by E. M. Leya
"Ice cream sounds good." Xander crushed out his cigarette before standing. "You found my weakness, next to coffee of course."
"Ah, yes, coffee is a must." Matt stepped inside, leaving Xander to close the door when he followed him in. "Hope vanilla is okay. Trish, my sister, brought it over. I usually go for something a bit more exciting."
"Vanilla is fine." Xander leaned against the counter.
Matt pulled the ice cream out and started to scoop two bowls. "So, did I hear Dyson say you two are getting new tattoos?"
"Yeah, we'll go in this week. I'll just get this space finished." Xander pointed to a spot on his arm. "You got any?"
"Nope, almost got one in college, but I chickened out. Kind of glad I did. I was going to get a name on my chest."
"Names are never a good thing." Xander grinned.
"I know that now. Glad I didn't. Not sure Jill would have been happy with another person's name on my body. I would have ended up having to get it covered up." Matt slid one of the bowls over to Xander. "Have a seat." He nodded to the kitchen table before he put the ice cream back in the freezer. He grabbed his own bowl and joined Xander. "Are you completely covered?"
"Close on top, my legs have a lot of space left, but I have plans for them too."
"Doesn't hurt?"
"Not like you would think. There are some spots more sensitive than others, but nothing you couldn't handle. Want to come with us?"
"No, now is hardly—" He paused as Xander's phone dinged with a message.
Xander picked it up and read it, a smile forming as he glanced at Matt. "It says they are on their way home. The sting took longer than usual. The guy had bags packed ready to run."
"He was going to run that fast?"
"He had to know someone would come after him. The family, someone like us, or just someone who knew about the case. Hurting a child is unforgivable. Even in prison, there are two things that are unforgivable, child and animal abuse. No one takes those lightly."
"So now they'll treat him at the hospital and he'll go home? Is that really fair?"
"He'll go home less a man than he was before." Xander grinned. "Honestly, it wouldn't shock me if Bryon and Carter had them plant stuff for the cops to find. Stuff that will keep this fucker locked up. Even if he goes home, I'm sure someone will still try and kill him. I can't imagine the child's father will rest until the scumbag is dead."
"You can't blame him." Matt closed his eyes, imagining what he would do if he found someone had hurt Faith that way. His stomach turned at the thought because it was a very real possibility that someone was hurting her. He pushed his ice cream back with a sigh.
"No, you can't blame a father for wanting to take out anyone who hurts his daughter, but you also don't want them to give up their life and spend the rest of it in prison. If we can do the work and maybe keep someone who hasn't already tarnished their soul from doing so, then we will."
Matt looked up. "Is your soul tarnished?"
"It was tarnished long before I joined the team. The Army, my past before that, the years right after I came back home, none of it's been a fairy tale."
Matt's heart ached hearing that. "That isn't good. You have no good memories?"
"Oh, I have plenty of good moments in my life. It's mixed with bad, but I've done a lot of things in my past. I'm not going to lie to you and play innocent. What I do with the team is only part of who I have been. It's the part I am now, and honestly, it's probably the best part of who I've been. I'm able to look at myself in a mirror now and not hate the person staring back."
"That's a good thing then." He wanted to ask why he hadn't been happy with himself before, but he doubted Xander would tell him.
"Thanks for the ice cream. It was good." Xander stood and took his bowl to the sink, rinsing it before setting it on the counter.
"Are you okay now that you got the text?"
Xander leaned against the counter. "Better, but still pissed Bryon didn't let me go. I'll get over it. I'm going to head home and go for a long run. It will help clear my head."
"At this time of night?" He looked up, seeing it was after midnight already.
"It's the best time. It's quiet out and I can think." Xander gripped his beard. "I guess I should go and let you get some sleep. Thanks for letting me come over tonight."
"It was nice to have company for a change." Matt hadn't realized how much he missed just being able to sit down and talk about simple things and not dwell on Faith all the time.
"We'll have to do it again." Xander pulled a card from his pocket. "Here's my number. If you get bored or just need to talk, call me. We can hit the gym, drink more beer in the backyard or do whatever. I'm sure I'll see you around the team house too." He slid the card onto the table in front of Matt.
"Thanks, I really appreciate that. I seriously might take you up on that. I'm not sure what I'll do with my time now that I can't do much online here."
"You'll find stuff, but I don't mind you calling." Xander rubbed his hands down his tattooed arms. "You going to be okay?"
"Yeah, just another long night wondering where my daughter is. I'm used to them."
"I wish I could help."
"You are, and the team is too. It helps give me more hope and other things to focus on. I like knowing that everyone will be digging for information on her now, not just me."
"We will, and we won't stop," Xander told him. "I'm going to head out, but promise you'll call if you need anything."
"I will." Matt stood, walking Xander to the door. "Thanks again."
"You were the one helping me tonight." Xander stepped outside. "See you soon."
Matt nodded as he watched Xander turn and run down the front steps to his car. He didn't wait to watch him go. He shut the door and locked it, setting the alarm before heading to the living room. He might as well get started deleting everything off his computer. The last thing he wanted was to put the team at risk. Tomorrow, he'd head over to the team house and start his search again from there.
CHAPTER TWELVE
"What the fuck?" Xander swatted Dyson's arm away after he'd smacked his arm, right where he'd gotten the tattoo done two days before. "You know yours is going to hurt worse than mine." He went to grab Dyson, so he could hit the back of his shoulder.
The two wrestled around the living room for a few minutes before pulling back laughing. "It doesn't even hurt now." Dyson rolled his eyes.
After five days of no work, the two of them were getting restless. It wasn't the longest stretch they'd gone without a job, but without any other way to really help the team, Xander got bored easily. There was only so much he could do around the house, and hanging out at the team house was boring after they'd gone into the basement and played hours of video games day after day.
Bryon, Carter, Trenton, and Matt had all but locked themselves in the geek cave, working on trying to find leads on Faith, and searching out more child trafficking rings for them to take down. The lull in work was killing him. It was the one time he wished he had more computer skills, so he could at least do something.
Kasey had flown to Vegas with some of his friends, so that left Xander and Dyson looking for anything to do.
"Did I tell you I showed up at the team house early the other morning and caught Becca making breakfast for Bryon?"
Xander raised a brow. "Do you think he finally told her?"
"I was wondering if we've been the blind ones and something's been going on for a while between them and they were hiding it from us." Dyson shrugged. "They looked too comfortable, and a bit too guilty at being caught together so early in the morning."
"Hmm, could be. Wouldn't surprise me. The tension between those two has been bad for a year now. It was just a matter of time before something happened." Xander reached for his pack of cigarettes on the coffee table. "If they finally hooked up, I'm happy for them. They both needed to get laid."
"There is more to life than sex, you know?"
"There is?" Xander feigned shock.
&
nbsp; "Maybe it's you who needs to get laid," Dyson teased.
"You're not kidding. It's been months. Maybe we should hit the club tonight."
"Can I bring a date?"
Xander sighed. "You have a date?"
"Yeah, but he'll be good going to the club if you want to go find someone to play with."
"Play with? I want to fuck them, not pull out my Lego set." Xander laughed.
He sighed. Not even the thought of picking someone up at the bar appealed to him. He was in a rut, and nothing was pulling him out of it. "Go on your date, I'll be fine. I'll binge watch something or other and try not to think about how you're getting lucky and I'm not."
"Jealous? I can ask if he's got any friends."
"And they would all want relationships. You know that's not me. I want twenty minutes and a fake name."
"Then you need to get on Grindr." Dyson laughed.
"Fuck, and risk having Bryon find my profile? No thanks." Grindr was sadly one of the main apps that pedophiles used to pick up young boys. It was amazing how the online and digital world held so much less appeal now that he knew how much bad came from so many of the social media sites. If he ever had kids, he wasn't letting them near a phone or a computer until they were thirty.
"You sure you don't want to go out? It's really okay. We didn't have solid plans. He just wanted to hang out."
"Nah, I'm good. You go have fun. I'll be fine. I'll work on the fire pit out back and just be lazy."
Dyson stood. "Alright, but call if you change your mind. I hate to see you waste a Friday night."
"Won't be the first time." Xander tossed his feet up on the couch where Dyson had been sitting. "Give me a call tomorrow."
"I will." Dyson waved as he took off out the door.
Xander reached for the remote, looking for a movie or something to watch. It was only two in the afternoon, which meant he had a very long and quiet night ahead of him.
He was almost asleep when the sound of his cell phone echoed from the table across the room. Forcing himself up, he nearly tripped over the shoes he'd left beside the couch as he tried to reach his phone before it went to a message.
"Hello?"
"Xan, it's Matt."
"Hey, what's up?" He hadn't said more than hello to him in passing since the night they'd had a beer at his house.
"I was wondering if you're busy." Matt's voice cracked, and he sounded upset.
Xander was paying full attention now. "I'm not doing anything. What's wrong?" He prayed it wasn't bad news about Faith.
"I just got a call from the detective working on Faith's case. They found a body, but it wasn't Faith, but there was a bunch of girls' clothing with it. Some of it matches the description of what Faith was wearing. They want me to come down and look at photos. I really don't want to go alone, but I don't want to make my sister go through this with me. Do you think you could go?"
"Of course, I'm on my way right now. I'll pick you up in ten minutes." There was no way he'd make Matt go through this alone.
"I can meet you there." Matt sounded nervous.
"No, you don't need to be driving right now. You're on my way. It's nothing to pick you up. I'll be there soon."
"Thanks."
"No problem." Xander was already slipping on his shoes. "Matt, don't assume anything okay? Don't let your mind get ahead of the facts."
"I'm trying not to."
"Do you want me to stay on the phone while I drive?" He would do whatever he needed to, so he could help keep Matt calm.
"No, I need to change clothes. I'll be ready by the time you get here. Thanks, Xan."
"Again, not a problem. See you in ten." He hung up the phone, making sure he had his wallet and his keys before rushing out the door. His heart pounded as he thought about what this all might mean. He wasn't sure what would happen if Matt got bad news. If there was a body along with other children's clothing, it could mean anything. Thank God, the body wasn't hers. That was a call he wouldn't wish on any parent.
He tried not to think the worst as he made his way to Matt's.
He wasn't shocked that the moment he pulled into the driveway, Matt was out the door and locking the house.
Xander didn't bother to get out, instead waiting for Matt to come to him.
"Hey, thanks for this." Matt took a deep breath as he reached for his seatbelt. "I'm not sure I could do it alone. I called Jason, but he didn't answer."
"I don't mind a bit. I'm glad you called. You shouldn't have to do this alone." Xander pulled back out of the driveway. "What did the detective say?"
Matt pressed his lips together as if he didn't want to say, but finally glanced over at Xander. "They found a boy's body. Nine years old. Buried with it was a pile of girls' clothing. He said there was at least twenty items. I didn't have pictures of what Faith was wearing, but they could sort of see it from the grainy images from the school's surveillance cameras when she walked out that day. He said there was a yellow shirt that could match hers, but they can't be sure, and four hair ribbons. Faith loved ribbons and had one in her hair that day." Matt pinched the bridge of his nose, but didn't stop a few tears from falling. "I'm not sure I can do this. What if it's her stuff? What if she's the next body they find?" His shoulders shook as he covered his face with his hands.
"You take this one step at a time. You don't worry about what you are going to do. You worry about walking in there and finding out the facts before you jump to conclusions."
Matt shook his head. "Those clothes belong to other girls. How many other parents just got the same call I did?"
"Matt, you know as well as I do how many children are out there. This isn't going to be easy for anyone."
"I'll die if she's not alive. I can't live without her."
As much as Xander was sure that it was just a father's pain speaking and Matt wouldn't really take his own life, it still was enough of a warning that if any of the stuff ended up being Faith's, they couldn't leave Matt alone. There was no telling what would happen if Faith was found dead or even if something hinted that she might be.
As hard as he tried to keep Matt positive, the truth was, the chances of finding Faith alive grew less and less every day. Girls her age were either sold into slavery outside the country or killed soon after being taken. They'd be lucky to ever find her. He would never tell Matt that, but he was pretty sure he already knew. Xander didn't blame him for not wanting to admit it out loud.
"One step at a time. You don't know anything yet. Try and stay positive." Xander didn't think twice about reaching over and resting a hand on Matt's thigh. "You're not alone. No matter what, we are all here with you."
Matt nodded, but didn't say anything.
"I'm headed to the police station?"
"Yeah, sorry. The one just down on Carson Ave.." Matt stared out the window. "The last time I was there was the day she went missing."
Xander didn't know what to say, and that didn't happen often. He wanted to comfort Matt, but he wasn't going to fill him with lies by saying everything was going to be okay when he wasn't sure it was. What was he supposed to say to someone who might find out their child was probably dead in just a few minutes? He gave Matt's thigh a gentle squeeze, surprised when Matt's hand covered his and linked their fingers.
Xander didn't react, but he wanted to. He wanted to glance over and look at Matt, try and understand why he would hold his hand. That wasn't something a straight man did, even when he was scared and grieving. It was totally unexpected, and even more shocking to Xander, is how right it felt. It wasn't something he could think about right now. There were bigger issues.
As they pulled into the police station parking lot, Matt released his hand. "Thanks, you don't have to come in if you don't want."
"Bullshit. I'm not letting you go in alone. You need someone with you." Xander got out of the car and came around to the passenger door as Matt climbed out. "We'll do this together, okay? You don't have to face any of it alone. No matter what happens, I'm here, a
nd the rest of the team is just a phone call away." He was sure the whole team would show up if Matt needed them.
"I'm so scared." Matt looked across the lot at the large building.
"I know, but not knowing would be worse." He put his arm around Matt, hoping it wasn't too much, and led him to the police station.
Once inside, he stepped aside and let Matt go up to the desk and talk to the woman sitting behind it.
Almost instantly, a man in a suit walked out, first smiling at Matt before turning to Xander and narrowing his eyes as he took in his tattoos and rough look.
"This is Xander. He was nice enough to come down with me. This is Detective Michaels." Matt gripped Xander's shoulder. "I didn't think I could do this alone."
Xander offered his hand. "Nice to meet you." He was used to cops looking at him as if he belonged in a jail cell. If they only knew how close to the truth that was. He turned his attention from the detective and back to the only thing that mattered, Matt.
"We have a room set up if you'll follow me." The detective led them into the back to a simple questioning room.
There were two chairs on either side, and Xander slipped onto the one next to Matt, placing his hand back on his thigh to help support him.
Matt fisted his hands on the table. "What do I need to do?"
"Just look through the pictures and tell us if anything belongs to Faith. Take your time. I know how hard this must be." The detective sat down across from them, placing a stack of photographs upside down in front of Matt.
Xander had seen this done before when a family member had to identify a body. It wasn't like they do it in the movies. There was no walking into the morgue and having a sheet pulled back. It was simply photographs placed upside down for the family to look at.
Matt stared at the pile of pictures for several moments before he glanced at Xander, then back at the detective. "What does it mean if they are hers?"
"It means the cases are connected, nothing more than that," the detective said softly.
"I don't know if I can do this." Matt sat back as if trying to distance himself from the photos.
"You have to know. The not knowing will eat at you." Xander gave Matt's thigh a squeeze. "If you walk out of here without looking, you'll spend the rest of the day and night hating yourself for not looking, for not knowing."