Crimson Dawn

by Fleur McDonald

  She walked into the kitchen, took a bottle of wine out of the fridge and poured herself a glass. This was a repeat every night. Then, in her office, she checked the answering machine and leafed through the mail she’d collected earlier in the day. Nothing needed her immediate attention. And there was certainly nothing from Meghan.

  She checked her emails. Just the usual industry weekly reports and stock market updates.

  She tapped the office desk with her finger and sipped at her wine. Outside she could hear Tegan and Robyn laughing as they piled into Tegan’s dual-cab to head to the pub for the evening.

  ‘I’ll see you in there,’ Allie called as the ute took off in a cloud of dust.

  The lone voice made Laura look out and she saw a dejected look on her student’s face.

  ‘Odd,’ she thought. ‘They always travel together.’

  Absentmindedly, her hand strayed to pat Dash, who would once have been at her feet. She found the spot empty, as it had been since last year. He’d been bitten by a snake while helping her muster. It amazed her that she still forgot sometimes. She sighed again, then let her head drop to the desk and listened to the fading sounds of day: the ute disappearing down the driveway, a magpie calling from a tree. The frogs were beginning their nightly serenade, along with the crickets. Somewhere in the distance a sheep bleated.

  It was dark by the time she got up from her chair. She switched on the lights and decided to make a fire. Even though it was warming up during the day now, the nights still held a chill that a fire would fix.

  She went outside to gather pinecones and some small branches. When she had enough, she expertly laid them in the hearth of the tile fire. Placing larger logs on top, she unscrewed the lid of the diesel container and tossed a bit of the lighting fluid in. She struck a match and put it to the liquid, then sat back on her knees to watch the flare of orange light. It cast an eerie glow over the dim lounge room. After a moment or two and, satisfied the fire was going to take, she moved to get up but, instead, she settled into a more comfortable sitting position. She wanted to watch the flames a little longer.

  She sipped her wine, watching the pinecones glowing and fizzing as the small flames licked around the edges of the kindling and larger logs. There were so many things a fire could be, she thought. They could be frightening when out of control on a summer’s day. But they could be romantic too, as they’d been many times for her and Josh. She remembered the bonfire they’d had in the back paddock of Nambina for his birthday. It was on their common boundary and they’d met down there, laughingly calling it a secret rendezvous, even though their families knew what they were doing. It had been just her and Josh, a swag, a bottle of red, and the fire.

  Fires could be warming and comforting—they seemed to hold a truth serum, creating an atmosphere where secrets came to light and, sometimes, hard questions were asked.

  ‘Enough of that,’ she said out loud. She got to her feet and went back into the kitchen. As she rummaged through the fridge to find something to cook, she heard the sound of an engine outside.

  It was strange for the girls to be back so early. But then Laura remembered that Allie hadn’t left with the others and figured it was probably her. She continued her rummage, but jumped when the door banged open and Sean walked in.

  ‘Surprise!’ he said as he put two plastic bags down on the table and opened his arms.

  Laura knocked her head on the top of the fridge and gasped. Then her face lit up with delight. ‘Dad!’ She ran over and threw herself into his embrace. ‘What are you doing here? You didn’t ring! Are you staying? I haven’t got the spare room made up. Is Georgie with you?’

  ‘Whoa! What’s with all the questions?’ He let her go and stood back, looking at her with a cheerful expression. ‘No, Georgie isn’t with me. Yes, I’m staying, but I can make up my own bed, and I’ve forgotten what else you asked.’

  ‘What are you doing here?’ Laura asked, unable to keep the smile from her lips.

  ‘I didn’t know I needed an excuse to visit my oldest daughter! Surely not, especially when I bring Italian takeaway from her favourite restaurant in Adelaide!’

  ‘Oh, serious? Excellent! I was just wondering what I was going to have. Do you want a drink?’

  She walked over to the cupboard to get another wine glass.

  ‘I brought a red.’ He handed her the bottle so she could unscrew the lid and pour.

  ‘So, really, why are you here?’ Laura said after they’d toasted each other with a clink and sat down in the sunroom.

  Laura saw her father glance at Howie’s spot at the table, then through the doorway to his lounge chair near the fire. Neither of them ever sat in it.

  ‘It’s been too long, Laurs, that’s all,’ he said gently before taking a sip of wine. ‘Hmm, that’s good.’ He closed his eyes for a moment. Laura could see he was tired.

  ‘Things okay at the hospital?’ she asked cautiously. Sean never did start his own practice, as he’d planned. An adrenalin junky to the last, he’d stayed in Emergency at Royal Adelaide.

  ‘Yeah, fine. I’m on a five-days-on, four-day-off roster at the moment. It’s good. Suits Georgie too. She can spend the five days doing her pottery and hanging around the house. Lord knows, Poppy makes sure there’s enough for her to do washing-wise. Then we have the four days off together. It works well. And the break is enough time to get my energy back for the next round.’

  ‘But you left Georgie at home for these few days. How come? I’d love to see her,’ she said, shifting in her seat.

  ‘Yep. She’s been commissioned to make a couple of pieces of pottery for the Town Hall. Got a deadline of two months’ time, so she’s a bit under the pump. Plus it’s good, dad-and-daughter time, don’t you think?’

  Laura flashed him a grateful smile and took a gulp of wine. ‘Of course.’

  ‘What about you?’ Sean asked. ‘How are the students going? And Random?’

  ‘Oh! Random’s home,’ she answered, eyes lighting up. ‘Brought him home on Monday. That was about the only good thing that happened that day. He seems fine and Tim thinks I’ll still be able to breed from him, which is even better news. All four of the boys are together out in the paddock now, just waiting to be put to work.’

  She took a breath but Sean got in before her. ‘What happened on Monday?’

  She screwed up her face. ‘Allie forgot to put the tractor in park and it rolled back while I was putting a fence post into the thumper. Could have been nasty, but it wasn’t.’ She made light of it. The pain from the deep bruising had eased, and she didn’t want to worry him.

  ‘Shit.’ He leaned forward. ‘You okay, though?’

  Laura nodded. ‘Bit black and blue when I fell over, trying to get out of the way. Other than that, I’m fine.’

  ‘Did you give her a good talking-to?’

  ‘Poor Allie,’ Laura said, remembering the tears. ‘She was pretty shaken up, so I didn’t go too hard. Just enough to make sure she’ll never get out of a tractor and leave it in neutral again. Reckon she’ll probably end up sticking the handbrake on even when it’s only in the ute!’

  Sean sipped his wine thoughtfully.

  ‘Nicki called me on Skype the other day,’ Laura said after a few moments. ‘Doesn’t she sound so happy? She was calling from Paris. To be honest, I can’t believe she’s twenty-four and living in London! It’s doesn’t seem that long ago she was getting her licence and doing her year twelve exams.’

  Her father laughed. ‘Nicki’s the only one of my daughters I don’t have to worry about! Happy, satisfied, working hard and forever broke.’ He gave another chuckle. ‘It’s so difficult to find work as a professional singer, but I have to give it to her, she’s a trier. Won’t give up.’

  ‘Nicki was always going to be a singer, Dad. She’ll make it. I know she will.’

  ‘Totally agree with you,’ Sean said as he got up to stoke the fire. When he finished he walked over to Howie’s chair and rested his hands on its back. He w
as silent.

  ‘Do you think about him much?’ Laura finally asked, not looking at her father.

  ‘Mmm.’ He nodded. ‘I hear myself saying the things he did, when I’m talking to little kids coming through Emergency. His favourite, remember?’

  ‘Oh, you silly sausage! How did you do that?’ they chorused together, sharing a sad smile.

  ‘I sometimes think about when he died,’ Laura said, staring into the fire. ‘You know, the actual day. It gave me the creeps for a while. Now I think it was kinda nice I was there. Just the three of us, the way it was when I was a kid. Do you remember what Howie said about his family coming back and how we have to look after them?’

  Sean nodded.

  ‘Why did his brother leave?’

  Sean shook his head. ‘I know very little. He didn’t talk about his childhood much and when he did, only Mum got away with asking questions. I was under the impression it wasn’t always happy. After Mum died, I knew better than to ask. He only opened up one night after a few too many reds.’ He paused to take another sip of wine. ‘Got to admit, I have thought about them on occasions. If I’ve got any cousins out there I don’t know about.’

  ‘Weird, hey? To have a whole family we know nothing of.’

  ‘I doubt we’ve any relatives out there, Laurs. Given Thomas’s age when he disappeared, it’s likely he went to war and didn’t come home. I think that’s what Dad assumed happened. That night he spoke of him, Howie said he was sure Thomas couldn’t just disappear into the middle of Australia and never show up again. Or at least not run into someone who knew him. At the time, there was a huge push for volunteers to sign up. You’ve got to remember, a lot of those lads would have never had an opportunity to see the world, so that was how the government sold it to them. It was a chance that might never come again. Thomas was young and free.’ He raised his eyebrows as if to say, you see where I’m going?

  ‘But wouldn’t Papa and his father have been notified if he had been killed?’ For a moment, Laura considered telling Sean about Meghan’s threats. Then she decided against it. She was growing more and more certain that, after all this time, it really had been a hoax designed to scare her.

  ‘Only if he put them down as his next of kin. And if my assumption is right—that Thomas ran away—I doubt he would have. I got the impression he left because he didn’t get along with his father. But that’s only filling in the gaps, you know? My take on the story Howie told.’

  ‘That’s so sad. Fancy leaving home because you didn’t get along with your family. I couldn’t imagine that.’

  She got up from her chair and went to stand in front of the fire. ‘I was so lucky with my childhood, Dad. I couldn’t have had a better upbringing during those early years when it was just you, me and Papa. I never felt like I was missing a mum because you both made me feel so loved and secure.’ She shrugged. ‘So it’s just never bothered me that my mother didn’t want me. That you brought me home from that town in Queensland. I think it’s so sad that Thomas may not have had the same experience.’

  Sean was quiet for a moment. ‘That’s one of the best things I could hear, Laurs. It really is.’

  He refilled their wine glasses and sat back down. ‘Howie always said to me we had to make sure you were surrounded with love because if you were, you wouldn’t want for anything. He told me he knew what it was like not to have a mum. I never really knew what happened to her, but she wasn’t around and his brother shot through, so it was only him and his dad.

  ‘He also understood what it was like not to have any softness as he was growing up. I’m sure that’s why he realised it was important you didn’t ever feel like that. He changed after I brought you home. Became sort of—’ Sean tried to find the words. ‘Oh, I don’t know. Mellow, maybe. You were definitely the sunshine in this house!’

  ‘You’ve never really told me the story, Dad. I mean, I know bits and pieces, but not from start to finish.’ Laura looked over at him. ‘Is it something I should know?’

  Sean cleared his throat as he put his wine glass down. ‘Well,’ he drew out the word. After a moment’s consideration, he said, ‘Well, there’s nothing in it which is a secret.’

  He stopped and Laura waited him out.

  ‘This is all very heavy for me, just arriving and all, Laurs! How about I give you the other present I brought with me, then we’ll talk over dinner.’

  He got up and Laura followed. ‘I certainly didn’t expect this when I decided to come for the weekend!’ he joked.

  ‘I guess it’s my history, isn’t it? I’d never really considered asking before. Talking about Papa’s family has made me think . . . Maybe I’ve got other half-brothers and -sisters out there, people I don’t know. From my mother. I’ve certainly got grandparents. And just because she didn’t want me, doesn’t mean the others wouldn’t.’ She paused. ‘If they even know about me.’

  Laura watched Sean’s face and knew he was trying to keep it expressionless, the way he would when consulting with a patient. She knew him almost better than he knew himself and she could see he was wrestling with the idea. Maybe she should never have mentioned it, but it just seemed to pop out. Bloody fire and its truth potion, she said to herself.

  She changed the subject. ‘Not sure what Howie’d think of us now, two old winos!’ She held up her glass and was glad to see her father smile.

  ‘You know he’d be joining in! Now, come out to the car.’

  Laura followed Sean outside. As they approached his car, she heard a high-pitched cry.

  She stopped. ‘What’s that?’ she asked, even though she knew.

  Sean pulled up the rear hatch. Inside was an animal travel box. ‘It’s your new best friend!’ he answered. He unlatched the wire door and Laura saw a tiny black nose and pink tongue appear. Then a tiny black head.

  ‘He’s not a replacement for Dash,’ Sean said, reaching in to pick up the wriggling body. ‘But he’ll be good company and, I’m told, an exceptional sheep dog. He comes from a bloke who breeds kelpies in the Adelaide Hills. I really don’t know how you’ve run this place since Dash died, Laura. It must make sheep work so difficult.’

  ‘Oh-h-h,’ sighed Laura as she reached for the pup. ‘Aren’t you just a little cutie?’

  A thin puppy bark and a lick made Laura’s heart melt. ‘What about some dinner?’ she asked.

  ‘Good idea,’ Sean answered and grinned when Laura gave him a withering look.

  ‘I was talking to this little one. What will I call you, hmm?’

  The pup shivered in her arms and barked again.

  ‘Why not Howie?’ Sean asked.

  Laura considered the suggestion, then decided against it. ‘I’m going to call him Rip.’

  ‘He looks like a Rip.’

  They went back inside, the pup tucked under Laura’s arm. She got out some milk and heated it in the microwave.

  ‘There you go, little one.’ She watched as he lapped it up eagerly and turned back to Sean. ‘Now I’d better get our dinner.’

  ‘I’ll heat it up,’ Sean said. He opened a cupboard and got out some plates.

  Laura went into the laundry and found a cardboard carton and an old blanket that would make a good bed for the pup. She brought it into the kitchen. Rip was sniffing at everything but when she walked in, he sat down and hunched over timidly. He looked tiny. She picked him up and cuddled him again.

  ‘You’re beautiful,’ she murmured. ‘But you’ll have to learn to do as you’re told. I don’t want another dog being pushy in the yards and people getting hurt.’ For a second she saw the ewe careering down the race at her, remembered being hit and the agony in her stomach. Laura shook away the memory of the loss. ‘Yep, you’ll have to do as you’re told.’

  Rip regarded her seriously before his eyes began to droop. Laura tucked him into his bed, gave him one last pat then joined her father.

  ‘Thanks,’ she said, leaning on her father as he spooned spaghetti and meat sauce into the bowls.

 
‘You’re welcome. I hope you become good mates.’

  ‘I know we will. How’s Poppy?’

  ‘Fine as far as she lets us know. Studying, but probably not hard enough. Parties a bit too much. I’d hoped a 22-year-old would have decided what she wanted to do by now, but she keeps swapping and changing subjects at uni.’ He gave a wry smile and held up his hands. ‘Still, I don’t suppose I can talk. It took me a while to find my calling too.’

  ‘She’s a strange girl,’ Laura said without thinking.

  ‘She’s not, Laura.’ Sean frowned.

  ‘Sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to criticise her. She’s just so different to me.’

  ‘Bound to happen. Two different childhoods, different situations.’

  ‘That’s for sure. She’s city, I’m country and never the twain shall meet.’

  ‘You shouldn’t be so hard on her,’ Sean commented.

  Laura crossed her arms. ‘Dad,’ she said firmly. ‘She doesn’t even try when she’s on Nambina and she’d rather not come down here. And when I’m in the city, she thinks I’m a country hick and doesn’t give me the time of day. We’re too different. Doesn’t mean I don’t care about her, but I don’t think we’ll ever be great friends.’

  ‘You know, when Georgie and I moved to the city we didn’t think we’d stay forever. Just long enough for me to go to uni. We’d always intended to come back to somewhere in the country. Small towns are screaming for doctors. I honestly had no idea what a difference it would make for the kids, growing up in the city.’ He shook his head. ‘Neither of those girls will ever want to be in the country full-time. That goes without saying. But Nicki doesn’t mind spending time here. I know Poppy finds it a little . . .’ He searched for words.

  ‘Primitive?’ Laura offered.

  ‘Boring, perhaps.’ He took the plate she handed him and sat at the table, then looked at her. ‘I wish we’d brought her up on Nambina. It’s much cleaner living. Here there aren’t the temptations that there are in the city. And I must admit I’m pretty worried about her, Laurs.’

  It was then she wondered if maybe the tiredness she could see on his face was actually concern.