Crimson Dawn

by Fleur McDonald

  ‘Good job this week, I reckon,’ Laura commented. ‘We’re all organised and the sheep will feel better for it.’

  ‘The first mob we did are looking better already,’ Robyn said. ‘I went out there yesterday after we finished.’

  Laura nodded. ‘Yeah, I agree.’

  Noticing Rip was trying to get up on the seat, Laura pushed him gently back down. ‘I’m just relieved to get through the week without any more of you getting sick,’ she said. ‘It would have made for a hard slog if it had been just Rip and me.’

  ‘If Allie was sick,’ Robyn said cryptically. She put the ute into gear and drove off slowly.

  Laura looked across at her student. ‘What do you mean?’

  Robyn shook her head, refusing to take her eyes off the road ahead.

  Laura changed tack. ‘Got plans for the weekend?’ she asked.

  ‘Will and I are going to Adelaide,’ Robyn answered. ‘I managed to get tickets to one of the musicals in town. I love theatre! I’m trying to get him interested too.’ She stopped for a moment, glancing over at Laura. ‘I’m really looking forward to it. Getting away for a bit.’

  Laura tried to read what was behind Robyn’s words. Something wasn’t right with the students at the moment. The atmosphere had changed over the last week. The girls had once been friends. Good friends. Now all Laura saw were three girls who couldn’t talk to each other or be around each other. Things seemed tense, even cold.

  Laura decided to bite the bullet. ‘Have you got anything you’d like to tell me?’ she asked, looking sideways at Robyn.

  Robyn raised her eyebrows but said nothing.

  ‘You three used to be joined at the hip! Now it seems a little edgy between you all,’ Laura pointed out.

  ‘We’re all fine.’ Robyn brought the ute to a stop.

  Laura stroked Rip’s soft head. ‘You know where I am if you can’t sort it out yourselves,’ she said. Getting out of the ute, she pulled the gate closed and latched it. She stood for a moment watching as the ewes fanned out, the lambs bleating as they followed their mothers.

  ‘This time two weeks ago, we would have been beginning to think about it getting dark,’ she called out to Robyn. ‘We would have had jumpers on. We’ll need them in an hour or so, but feeling the sun on my skin today has been beautiful!’ She rubbed her bare arms and raised her face towards the last rays.

  Robyn joined her at the gate. ‘It’s definitely been a beautiful day,’ she agreed.

  ‘Well, Rob,’ Laura said, turning to her. ‘I for one, wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.’

  Robyn studied the ground, then turned to Laura.

  ‘Um, Laura?’

  ‘Hmm?’

  ‘I think Allie is into something bad.’

  Laura looked at her.

  ‘Like what?’

  Robyn shook her head. ‘I don’t know. That’s the problem. I don’t have any proof, just a feeling. She’s hasn’t been sleeping—I know because I hear her up walking around. She’s on the phone until really late—sometimes the phone calls don’t come in until after midnight and I can hear her talking. It’s just weird. And she’s changed. It’s been slow and gradual, but she’s definitely different, somehow. Moody and grumpy.’ Robyn shook her head. ‘It’s horrible in the house with her. This last week has been unbearable.’ She stopped. ‘And now I feel like I’m telling tales,’ she said miserably.

  ‘Not at all,’ Laura said earnestly. ‘If you’re unhappy and worried about a friend, it’s a good thing to tell someone. Let me say, there have been enough people suiciding around this area. No one in the district would ignore a problem with a friend. Their friends know them best. I just have to work out how to deal with it.’ She paused. ‘Has she got a secret boyfriend she’s on the phone to, do you think?’

  ‘You know who I think she’s talking to? That lead singer from the band we saw a few weeks ago.’

  ‘Is that a bad thing?’

  ‘He looked like bad news, but I know you can’t judge people by how they look. Sometimes the shaggiest, most tattooed person is the kindest.’

  ‘What does Tegan think about it all?’

  ‘She’s trying to ignore it.’

  They got back into the ute and Robyn started the engine. Rip woke up with a start, gave a yawn and then settled back down onto the floor.

  ‘Do you think these nightly walks could be to help her go back to sleep?’ Laura asked.

  ‘I guess so,’ Robyn conceded. ‘But who would walk out in the freezing cold, pace outside and then try to get back to sleep? It would be more likely to wake you up.’ Agitated, Robyn ran her hand over her hair. ‘And Tegan told me you asked about the pouch in the glove box?’

  ‘Yeah, I did.’

  ‘It’s Allie’s.’

  ‘Ah. You know, I haven’t smelt smoke anywhere. She mustn’t do it very often.’

  Robyn looked at Laura for a long moment and Laura began to feel uneasy. ‘It’s not tobacco,’ Robyn said finally.

  Chapter 27

  2008

  Laura surveyed her clothes. The Baggy and Saggy Ball was on this evening and she still had absolutely no idea what to wear. She’d meant to make a trip to the second-hand store during the week, but had run out of time.

  To make matters worse, she was in no mood to go—her mind was all over the place, careening back and forth between the plight of poor Jenny Spencer and the problem of Allie.

  The evening before, when Laura had asked Robyn what she meant by ‘not tobacco’, Robyn had responded, ‘It’s weed.’

  Laura had stayed silent, trying to find the right words to comfort Robyn and put her mind at ease. ‘Okay,’ she said after some contemplation. ‘Leave it with me and I’ll work out how I’m going to handle it. I have to be honest and tell you I’ve never had a problem with drugs at the school before. I’ll need a little time to think about it.’

  ‘I think you need to hurry, Laura, really I do. I don’t think she’s just doing weed.’

  Laura had felt cold dread settle on her at that moment.

  And then there was Jenny Spencer to think about. Here was Allie, her whole life in front of her, choosing to do drugs and muck it all up, while Jenny, through no fault of her own and with a young child in tow, had been cut down in the prime of her life with multiple sclerosis.

  Laura gave up looking through her wardrobe in exasperation and went into Howie’s room. She knew there were still some of her grandmother’s clothes in the wardrobe. Even though Granny had passed away decades earlier, Howie had never properly cleaned out her wardrobe. Laura had never been sure why, but once he’d gone, she understood. It was the same reason she hadn’t cleared his area of the house. It was her grandfather’s and it was sacred. To leave it untouched meant he was still around in some way, watching over her.

  She made her way down the long passageway that had once divided the house in two. Howie’s office was off his bedroom on his side of the house and Laura lived comfortably in her half.

  Now, Laura sighed as she looked around her Papa’s room. It was just as it had been the day he’d died. She really didn’t want to change anything yet. Her father had talked about clearing it out, but so far, every time he came to Nambina, there either wasn’t time, or they avoided the topic.

  She opened her grandmother’s wardrobe. There were a few dresses still on their hangers, now yellowed and musty with age. She pulled out one that seemed in reasonable condition. It was black velvet dotted with large orange flowers, and had long sleeves and an empire waistline. The collar came high up under her chin.

  ‘Oh, yuck!’ she said, holding it up. It was hideous. ‘You might be just about perfect.’

  The phone rang in the kitchen and she ran to answer it.

  ‘Laura, it’s Tim. I’m just making sure you’re not piking on me tonight.’ His laughter rumbled down the line.

  Laura grinned. ‘I promise I’m not,’ she said, tucking the phone between her shoulder and ear. ‘I’ll be there in—’ she checked her
watch, ‘—about an hour.’

  ‘Good. Are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up? I’m not convinced you’ll make it. A lamb might need saving or a crop might need planting.’ His tone was light and teasing.

  ‘I’ll be there. Golf club. One hour. See you then.’ Laura quickly hung up on Tim’s laughter. She hoped she’d alleviated his fears. And hers.

  ‘Pull yourself together, Laura Murphy,’ she chided. ‘Allie will keep for a night.’

  She returned to Howie’s room to try on the dress. It was a bit big but she knew she had a cinch belt in her room somewhere. That’d fix the problem.

  As she headed down the hall to the bathroom she thought, not for the first time, about how quiet her phone was these days. Back when she was younger it had rung constantly, and there were always messages. Now the only people who called were stock agents or family. She wasn’t on any committees, didn’t help out in the community in any way. Her phone for the most part stayed silent. And now she was about to throw herself back into the community. It felt strange.

  She showered and dressed, then went to check on Rip, who was tucked up in the laundry. Finally she headed out the door, her gait unsteady in the unfamiliar high heels.

  As she drove out, she couldn’t help but look over at the students’ quarters, where a lone bulb glowed behind a curtain. She’d seen Robyn leave as soon as they’d finished work the day before. Tegan hadn’t been far behind, although she didn’t say what she was doing for the weekend. That left Allie, she guessed.

  It would be difficult living in circumstances like that, she thought. It was a wonder their work hadn’t suffered. Maybe that was still to come.

  When she drove into the golf club’s carpark, she spotted Tim waiting outside. Even from a distance she couldn’t miss his light blue trousers, orange shirt and purple jacket with leopard print lapels.

  ‘Ah, so you didn’t decide to save the world of agriculture tonight, then?’ he asked as he held the ute door open. ‘Wow. I have to say, that’s, ah, an interesting dress.’

  ‘Not saving anything today,’ she answered. ‘Thanks. It was my grandmother’s. And that’s a pretty spiffy jacket you’ve got there.’ She froze as Tim leaned in to kiss her cheek.

  ‘Hope you’ve got your purse ready to go,’ he said, taking her arm. ‘I hear that it’s going to be a lot like Rotary—we’re all going to get fined.’

  ‘Sounds like fun,’ she answered, not meaning it.

  They went inside. ‘Wow, whoever’s organised this has done a great job,’ Laura said. ‘Look at the way it’s been decorated—you wouldn’t know it was the golf club!’ Tree branches had been arranged in each corner of the room, while the tables were covered in white cloths and decorated with vases of native bush. There were linen napkins and sparkling silver cutlery, and hanging from the ceiling was a round hoop decked with flowers. The smell was country all over.

  ‘Looks like a wedding, not a fundraiser, if you ask me,’ Tim whispered in her ear. He took her hand and led her past the tables until they arrived at one on the edge of the room. ‘Apart from the outfits!’

  Laura looked around. There were people in brown flares, orange shirts and clothes that should have been consigned to the rag bag long ago. ‘I can’t believe there could be this much bad fashion in town,’ she marvelled. ‘Where’s it been hidden all these years?’

  ‘I think we all look rather dashing,’ Tim said with a grin. ‘Come on, let’s sit down. None of the others will bite.’

  Laura remembered the three couples already at their table. Suddenly she felt shy. If only Catherine were here, she thought.

  Most of them were people she went to school with. Now they were married with kids. When had that happened? Where had the time gone? She and Tim were the only two out of the whole group who weren’t hitched.

  ‘Laura, do you remember everyone here?’ Tim asked.

  Laura nodded. ‘Hello,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Great to see you again, Laura. Don’t catch you very often.’ It was Sarah, who was married to Jake.

  ‘Don’t get to many of these dos,’ she answered, sinking into the chair Tim had pulled out for her.

  ‘Drink?’ asked Ken, who had his arm around Susan. ‘I’m just on my way to get another round.’

  ‘That would be lovely. A white wine if they have it.’

  ‘Oh, they’ll have it,’ Katie answered. ‘They’ve got everything here tonight, haven’t they, Dave?’ She turned to her partner.

  Dave laughed loudly, his rosy cheeks giving the hint he may have had a couple of drinks before he arrived. ‘I reckon they will, love. All profits from the bar are going to Jenny too.’ He turned to Laura. ‘So, how are you? We just don’t see you out much anymore. How’s the jillaroo school going?’ He leaned forward, gazing at her intently.

  Laura looked over at Tim before answering. ‘Great, thanks. I’ve got three girls out there at the moment. They’ve already learned heaps and are showing more confidence than when they started, which is what I’m aiming for.’

  ‘I think you’re doing such a wonderful thing,’ Susan said. ‘I wish something like that had been around when I was leaving school. Used to hate going to the field days by myself, surrounded by blokes. Felt stupid asking questions in front of them and all that sort of thing. To be able to learn in a non-threatening environment would be fantastic.’

  Laura felt a rush of pleasure and sat up a bit straighter. ‘Thanks, Susan.’

  ‘Yeah, but then you hooked up with me and I got to protect you and answer all those bloody endless questions you asked,’ joked Ken. ‘Drove me mad!’

  Laura grinned as Susan batted her husband with her hand in protest.

  The drinks arrived and they clinked glasses.

  ‘Here’s to us all,’ Tim toasted. ‘To healthy lives. And to Jenny.’

  ‘Healthy lives and Jenny,’ they echoed.

  Laura looked around at the rest of the gathering and saw many people she knew. As she glanced behind her, her eyes locked with Josh Hunter’s. He was sitting next to Meghan, deep in conversation with the woman beside her. Whether Meghan had noticed her presence, Laura wasn’t sure.

  Josh nodded at her and tried to hold her gaze.

  Feeling uncomfortable, she was relieved when the MC commenced proceedings. Doug welcomed the crowd, then ran through the housekeeping before introducing the first act—a pantomime.

  Laura laughed until her sides hurt, watching local men dressed as women and the villain sneaking, very obviously, across centre stage.

  After the performance, the first course was served. Just as Tim offered her the salt and pepper, Doug appeared by her side, a microphone in his hand. ‘Ladies and gents, I have it on good authority that we need to fine this young lady. My sources tell me she doesn’t get out often and tonight is the first time we’ve seen her in ages.’

  Heat raced to Laura’s cheeks and she stiffened. Susan and Katie flashed her sympathetic looks.

  ‘So, my good friends, what will we say? A dollar? Two?’

  Calls of two dollars came from around the room and Doug waved a moneybox under her nose. Laura, hands shaking, reached for her bag, but was saved when Tim dropped the coin in on her behalf.

  A cheer went up as Laura sank back into her chair.

  ‘Don’t let them get to you,’ whispered Tim. ‘Stand up and take a bow. Don’t be a deer in the headlights.’

  Flashing him a wide-eyed stare, she shook her head.

  He raised his eyebrows and nodded. ‘Come on. Be the Laura Murphy you were a few years back!’ He took her hand and squeezed it.

  Laura straightened her back, stood and gave an elaborate bow. Everyone clapped and some even wolf-whistled. Heart pounding, she sat back down again.

  ‘It’s always a bugger being the first one,’ Jake commented between mouthfuls of his entrée.

  Laura just nodded.

  Chapter 28

  2008

  Laura walked out of the golf club bathroom and bumped straight int
o Josh Hunter.

  ‘Excuse me,’ she muttered, looking down and trying to sidestep him.

  ‘Why are you ignoring me?’

  ‘What?’ she asked, eyes narrowed.

  ‘I’ve been trying to talk to you all evening. Every time I make eye contact, you look away and start pawing at Tim-the-vet.’ He crossed his arms and glared at her.

  ‘Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Josh. It never has,’ Laura snapped. ‘I don’t believe I have anything to say to you.’

  ‘Can’t we mend old fences? Laura, I’ve missed you and I’ve been thinking. We shouldn’t keep a feud going on because of some misunderstanding. Life’s too short.’ He looked sad.

  She stared at him, unsure where this was headed. ‘As I recall, the last conversation we had wasn’t a conversation at all. It involved you yelling at me while I was lying in a hospital bed. It’s not a conversation I care to relive. So, no, I don’t believe so.’

  Josh sighed and ran his hands over his face. ‘I’m sorry, okay. I was hurt and upset. I’ve been wanting to apologise for ages.’ He grabbed her by the shoulders. ‘I was wrong, Laura. I know that now. The last few months, well, it’s been playing on my mind . . .’

  ‘Months?’ Laura pulled back and stared at him, furious. ‘You’ve only thought about it in the last few months? It’s been eight years, Josh. Excuse my language, but what the fuck?’ She was seething.

  ‘Laura . . .’ Josh began again.

  She held up her hand. ‘No. I have nothing to say to you. It’s been too long, there’s been too much hurt, and nothing will fix that.’ She stopped as she realised something. ‘Is this because I’m here with Tim? Are you jealous? Well, mate, you lost the right to feel that eight years ago.’

  She turned to leave, but he caught her by the arm again. ‘Laura,’ Josh repeated. ‘Far out, woman, you’re so pig-headed. Would you just listen to me?’

  Now there was anger in Josh’s eyes and Laura recoiled slightly. Their argument in the park that day came back to her. She shook him off and walked away. But something made her stop. A bubble of emotion she couldn’t control made her turn back to him. ‘And why the hell do you think I would talk to you after the way your sister threatened me at the show? Or are you going to tell me you didn’t know about that? Ha! Unlikely. You were thick as thieves, telling each other everything. Believing what she told you, over me, even when it wasn’t true.’ She shook her head. ‘You leave me alone, Josh Hunter. I have no interest in even being in the same room as you.’ She turned again and fought the urge to look over her shoulder as she walked away. Was he still watching? She was sure he was.