the story as it happened, until I realized that the law would wonder why we let the house burn up with Billy Ray in it. “Shouldn’t we have gone over there and done something?”

  Mama just smiled, “Why, honey, we were afraid of those men! We are just women and children. Your father is in Maryville, Uncle Woodrow and Sardius were at his place, and Jasper had to ride over and get them and Pap-pa to help us. By the time everyone got here, the place was in flames and there was nothing we could do. Besides, we had no idea Billy Ray was in the house. When Mrs. Carlton and Darlene came over for supper, he had been out all day, and they did not expect him back. He often stays out all night, being as how he has a drinking problem. It appears that he came home sometime during the evening and passed out in the house.”

  I am no fool. I knew what she was up to. None of us wants Uncle Woodrow to get the electric chair, and we had to get our story straight, but I was flabbergasted at how Mama could sit right beside me, as sweet as can be and lie her head off. I have never known her to tell a lie, not ever, even when it would make things easier if she did. But here she was, straight-faced, looking me right in the eye as she made up one story after another. She ignored my surprised look and went right on. “By the time they all got here it was too late. The house was in flames. Of course, you girls had all gone to bed by then, and you did not see any of the really bad part.”

  “But what about that cut on Mrs. Carlton’s collarbone? How are we going to explain that?

  “No one will see anything under her dress. She is tired and weak, though, because she is so scared and upset over her husband being burned to death, and the whole ordeal has taken its toll on her. The Sheriff probably will not bother her too much and will rely on what you, Darlene, and Jasper have to say.” She stood up. “Now, let’s go on down to breakfast. Miss Janey Jo and Pap-pa are here. We want to be sure we remember everything right when the Sheriff gets here.”

  We went on downstairs. Miss Janey Jo hugged me, and so did Uncle Woodrow. “You are a very brave and a very smart girl,” Miss Janey Jo said, “and we are proud of you.” Uncle Woodrow just petted me on the head with a quivering hand and fought back tears. Mrs. Carlton tried to smile at us even though her face was trembly.

  There was a big breakfast spread on the table: salted ham with eggs, biscuits and gravy, and plenty of butter and jelly. We all sat down, and Pap-pa prayed. He said, “Lord, we thank you for giving us deliverance. We know you have pulled us from the gates of fire, from the evil intent of men. You have blessed us beyond measure. Help us to deserve what you have done for us this day.”

  Uncle Woodrow did not eat much. He shook so hard when he lifted his coffee cup to his mouth, he spilled some all over his shirt. Mama just smiled at him. “Woodrow has difficulty with fire or any kind of violence. Just knowing that the Carltons have been threatened has brought on some very bad memories from the war.”

  Beryl spoke up, “Poor Uncle Woodrow. When he saw Mrs. Carlton screaming and bleeding, and Billy Ray lying on the floor, he just. . .” Mama cut her off. “

  “Beryl, you did not go to Darlene’s house last night. You were in bed asleep during the whole ordeal.”

  Beryl said, “But Mama!” and Mama leaned over and said,

  “You were so tired that I took you up to bed myself. If you think you saw anything, it must have just been a bad dream. You may have awakened when the fire got going and it is all jumbled up in your head. ”

  It was a good thing Beryl had run off before she had had a chance to see the really bad part. I spoke up, “Yes, I woke up, too, and I could see the fire through the trees. Beryl was crying in her sleep, saying something about Mrs. Carlton being hurt. I knew she was having a dream. She does that a lot.”

  Beryl did not catch on. “But Mama!” she said. “I know what I saw,” but Miss Janey Jo cut her off.

  “Beryl, I am looking forward to getting started on that dress. Hurry up and finish your breakfast so we can get on over there,” Beryl likes nothing better than sewing up new clothes for herself, and she suddenly forgot all about the night before.

  We were just finishing up when Jasper sat up straight, made a little gasping sound, and said, “I just realized…” His eyes went wild as he groped for words. Janey Jo pushed back from the table.

  “Let’s go get you dressed so we can leave now,” she said to Beryl. We’ll take the wagon, and Pap-pa can walk back when he is ready.” As she hustled Beryl up the ladder to the loft, Jasper whispered, “We left the k-n-i-f-e in him.” I felt my heart just about jump out of my chest. The last time I had seen that knife, it was sticking out of Billy Ray’s chest, and I was talking myself out of taking it out of him.

  Everyone froze. We had all plumb forgotten about the knife! Pap-pa jumped up and tore out the back door, followed by Jasper and Sardius. Uncle Woodrow put his head down on his arm and cried. Mrs. Carlton looked as if she were about to cry, too. How could we have forgotten something as important as the knife? I could feel the blood leave my face. Darlene broke out in big sobs.

  We waited for a long time, and when Pap-pa and the boys did not come back, Mama finally told me to run over there and see what was keeping them. Darlene wanted to come with me, but her mother stopped her. “You don’t need to be over there, cherie. Last night was bad enough, and it may upset you to see the house burned down. You just stay with me.” So I went over there by myself.

  The Sheriff’s car was parked out in the yard, and four of his men poked through what was left of Billy Ray’s house. It had burned clear down, although part of the floor still was strong eno
ugh to hold them, and two of the walls still partly stood, but most of the walls had collapsed in on it, and the roof, too. The burnt remains of that cross lay over on the front porch. The fire was completely out, thanks to the rain that had been falling since early this morning, but smoke still curled out of some of the piles here and there. Billy Ray’s body lay over by the well, covered up with a sack. His feet stuck out, and I could see that he was lying on his back, but it was obvious there was no knife in his chest. I wondered if there was any hope that he had burned up so much the knife had fallen out.

  Pap-pa and one of the Sheriff’s men lifted a big, charred beam and threw it aside, then poked around through the rubble. Nobody paid any attention to me, but I was afeared to go join the search. I did not know what I would do if I happened to stumble across the knife. “What are you all looking for?” I called out.

  Pap-pa glanced up. “Nothing, honey. You can go on back home. We are just checking the scene to see what we can see.” He added, casual like, “It looks like Billy Ray died of smoke inhalation. He probably died without ever waking up. It’s a pity he let himself get so drunk. People who drink like that usually come to a bad end.”

  That lightened my heart. Nobody had found the knife yet, but still, I was beside myself with worry, and I could not stay still, so I sort of wandered around in the yard. The big spruce at the back of the house still stood, but it was mostly a charred hulk. I knew it would not live, and somehow that made me sadder than seeing the smoldering remains of Darlene’s house.

  The whole place stank of brimstone. It made me think about Billy Ray burning in hell. I sure had hated him, and he deserved whatever punishment God was choosing to dish out to him, but it made me feel sweaty and hot to actually connect in my mind Billy Ray suffering in the eternal fire.

  I feel sick and dizzy just thinking about it. A lot more happened, but I cannot think straight enough to write it down.