One-Click Buy: November Harlequin Presents

by Susan Stephens

  And then, by some miracle, he was right in front of her. She thrust out her arms and cried out his name to attract his attention, but he rode past without seeing her. His mount was skittish, jibbing from the howls of the crowd, and it was taking all his concentration to prevent it from rearing up. He looked darker and more forbidding than she had ever seen him. Naked to the waist, his face grimly set in an expression of absolute determination. His thighs were like a steel vise around the stallion’s flanks, and Carrie didn’t have the slightest doubt that Nico was more than a match for the other men. But the fact that he was here at all and taking part in such a ferocious, unforgiving battle terrified her. She called out to him again and waved her arms frantically in the hope he might see her, but the crowd was too noisy and he didn’t turn around, and she could only watch in desperation as he rode away.

  ‘Three times round the race track…’

  ‘What?’ Carrie clutched her throat as she turned to face the elderly woman at her side.

  ‘Three times round the race track. You must come with me,’ she insisted, ‘so we can be at the winning post to cheer him on.’

  The whole crowd was moving and Carrie found it impossible to resist the flood of humanity at her back. She was glad of the older woman’s hand on her arm, directing her, but who knew where…

  Using elbows and determination they finally reached the winning post and secured a prime position. ‘When will the race begin?’ Carrie said, taking advantage of a rare hush. But her companion’s answer was superfluous; the roar of the crowd told her everything. Noise exploded into the silence with such ferocity it shook the ground beneath her feet. Shutting her eyes, Carrie knew the only thing left to her was to wish Nico safe with every fibre of her being.

  Two minutes, fifty-two seconds…that was the record; she’d seen it in the archives kept at the palace. One hundred and ninety-two seconds, and she already knew that each one of them would feel like an hour.

  Leaving the shelter of the elderly woman’s side, Carrie pushed her way to the front of the crowd. She had to see him…She had to be the first to know that Nico was safe…She had to count the horses in one by one…She didn’t care if Nico won, or if he came last, she just wanted to see him cross the line safely….

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  MORE PEOPLE crowded in to see the last lap. It was easy to mark the progress of the race thanks to the waves of noise and the shouts of the crowd. Carrie couldn’t see the horses yet; she couldn’t see anything but heads, shoulders and backs. The crowd was pressing in on her as people grew increasingly excited. The heat was extraordinary…There was no air left to breathe, no wind to cool her.

  She could see them! Nico was safe! She could see him and his nearest rival, neck and neck…Well clear of the following group, they were thundering towards her. She could smell them now; she could smell the tang of violent struggle. The noise was tremendous and sparks flashed off the ancient cobbles beneath the stallion’s hooves. Nico was lying flat on his mount’s sweating neck…The horse was grimacing with effort, ears back, teeth exposed in his frothing muzzle and the whites of his eyes showing clear round the ebony globes.

  Her head was thumping, pounding, people screaming in her ears. Firecrackers erupted in the sky as the end drew close…Streamers flew behind the horses’ heads like flames of red and gold…two stallions tearing towards her, muscles straining to the limit. They were so close she could see their nostrils flaring, and then there was only terror and heat and the press of people at her back…Stumbling forwards, she tried to regain her balance and failed. She didn’t know what was happening, only that her knees gave way beneath her and then she was falling, falling…

  And somehow, incredibly, she was safe in Nico’s arms. His voice brought her back. He was calling to people to make way for them as he carried her through the crowd. So many things flashed in front of her eyes. She couldn’t make sense of any of it…There was noise banging in her head, and Nico, Nico holding her as if she were the most precious thing on earth to him…And then the darkness closed over her again.

  ‘No…no…’ She pushed the cup away, shaking her head with distress. Nico was trying to make her drink something. ‘I’ve ruined it for you…Oh, Nico, I’m so sorry…’As she saw the older woman who had befriended her hovering anxiously in the background Carrie’s pain increased; she had spoiled the day for so many people.

  ‘Cara mia, have I hurt you?’

  Nico had mistaken her distress for pain and was looking at her with such concern in his eyes she explained to him all in a rush that it wasn’t him who had hurt her, but her own foolishness.

  ‘You were looking for me,’ he reminded her tenderly. ‘This is all my fault. I left you in such uncertainty, who could blame you? Certainly not me, carissima,’ he assured her. ‘I can only thank God you’re safe. I can’t believe I nearly lost you—’ He buried his face in her arms.

  ‘You saved my life, Nico. You risked your life to save me….’

  ‘I love you,’ he said, raising his head to stare her in the eyes. ‘What else would I do? If you had been killed my life would be over.’

  ‘You love me?’ Struggling upright, Carrie stared at him. ‘You love me?’ she repeated softly.

  ‘When you stumbled out from the crowd my whole life flashed in front of me, and it was a life without you, Carrie.’

  ‘But I ruined everything for you.’ She stared at him, stared at the familiar, beloved face etched with pain. ‘You lost the race because of me…’

  ‘The race?’ Nico stared at her, his eyes clouded with bewilderment as if he had forgotten the race. ‘You were all I saw…You, Carrie. You filled my mind…A world without you…’ He shook his head. ‘Have you any idea what that would be like?’ His voice was hoarse with emotion as he stared at her.

  ‘But the Palio—’

  Nico stopped her, putting a finger over her lip. ‘Nothing…nothing is more important to me than you, and I nearly lost you.’ He dragged her close.

  ‘People are cheering, calling your name. Nico—’ Carrie pulled back to stare at him ‘—what’s happening? I don’t understand….’

  ‘What can you remember about the race?’ he prompted gently.

  Carrie shook her head and sighed. It was so hard to remember anything, and now Nico was dropping passionate kisses on her neck, it was impossible. But she tried, for his sake, she tried. The horses had been charging straight at her…She had stumbled into their path…After that…

  ‘I must have fainted…’ And if she had fainted then Nico must have leapt from his galloping horse to save her. Carrie went very still. Before he could reply the old lady who had befriended her came forward to see how she was. There were more people, crowding behind her; her family, Carrie guessed. She was instantly paralysed with guilt and shame to think her fainting had cost them the race. ‘I’m so sorry…’

  ‘Sorry?’ the old woman exclaimed. ‘You should be happy you have won the heart of the winner of the Palio.’

  Carrie turned to Nico in bewilderment. ‘What does she mean?’

  ‘She means I won,’ he said with his usual economy of words and emotion.

  ‘You won?’ He was so matter-of-fact, the change in him was stark. When he had professed his love for her he had shown more feeling than this. ‘I don’t understand how you could have won the race when you didn’t cross the line. What? Why are you smiling at me, Nico?’

  ‘Should a winner be sad?’

  ‘You won the Palio?’ Carrie shook her head, still not understanding.

  ‘I won your heart,’ he said, and as Nico stared at her Carrie felt his intensity and his need for her to believe him.

  ‘Yes, you did,’ she said softly, ‘but because of me you lost the race. You don’t have to pretend otherwise to try and make me feel better.’

  ‘Have I ever lied to you, Carrie?’

  ‘Never.’ It was true; he never had.

  ‘Then, believe me when I tell you that I won the Palio. Or should I say, my horse w
on the Palio.’ He stroked her face very gently, smoothing away the concern. ‘Fuoco’s headpiece was in place when he crossed the line, which is all that matters. No one cares about the jockey.’

  ‘I do,’ Carrie declared passionately.

  ‘Then, you’re on your own,’ Nico assured her, with a wry smile. ‘It’s enough to know that Fuoco won the Palio.’

  As he spoke a cheer went up making further conversation impossible and Carrie’s heart soared as she gazed at all the glowing faces gathered around them. ‘I’m just so proud of you.’

  ‘And I’m just so relieved you’re safe, piccolo topo.’

  She could see by his face he was teasing her. ‘What does that mean?’

  ‘Little mouse,’ Nico admitted dryly.

  They were distracted by the sound of a resounding splash and some good-natured jeering.

  ‘Feel sorry for him,’ Nico said by way of explanation.

  ‘Sorry for whom?’

  ‘For the jockey who came second. He’s been pitched into the horse trough for his trouble.’

  ‘But if he came second he did really well.’ Considering the competition, he must have ridden extremely well, Carrie thought proudly, staring at Nico.

  ‘Here in Niroli second place is considered more shameful than coming last,’ he explained. ‘If you come second the belief is that you could have won if you had only tried a little harder.’

  ‘Well, I’m glad you were saved a soaking,’ Carrie said, nestling deeper into Nico’s embrace.

  ‘So am I…Though there were the odd moments when I doubted that I would…’

  And now she doubted he was talking about the Palio. ‘Do you still have doubts?’

  ‘None,’ Nico assured her. ‘Now I am absolutely certain.’

  And as cheers rose all around them for the hero, Nico Fierezza, who had won the Palio for the underdogs Nico drew his beloved Carrie into his arms and kissed her.

  They were back at the palace where Nico had insisted Carrie must rest. He had called for a doctor, who had pronounced her fit and well, but said she was a victim of the heat that affected so many at this time of year. Nico had enforced his will on this occasion and had Carrie propped up on a daybed on a balcony overlooking the lake.

  ‘There must be no more skydiving from ridiculous heights,’ she told him, ‘no more diving with sharks, or dicing with death on white-water rapids and no more horse races—’

  ‘And how shall I change you?’ he said, pretending to ponder the dilemma.

  Nico’s eyes were dark as sleep and Carrie felt a stirring of fear, knowing that he courted danger as assiduously as most people avoided it. She couldn’t bear to think about the possibility of losing him and had to know he would give up his love affair with extreme sports. ‘I’m being serious, Nico. You must promise me now that you’re going to be a father all risk-taking will stop.’

  ‘Then shall I leave you?’

  ‘No…And don’t tease me,’ Carrie warned him, ‘because this is serious.’

  ‘It’s easy to take risks when you have no one dependent on you,’ Nico observed.

  ‘No one’s dependent on you now,’ Carrie assured him, ‘but that doesn’t mean to say you can take risks.’

  ‘So is this a one-way relationship?’ Nico mocked her gently. ‘Maybe you don’t want to be dependent on me, Carrie, but our child will have to be dependent on both of us. And it wouldn’t be so bad if you were dependent on me, too, would it?’ There was a serious question in his eyes.

  ‘You know my position and it hasn’t changed.’

  ‘Would your position remain the same if we were married?’

  Carrie went very still as Nico added, ‘It makes sense, you know it does. You can depend on me to take care of you and still retain your independence.’

  And when she still didn’t speak he went on, ‘I want to look after you, Carrie. I want to shoulder full responsibility for you and for the baby.’

  ‘And you’re sure that’s not just duty speaking?’ She would rather remain on her own than have Nico stand by her out of a sense of duty.

  ‘I’m quite sure.’ Coming to kneel by her daybed, Nico took her hand and, resting it briefly against his brow, he brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss on her palm. ‘Say you’ll marry me, Carrie…’

  Say you’ll make me a father… It was too late. All the old doubts and insecurities had flown back into her mind. She was plain and she was dull, and Nico was…

  ‘Getting married makes good sense, you know it does,’ he tried again, unaware of her inner turmoil.

  Sense? She had used good sense all her life, except where Nico was concerned, and she never wanted to use good sense where love was concerned. ‘I don’t want to—’

  ‘Carrie, please…’

  She turned her face away from him. She wanted more than a cold-blooded arrangement based on good sense; she wanted Nico with his guard down, she wanted a proposal of marriage from a man who loved her to distraction. What she didn’t want was another business proposition. ‘I need time to think, Nico…And now I need to sleep.’ Which was a lie. It was the last thing she needed. ‘The heat…’ She made a weak gesture with her hand.

  ‘Of course…’

  Carrie didn’t turn to look as Nico walked away. Had she ruined everything? Nico had proposed marriage and she had refused him a second time. He had told her that he loved her and she had turned him away.

  Because his emotions were on fire, he wasn’t thinking rationally…She had to think for him. He had been caught up in the passion of the Palio, and then in her near accident. And if he loved her at all it was because she was carrying his longed-for child….

  Crunching up her fingers, Carrie pressed them against her forehead, wishing it could be different. Everything Nico had said to her should have been enough, but the recognition that it was adrenalin driving him meant it wasn’t enough and never could be. She couldn’t accept him. A marriage without love was no marriage at all, and a loveless marriage to Nico would destroy her.

  He’d had a night to sleep on what had happened and he still found it hard to believe that he had handled the situation so badly. In business he was always sure-footed, he always knew the right thing to say, but when it came to personal relationships he was out of his depth.

  Using business terminology—contracts, good sense—was hardly the right language to use when he was speaking to the love of his life about the most important decision they would ever make. He’d made so many mistakes. First he’d tried to blackmail Carrie into staying with him and then he’d risked his life knowing he was going to be a father. No wonder she thought he didn’t care about her or their baby. She was too shrewd to be steamrollered and he was going to lose her if he wasn’t careful.

  He was so used to having everything his own way he hadn’t prepared for the possibility that Carrie might refuse his proposal of marriage. But on the plus side, he didn’t know what it was to give up, either.

  Carrie hugged herself as she stared out across the lake. The smooth sheet of water had turned rosy gold in the early evening light and was lit with fiery lanterns in honour of a small ceremony to mark the end of the Palio. There would be a reception, Nico had told her, which he hoped she would attend.

  She would leave then to start her new life. It seemed appropriate to be leaving Nico in the midst of victory—one of his many victory celebrations.

  The only victory Carrie cared about was hearing Nico tell her that he loved her, that he really loved her. Perhaps she was more needy than most. She had felt so lonely with her aunt and realised now it must have affected her. But the loneliness she had experienced then was nothing compared to this, Carrie thought as she turned away from the lake. Leaving Nico again was the hardest thing she’d ever have to do. She could see everything she had done wrong. She had tried to change him…but into what? Wasn’t he the man she had fallen in love with?

  Even in her present mood she couldn’t help smiling when she saw him coming across the grass toward
s her. It was tempting to believe her thoughts had summoned him and, because she couldn’t wait to find out what he wanted, she ran to meet him.

  ‘You should be resting,’ he said with concern. Taking hold of her arms, he drew her in front of him.

  ‘Nico, I’m sorry.’

  ‘For what? Carrie…for what?’

  ‘For trying to change you. Can we stay as we are? Can we be friends? I know I shouldn’t try to change you any more than you should try to change me. Will you forgive me, Nico?’

  ‘Slow down…What are you talking about?’

  It was the most she had said in a long time, and as words never came easily to her, she had used them all up and could only shake her head at him now.

  ‘I’m in no hurry,’ Nico said gently, ‘Take your time and tell me what’s wrong. What’s upset you?’

  ‘It’s not enough to be married to you, Nico,’ she finally managed. ‘I want to be loved….’

  His beautiful blue-grey eyes darkened. ‘And do you think I don’t love you?’

  ‘You’ve never said so…except after the race, and that was different—’

  ‘Different? Why?’

  ‘You were upset and shocked…we both were.’

  She was right about that. And what she didn’t know was that words didn’t come easily to him, either, which was why he had always felt close to her. He was capable of strong feelings, but expressing them…that, he found impossible. He could tease her, he could make light of anything, but expressing his love for her…‘I love you, Carrie.’ He looked deep into her eyes. ‘I’ve always loved you and I will always love you. You’re my one love, you’re my life, you’re the air I breathe, my world, my whole existence. Please say you’ll marry me and spend your life with me so that I can try to make you as happy as you make me…’