Shiver the Whole Night Through

by Darragh McManus

  She held my gaze, held it, held it, a wistful look in her eyes. Finally, after about a thousand years of nervous agony, she broke the stare and answered quietly: ‘Yes. Happy now?’

  Relief flooded my system like a wash of chemicals, precise, targeted. I was giddy, almost euphoric. I think I knew then what heroin must feel like. ‘You mean that? Truly and honestly?’

  ‘Yes.’

  I smiled widely. ‘Well, shit, yeah. Then I’m happy. Course I am.’

  She smiled wryly. ‘Me too.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes. Jesus, Aidan, yes.’

  She laughed heartily. There was my old Sláine, returned to me. I gulped and glanced away to hide the strength of my emotions.

  I said, ‘Uh, okay. So back to the “where you went” bit. Where, why, the whole deal. I thought you were dead. Like, dead dead.’

  Sláine stepped in the cone of moonlight shining into the cave. ‘“Why” is easy: I had to. So you can put those fears to rest, Aidan.’ She smiled warmly. ‘I didn’t abandon you, or reject you. I wouldn’t do that. I couldn’t. You’re … ’ She paused, then gently thumped her chest. ‘You’re in here now. For good.’

  That wash of placid euphoria again. Sláine was still mine. And she’d said she always would be.

  ‘Cool,’ I said dumbly. ‘I mean great. I feel like that too.’

  ‘I left … because something happened, and it made me afraid. Not for me – afraid of me.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I did something and … I was frightened where it might lead. What I might do next.’ Sláine broke off, stared hard at the ground. I was itching to know what that was but didn’t want to force it.

  ‘I had to leave you,’ she said. ‘Go away for a while. Be on my own. I’m sorry. This is hard.’

  I shushed her, saying gently, ‘It’s all right. When you’re ready. Do you want to tell me at least where you got to?’

  ‘Somewhere around,’ she answered vaguely. ‘I basically hid out. Walked into the desert like some wild-eyed mystic, looking for the face of God … I found an isolated space not far from here and sat on the ground, arms around my knees, eyes closed, breathing as slowly as I could. Trying to calm myself. To get beyond myself, like the Buddhist thing? Subdue the ego, destroy all desire … I hunkered down into myself and – waited. For the feeling to pass. The desire. The danger.’

  ‘So,’ I said cagily, ‘you don’t think you’re … dangerous now?’

  She shook her head. ‘No. But he is. Aidan, listen. It’s not just you – everyone is in danger now. A great menace is coming. That’s the second part of where I was. After four days of isolation, regaining control of myself, I came back. I returned to the forest last night, our lodge. I thought maybe you’d be there.’ She smiled. ‘Silly, I know. To expect you’d wait for my return.’

  ‘I did wait.’

  ‘I know.’

  We smiled at each other. She said, ‘Someone had been in the lodge. I recognised it, that presence again. But different to before. More … concrete now. It had shape and personality. I could feel it reverberating off the walls. I said to myself, this is it. This is what killed you, Sláine. I knew it in the deepest part of me.’

  ‘“It” being a demon.’ I winced, it sounded so absurd. ‘God, I can’t believe I’m saying this. Devil, demigod, whatever. I’m right, aren’t I?’

  Sláine nodded. ‘The demon – and man. Both had been in our lodge.’

  I went on, ‘And you say it’s not William John McAuley who’s behind it. The one who’s raised this thing.’

  ‘No. You’re not totally off the mark, though. My ancestor has a part to play.’

  ‘How do you know who it really is?’

  ‘He wanted me to know. He gave me this.’ Sláine lifted her hand and showed me her ring, the one with the strange design. She pulled it off. ‘That man placed this on my finger after I died. I never took it off until last night. I knew it wasn’t mine – someone had put it there. I wanted to remove it, examine it – I simply couldn’t. It wouldn’t budge.’

  ‘Why didn’t you say something before?’

  ‘What would’ve been the point? If I couldn’t get it off, no disrespect but you wouldn’t have been able, either.’

  ‘Eh … yeah. Fair enough.’

  ‘And I didn’t want to worry you,’ Sláine said. ‘I guess I assumed it’d be explained eventually. You know, take the philosophical view, accept the way things were. And it was explained: last night I looked down and for some reason knew it would move now. It came off my finger smoothly. Want to know what the inscription inside the band reads?’

  I groaned. ‘Not … really?’

  ‘“To my beloved Eleanor. Bound forever, beyond the cold shores of death. From your devoted husband, William John. Winter 1851.” I think he inscribed this ring after she left him, and kept it somewhere. As a sort of pledge to her, that they’d be together again.’

  ‘Why didn’t he just go with her? Instead of all this eejiting around with rings and pledges, crappy poetry.’

  ‘Maybe he thought the trek over the mountains was doomed, so it was better at least one of them survived, stayed behind to … ’

  ‘To do what he did. Conjure up a demon.’

  ‘No. That’s the part you got wrong. William John tried to do that – but failed. Too weak, probably. Starvation, exhaustion, the man would’ve been half-dead by the time he went to Shook Woods. He left it too late. Should have done it weeks before – probably wanted Eleanor out of the way first.’ She smiled wanly. ‘Trying to protect her, I suppose. That’s something.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I rasped. ‘A pretty small goddamn something. Go on. McAuley failed. Whereas … ’

  ‘Whereas this guy – our villain, let’s call him – did a little better. For him, the ceremony worked.’

  It was all becoming too real. Mad imaginings and theories were one thing. Even though I knew deep in my gut that they were essentially true, I didn’t know. I had no hard evidence. Now, though, Sláine was handing me that evidence on a platter. I felt dizzy. I was afraid I’d fall off that bloody cliff edge.

  Block out reality. You’re still a kid. None of this is happening.

  ‘He wanted me to know all this,’ Sláine said. ‘Not at the beginning, not until now. That’s why the ring wouldn’t shift before. He’s happy for me to know now, which suggests one thing: whatever his plan is, we’re coming near to the end.’

  A hellish blast of wind whipped up around us. I separated from her and stepped further back into the cave, as far as I could go, which wasn’t far. I could still see the cliff, and imagined the terrifying drop off that edge. Definitely not a jump you want to make, Aidan. They’d be scraping you off the rocks with a trowel. I sat, my bum bumping hard on the glassy floor with the groovy subterranean crystal lights.

  I said quietly, ‘But how d’you know this stuff? That McAuley messed up, and now someone else is driving the bus.’

  ‘He came to me.’

  I snapped to attention.

  ‘Last night, after I left the lodge. I went to our other place – the Greek amphitheatre, as you call it. Waiting, not waiting, I don’t know. I might have had a sixth sense he would show up … ’

  ‘So who is he?’

  ‘That’s the problem,’ Sláine said regretfully. ‘I don’t know. I’m certain it wasn’t William John, but who this guy is … ? He didn’t tell me. I mean, he didn’t exactly walk in there either. More … drifted over to me. His spirit, his thoughts, something.’

  ‘You felt a presence.’

  ‘Yes, but different to when I died. I told you I felt this great wash of coldness that night, joining me to it. But something organic, as if it possessed a mind. That time, the thing – the demon – was more to the forefront, if you know what I mean? It accosted me, with someone, a living man, directing it from the distance. Whereas last night … ’

  ‘Our boy was riding the horse.’

  She nodded. ‘Pretty much. The d
emon’s spirit was there too, somewhere. Hanging in the air like a bad smell. But the man felt much more obvious to me. As though he was out front, and the demon tailing behind him.’

  I tutted in fear and disgust. ‘Like a goddamn dog on a lead. Lovely image. So what’d this asshole say? Say, communicate, beam out brainwaves, whatever.’

  ‘He told me everything except who he was. He’s using this supernatural being to kill people, you got that right.’

  Realising my ass was in danger of sticking to the ground, I stood. ‘I knew it. Didn’t I say I knew it?’

  ‘Our villain came across William John’s writings,’ Sláine said. ‘I’m not sure where – it doesn’t really matter. My ancestor had kept extensive diaries all his life, written hundreds of letters, even several books although they were never published. Wrote them for himself, I’d imagine. A lot is harmless nonsense, the ravings of a borderline lunatic really. But in the midst of all this ráiméis … ’

  ‘Granddad left instructions.’

  ‘He did. Precise directions on how to conjure up demonic forces. This other man found McAuley’s work, studied him … followed the path until it led to Shook Woods. The forest is the key. It’s beautiful – but there’s something menacing about it at the same time. Something truly dangerous. Its heart is dark in more ways than one.’

  I didn’t want to believe that; I’d got quite used to hanging out in Shook, my eerie home from home. I said, ‘So now this creep controls the demon’s power.’

  ‘Or maybe it controls him to some extent. Or they’re in some symbiotic relationship, where each needs the other equally. I’m not clear on the specifics.’ Sláine frowned. ‘I guess, in a way, he has become this devil. It’s become him. They’re bound together in cold and death. Whichever – that’s what he’s done.’

  Something clicked on in my mind, some dread I didn’t want to recognise. ‘Oh my God. Uh … Are you … one too? Now. Are you … ?’ My voice had receded to a hoarse croak: ‘A demon.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘You’re not … involved in any way? With all this death.’ I laughed nervously. The timeline of these cold killings, it struck me, dovetailed to some degree with Sláine’s disappearance.

  ‘Of course not. None of those attacks had anything to do with me.’

  I didn’t think much of this at that moment, the words just flowing in my ear and out again. In hindsight, though, I should have clocked it, the significance of that word …

  Anyway, the thought didn’t have time to lodge itself in my mind because Sláine was still speaking: she said dryly, ‘You know, most people would have asked that question first. About me being a demon?’

  ‘Yeah, well … ’ I shrugged. ‘I’m not most people.’

  ‘No. You’re one of a kind, Aidan Flood.’

  I bowed. ‘I thank you. So are there others? People who’ve risen from the dead.’

  ‘You met one tonight.’

  ‘Nah, you know what I mean. People who’re – the way you are. Thinking, feeling. Powerful. Improved.’

  ‘Like me? I don’t think so.’

  ‘You haven’t met any, then? Weren’t tearing around with a big gang of beautiful angels all week?’

  This time Sláine bowed. ‘No. I told you – I was alone.’

  ‘Until last night. When our mystery man shows up, still wearing his mask though cos that makes it more exciting I guess, and gives you the full skinny on his evil doings.’

  ‘Essentially.’

  ‘Go on, then. Might as well have the whole of it. Before I run shrieking from this mountain top.’

  ‘He told me what he does, and why he does it.’

  ‘Do I want to know why?’

  ‘Why else? Immortality.’

  Sláine ghosted over and placed her arm around me. I fixed my vision on that ring on her finger, its long oval shape, the raised image suggesting some type of crystal.

  She said, ‘He extends his life by consuming the lives of others. It’s as simple and horrible as that. This man is deranged, driven crazy by lust for power and an absolute refusal to admit that death is … Natural. Necessary. Life has no meaning without death at the end. Everything must end, that’s how it has to be. But he can’t see that, or won’t. He wants to live forever, and he’s prepared to kill for that.’

  ‘So he drew people out of their homes and took their lives. Like he did with you.’

  ‘Yes. Some form of telepathy. Thought transference. He kind of … squirms in there, you know? Into people’s minds. Hypnotises them to leave the sanctuary of their homes. I don’t think he has the power to enter buildings any more than me.’

  ‘What happens to them? Afterwards.’

  ‘Most of the victims perish,’ Sláine said. ‘Just gone forever. Whatever was in them, their soul or spirit, it’s devoured by him. The body is left behind, a husk.’

  ‘What about that yoke who attacked me tonight? She looked pretty full of bloody spirit.’

  ‘I’m not sure. He seems to be keeping a few … animated. But only partly. They’re like zombies, unthinking, half-dead. His slaves. I guess everyone in power needs someone to hold it over.’

  I nodded slowly. ‘Okay, so again: where do you fit in? You’re still here, your soul I mean. And you’re definitely nobody’s slave.’

  ‘He obviously has other plans for me. Don’t know exactly what yet. Although I’m thinking, why me? Why did I turn out like this, but not the others?’

  ‘That’s what I was gonna say … ask. What makes you different?’

  ‘I don’t know. All we can be sure of is that this man, and his demonic ally, will keep killing unless they’re stopped.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I drawled. ‘Stopping them. That’s the part I don’t like the sound of.’

  She stepped to the edge of the cliff. For an instant I feared she was about to leap off it, swan-dive to some romantic and absurd doom. Then I realised that wouldn’t kill her, not in a million years. And Sláine wasn’t the romantic-doom type anyway.

  I called over, ‘How’d this conversation end? Your little chat with Demon Boy.’ I checked myself: ‘little chat’? What was that supposed to mean? I was acting like a jealous idiot boyfriend, and I wasn’t even sure if I was her boyfriend. I moaned softly. Oh, Aidan Flood, what a life this is you’ve got.

  Sláine grimaced, her teeth bared a fraction, and I could have sworn the ‘lights’ inside those crystals underneath my feet pulsed to a brighter shine. She said with a tight voice, ‘He told me to be ready – he’d be coming back for me soon.’

  I squeezed my eyes shut, the old child’s trick: if you can’t see it, it’s not really happening. I squeaked, ‘Great,’ my words the echo of an echo from some distant part of my heart, unknown, it seemed, even to myself.

  Deepest Desire

  I thought the worst of it might be over, for now at least. The howling winds tore strips off my skin and the sky seemed to slide into ever-deeper shades of black and I was tired and shivering and, I belatedly realised, very hungry – when had I last eaten? But still, I can handle it, I told myself. We’ll talk it through and get some rest and Sláine will work out a brilliant plan to defeat the bastard and we’ll be okay. If that’s as bad as this night is going to get, I can deal with it. We will be okay.

  Unfortunately, that wasn’t as bad as it was going to get.

  I rolled another smoke and said, to occupy my mind and blot out the horror of all I’d learned, ‘Man. This is … just beyond the beyond, you know? I wish it wasn’t true. I really wish you’d’ve told me I was dreaming. But I’m not, am I? It’s all real.’

  ‘It’s all real.’

  ‘Don’t know why I’m surprised. I mean it’s inexplicable, people dying of the cold. Nobody could understand it, the Guards, no one. But I knew it had to be connected to you, what happened to you.’ I laughed wryly. ‘If only we could figure out those other attacks we’d be on the pig’s back. Solve two mysteries at once, then off for a celebratory garlic chips. Bing-bang, job done, thank you
and goodnight.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Sláine said hazily. ‘That … ’

  ‘Me and Podsy reckoned most of ’em were just some wild animal. It was awful, but I guess things like that are sort of normal, you know?’ I laughed again. ‘At least it wasn’t anything to do with you. God, that’d be too much to take in! What a head-wreck!’

  I chuckled some more, then stopped because I noticed that Sláine wasn’t laughing along. Something made my throat tighten and my stomach start to wobble. I told them, stop doing that, there’s no reason to do that because I’m only talking about wild animals and attacks and Sláine and …

  And the fact that they all came back to you, Aidan, remember? There was a link that you couldn’t make sense of, and other incidents too – freaky ones which couldn’t be explained by science or logic – that Podsy didn’t know also connected to me but I knew. A beautiful angel hovering four flights up. A girl driven mad by whispers inside her head.

  And then my world sort of crashed in on itself as Sláine gave a lopsided smile and said, ‘Actually … it kind of is.’

  Time slowed, not quite to a stop but near enough and time didn’t matter anyway because I was dissolving into molecules. I was drifting apart into long strings of nothingness under the gargantuan, unpreventable force of this thing I was about to find out but deep down knew that I already knew.

  Chills along my spine, dryness in my mouth, pressure mounting behind my eyeballs like a tsunami rushing in to break on land. I knew what was coming but didn’t want to hear the words. I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I couldn’t. Still the dreaded moment hurtled towards us, it didn’t care how I felt. This was almost worse than discovering the truth about that bloody demon and the lunatic who’d raised it. This was like watching a lorry spin out of control, you knew what was about to happen, you’d already seen it, and you wanted to stop it but the sick feeling in the depths of your stomach told you there was zero chance of that.

  Too late. No escape.

  I forced myself to say it: ‘What exactly do you mean by that, Sláine?’