Heavenly Desire

by J. L. Sheppard

  “How do you like it here so far?”

  “I love it. I mean I miss my job and my flat, but I have my sisters here and that’s what’s important. I never thought we’d be reunited.”

  He turned to her. “Why?”

  “I’ve hired several private detectives over the years, but they never found anything. I figured if each of them had been adopted, then possibly their names had changed or they moved out of the country or…” She shrugged. “Who knows?”

  “I see. I know before Jenna met Lucas, she’d been trying to find you guys, too. She never found anything either. It’s strange considering Jocelyn was in California at the time.”

  “It is, but I guess it doesn’t matter much now as long as we find Jayla and Jillian soon.”

  He nodded. She noticed the reduction sauce was done, and asked Cain to turn off the heat and set it aside to cool. She strained the water out of the macaroni, then instructed how to make the cheese sauce.

  “So have Jenna or Joce mentioned anything about training you?” he asked, his eyes on his task.

  “No, we’ve just been catching up. I guess tomorrow is as good a time as any. I know I would feel better about them if I knew more. I’ve only used my power over the wind twice, and I really don’t know how I did it. The first time, I didn’t even realize I had used them until Clyde told me.”

  She turned to face him and noticed his eyes wide and deadlocked on her.

  “So you have your powers already?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did your sisters explain what that means?” he asked, then focused his attention on the pot in front of him.

  “Yes, I’ve met my mate.”

  “How are you taking that?” he asked then he stiffened, his face reddening. “Sorry, it’s none of my business. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.”

  Shrugging, she said, “It’s no big deal.”

  “Really?” he asked, sounding surprised. He poured the cheese onto the pasta and stirred it.

  “Really, it isn’t. I mean Clyde explained it to me before Jenna and Jocelyn did. I feel fine about it. I mean it’s not like I can change it.” She shrugged again, then walked toward the oven to preheat it.

  “Wow.”

  Quickly, she turned to face him, startled by his response and the expression on his face, shock.

  “I mean, it’s just Joce didn’t take the news well. She likes her freedom, you know.”

  No, I don’t know, she thought and continued to listen intently.

  “She didn’t want to be tied down to someone forever. As time passed, that changed. She couldn’t deny Landon. Fate wouldn’t allow her.” He paused for a second as if in thought. “Jenna was different all together because she was the first. Lucas knew she was his, but we didn’t know if Elementals mated at the time, so technically there was a possibility that he wasn’t hers.” He placed the pasta in a casserole dish.

  She spread several handfuls of bread crumbs over the top of the mac and cheese. “So I’m assuming you’ve seen this all transpire?”

  “Yeah, I was with Lucas when he first spotted Jenna, and Joce lived here when she mated Landon.” He chuckled. “Man, could they go at it—arguing all the time. They still do as you can tell.”

  “Yes, but they complement each other, right?”

  “Of course, mates are chosen by a higher power. They don’t just complement each other. They’re perfect for one another.”

  “That’s good to know.”

  “Do you know—”

  “Who it is?” she finished for him.

  He nodded.

  “No, but Jenna and Joce think it’s…never mind.”

  His eyes sparkled with humor then he said, “They think it’s Clyde.”

  “How did you—”

  “When you’ve seen one pair mate, you’ve seen them all,” he said, chuckling. “Wait and see. This is all new to you now but in a decade, you’ll know right off the bat.”

  “So you think it’s him, too?”

  He smiled. “Yep.”

  Why did everyone assume Clyde was hers? She tried to hide her frustration as she explained, “But angels don’t mate. He told me. I tried to explain it to my sisters, but they wouldn’t listen.”

  “I know,” he said.

  Ashley didn’t know if he referred to the fact that angels didn’t mate or that her sisters wouldn’t listen. But Cain had a lost look about him as if picturing his own mate, so she didn’t ask.

  She exhaled, then the oven sounded signaling it had preheated. She reached for the casserole, but he grabbed it first.

  “I got it. You should let me do all the heavy lifting. Remember I’m your student,” he said, grinning.

  She smiled. He placed the mac and cheese in the oven then she guided Cain on how to blend the yolks and the béarnaise reduction together. After that, she asked him to place it in the blender and add butter.

  “Make sure to add salt and pepper then set it aside in a warm pot.” She then watched as he seasoned the steaks and began grilling them. All the while, lost in thought—all pertaining to Clyde.

  ****

  “Jenna,” Clyde said as he reached the office she shared with Lucas.

  She sat at her desk, reading a large book. Hearing his voice, she pulled her eyes away from her book and met his gaze.

  “Hey, come in, I was just doing a bit of light reading.”

  Clyde glanced at the two-inch thick book, wondering what constituted heavy reading.

  “Where’s Ashley?”

  “Making dinner with Cain.”

  “And you aren’t spying?” she asked, her tone amused.

  “It’s Cain,” he said more forcefully than he’d intended.

  “And you aren’t worried?”

  “No, he’s destined for Olivia.” The latter was true; he’d known for a while Cain’s mate was Olivia. The former was a lie. He was worried—worried Ashley would prefer another over him even if Cain was destined for another.

  Her jaw dropped, feigning shock, she asked, “Is he now?”

  “Yes, it’s obvious to everyone but Landon and Olivia.”

  “I see, so Ash is safe because Cain’s fated for Olivia, not because he wouldn’t hurt Ash?”

  Clyde rolled his eyes knowing exactly where her comments were heading. The very reason he wanted to speak to her.

  “What’s up?”

  “I wanted to talk to you about—”

  “Ashley,” she finished.

  “About what you and Jocelyn told Ashley,” he corrected gritting his teeth.

  “Which part?” she asked nonchalantly.

  He glared at her, knowing very well she knew to what he referred. “Why did you tell her I’m her mate?”

  “Because you are.”

  “You and I both know that’s not possible. You shouldn’t tell her—”

  Quirking a brow, she asked, “I shouldn’t tell her the truth?”

  “Jenna,” he said, firmly.

  “Clyde,” she said, mocking his tone. “You are in denial, just like Landon about Cain and Olivia, but everyone else knows it.”

  “I’m an angel.” He felt the need to remind her. “It’s not possible for us to mate. It has never—”

  “Do you dream about her?” she interrupted him.

  “That has nothing to do with it,” he snapped and wondered again why everyone assumed the dreams meant anything. With the exception of angels, all immortals dreamed. He was sure they dreamt of a variety of other immortals, and it didn’t mean they were fated for them.

  “Clyde, do you see this book?” she asked, pointing toward the book in front of her.

  “Don’t change the sub—”

  “I’m not. Lucas gave me this book. It’s one of the earliest demon scriptures. In it, there are references to Elementals. Do you want to know what it says?”

  “That’s ridiculous. The prophecy states you were the first of your kind.”

  “Actually it states, ‘At the turn of the cen
tury, a new breed will rise, authority of mother earth, a breed believed groundless, amid love, hate and fear, strengths will emerge, a new breed of immortals will evolve, creating havoc and deliverance, producing annihilation or salvation, to mark the end and beginning.’”

  “I’m impressed, you’ve memorized it,” he said sarcastically.

  Jenna rolled her eyes and sighed. “Clyde, because Elementals evolved now doesn’t mean we couldn’t have existed before.”

  “And how exactly does it relate to what you and Jocelyn told Ashley?” he asked, his temper rising. He only ever been this exasperated with his dear friend once when she’d mated Lucas.

  “It relates to my question. Do you dream about her?”

  He released a breath then reluctantly responded, “You already know the answer. Lucas told you, and it doesn’t mean anything. I can’t read her, so technically I could dream of her because I can’t read her.”

  She quirked a brow. “Read her?”

  He groaned aggravated he had to explain this again. “Yes. Angels have the ability to read mortals and immortals. We can reach into their minds and learn everything that has ever happened to them and read every thought they’ve ever possessed.”

  “Okay, so?”

  “So I could dream of her because I can’t read her,” he repeated, his frustration clear in his tone.

  Disregarding his comment, she said, “This book mentions Elementals, Clyde. Demons are the product of the first created angels meaning they are among the oldest. Everything in this book about Elementals, which isn’t much, correlates with me and my sisters.”

  Crossing his arms over his chest, he prodded, “And?”

  “And it mentions that our mates dream of us and that we can communicate through dreams. Do you remember how Lucas dreamt of me centuries before I was born? How I knew Jocelyn had been kidnapped? How Landon dreamt of Jocelyn? Now you’re dreaming about Ashley; what does that mean?”

  “It doesn’t mean anything because I’m an angel, and angels don’t mate. Besides I don’t need sleep, Jenna. I slept in London because I thought Ashley was safe in her home sleeping. I was bored, so I slept.”

  “How about everything else?”

  “What else?” he asked, his tone clipped.

  “The way you treat her like she’s going to break or the way you look at her.”

  “I treat her differently because she isn’t like you or Jocelyn. You and Jocelyn are fearless, headstrong and rebellious. She’s timid and sweet and…”

  “And beautiful and lovely and…”

  She said everything he wanted to but couldn’t say not even to his best friend, Jenna.

  “And I look at her like I look at everyone else.”

  “You are so stubborn!” she snapped. Her eyes ignited, engulfing their darkness with deep blood red color.

  “Look who’s talking,” he shot back.

  “I’m not the one who’s being stubborn now.”

  “You are. She isn’t mine.”

  Jenna slowly rose from her chair and walked toward him, closing the distance between them until she was a foot away. Tilting her head up to meet his eyes, she said, “You aren’t ready to admit it, and that’s fine because I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. You’ve lived so long knowing you would never have a mate. You are allowed to persist she isn’t yours—for now. But remember, there will come a time when you do realize it, and I fear you’ll need to make a decision that could alter both your lives forever. I hope my little sister isn’t hurt in the process. You’re my best friend, but she’s my blood.”

  Jenna then walked toward her desk, sat down in a huff and continued reading as if nothing had occurred.

  Chapter 12

  “I’ll be hunting with the Guardians tonight,” Clyde announced at dinner.

  Tensing beside him, Ashley spared a glance in his direction, then nervously scanned everyone’s faces. Only one emotion prevailed, shock. She knew then Cain hadn’t lied.

  Even if she’d found something to say, she couldn’t have managed it. The thought of Clyde in harm’s way stirred a deep-seated fear in her, making her mute.

  Deep inside, a place that had never ached before, did now. She fought to hold back the tears his announcement evoked. She couldn’t show him how much it hurt. She wasn’t fond of showing anyone else either although surrounded by her sisters she knew it wouldn’t matter much. They felt every ounce of her pain.

  She should’ve seen it coming. He’d kept his distance all night, had only spoken to her once to compliment her cooking even then he’d avoided looking directly at her. Hunting was the perfect excuse to keep his distance.

  His announcement curbing her appetite, she fumbled with her food for the next ten minutes.

  After dinner, everyone scattered, and Clyde disappeared. She and her sisters headed to the rooftop to talk. Every so often, she glanced around hoping to see him, but he never came. Several hours later, they headed downstairs. Jocelyn wanted to kiss Landon goodbye before he left, and Jenna was patrolling with Lucas.

  Ashley watched as Landon and Jocelyn said their goodbyes. He snaked an arm around her waist, pulled her until her small pregnant belly pressed firmly against him, then wrapped his other arm around her neck and kissed her passionately disregarding their audience.

  He pulled only a millimeter away and whispered, “I love you so much, baby.”

  Jocelyn with her heart in her eyes and her arms locked around his neck whispered back, “I love you more, baby. Please be careful. We need you.”

  Then Landon kneeled, placed a kiss on her belly and whispered, “I’ll miss you guys, too.”

  She saw it then too—the love they shared was what she’d wanted her whole life. What Cain had told her was true. A higher power had brought them together. They loved each other despite their constant bickering; they were made for each other. She couldn’t help but wonder if she’d have a similar relationship with her fated mate.

  Ashley bid farewell to everyone, except Clyde. He never came to say goodbye. She supposed he didn’t need to. He didn’t owe her anything. He was her guardian and had saved her, but nothing else. The thought didn’t stop her heart from aching. She knew they were hunting Malums, and a million things could go wrong.

  Everyone left except Jocelyn, Cain and Olivia. Jocelyn suggested they watch a movie to pass the time since the Guardians wouldn’t be back till nearly dawn. Reluctantly, she agreed although she wanted to be alone.

  After the movie, she walked Jocelyn to her room then headed to hers. She wasn’t the least bit tired. Only midnight, her thoughts of Clyde, not to mention her sister and the Guardians in harm’s way kept her anxious throughout the movie.

  When she reached her room, she debated whether to get in the hot tub outside. It was a lovely night, but getting in the hot tub meant she’d need to wear a bathing suit, which she hadn’t done in thirteen years. After a half hour of convincing herself no one would see her, she rummaged through her closet trying to find a bathing suit. Finding several, all skimpy two-piece bikinis, she doubted she would ever buy them even if she didn’t have scars.

  No one is here. No one will see, she chanted over and over again until she summoned the courage to pick one out and put it on. Wrapping a towel around herself, she headed to the patio. After testing the temperature, she removed the towel and immersed in the hot tub. She enjoyed the soothing feel of the water and the warm air outside as it drifted past her for more than an hour wondering, worrying and praying.

  Thoroughly exhausted from her thoughts, she headed inside and showered then fell asleep.

  ****

  Clyde arrived around four a.m. with the rest of the Guardians. In spirit form, he floated to Ashley’s floor and into her room and found her sleeping in bed as he’d expected. For a moment too long, he fought the urge to run his hand down her face before he summoned the courage to leave her. He shifted, headed into the living room and slumped on the couch.

  His mind wouldn’t give him the reprieve he need
ed. He hoped hunting with the Guardians would soothe him, forcing him to draw his attention away from her and that damned heated kiss they’d shared, but it hadn’t. It was all he’d thought about, his moment of insanity, his first moment of passion. How she’d clung to him, her fingernails digging into his chest, how soft her lips were, how good she tasted and how perfectly her body melded against his as if made for him.

  Everyone including Ashley had been surprised by his decision to hunt with the Guardians. He figured it would happen. The experience left him more frustrated than anything else. Every time they spotted a Malum, he wished he could kill them himself knowing any one of them could potentially be sent after Ashley. He couldn’t, however, kill anyone unless they presented imminent danger to Ashley.

  Above all, he felt he needed to keep his distance from her, so he wouldn’t be tempted to give into his desires and kiss her again. In doing so, he hoped everyone would stop assuming Ashley was his. Contrary to what they believed, he wasn’t in denial. No angel had ever mated, and if by some anomaly she was his, he would have known instantly, and he was sure the Lords would have told him.

  It wasn’t his intention to act coldly toward her, but felt he owed it to her to do so. He shouldn’t encourage her feelings or his own because he’d have no choice but to leave her. Eventually, she’d find her mate, and no matter how he felt about her, he couldn’t stand in the way of destiny or arouse guilt in her for caring for him when she had a mate of her own.

  Sighing heavily with his thoughts in turmoil, again he found himself wishing she was his. He would drive himself mad if he continued to wish for something that could never be. With that conclusion, he fell asleep.

  ****

  “Ashley?” he called as a figure so similar to hers came into view.

  The female was short, barely five foot four. Her brown hair cascaded around her in waves. As she drew closer, he realized it was in fact her. She smiled as confusion flashed across her expression.

  “Ashley.” He smiled.

  “Hi,” she said. “How do you know my name?”