Above the Noise

by Michelle Kemper Brownlow

  At quarter to four on the dot, the B103 DJ spoke loud and clear and pulled my attention from my work.

  “Welcome to the afternoon Rock Block. I’m Jesse Severson, and I’m thrilled to come to you live with my new friends Calon, Spider, Manny, and Bones—the talented members of the newest talent on the rock ‘n’ roll horizon. Please, welcome Alternate Tragedy! Thanks for comin’ in, guys. It’s great to have you here.”

  “Thanks for having us, Jesse.” Calon’s voice was even hotter over the radio. Sheesh. I squeezed my thighs together.

  “So, how many gigs have you guys played since you’ve been in LA?”

  “I’ve lost count, but we’ve done a lot. Big and small shows. We’re having a blast in this town.”

  “Great. Great. You all hail from Knoxville, Tennessee.”

  “We do. Go Vols!” Bones. What a dork. I wasn’t sure he’d ever even been to a UTK sporting event. He’d been at all the tailgates, but I was pretty certain he’d never actually stepped foot in our stadium.

  “I’ve spoken to numerous people in the industry and no one can seem to explain your rise to the top. Spider, you guys aren’t even signed, right?” Jesse’s excitement about the interview was evident in his voice. It was a cool thing to hear.

  “No, we’re not.” Spider chuckled. “And, believe me, we’re just as stunned. We’d never complain about the attention we’re getting, but it’s just as much of a mystery to us as it is to everyone else.”

  “So, then what’s with the little mishap Wednesday night at The Moondance? You’ve got some pretty pissed off fans. What happened?”

  My phone rang, and it was one of the bar owners I’d called a couple days before. I had to answer it, but I was so mad I would miss Calon’s explanation.

  But once I heard what the call was about, I was too stoked to care. I knew I’d get the play by play from the guys anyway.

  I had to text Calon. I knew he wouldn’t get the text until later, but I would’ve exploded if I’d kept it in.

  Me: You guys are playing The Jungle Room Thurs, Fri, & Sat next week

  I turned the volume up a little to be sure to at least catch the end of what he said about the Moondance gig.

  “I tell you, Jesse. The pieces of The Moondance puzzle just don’t seem to fit. Something strange and unexplainable happened. From the stage losing power to an unauthorized announcement and a stolen VIP pass, it just doesn’t add up. But you can be sure we will be double checking all of our equipment before we go on stage from now on. And to make it up to our fans that felt dissed Wednesday night, we will be at The Jungle Room Thursday, Friday, and Saturday next week—thanks to our amazing manager, Becki Mowry.”

  I could hear the smile on his face when he said my name. I giggled like a little girl.

  I really did heart Calon Ridge. He hearted me right back.

  *sigh*

  BECKI ASSURED ME she was fine, but for the last couple weeks she seemed distant, not exhausted. Her sudden illness, if you could call it that, only slowed her down for a couple days, since then she’d been going a hundred miles an hour. She’d lined up at least two gigs but usually four or more a week until Christmas. She’d argue that she could handle stress well; however, her job as manager took a toll on her. I knew she wasn’t back to her old self, and I assumed she was still feeling rotten, just hiding it well. I remembered she’d once mentioned that she’d been sick as a little kid and had to have chemo. I couldn’t help letting my mind wonder about her health. I knew what I had to do. She’d be so pissed at me, but I needed to put her first and not worry how mad she would be.

  “Calon, hey, it’s Cyan. I wanted to let you know, I found the perfect manager for you. She’s got experience. Interned with the manager of The Killers for a while until they started doing more in-house planning. A real go-getter kind of style. I did background checks, called references, and it all looks good. I said you’d be in touch, so if you’d like to run your own interview, just call Danny directly.” She spouted a number for me to call and then ended her message, “Okay. Call me if you need anything else. See ya.”

  Me: Our hotel room around dinner would be perfect to meet w Danny

  Cyan: Done.

  “Who was that?” Becki’s head rested on my shoulder as we rode back from rehearsal to the hotel in preparation for a new week of gigs. I knew if I told her we were trying to get her some help to lighten her load, it would get her all fired up. So, telling her in the van with the guys was probably not the perfect plan, but if I tried to blow off her question, she’d lose it. She’d been more than a little moody lately, so I opted for the better of my two shitty options.

  “Becks, now, don’t get mad.” She sat straight up and pursed her lips.

  “Aw, shit.” Bones attempted to keep his reaction under his breath, but he sucked at being subtle.

  “What? Who was it? And why do you look so nervous to tell me.” She smacked me hard on my thigh and made me jump. I grabbed her hand, so she didn’t go any higher than my thigh.

  “Becks, listen. Over the last two months, your responsibilities as manager have grown exponentially compared to what you were doing when we first came out here. And it’s wearing you down. I’ve never seen you so out of it. Over the summer, you were the one keeping me up during our all-nighters. You used to do fine with little to no sleep.”

  “You’re firing me? Are you fucking—”

  “No! No! No way! We love what you do. You’re damn good at it. We just feel like it’s not fair for us to expect you to carry the load for us.”

  “Would you just spit it out already? What am I not supposed to not get mad about?”

  “That was a voicemail from Cyan. I called her a couple days ago to see if she’d help find us an assistant for you, so you could cut your responsibilities back a little without losing your creative control.” I spoke with barely a breath. I wanted to get it all out before she blew a gasket. “You’re kick ass at being our manager, but you could share some of what you do with someone else, so you’d be able to pick and choose what you wanted to handle and push the rest onto your assistant. You see?”

  “Calon, I’m fine.” I was shocked at how calm she stayed. I really expected a fight. “Whatever made me sick a couple weeks ago just hit me hard. I’m tired, but I’m just starting to get back my vim and vigor. You shouldn’t have to pay someone else. I should be able to handle it.”

  “I have no doubt you could do it. I just don’t want you to have to. I want you to love what you do and lately, you’re not enjoying it.”

  “So, who is this person you’d be hiring?” I was glad she was so open to the idea. It made me think she may not have been comfortable asking for help.

  “Cyan found a guy named Danny. He used to intern with The Killers. He comes with great references, and hiring him seems like a no brainer. We’re going to meet with him tonight, so you can have a say in who you’ll be working so closely with. I want it to be a good match for you.”

  “Wow. You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you? And you got me a guy. Nice.” She smiled at me, and I grabbed her face and kissed her. She took hold of my nipple right through my shirt and twisted.

  “Listen, Ridge, how about next time you talk to me directly, instead of pussy-footing around the subject and making plans without me. Okay?”

  “Okay, I’m sorry, Becki. Can I have this back, please?” I pushed her hand off my nipple and rubbed the pain away. No doubt, that was gonna leave a mark.

  “Thanks, guys, I appreciate the help. A lot. I really do. But, if you three let him go behind my back again, I’ll kill ya all. Got it?”

  Shit. The guys were silent.

  “Becki, there’s one more thing.”

  “Oh, shit.” Bones shook his head. “Quit while you’re ahead, dude. Quit while you’re ahead.”

  “Calon James, you were scot-free. You could have come out of this unscathed. What the hell?”

  “I made a doctor’s appointment for this afternoon.”

 
; “Nope. I don’t do doctors. Cancel it.”

  “Becki—”

  “I don’t need you to decide when I see a doctor. I’m fine, just stressed, that’s all. I know my body pretty well, Calon. I know what it needs. I’m not going into my whole health history with some stranger just because my resistance is down. Cancel it.”

  “Becks—”

  “Cancel it!” She yelled so loud, Spider hit the curb on the way into the parking garage under our hotel.

  “No, I won’t.” I tried to take her hands again, but she pulled away from me.

  “Then you can go because I’m not.” She started to get up to get out of the van, and I pulled her back down. “Calon!” She shot a look at me I’d not yet been the recipient of. It shook me a little.

  “Uh. We’ll see you guys upstairs, okay?” Manny tried to smile, but it came out as an awkward grimace.

  “Listen, Becki—”

  “No, you listen, Calon. You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to make decisions for me. You’re my boyfriend, not my parent.”

  “I didn’t make the appointment because I’m your boyfriend. I’m trying to take care of you. I want you to feel better.”

  “Does this have something to do with Chloe, Calon?” I couldn’t read her tone or her body language. It was like she was apathetic.

  “No. Well, I guess a little. But—”

  “Calon, I’m exhausted, not dying.” As soon as she said it I saw her cringe. “I’m sorry. That sounded insensitive. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant I think you’re taking this all too seriously. You can’t put your experience with Chloe on me. You can’t assume the worst whenever I don’t feel good.”

  “Becki, wouldn’t you feel better to know what’s actually wrong, instead of just assuming it’s exhaustion and stress?” My voice was shaky. I think mostly because I was reliving conversations I’d had with Chloe. Becki looked at her hands folded in her lap. I got the feeling she wasn’t just being stubborn.

  “Calon, my mom wasn’t big on going to the doctors. But I’ll never forget the time she drove me from the school nurse’s office to my pediatrician. That’s the last day I was a healthy kid. A day later I was diagnosed with Leukemia and fighting for my life. I went through it all. Cancer is a fucking nightmare. I swear it’s Hell on earth. Well, once I’d been cancer-free for five years, I decided it was going to take a hell of a lot for me to voluntarily go back to a place that hands out death sentences.” I pulled her into my lap, and I turned and stretched my legs out on the length of the bench seat in the back of the van. She laid her head on my shoulder and bit her thumbnail. I’d seen Becki nervous before but nothing like this. She was terrified of getting slapped in the face with a diagnosis she was least expecting.

  “Look, the doctor can see you later today. I’m not going to force you to go, but let’s just wait it out a little and see how you feel later. We can always cancel it.” I rubbed her back, and she tucked her face into my neck. I felt a couple tears, and it broke my heart. Was I making my own diagnosis just because of what I’d been through with Chloe? Would I always assume the worst? I didn’t want to upset Becki, but I thought it would put both our minds at ease to know for sure it was just stress.

  “Calon, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be difficult. I just don’t want to see that look again. I didn’t understand it then, but I’ll never forget his somber gaze. He knew the words that would fall from his lips would change everything for my mom and me. I don’t want to have something like that thrown at me again.” She wiped her face with her hands and took a deep breath.

  “Let’s go grab something to eat and take it up to the room.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Calon, I’m going to cancel that appointment. You know that, right?”

  “Yep.” I smiled down at her, and we headed to grab some takeout.

  We knocked on the door because our hands were too full to reach for or even swipe a key. Bones swung the door open and waggled his eyebrows like he did when he was about to hit on someone.

  “Get outta the way, Bones. I’m gonna drop all this food.”

  “Hey, guys, Cal and Becki brought dinner. And, Cal, someone’s here to see you.”

  Becki and I sat the bags down on the table at the same time and stood stoic next to each other due to the leggy blonde in cowboy boots perched on the edge of our dresser. She had big curls that fell around her face and down over her shoulders. One of the curls actually disappeared between her breasts. She wore a lacey peach-colored dress that came just to the middle of her thighs, but her legs looked to be nine feet tall, so her dress appeared way shorter than it probably was. A pair of Ray-Ban’s sat on the top of her head and a smile that could stop traffic spread across her face. She uncrossed her ankles and walked over to Becki and me with her hand extended.

  “Calon. Becki. I’m Danny. Cyan said this was a good time to come meet you guys. I just wanted to introduce myself before we made any plans for a discussion on what services I could provide the band.” She winked and shook both our hands.

  I waited for some snide comment from Bones on the services she could provide for him. He said nothing, but Becki’s body language told me I should be more concerned about her reaction to Danny than his. I took Becki’s hand in mine and lifted it to kiss her knuckles, making it perfectly clear that flirting with me was not in Danny’s best interest.

  “Nice to meet you, Danny. I hope you like Mexican food. You’re welcome to join us for dinner, and we can chat while you have all of us here.” I motioned toward the food.

  “Sounds great. I’m a Mexican food whore.” Her voice was sultry and deep. But she had a sweet air about her, too.

  We spent the next couple hours getting to know Danny, and it seemed she really knew her stuff. As long as she and Becki could stay on good terms with each other, I knew they would make a phenomenal team.

  “So, Danny, you would be working as my assistant, which means, as manager, I would give you your weekly responsibilities and you would fulfill them to the best of your ability. What strengths do you have that you feel would be an asset to us?” Becki spun a pencil between her fingers and then tapped the eraser end on the table, as though that was the cue for Danny to answer. There was a subtle cockiness in Becki’s attitude. It was obvious she was pissing on her territory and letting Danny know she wasn’t going to be disrespected. Manny and Spider both looked over at me and nodded their approval of how Becki was handling the situation. We all glanced over at Bones who was staring, mouth agape, as Danny licked her fingers free of dripping salsa, as she readied herself to answer Becki.

  “That’s a great question, Becki. Look, I’m here to assist you, plain and simple. Are there tasks and details that I enjoy better than others? Sure. But, my job is to make your job easier, and that’s what my focus would be. I’m a very detail oriented person. I’m a bit OCD, which lends itself well to getting a job done right, the first time. I’m also a people pleaser by nature—”

  “Shit, yeah you are.” Bones’s hand slapped over his mouth, and he spoke through his fingers. “Shit! Did I actually say that out loud? Fuck. I’m an idiot.” He motioned with his hand for Danny to continue. The rest of us just shook our heads.

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Bones.” Danny laughed. “Becki, you and I can sit down and make a list of the things you would rather not be bothered with, and I won’t overstep the boundaries you set. I’m meticulous with following directions and I won’t let you down. I really think we’d make a good team.”

  “Sounds promising. Now, Danny, can you tell us a little about yourself? What would you like us to know about you other than your job-related skills?” Becki jotted some things down on her tablet. I looked over her shoulder and read the words she’d just written…

  A BIT TOO PERKY, BUT I DON’T HATE HER YET.

  I had to rub my face and clear my throat to keep from laughing out loud.

  Danny took a sip of her water and wiped the corners of her mouth with
a napkin. I had to kick Bones under the table to keep him from being so obvious with the inappropriate thoughts he was having about Danny as she spoke.

  “Well, let’s see. I was born and raised in Texas. I’m a country girl through and through. I sing. I’m a huge romance book addict. I run every day, and I’m trying so hard to curb my instinctive reaction to Muppet-flail right now because I’m sitting in a hotel room with the hotties of Alternate Tragedy.” Her voice went up like three octaves as she spoke that last fact, and I could almost feel Becki’s eyes roll.

  “You said you sing.” Becki’s voice had a ‘bring it on’ tone to it. She didn’t even give Danny a chance to respond. “Not to put you on the spot, but can you sing something for us?”

  “Um, sure.” Danny scooted her chair back and shot Becki a look that spoke volumes about her lack of intimidation. Man, chicks were brutal. She smoothed her dress, cleared her throat and put one hand on her stomach. She closed her eyes, hummed quietly, and took a deep breath. She tapped out a beat with one boot and slapped the top of her thigh on the offbeat with her free hand. And like she was standing on an audition stage, she belted the most hypnotizing rendition of Sara Evans’s “Suds in the Bucket” I’d ever heard. Her voice was strong and sultry with just the right amount of rasp. I slowly and discreetly rolled down my flannel sleeves. Becki would punch me right in the junk if she noticed the goose bumps that raised on my arms. Shit, she’s amazing. Her voice did the perfect country twang trill in all the right spots and soon her hips were dipping up and down, back and forth as we watched her lose herself in the a cappella moment.

  She sang the entire song, complete with a ‘yee-hoo’ that just about threw Bones to the floor. She finished, smiled a shy smile, and blushed a little then sat back down in her chair and took a huge bite of her over-stuffed taco. She glanced up at the rest of us, mouths still agape, and giggled.

  “Wow. Holy hell, Danny. You’re crazy good. Wow. You gave me goose bumps.” Becki’s eyes were as big as saucers as she spoke her sincere words. Danny was incredibly talented. No one could dispute that. “Well, even if you’re only half as talented at assisting, then we would be lucky to have you. You guys agree?” Becki looked around the table at the rest of us, and we all nodded in unison.