Heavenly Desire

by J. L. Sheppard

  “Not like that.” She hesitated. “Well, no.”

  It piqued his interest. Wanting to know who had been the man lucky enough to capture her heart, he asked, “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I thought I was at one point in my life, but now looking back, it wasn’t like the love my parents shared. I guess hindsight is twenty-twenty, huh?”

  Clyde held her gaze until she looked away then he checked his watch. Past seven o’clock. They were done with dinner, but he couldn’t fathom taking her home just yet. He craved to know more as deeply as he craved spending more time with her.

  “Do you want to get out of here? I thought we could go on the London Eye.”

  Her eyes met his again then she rewarded him with a smile.

  “I mean, if you want. I know you probably have an early morning—”

  “I’m off tomorrow,” she said simply. “I’m off on Saturdays.”

  He smiled and motioned to the waitress for the check. “That’s good, so I can have you all night?” he said then tensed.

  “Don’t look so worried, Clyde. I figured you were joking,” she replied and laughed.

  He stared at her because he couldn’t help it. Another breeze blew by, and her hair swirled around her. A beautiful sight.

  With the bill paid, they left quickly. He opted to take a cab to the London Eye despite her protests it was only a short walk. They arrived and waited in line, exchanging small talk every so often. Once on the large Ferris wheel with enclosed rooms that allowed one to see a clear view of the city, he realized, she had barely spoken and seemed lost in thought. He had the sudden urge to reach inside her mind and read her. It was a gift all angels possessed, but he hesitated. Why? He didn’t know, but the pause was long enough for the London Eye to reach the top and then her gasp distracted him.

  He shifted his focus away from his previous thoughts and toward her expression. With her cheeks rosy, her dark hair in waves cascading around her and that smile, she was beaming.

  “This is amazing!” she exclaimed. “I can’t believe I waited so long to see this. It’s…it’s—”

  “Beautiful,” he finished for her.

  She turned to peer his way. “Yes,” she said excitedly then turned her attention to the view.

  He’d meant her, not the view. He had barely spared a glance at the city below because he couldn’t peel his gaze away from her, but she was too consumed in her surroundings.

  He placed his palm over his aching chest, confounded what had provoked it. Because she hadn’t known he complimented her? Because he wanted her to know? Because what? What did it mean?

  Because he felt and he shouldn’t, he concluded.

  “Who are you, Clyde?” she asked, sparing a glance in his direction.

  He never knew what she would say next. It captivated and startled him simultaneously.

  People were so easily read. What you saw was usually what you got. But not her. She was different, an anomaly, similar to her sisters yet miles apart. She was lovely, enchanting, determined yet timid but blunt at the same time. How was it possible such a magnificent, fascinating being existed that he had never been aware of until days ago?

  “I am just like everyone else,” he said before he thought it through.

  She turned his way, and her eyes met his. Her intense yet reserved expression made his heart jump in his chest. “No, you aren’t,” she said matter-of-fact. “Either you are really good at fooling people or you are just really good.”

  Her response baffled him. Could she read people as easily as he could? He’d had two thousand years of experience, and his gift. She couldn’t possibly. She was an Elemental, they didn’t possess the ability, not that he knew of. But then how had she gotten a glimpse of him and who he was?

  He cleared his throat. “I am not good at fooling people,” he said then felt the lie tear a hole in the pit of his stomach. He had fooled Jenna. He was her guardian and befriended her, and for six years she had been none the wiser.

  Looking away from him and toward the view, Ashley smiled. “I know you aren’t ready to tell me, Clyde.”

  She was right. Again, he was mystified how easily she read him.

  “I never know what you will say next.”

  “Of course, you don’t, you barely know me.”

  The urge to disagree was on the tip of his tongue, too close to admitting his heart recognized her the moment he laid eyes on her, but how he felt didn’t make sense even to him. He felt he knew her better than he knew even Jenna, but it was an absurd feeling, one he couldn’t explain. The truth was he didn’t know her. They had just met, and she continued to catch him off guard saying things he would never expect.

  “I guess that’s true.” He paused then asked, “What are you doing tomorrow?”

  With wide eyes, she once again turned to look in his direction. “On my days off, I usually clean and do laundry and maybe watch a movie.”

  “So you won’t have time for anything else?”

  She shrugged then said, “Depends.”

  He buried his hands in his pockets then asked, “On?”

  “Whether or not you ask me what you really want to ask.”

  He couldn’t help but smile. “Do you want to go on a picnic with me?”

  She held his gaze for moments too long without responding.

  Shifting his weight nervously, he considered the probability of her saying no. He hadn’t been on point tonight and doubted he’d made a good impression. “Or I can take you to the London Tower, you can see the crown jewels and where Anne Boleyn was beheaded and…” He tensed. Where Anne Boleyn was beheaded? Why would I say such a thing?

  She laughed again distracting him from his thoughts. “I’d love to see where Anne Boleyn was beheaded.”

  He let out a breath then berated himself some more. “Great, so we can go to the London Tower, then we can have a picnic.”

  She nodded. Before Clyde realized it, their time on the London Eye ended. He escorted Ashley to the exit then signaled for a cab. When they reached her flat, he paid the cab driver and walked her to her door.

  “I had a great time, Clyde. Thank you,” she said, smiling.

  “I had a great time, too. I’ll pick you up around ten?”

  She nodded. He watched her enter her flat and close the door.

  ****

  Ashley lay in bed for hours after Clyde dropped her off. Though she was exhausted from her week and glad she was off the next day, she couldn’t sleep.

  Her thoughts whirled in circles around the seemingly well-put together man she had met not a week before, Clyde. The handsome stranger who’d yet to reveal a thing about himself.

  She found herself continually wondering who he was. When she tired of guessing, she had asked him directly and discovered he was as good at omitting as he was at avoiding questions.

  He’d said he was like everyone else. She knew in the pit of her stomach it was a lie. He was the farthest thing from being like everyone else, courteous, always opening doors, pulling out chairs, his insistence on paying, and he had saved her.

  Far away from here, he’d said when she had asked where he was from. Well, so was she, but she hadn’t responded that way.

  He’d only divulged he was in London on business, but he hadn’t volunteered where he worked or what his work entailed. For all she knew, he was a hit man, and she was his target.

  The wondering game could get old quick.

  Why did he continue to ask her out? What was the point? He seemed interested in what she had to say but never volunteered information about himself, which would make anyone hesitant to share more. It didn’t seem he was attracted to her sexually. He hadn’t tried to kiss her and had only reached for her hand in a comforting way.

  One thing was certain: she shouldn’t have agreed to go out with him again. He was hiding something, she was sure of it, but something else, another force, kept drawing her to him. It baffled her how she knew she should say no, but her heart continued to say yes
.

  She should cancel their plans tomorrow. Yes, that’s what she would do, except she didn’t have his number and didn’t know where he was staying. Probably a hotel, she thought considering he was in London on business. But she’d need his last name.

  I don’t even know his last name! Idiot, idiot, idiot!

  Whatever his interest in her was, it would lead nowhere. After all, he was in London on business, which meant he’d go back to wherever he came from and soon.

  It was wrong to enjoy his company because she was inexplicably drawn to him, and when he left, she would be hurt.

  “Ugh!” Ashley sighed pulling away her covers. She headed into the kitchen for a glass of water and drank as her mind continued to wander, then headed for bed.

  An hour later, she finally drifted to a fitful sleep.

  ****

  Clyde waited outside her flat for half an hour before he shifted to spirit form, becoming invisible. He searched her flat and found her in bed wearing a baby blue, long-sleeved night gown. Without a shred of make-up, she looked beautiful, her skin flawless, her slightly upturned nose, high cheekbones and full lips. Her eyes opened staring at the ceiling. Too busy admiring her, he didn’t realize for several moments that her brows were drawn.

  He concluded her thoughts were probably keeping her awake. Was she thinking of him? He smiled.

  For the second time that night he considered reading her, but again, he hesitated. What was he afraid of? He shouldn’t fret about doing something so meaningless. Angels did it often with everyone they encountered, helped, guarded and healed. When he was entrusted to guard Jenna, he had read her without a second thought. Then why now with Ashley did he feel it was an invasion of her privacy somehow?

  Just do it, he told himself. It is your duty. You can’t mess this up.

  He focused, opening his mind to reach hers. No images assailed him. No thoughts engulfed him. Again, he attempted to reach into her mind, and again nothing came. Confounded, Clyde floated closer, forcing all thoughts aside except his ability, but it was as if he hadn’t tried. No images, no thoughts, no memories. Nothing.

  He drifted outside still in spirit form and came across a woman with blonde hair and green eyes. He opened his mind then linked it with hers. Instantly, images of her life flashed in his mind, hearing every thought she had ever possessed.

  Her name was Amelia Thomas, a local, born and raised in London, the product of two wealthy parents who had spoiled her rotten. She had gone to college, slept around, drank a lot and then barely graduated. She married a wealthy man she didn’t love but her parents approved of. She’d recently discovered her husband cheated on her, and she was two months pregnant.

  Clyde’s attention then wandered to a child with red hair and brown eyes. He opened his mind and linked it to the boy’s. Images assailed him as barely coherent phrases flooded his mind.

  The boy’s name was William, named after his father who died in a car accident when he was an infant. His mother worked two jobs to support him but barely made ends meet. Often she went without food, so William could eat.

  He sighed and headed toward the boy’s mother. Still invisible, he placed three hundred pounds in the mother’s purse. He then floated inside Ashley’s flat.

  She still lay in bed. He opened his mind and attempted to link it to hers, but nothing came, not a shred or a glimpse of who she was, what she had endured or what she thought.

  He couldn’t read her. Never had he encountered a being, mortal or immortal, he couldn’t read. She was an anomaly.

  Why and what did it mean? He waited several hours until Ashley finally drifted to sleep then he left confused and frustrated. On his way to his hotel suite, he read every person he spotted. Perhaps, he hoped to find another he couldn’t read. He pondered the whys and significance when he arrived at his suite then as he showered. By the time he lay in bed, he concluded he had no answers.

  Chapter 4

  It was summer in New York. The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky. Strolling through Central Park, he only heard the sound of the trees swaying in the breeze and birds chirping.

  In the distance, she came to view, wearing a white blouse, blue pleated skirt and white wedges. Her dark hair was parted at the side, flowing in the wind. She spotted him, smiled and waved. As he neared, her classic features came into view more clearly: her flawless skin, her radiant chocolate eyes and the natural blush in her cheeks.

  Stunning, he thought.

  “Clyde,” she said. “How did you sleep?”

  He was at a loss for words, enthralled with her beauty. He cleared his throat just as she pulled her hair behind her, then he blurted, “Good, and you?”

  Her eyes flickered behind him. “Good.”

  They picked a spot in Central Park for their picnic. He laid down a blanket and she sat across from him, folding her legs under her. He removed cheese, crackers and a bottle of wine from the picnic basket then served her a glass of wine, plated several cheeses and crackers and handed them to her.

  “Thank you,” she said then sipped her wine. “I don’t know anything about you, Clyde. Why won’t you tell me?”

  “I’ll tell you soon,” he replied. “I promise.”

  She placed some cheese on top of a cracker then ate it. “How long will you keep me waiting? You know women can’t wait around forever.” She smiled.

  He felt his face flush.

  She laughed aloud. “I’m teasing you.”

  “I’ll tell you,” he said. “I came here for you, Jade Ashley.”

  Clyde jolted up in bed, his eyes blinking open. His mind swarmed with images from yet another dream.

  Ashley in Central Park, as ravishing as usual, smiling, basking in the New York sun.

  What did the dream mean? What did it mean that he, an angel, kept dreaming? Perhaps, as he feared, he was losing his status. He couldn’t read her and kept dreaming of her.

  Then another thought occurred. Was it possible he dreamt of her because he couldn’t read her? Maybe the dreams were meant to give him glimpses into her mind.

  The words she had spoken drifted though him: I don’t know anything about you, Clyde. Why won’t you tell me?

  Yes, that had to be it. He dreamt of her because he couldn’t read her.

  He supposed he would have to tell her more about himself today. He’d avoided her questions because he hadn’t wanted to lie, not to her. He didn’t want her to feel fooled as Jenna had when she’d discovered he was her guardian and not a mortal. This will be different. And it would. He’d fooled Jenna for years. She’d had a right to be upset, but he wouldn’t fool Ashley for long. Soon he would tell her the truth.

  To appease her curiosity, he didn’t have to lie. He could tell her about his life with Jenna when he had assumed the life of a mortal.

  He shifted his gaze toward the alarm clock, blinking 3:20 a.m. then jumped in the shower, his mind replaying the dream. Though he’d come to the conclusion why he dreamt of her, the dream still disturbed him. Two thousand years without a dream would disturb any angel.

  After his shower, he feared sleeping and dreaming. He craved to see Ashley, so he dressed, left his suite and headed to her flat. Shifting to spirit form, he watched her sleep restlessly tossing and turning for several hours and couldn’t help but wonder if she dreamed of him as he’d dreamt of her.

  He liked that idea.

  ****

  Ashley awoke the next morning at six o’clock. The moment her eyes slid open only one thought prevailed…Clyde.

  Closing her eyes briefly, his image came to mind, his disheveled dark hair, piercing sapphire eyes, high cheekbones, full lips, broad shoulders and muscular frame.

  She sighed, then got out of bed quickly.

  Despite her resolve last night, she didn’t have the heart to cancel on Clyde when he showed up on her doorstep. It was too cruel, and she had to face it. She’d never find the courage staring at his handsome face.

  She drank her morning cup of coffee, ran two l
oads of laundry and cleaned as much as she could then jumped in the shower and dressed for her date. She opted to wear a yellow long-sleeved blouse, dark-wash jeans and a pair of brown suede boots.

  At ten a.m. on the dot, she heard a knock on her door. As she wrapped her hands around the door knob, her heart palpitated wildly.

  She spotted Clyde, wearing a royal blue sweater that matched his eyes.

  His eyes trailed her from top to bottom appreciatively then he said, “You ready to go?”

  She smiled and nodded.

  They rode the tube to the London Tower. It was packed with tourists and locals, and yet in the mass of people she was aware of his every subtle movement. He hadn’t said much on the ride over and seemed lost in thought. He purchased two tickets and a booklet with information on the tower then handed it to her. She took it and immediately began browsing through it, the perfect way to distract herself.

  “Do you want to see?” she asked, motioning to the booklet.

  “I’ve been here before.”

  “Oh, so you may get bored.”

  “No, I won’t,” he said simply.

  They walked through the entrance, Traitor’s Gate, then along the Byward Towers and Water Lane. They toured the Medieval Palace, where kings and queens had resided during their rule; the Scaffold Site, where executions were held; the White Tower with its displays of armor and weaponry and the Crown Jewels.

  Clyde mentioned pieces of history every now and then. She found herself entranced with the way he described it as if he had lived it. After four hours of taking in every detail, she was exhausted. Apparently, he noticed.

  “You about ready to go?” he asked, and she nodded. “Did you enjoy it?”

  “Yes, I love history.”

  “I’m surprised you haven’t been here before then. What was your favorite part?”

  “Honestly?”

  He nodded.

  “The Bloody Tower,” she said referring to tower that got its name in the mid-sixteenth century. According to legend, it’s where the princes in the tower were murdered by their uncle Richard, Duke of Gloucester. At his baffled expression, she shrugged then explained, “I love mysteries.”