Crimson Dawn

by Fleur McDonald

  ‘Meghan, you’re not making any sense.’

  ‘Who do you think supplied Allie with the drugs to put in your ram’s feed?’

  Laura blinked at the change of subject.

  ‘Who do you think got Allie hooked on drugs and took her to all those parties? She was his eyes and ears here. Into Nambina. To what you were doing. He’s obsessed with you, Laura. It started slowly—he took his time accepting what had happened. I mean, you guys were good together, but as the years went by, he didn’t change. There was obviously something else going on in his mind. He’d never actually talk about you, he just watched. But since he saw you with Tim at the Baggy and Saggy ball, his slide has been massive. He’s managed to hide it from everyone else except us—Mum and me. His room is covered in photos of you from when you were together. And photos he took that you probably didn’t even know about. You don’t believe me? Look at this.’ She pulled a folded page from her back pocket and handed it over. ‘His jealousy is abnormal, Laura. If he can’t have you, he doesn’t want anyone else to. He can’t be happy, so you can’t. That’s why he concocted this idea of trying to take Nambina away from you. He knows it’s your life, that this land is everything to you. If you’ve fallen in love and really begun to move on, he somehow wants to stop you.’

  Laura looked at the piece of paper in her hand and slowly unfolded it, irrational fear shooting through her. She recoiled. It was a photo of herself, driving the ute along the boundary fence. Robyn was sitting beside her. The image was so clear and close, Laura could see her own sun-damaged skin. How had he been so near without her seeing him? Him and his bloody camera!

  ‘That doesn’t prove it was him,’ she said, though the doubt was beginning to filter through. She gave the photo back. She was confused and still desperate for Meghan to be the cause of all this. After all, it was Meghan who’d told the lies, convinced Josh and started the downward spiral for them all.

  ‘I have proof,’ Meghan said. ‘It’s in his bedroom. He’s the drug supplier for the whole town. Hell, he supplies me, which is why he’s got a hold over me. If I don’t want to do something he withholds my speed. That’s why I threatened you at the show. He told me to, and I needed a fix.’

  Meghan continued, her eyes wild. ‘It was easy to hate you, Laura. You had everything I wanted. A good man, a baby due. A family who loved you wholly and completely. You were taking what I wanted away from me because you were taking it from Josh. I knew I couldn’t have kids, but I’d decided I’d make a fantastic aunt. I knew I could live my life through you and Josh. Then, without warning, you were at the hospital. The word was going around you’d had an abortion.’ She gave a harsh laugh. ‘Good old Mangalow and its gossip mongers. Realistically, I know that couldn’t have happened. You have to have counselling and so on to have a procedure like that. But suddenly what I wanted had gone. That’s why I convinced Josh. It wasn’t hard. He’d always been possessive of you, although I’m not sure you ever saw it.’ She sighed. ‘You have no idea what it’s been like living with him these past years. It’s Laura, Laura, Laura. The only thing that gives him relief is the drugs. Then he got mixed up in these sex parties, and the rest is history.’

  Laura’s eyes widened. ‘Damn,’ she said. ‘That was him in the photo that Allie had, wasn’t it? I knew I recognised the features. I couldn’t believe it would be him, so I ignored it.’

  ‘I don’t know what photos you’re talking about, but if they had anything to do with drugs or these parties, it would have been Josh. He’s the one who organises everything. And if Allie was at those parties, she would have been with a guy called Terry. Josh made sure he had her just where he wanted her. That she couldn’t get away from his influences, and Terry helped with that.’

  ‘Who’s Terry?’

  ‘The lead singer from Sinking Blizzard. He and Josh were boarding-school buddies.’

  ‘Fuck . . .’ It didn’t take Laura long to connect the dots.

  Poppy was mixed up with that bloke too.

  ‘I came to tell you, Laura, because the lawyers have been in contact. Josh knows it’s all fallen through. I’m frightened about what he might do.’

  ‘You need to go to the police,’ Laura said sharply. ‘I can’t do anything. It’s all hearsay to me.’

  ‘I know.’ She looked down miserably. ‘I’m sorry I’m so weak. I’m sorry I let him control me. Especially when I knew you didn’t have an abortion. I was still so angry with you for not talking to me, not trusting me.’

  ‘Go to the police now, Meghan,’ Laura urged. ‘And you need to get some help.’

  ‘Will you come with me?’

  ‘No.’ Laura paused. ‘I’ll ask Tim to take you, if you want.’ It was the least she could do to acknowledge the friendship they had once shared.

  ‘Poppy, I need to talk to you.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Just come down here.’ Laura led the way into her bedroom and sat on the bed, patting the spot beside her.

  ‘You’re most of the reason we worked out where Lee was,’ she said to her sister with a smile. ‘That deserves really big praise!’

  Poppy half-smiled but looked wary.

  ‘You know the band called Sinking Blizzard? I think you talked about them on the phone one day.’

  A smile split Poppy’s face. ‘Yeah. They’re the hottest thing around Adelaide at the moment. Awesome music.’

  ‘They played down here a couple of times too.’

  ‘Seriously? Did you go?’

  Laura shook her head. ‘But Robyn, Tegan and Allie did. Allie got quite friendly with the lead singer. Terry, I think his name is.’

  Poppy’s face lost its smile and she crossed her arms. ‘What about it?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh, Poppy, don’t you see what you’re mixed up with? He’s supplying drugs to people, going to sex parties. You’re so much better than that. You’ve got the world at your feet, a family who love you. Please, please don’t go down that path.’

  ‘For your information,’ Poppy said haughtily. ‘I already know all of that. Including that I’m better. I haven’t taken drugs for five weeks and I haven’t seen him in as long. Yeah, I got caught up in the hype and excitement. But not now. So don’t tell me what’s good for me or what I am. You don’t know me that well.’

  Poppy stomped out of the room, leaving Laura feeling more hopeful that her sister might be getting back on track. She’d still word up her dad and Georgie, she decided, but maybe Poppy had got out before she was hooked. She hoped so.

  When Josh was charged with stalking, possession with intent to sell and having sex with underage girls, it was the talk of the town. But the Murphys of Nambina weathered the storm calmly.

  ‘Crazy!’ Laura had said. ‘No one would have known. He was so uptight and straight in public.’

  Tim shook his head. ‘I hear all types of gossip in the surgery. But there was never one word said about Josh that I know of. How he kept everything under wraps is beyond me.’

  Laura put her arms around him. ‘Now we’ve got to get the crop off. And then Christmas! It’s only a week away! This year has just flown.’

  ‘And I have to get back to work.’

  ‘I’m pleased Meghan has managed to get into rehab,’ Laura mused. ‘I think she’ll be okay in the end. Glenda won’t let anything else happen. I’m going to meet the new manager Glenda has installed tomorrow. Hopefully there can be a decent relationship between the two farms again.’

  Tim swung her around until she was sitting down. He plonked down next to her. ‘So what are your plans?’

  ‘Crop off, graduate these girls in another five months and start all over again with a new bunch. I’ve learned a lot from this group, so I’ll be better at it next time.’

  ‘Got time for a wedding?’ Tim asked as he drew in the ground with a stick.

  Laura looked at him. ‘Wedding? Whose?’

  ‘Well, ours. Had an idea we might, you know, get married.’ He sounded unsure of himself.

 
Laura pushed him back and kissed him. ‘Tim Burns, you always know the right thing to say.’

  Chapter 42

  2009

  Laura was woken by a tapping sound. Tim’s face appeared around the door.

  ‘I’m not supposed to see you before the ceremony,’ she whispered.

  ‘I know, but you can’t miss this sunrise. If you’re quiet, no one will know.’ He grinned cheekily at her, and she felt her heart race.

  She glanced at her wardrobe to make sure her wedding dress was out of sight. Tim could break all the rules he liked—except seeing the dress, she decided.

  Throwing on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, she gathered up the pile of letters on her dressing table and tiptoed out to the kitchen. Tim had disappeared—she guessed he was waiting in his dual cab.

  ‘Where are you going? It’s still dark outside.’

  Laura started and turned around. Catherine was standing with her hands on her hips and a curious look on her face. Her hair was messy and her cheeks were lined with crease marks from the pillow.

  ‘Um . . .’ Laura felt her face grow red. She’d been caught.

  ‘You’re incorrigible! What about all the traditions?’

  ‘He hasn’t seen the dress,’ Laura said defensively.

  Catherine flapped her hands. ‘Go on, then. Meet Tim. I won’t tell anyone. Just bring me a coffee when you get back.’

  Laura flashed her a grin and turned away. She stopped and went back to hug her friend. ‘It’s so good to have you here.’

  Catherine returned the hug. ‘Off you go or you’ll be late for your own wedding. Only a farmer would time the ceremony for ten in the morning.’

  There was the sound of footsteps on the verandah. Tim appeared in the doorway, holding a thermos cup of coffee. ‘Come on, Laurs,’ he hissed, gesturing with his one free hand. ‘Ah, Catherine! Good morning to you.’

  Catherine waved as Laura ran out the door. Outside, she started to laugh wildly. ‘I feel like I’m sneaking off without Dad knowing,’ she said. She spun around in the cool morning air, her head back. ‘I’m so excited. So happy!’

  Tim handed her the cup. ‘Come on,’ he hurried. ‘We’ll miss the sunrise.’

  Rip had materialised in the back of the ute. Laura gave him a quick pat and they were off.

  ‘Where are we going?’ She took a sip from her cup. ‘Oh, you’ve brought the coffee from town? Did you drag one of the ladies at the deli out of bed to make it for you?’

  ‘No. I made it myself. Now, we’re going to the old asylum.’ He leaned across and kissed her, keeping his eyes on the road. ‘I needed to spend this morning with you.’

  Laura smiled and put her hand on his knee. The rest of the trip passed in contented silence.

  At last Tim turned off the road and pulled up near the crumbling building. It had been abandoned years before and was now inhabited by pigeons and rabbits.

  They got out and, leaning on the bullbar, sipped their coffee as they waited for the sun’s first rays to show.

  ‘How did you and Sean go at cleaning out Howie’s rooms?’ Tim asked, still staring towards the horizon.

  Laura took another sip and felt for the letters in her pocket. ‘Okay. We got rid of all the clothes—who knows what they’ll do with them at the second-hand store. I certainly can’t see anyone buying them!’

  ‘Might be useful for another Baggy and Saggy,’ Tim said with a grin.

  ‘That’s about all,’ Laura agreed. ‘We kept a few things—things that need to stay with the house because they’re part of Nambina’s history. You know, like his records and books. The paintings on his wall can stay there too. I don’t want to shift them. It would look strange not having them there.’

  ‘History is important,’ Tim agreed. ‘But it’ll be nice to have the use of those rooms for kids.’

  Laura didn’t say anything. Her emotions had gone a little crazy last night, when she and Sean finished carting the final boxes out to the back of her ute. She knew something had finished, but at the same time it hadn’t. Howie would always be with her. In her heart and memory. He’d helped shape and teach her. He couldn’t be lost, no matter what changes she made to Nambina. But the physical history would teach the generations to come. The generations she and Tim would create.

  Laura wished Nicky and Poppy felt the same way about Howie as she did. At the last bridesmaid fitting two days before, she’d tried to explain her love for him to them. The sad fact was, however, he hadn’t been a great part of their life—the part they could remember, anyhow.

  The heavy-heartedness that had taken over halfway through yesterday, when she had discovered the old letters, came back. She dug into her back pocket. ‘I found these in Papa’s suit. They were in the inside pocket of his jacket.’ She handed them to Tim. ‘These made me think about what could have been,’ she said. ‘How the choices we make can take us on different paths.’

  Tim put down his cup and opened one of the letters. As he did, a shimmer of red hit the clouds. The new day was on its way. In the pale light of sunrise, Tim began to read.

  Dear Thomas,

  Dad said you’d been here to Nambina. I wish I could have seen you. I’ve been wanting to write to you for so long, but didn’t know where you were. I guess there is still every chance this letter won’t find you.

  Thomas, you hurt Dad really bad. For a while I was angry with you for that. I know all of the times he hurt you, you took it without saying a word, so I can sort of understand what you did.

  He’s old and all the whiskey has made him sick. He hides it well, since he’s stopped drinking. The doctor has just said there’s not much they can do.

  Thomas I need you to know I’m sorry. Sorry for not standing up to Dad when he started hitting you. I was pleased it wasn’t me so I kept my head down and stayed out of the way. I was happy to let you take the beatings.

  Once you left, I was sure he’d start on me, but he didn’t. Dad stopped drinking. Just like that. He sort of became a different person. A much happier one. We started to make a friendship—a good one, and I enjoyed it. I felt like he’d chosen me to be the son he loved and as much as I didn’t understand why, I wasn’t going to question it. I didn’t want to be abused the way you had.

  So I let it go. I basked in his attention once you left. When I look back now, I know I was wrong.

  I need to apologise and know that you’ve read this letter. Know that somehow you might consider forgiving me.

  Dad died two weeks ago. Would you come home, Thomas? To be brothers and friends? Workmates and partners?

  I won’t ever give up hope you’ll come home at some stage in your life. The offer will be there until I die.

  Your brother,

  Howard

  ‘Wow,’ was all Tim said. He started to open the second letter.

  ‘They’re all the same,’ Laura said. ‘They say exactly the same thing.’ She reached for the envelope. ‘Look here. They were all returned to him.’

  ‘Not known at this address,’ Tim read out loud. They were silent again, thinking of all that had happened and about all the ‘what ifs’.

  ‘Life’s a bit like those Choose Your Own Adventure books we read as kids, except you don’t get a second chance at it,’ Tim said. ‘If you make a bad mistake you’ve either got to admit it and fix it, or live with it forever.’ Laura slipped her arm around Tim’s waist as the sun broke over the horizon. ‘That’s what Thomas did. I reckon he thought he’d be the one to make a better life for himself by leaving but it didn’t work out that way. Somehow, it was Howie who ended up with the life Thomas wanted.’

  She looked out across the landscape. The grass had turned from brown to green over the last two weeks. Laura had planned it that way, scheduling the wedding for May so she could be married on Nambina when everything was green.

  Which reminded her: today was her wedding day! The house would be coming to life now, she guessed. Poppy would be making coffee; Lee would be making fresh juice while she chatted
to Nicki. Sean and Georgie would be at the kitchen table, making final arrangements for the coming day. In the students’ quarters, Tegan and Robyn would be planning their outfits.

  Allie hadn’t responded to their wedding invitation, but Laura still hoped she might be there today. Laura was keen to see how her former student was getting on.

  The clouds were glowing a dark crimson now. A new day was here.

  ‘It’s our turn to make greatness happen here, Laurs,’ Tim said after a while. ‘We can leave the ghosts and stories from way-back-when right here. We’ll just tell them when they’re needed again.’

  Laura turned to him and tilted her head back. ‘I like that idea.’

  Acknowledgements

  Although we spend much time, while writing, by ourselves—more likely than not a dog (or cat) at our feet—authors never write a book alone. A truer sentence was never typed!

  Mae Flynn, for all your hard work and encouragement.

  David and Nicole Swan from Swan’s Vet Services in Esperance. Your dedication to vet students and their practical learning inspired me to dream up Laura. Hopefully she’s half as good as you guys! Thanks for your encouragement, support and answers, no matter how silly the question.

  Bob and Jean Fisher, who answered my endless questions about shearing teams and woolsheds back in the ’30s and ’40s—your eyewitness accounts were incredibly helpful.

  Sally van de Walter, Sarah Peck, Rebekah Herden and all the girls (and guys) who were involved in the hilarious Facebook conversation about nightclubs, bands and clothes from the early ’90s, just after we left school. Thanks for the laughs and memories!

  Louise Gray for all the merino show information and stories.

  All the Facebook fans who were involved in choosing the animal names in Crimson Dawn.

  Alecia Hancock—great job.

  Robyn—for being there.

  Louise, Jude, Sarah, Amy, Marie and all the other incredible people at Allen & Unwin. Thank you for all of your hard work in making my books the best they can be and continuing to give me these wonderful opportunities.