Bad For Me (My Forbidden Rockstar)

by Bowman, Dara

  But I wait a beat too long.

  I can’t make out what emotions are going on behind Annie’s eyes, because they are careful and guarded. Her lips are pursed, and I think she wants to say something, but she doesn’t.

  She moves past me into the hallway, and I get a whiff of her again.

  Why does she smell so damn good?

  And while I know that I’m going to see that groupie Khloe again, I can’t help but wish it were Annie who wanted to meet me tonight.

  I needed to know more about her.

  Not able to help myself, I whip out my phone and send a quick text to one of my old music buddies who still plays at the Cherry Tower.

  Do u know anything about a chick named Annabelle Winterford who used to work at the Cherry Tower?

  I follow everyone back into the dining room, and I surmise that we are going to finally have dessert.

  A minute later, my phone buzzes.

  I don’t know an Annabelle Winterford, but there used to be an Annie Winter who used to sing here. Girl could sing and she was HOT as hell.

  That has to be the same Annie. I’m not surprised she doesn’t use her father’s last name.

  I’m sure that’s her. Why doesn’t she sing there anymore?

  The housekeeper bustles in with a platter of fresh berries, pound cake and homemade whipped cream. Cliff and Annie are discussing something in low voices and my mother shoots me an annoyed look.

  “Put the phone away,” she hisses.

  I slip the phone away, and think about what a pansy I am. I’m a grown man of twenty-nine, and I’m still listening to my mother.

  “So, Annabelle,” my mom begins, and I can hear that careful tone which means she’s going to approach a delicate subject. “I’m sorry about earlier, but I thought you sounded beautiful. Cliff said you sang, but I had no idea you sang like that.”

  Annie looks pleased, and she smiles a real genuine smile at my mom as she heaps a spoonful of berries onto her slice of cake.

  “Thanks, Roxie.”

  Annie is different now, more subdued.

  I wonder what Cliff said to her.

  My phone buzzes and it takes every ounce of willpower not to pull it out of my pocket, but I don’t want the wrath of my mother to reign down on me.

  “Dominic liked it too,” my mom says cautiously, and I know she’s hoping Annie will say she’ll go on tour with me.

  Why did I offer her that gig?

  Now, I don’t think it’s such a good idea. How am I going to stop myself from thinking about her? And why I am overanalyzing her anyway? She’s practically bipolar. She’s been hot and cold all night.

  “Mmmhmm,” Annie says evasively, taking a big bite of her dessert.

  I can’t rescind my offer now and I’m still not sure I want to. I think the best course of action is just to let it sit. I’ll talk to the band in the morning about a replacement and maybe they will have had some luck finding someone else.

  I can’t help my curiosity any longer, and I need to read that damn text. I excuse myself, and head out of the room and find myself in a formal sitting room. I take out my phone and look at the text.

  She used to date Sid Black. Found out he had another girl on the side and she went nuts during one of his performances. Pulled out all his wires and shit. It was pretty wild.

  I sank down into one of the stiff chairs in the room.

  Annie had dated Sid Black? I try to picture it but I can’t. He is a complete douche. I can’t help but chuckle as I picture Annie flying into a rage and destroying his stage. I’m sure the dickhead deserved it.

  It’s hard to imagine, and It makes me like her more, yet I can’t help wondering if she’s a live wire.

  She must be a freak in bed.

  Fuck, there I go again thinking about her like that.

  And then I wonder if I’m hallucinating, because Annie is there before me, looking like a vision.

  She enters from the other side of the room, and the setting sun behind her makes her look like she’s glowing. She’s bathed in warm golden sunlight, and she reminds me of a dark-haired angel.

  And then I notice the faint lines of her skimpy little panties, and I’m shot straight back to Hell.

  “Dom?” she asks tentatively.

  “Yeah?” My voice sounds too gruff.

  “Can I speak to you?”

  I nod, and she steps into the room. I can’t see her panties anymore and that’s a damn shame. She situates herself in the chair in front of me, and crosses her legs. She bites her lip, which only makes me think about all the things those lips could do.

  And my stomach twists into an angry snarl when I think of what those lips did to Sid Black. I’m sure he didn’t deserve her, crazy bitch or not.

  “I really appreciate your offer, but I feel like you only made it because of our parents. Oh, and I’m sorry about calling you a prick earlier.”

  I can see that it’s taking a lot for her to say this, and I’m almost enjoying watching her fidget under my gaze.

  This is my opportunity to tell her it was out of pity.

  But it wasn’t.

  “It had nothing to do with our parents. The offer still stands. But I need to know by tomorrow morning.”

  Annie continues to bite her lip, she's unsure whether I'm being honest. Finally, she nods, and I guess she decides to believe me.

  “I need a change in pace. I need to get out of LA for a bit,” she admits.

  I wonder if it has anything to do with that fucker Sid, how long ago did they break up?

  “Is that a yes?”

  She looks at me, and gives me a wide grin.

  “Yes. It’s a yes.”

  “Alright!” I whoop, jumping up. I can’t help my enthusiasm. Annie is going to sing the shit out of our backups. And I’m already thinking of some songs where we can feature her voice more.

  Now, we need to talk business though.

  “I’ll have the contract drawn up tomorrow and then our people will be in touch with you in the next day or so. We’re getting ready to go into a pretty intense rehearsal schedule and there’s a lot of music for you to learn. I can set you up with someone to work on the music.”

  Annie is nodding furiously, as if taking everything in, and I can see her eyes set into steely determination. I don’t know how I know it, but I know Annie is going to kick major ass on our tour.

  Even though she is one crazy hot bitch, she has serious pipes, and she’s going to make our show even more fucking great than it already is.

  We both stand up, and try to leave the room at the same time, blocking each other’s way. Annie giggles nervously and I give her a small smile. We try again, and the same thing happens.

  Annie is so close to me that I can almost taste her breath. Her hair brushes against my bare arms, and it sends a violent shudder through me.

  Instinctively, I reach out to touch her, and the heat between us is so raw that I rock back on my heels. Annie’s face whitens and I know she feels it too. She’s also frozen because she’s not sure why I’m touching her again.

  I hold her in place, just so I can move around her without bumping into her. If my body gets any closer, I think I may spontaneously combust.

  Well, maybe not spontaneously combust.

  But I may very well shoot my load in my pants, and I would never fucking recover from that kind of pussy humiliation.

  Chapter Six

  Annie

  I’m not sure what to expect as I walk up to the non-descript building. This is where I’m supposed to meet Ben Green, the vocal coach hired to help me learn all of Diesel’s music. I check the address one more time, and sure enough, I have the right place. The building sits strangely by itself on the block, it only has a few windows that I can see, and there are no more than two other cars in the parking lot. I hope I’m not being lured to my death.

  I press the buzzer, and a voice crackles over the intercom.

  “Yes?”

  “Umm, my name is Annie
Winter, and I’m here to see Ben Green.”

  There’s more crackling and then silence. The door suddenly buzzes open and I hear a voice over the intercom again.

  “Come on in Miss Winter and head to floor three, please.”

  I walk inside the lobby, and my eyes adjust from the bright sunlight outside. I notice immediately that the lobby is surprisingly cheery; the walls are covered in bright yellow and white hues. I see a kind looking older woman sitting in the far corner, she waves to me, and I assume she’s the one I spoke to over the buzzer. I wave back, and make my way toward the elevators.

  I take a deep breath, step into the elevator, and smile at the receptionist as the metal doors slide shut. I can see my reflection in the glass, and I feel pretty pleased with how I look today. I’m not sure if I’m going to see Dom or not, and I keep trying to convince myself that I don’t care.

  While getting dressed this morning I reached for my favorite rocker jeans, but then stopped cold. I don’t want any reminder of Sid in my life. He still plagues my thoughts daily, and that is bad enough. The last thing I need now is to be wearing the pants he gave me as a gift.

  So instead, I decided on a pair of faded jeans, and a shredded white shirt. I wrapped my hair on top of my head in a messy bun, and wore my favorite black boots.

  I feel like I look pretty kick ass, and without trying too hard.

  The elevator doors swing open and I step out onto the floor. The walls are bright white, and a dozen platinum album plaques hang along the way. I notice Diesel’s latest album hanging among a dozen other records, it’s covered with signatures of each of the band members and I notice Dom’s autograph right away. He would have the largest signature.

  I smooth down my shirt, and try to calm my nerves as I round the bend and walk into what seems to be an open concept music studio.

  I can’t quite believe how much has happened in less than twenty-four hours. Even though I think Dom Dresden is an inconceivable prick, he is hot as hell, and I did agree to go on tour with him in less than two weeks.

  Having to tell my mom that I won’t be coming to New York will probably be one of the worst phone conversations of my life. On the plus side, we’re scheduled to play two shows at Madison Square Garden, so I’ll still be able to visit briefly with my mom and meet her new man.

  I can’t figure Dom out, and I still can’t believe that I agreed to go on tour with him. I tell myself that I agreed to it because it will boost my career, and because I am in desperate need of work. But part of me is excited to be close to Dom and to see if there’s more to him than just his bad boy persona.

  Sigh.

  This is going to be one hell of an experience.

  “You must be Annie!” Says a friendly looking man.

  As he walks into the room the first thing I notice is his long ponytail and goatee. “I’m Ben,” he says, extending his hand, “So great to meet you.”

  “Nice to meet you, too.” I say, as he takes my hand in his.

  “Well, we’ve got our work cut out for us. Are you familiar with Diesel’s music at all?”

  “Yes, and I’ve been listening to their latest album on repeat for the past twelve hours.”

  Ben laughs. “Good, good. That’s a start. Here’s a list of songs that they’ll be singing on tour. As you can see, it’s all their new stuff, plus a few of the fan favorites.”

  He hands me the list, and I scan over all the songs. I’m relieved to see that I recognize all the songs. That’s a small relief.

  Ben gives me a minute or so to look over the list, and then he moves over to the piano.

  “So, I thought we would just start from the top. I’ve scheduled us until three this afternoon, but if you need to stop earlier, I understand.”

  Wow, it’s only nine o’clock, that’s six straight hours of singing. I am pretty sure I can handle it, but I know my voice will be strained by the end of the session.

  “Let’s see how it goes.” I give him a quick grin, and take the sheet music off the piano. I stand alongside the piano and watch as Ben’s expert fingers move across the keys. Out of the corner of my eye I notice how wavy his ponytail is.

  I wonder if he knows that he has great hair?

  He’s handsome in an ordinary kind of way, but definitely not my type; and I realize that I’m glad for that. Learning these songs would be even more difficult if I were face to face with an attractive musician for six hours.

  It’s ironic because Ben is exactly the kind of guy that I should be dating. He’s obviously passionate about music but he also seems to have his shit together, a rare combination. He’s clean cut and well dressed, though I prefer my guys to be a little rougher around the edges.

  Focus, Annie, focus.

  I turn back to the music, push all thoughts out of my head, and dedicate my entire being to learning Diesel’s songs.

  * * *

  “I think we should call it a day,” Ben says, stretching his neck from side to side and giving me an impressed look.

  “What? Already? You said we had until three.”

  I can’t believe we’re stopping already! Am I not doing well?

  Ben chuckles. “Yeah, I did! And it’s already two-thirty. We haven’t even stopped for lunch.”

  “It’s two-thirty!” I screech.

  I grab Ben’s hand, and turn his wrist towards me. Sure enough, it is two thirty-three. I cannot believe that we have been banging out music for five and a half hours.

  “You’re a machine,” Ben says, raising his eyebrows and grinning.

  I can’t help but blush a little.

  “Thanks. I guess I was just enjoying myself so much that I lost track of time. I still can’t believe it’s that late already.”

  We had gotten through all the songs but three. Some were pretty rough, but I have the notes down enough to go home and work on it myself.

  “I’m going to call Dominic as soon as we leave here and tell him what a great girl he found,” Ben enthused, “I’ve never seen someone work like you. And your voice is incredible.” He pauses for a moment as his eyes rake over me. “You should be doing more than backup,” he says softly.

  I am flattered by Ben’s compliment, but I also feel a little self-conscious. The way he just checked me out definitely felt more than friendly, and this is supposed to be strictly business.

  “Thanks, Ben. You’ve been really helpful,” I say, hoping he doesn’t read into my words.

  “Same time, same place tomorrow?”

  I nod. We have one more day before I head over to rehearsals with the band and the other two backup singers. It’s more than nerve-wracking, so I try not to think about it.

  “Let me walk you out,” Ben says.

  I quickly cut him off, “Not necessary! I can manage. See you tomorrow!” I hurry out of the room before he tries to follow me.

  The elevator moves swiftly down to the lobby and I make my way out of the building and back to my car. The weather is much more tolerable today, and I’m glad that the heat wave is behind us. As I get into my car, I decide that I should call my mother to share my good news and to gently tell her that I won’t be moving to New York any time soon.

  As I pull onto the freeway, I adjust my earpiece and hit the speed dial for my mom. She answers on the first ring.

  “Annie, sweetheart! I’m so happy to hear from you again so soon!”

  Yikes. She sounds way too ecstatic to hear from me. I’m going to have to get this over with right away.

  “Hi, Mom. I wanted to call you because I have some really big news.”

  “You do?” Her voice raises three octaves. “Did you book a flight?”

  I wince. “No, actually, I got offered a job last night.”

  I can literally hear my mother deflate.

  “Oh. Wow. That’s great, Annie. Really great.” She’s trying hard to be happy for me, but I can hear the sadness behind her words. I know she was desperately looking forward to seeing me.

  “But,” I say cheerful
ly, “It’s a really great gig, a huge job, and a wonderful career opportunity. I’m going to be on tour with Diesel, and they are like, the biggest rock band in the world right now!” I rush on. “And we are going to play two nights at Madison Square Garden and I want to spend as much time with you and Sheldon as I can while we’re in town.”

  “Two nights? Well, that certainly will be nice.” She sounds a little happier, but not completely convinced.

  I let out a loud breath. “Look, I’m really sorry, Mom. I know that I haven’t been the best daughter lately, and I know I have done a really crappy job of keeping in touch with you. I really was looking forward to coming out there to visit you, and I know you were excited too.”

  “Annie, it’s okay-”

  “Let me finish, Mom. This tour is a really big deal and I need the work. Once the tour is over, I want to come out and spend a couple of weeks with you and Sheldon.”

  I wait, hoping that I have made my mother feel better. I meant what I said; I would like to visit her once the tour with Diesel ends.

  “Annie, I would love that. And I’m happy for you, honey. You deserve this tour, and I can’t wait to see you when you come through town.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

  “I love you, too. Call me again soon and let me know before you go on the road.”

  “I will, Mom.”

  “Love you, Annie.”

  I hang up the phone and spend the rest of the drive humming Diesel’s music to myself.

  I pull up to my apartment building and it’s not until I get out of the car that I notice the figure leaning against the wall.

  I already know that tall, muscular body and dark hair. The dark sunglasses don’t do much to hide his handsome face. I feel my heart sputter and I swallow hard.

  Holy crap, Dom Dresden is at my apartment.

  I stumble along my sidewalk in disbelief and make my way toward him.

  He pulls his aviator shades down his nose just enough to reveal his smoldering green eyes. This man is too damn sexy for his own good.

  “Look at you,” he drawls, “You look a little more like a rocker today.”

  I’m not sure how to respond so I shoot back.

  “What are you doing here?” I demand.