Christmas Confidential: Holiday Protector

by Marilyn Pappano

  A masterpiece on canvas could never match her intensity and simmering looks.

  She tugged at his shirt buttons. “Too many clothes between us, to my way of thinking. Take it off.”

  Screw the buttons. He reached down and jerked the hem up and over his head. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Five long, lonely years dissolved in a blaze of heat as he lowered his head and drew her nipple into his mouth. Elana arched her back, letting him splurge on the feast of her body. And feast he did. He consumed her; tasting, sucking, nibbling and fanning the flames between them. Her body was pure shimmering smoothness under his hands and mouth, and he wondered how he had survived for so long without.

  Reaching for his zipper, she tugged on it and the look in her eyes turned hazy with desperation. “Please,” she begged.

  He covered her hand with his as together they slowly lowered his zipper. “I...” He hadn’t come prepared for this.

  Then he remembered something. Standing, he shucked his jeans and dug in the pocket for his wallet. Deep inside one of the wallet’s inside slots he found a couple of ancient condoms. They might be out of date, but still better than nothing for a one-night stand.

  For no matter what else this would be, or what tomorrow would bring, tonight was definitely a one-night stand.

  He threw the condom on the nightstand and loomed over her. “Take the rest off. Now.”

  “Gage.” A whisper of desire in the night.

  She scrambled to lose the slacks and panties. After she’d lain down and gazed up at him with longing, he discovered he couldn’t move. She was so beautiful that he felt consumed by her. Paralyzed, mind and body, with arousal.

  “Please...please,” she begged again.

  Taking his hand, she brought it to her belly and then pushed lower. That was all the coaxing he needed. He knelt on the bed beside her, letting his fingers draw erotic circles around her belly button. Sliding his hand lower along her fine flesh, he dipped his head and replaced his hand with his tongue.

  Her breath caught and she squirmed when his fingers moved lower, tunneling through the curls at the apex of her thighs. “Gage.” Her raspy whisper spoke to her growing need.

  With the tip of his finger, he found her hot, wet center and eased inside. So tight. So slick. He used his thumb to manipulate her engorged nub, and she went wild, thrashing and rotating against his hand.

  For an instant, he thought of Alicia. But then Elana moaned something that sounded like Gaelic words and the thought flew out of his hazy mind. She was close to an edge. Real close. He could tell by her low moans of pleasure. But he was losing his self-control at too great a pace to keep her there until she came. It had been far too long for him.

  Growling out an inaudible cuss word, he reached for the foil packet and covered himself. Before she reacted, he parted her thighs with a knee, moved over her and drove into her waiting warmth.

  He’d wanted to pace his need. But he lost it instead. Lost all sense of where he was and who he was with. Had he ever wanted Alicia this badly? He couldn’t remember ever wanting anyone this much and surely not this fast.

  Pounding into her, he couldn’t make himself slow down. Not even when the fear of being too rough finally dawned on him. But from somewhere outside the mists of his own need, he knew she was meeting his hips stroke for stroke. Knew she’d wrapped her legs around his waist and was crying out with breathless abandon while he plunged to her very center.

  Sweating and beyond rational thought, he felt only vaguely aware of her nails biting into his shoulders. But he remained hyper-aware of her calling out his name as her internal body convulsed around him.

  He rammed into her one last time, riding the wave of a shared release so explosive and intense that the whole room shook with the force of it. Seeing fireworks behind his eyelids, he drew out every last sensation.

  Collapsing on top of her, he listened to his thundering pulse and tried to calm his erratic breathing. Seconds later he rolled to one side, capturing her in his arms and bringing her along as he went.

  But the moment he’d tucked her in close to his heart, Gage knew he’d just done something stupid. Stupid because he still didn’t know who she was for sure but understood very well that she wouldn’t be sticking around long enough for him to find out.

  And danged if suddenly he didn’t want to know her better. He wanted to know what made her happy and sad. Whether she liked horses and rainy weather or fast cars and sunshine. And most of all, which of a thousand places to touch on her body was the one that pleasured her the most. He wanted endless hours of this euphoric feeling. And lots more of what they’d found in each other’s arms tonight.

  He felt tormented by not knowing exactly who she was. No way could she be his dead wife. Alicia was never known to be cruel. Besides, he would’ve recognized her in bed even after all these years, wouldn’t he? At several points during their lovemaking his thoughts turned to Alicia. But then in the next moment the woman beneath him seemed a complete stranger who’d gotten under his skin in less than twenty-four hours. Was it his own heart that had caused him to make up similarities?

  The confusion was driving him insane. But he couldn’t help himself. He wanted her. Whoever she was.

  * * *

  Elana snuggled close to his chest, close enough to feel his heartbeat against her cheek. What a mistake she’d just made. Making love to him again would end up being the death of her.

  They’d always been very different people. He was a hardworking private investigator with a savior complex. And she, the daughter of gypsy criminals, was on the verge of an identity crisis. But the sex...the sex had always been spectacular. Tonight was no exception. She’d almost forgotten the kind of pleasure Gage could provide. Or rather, she’d managed to push it out of her mind. But now she’d had a big fat reminder that would forever leave her longing for his touch and dreaming of his kiss.

  He scared her to death. The man was seriously into saving people. Besides the sex, she’d fallen in love with big, strong, protective Gage Chance who seemed so honest and straightforward. And now, even though he still didn’t seem sure of her true identity, he would be trying to save her new persona from whatever danger lurked around the next corner.

  Good way to get himself killed, the idiotic man. And she was an even bigger imbecile for getting into bed with him.

  Keeping her eyes closed, she breathed in his scent. Spice and musk and something indefinable that was all Gage. As much as this night had been a bad idea, she couldn’t manage to regret it. She would pay for it, maybe for the rest of her life, but she would never be sorry they’d made love one last time.

  Still, she felt changed by making love to him again. And it seemed clear that nothing she said or did would make him leave her and save himself. So it was time for the truth. That might not save him, but she owed it to him.

  He stirred and began stroking her back, murmuring words she couldn’t understand but got the gist of anyway. Torn, she wanted what he wanted—badly. More of what they’d just shared. But maybe if she moved away from him now, pretended what they’d done wasn’t something she wanted to repeat, he would back off and give her the time to get herself together before she told him everything. Ah hell, who was she kidding? She was a terrific liar, but she’d never be able to pull that off.

  She should get up. Say something. Start giving him the complete truth. Should. Should. Not a chance.

  He groaned in her ear and slanted a kiss across her lips that sizzled all the way down her spine. Reaching for him and finding him hard and ready, she lost her mind as white heat and rock-hard satin singed her fingers. Any resolve she might’ve had left was totally lost while the room combusted around them.

  Later was her last coherent thought as she rubbed the tip of his erection against the spot on her body that ached for him the most. She would make things right—
but much later.

  * * *

  Gage reached for Alicia in his sleep. But when all he found was empty space in the bed beside him, he came awake with a start.

  What the hell?

  Looking around the room, he realized where he was. Not Alicia. Not home. It all came back with a thud. Judging by the clock on the nightstand, it was 5:00 a.m. and he’d been making love to Elana for most of the night. And it had been a night like no other. But where was she now?

  The artificial light filtering in through the window was partially blocked by a heavy snowfall. It was really coming down hard now. Where was she?

  Sitting up and putting his feet on the carpeted floor, he spotted a light coming from under the bathroom door. The door was cracked open slightly, and if he held his breath he could hear a mumbled conversation going on.

  He stood and quickly located his coat. Sure enough, his sat phone was missing.

  He took his first real breath since coming awake and realizing Elana wasn’t in bed. Who would she be calling at this hour? He hoped it was only her daughter, but somehow he doubted that. Whoever it was could be connected to the men after her.

  Why didn’t he know which it was? He was good enough to sleep with but not good enough for the truth?

  Suddenly pissed as hell, at her and himself, he stormed to the bathroom door determined to shake the truth out of her and replace it with some sense. But when he got close, he found he could hear at least her half of the conversation. He didn’t much like eavesdropping, but he hated being lied to even more. Hesitating with his hand on the doorknob, he listened.

  “No, he doesn’t know yet,” she said in a voice that had not a trace of an accent. “Because. Because I didn’t want to tell him unless I had to. Now, I guess I must. I can’t sneak out without waking him. I have to say something.”

  He felt like someone had hit him upside the head with a two-by-four. It was Alicia’s voice, and she was talking about him.

  “Yes, yes. I know,” she went on. “I’ll find a way to disappear again after I explain who I am. He’ll be angry when he hears the truth. That should give me the space I need to leave him behind.”

  It took Gage all of ten seconds to put two and two together. And when he did, the emotions flooding him ran the gamut from mad as hell, to pure relief at finding her alive, to hurt and humiliation. He froze where he was, unable to process all he felt.

  “It’ll be okay,” she added in that same hushed phone voice. “You just be ready to come get me when I call. We still have the Russians and my father to worry about.”

  That did it. He bolted into the bathroom and found her, standing totally naked before the mirror. Her eyes went wide with shock when she spotted him.

  Danged if the truth wasn’t evident in those very eyes staring wildly at him. Eyes he’d thought he would never see again. Hazel eyes. Alicia’s eyes.

  “Gage...I...” She set the phone down and turned to him. “Let me explain.”

  “Yeah, so you can spin me another pack of lies? No thanks, Alicia. You’ve done quite enough of that already.”

  “There were reasons for the lies. And I’ve regretted them every day since the day I disappeared.”

  “Disappeared?” He laughed but the sound was hollow and full of hurt. “Is that what you call it? You died. I watched you slip under the bridge. Damn it. I grieved for you.”

  His chest hurt so badly he figured he must be having a heart attack. “Why, Alicia?” His voice cracked and came out in a hoarse whisper. “Just tell me why?”

  “My name is not Alicia.” The cry in her voice sobered him up fast.

  Anger flashed, strong and mind-numbing through his clogged brain. “No more lies.” Wanting to shake the truth out of her, he fisted his hands at his side. “It’s time for explanations.”

  She turned and grabbed for a towel. “I’m so sorry, Gage.” When she faced him again, holding the towel in front of her, her face was a mask of pain. Her bottom lip trembled and her eyes brimmed with water.

  Fake tears? “Stop it,” he ordered. “Just stop it. Do you have any idea what you put me through? Not a day has gone by for the past five years that I haven’t thought of you and wondered if you’d felt any pain when you died. And you’re sorry? It nearly destroyed me when I couldn’t find you in the water. I have never felt so helpless.

  “I want to know why you faked your death.” He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “Why you’re living as someone else. And most of all, if you were in trouble, why didn’t you let me help you? I thought we loved each other.”

  “You didn’t know me.” Before she turned away, he saw her face. No tears in sight.

  Rage made him blind and desperate. Reeling, he took a step back but quickly recovered. Taking her by the shoulders, he gave her a hard shake. “Tell me.”

  “Everything I told you about my background when we were married was a lie,” she said with such a calm demeanor that it shook him even more. “But I want to tell you the truth now. You should know.”

  “You wouldn’t know the truth if it came wrapped in a gold ribbon.” He squeezed her arms, wanting to pry the story from her lips.

  “You’re hurting me.” She raised her shoulders and tried to squirm away.

  He loosened his grip but didn’t let go. “Start with the name. Who are you?”

  “I was born Amara Coppersmith. The daughter of American Rom parents. We’re gypsies, Gage. Just like I said. Everything I said about my family...about the arranged marriage...that part was all true.”

  “Was I the guy in your story? The dumb one you used? Why did you find it necessary to fake your death? Did you hate me so much that you had to run away from me, too?”

  She looked up at him, her face stricken with pain. “I could never hate you, Gage. That was just a story. And I’m truly sorry for the hurt I caused. Faking a drowning was stupid. But I didn’t have a lot of time to make better plans. My father and the Russian mob boss had spotted me just that morning. The idea of drowning was Brendan’s.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were in trouble? Let me help?” He couldn’t breathe. Could barely hear her voice anymore because of the drumbeat of his own pulse.

  “Brendan was close by and knew the background. I needed to get out of town that day. He had the contacts to make it happen. You would never have let me go alone. I know you. You would’ve wanted to save me. I couldn’t let you do that.”

  Something snapped inside him. “I didn’t know you, but you knew everything about me?” He pushed her against the wall and got right in her face.

  Her eyes widened again—until she looked down between them and saw a truth he couldn’t hide. “I promise you, Gage,” she said, reaching for him. “I didn’t leave because I was unhappy. Not with you. You made my life wonderful for the very first time.”

  “You haven’t answered the most important question,” he snarled, dragging her lush body flush against him.

  “Forgive me for the lies.” Looping her arms around his neck, she went up on tiptoes and rubbed her breasts against his chest. “Are you asking about the sex? The sex between us was always the best. That hasn’t changed if that’s what you want to know.”

  He grabbed her bottom, lifted her up. “Put your legs around me.”

  She did what he asked, reaching between them to position him to her opening. “Yes, Gage. Yes, I want this, too.”

  Flexing his hips, he plunged into her. “Tell me,” he demanded against her mouth.

  He buried himself deep in her waiting heat. “Did you ever love me?” The question was nearly lost as he planted kisses along her jawline and squeezed her bottom to dive in even deeper.

  Her head rolled and she started to moan. “Gage...”

  “Answer me,” he ground out as he held himself still. “Did you ever really love me? Or was it
all a lie?”

  “Please.” She rocked her hips against his. “Now.”

  This wasn’t just about sex for him. It was about healing. And about love. And most of all about possession.

  “Did. You. Love. Me?”

  “I loved you,” she gasped. “Oh, God, how I loved you.”

  His mind went blank. He began pumping into her, catching her screams in his mouth and relishing every second. When she squeezed her thighs together, the earth stood on its head.

  Her orgasm was so powerful it took him right along for the craziest ride of his life. Moments later as she continued convulsing around him, he felt his knees buckle.

  Still breathing heavily, he lowered her feet so she could reach the floor. But he left his hands on her hips to keep them both steady. Leaning his forehead against the wall, he felt utterly destroyed.

  A few seconds later, she stirred and lightly pushed on his chest. “Now we both need a shower.”

  He moved aside but hung on to a towel bar for balance.

  “I want you to know,” she began as she turned on the water. “I still love you. More than ever.”

  He reached for her again, ready for a repeat performance.

  She held him at arm’s length. “But I must tell you the whole truth. I can’t live with the lies between us. I’ll be out in a moment. Just wait.”

  Feeling like a complete imbecile, he said, “I’ll be here. But nothing says I’ll believe a thing you have to say.”

  Chapter 7

  Elana had never faced anything this difficult. As she turned away from Gage and stepped into the shower, the look on his face, that combination of longing and regret, cost her something. It ripped a large chunk of her heart out and stomped it into dust.

  Dear Lord, she felt dirty. But no amount of washing would take away the stains of her betrayal. She was so ashamed of the way she’d used him—not only during the night for sex, but also for their entire relationship. He and his isolated ranching community in west Texas had made wonderful ports in the storm—for a while. But she’d married him knowing full well that it wouldn’t last. It couldn’t. They were too different.