by Dilly Court
Now, in the cold light of day she struggled with feelings of remorse. She knew very well that Harry was still pining after Kate, but a match like that would spell ruin for an ambitious man. She needed a rich husband and he needed a well-bred wife to assure his position in society and to bear him a son and heir. It was a business contract, and both parties would benefit. She smiled. She had lied and cheated, but these were just ploys that anyone with ambition might use to further their own advantage. If she were a cat she would be purring. Her abominable uncle was delighted and Mama was smiling for the first time since the death of her beloved husband. Even Hickson had managed a tight little grimace that passed for satisfaction on hearing the good news. Now all she had to do was to tell Kate and Sam.
She came to a halt by the middle window as she spotted the familiar pony and trap at the far end of the avenue. As it came closer she could see two people on the driver’s seat and she knew instinctively that it was Sam who held the reins. Her heartbeats quickened and her pulses raced at the sight of him. She made a valiant attempt to replace his earthy image with that of Harry Challoner, but she was painfully aware that there was no magic in Harry’s touch. There was no fire in his eyes when they met hers. There was no heat in her blood when he was close to her. She controlled her erratic breathing with difficulty and forced herself to walk sedately as she left the room and made her way down the wide flight of marble stairs to the entrance hall.
The footman opened the double doors at her command and she descended the steps slowly, hoping that no one but herself could hear her heart thudding against her ribs. She waited until Sam helped Kate alight before moving forward and holding out her hands. ‘You’ve come. What kept you so long, Kate? You must have known that I needed you.’ She addressed her words to Kate, but she intended them for Sam and she shot him a sideways glance to see if he had understood. The bond between them was so strong that she could feel him silently embracing her, even though they were not physically touching. She knew in that moment that he had forgiven her for running away without telling him. Despite her intention to appear aloof, she could not tear her gaze from his face, but she forced herself to speak harshly to him. If she weakened now she would fling herself into his arms and never let him go. ‘Go round to the servants’ entrance, Loveday.’
Sam tipped his hat. ‘Yes, my lady.’ He turned on his heel and strode off without a backward glance.
‘Why did you speak to him like that?’ Kate demanded as she followed Josie into the house. ‘That was so cruel. You know how fond he is of you.’
Josie tossed her head. ‘Sam has to learn his place. We aren’t children now, Kate. Anyway, forget him. Come up to the drawing room. I need to talk to you.’
‘What is it that couldn’t wait? What has changed since yesterday?’
‘Wait until we’re alone.’ Josie shot a meaningful glance at the stone-faced footman. ‘Pas devant les domestiques, Kate.’
Kate followed her up the stairs and into the drawing room. ‘I’m sure they already know whatever it is that you are dying to tell me.’
Josie closed the doors, leaning against them. The thrill of keeping Kate in suspense faded a little as she met her earnest gaze. She would have to be cruel to be kind. ‘I think you’d better sit down, Kate …’ She broke off abruptly as Hickson entered the room without knocking. ‘Yes? What is it, Hickson?’
‘Lady Damerell wants to speak to you about the guest list,’ Hickson said, eyeing Kate’s working clothes with a disdainful sniff. ‘In my day no one would visit the big house looking like that, Coggins.’
Josie turned on her in a sudden fury. ‘Don’t speak to Kate like that, Hickson. She came at my request.’
‘She should be in the servants’ quarters.’ Hickson appeared unabashed.
‘Mind your own business, Hickson. And tell Mama that I’ll come as soon as I can.’
‘Her ladyship doesn’t like to be kept waiting, Miss Josephine.’
‘She’ll understand. Now go away and leave us alone.’
Hickson left the room with a disapproving twitch of her shoulders, closing the door firmly behind her.
‘Abominable woman,’ Josie said with a wry smile. ‘I don’t know why Mama puts up with her. Anyway, she’s not important. Sit down, Kate. I’ve something to tell you.’
Kate perched on the edge of the nearest chair. ‘What list was Hickson referring to? Are you having a party?’
Josie clasped her hands tightly in front of her. Suddenly it was not so easy to tell Kate something which would break her heart. ‘It’s for my wedding. That’s what I wanted to tell you before you heard it from someone else.’
‘He proposed?’ Kate’s eyes were wide with shock and disbelief. ‘Harry actually asked you to marry him?’
‘He did, and I accepted. I’m going to be mistress of Copperstone Castle before the year is out.’
‘But you don’t love him.’
‘This isn’t about love, and you know it.’
Kate leapt to her feet. ‘How can you stand there so calmly, admitting that you’re marrying for money and position?’
‘Because that’s what we do. Women in my position have little choice. I can stay here and suffer the insults and degradation handed out by my dear uncle, or I can marry a man who will give me everything.’
‘Everything but love.’
‘Oh, he loves me, Kate. Make no mistake about that. I can twist men round my little finger if I choose.’
‘As you have done with Sam. You cut your teeth on his poor heart and he’s devoted to you. Do you want to destroy him as well as yourself? You told Harry dreadful lies about me and Sam, and then pretended it was a joke. I hate you for what you’re doing to us, Josie.’
The pain was excruciating. Josie gasped, clasping her hands to her breast. She had not been prepared to face her own feelings head on, but Kate’s words cut deep. A red mist hazed her vision and she was suddenly furious, but her anger was directed at herself. She alone had created this situation, and she must be the one to make it right again. ‘Why are you so upset, Kate?’ she cried angrily. ‘Is it because I’m going to marry the man you wanted for yourself, or do you resent the fact that I love Sam?’
Kate’s hands flew to cover her mouth and her eyes filled with tears but she did not answer.
‘Why do you look at me like that, Kate Coggins? You’ve always known that Sam and I love each other.’
‘I – I didn’t know. I mean, I know you care for Sam, but I’ve never heard you speak of him in such a passionate way. I know he loves you, but you treat him so badly …’
‘Yes, I do. And why do you think that is? Because if I allow my true feelings to show, if he ever knew how much I want him, it would destroy us both. Our situations in life are too different – we can never be together. But Sam and I are one and the same being. I’m afraid that parting from him forever will kill me.’
‘And yet you are prepared to marry a man whom you don’t love, just for the sake of position and wealth? How could you, Josie? How could you even think of deceiving a man like Harry into thinking that you love him and want to be his wife?’
‘Don’t be such a little hypocrite. You’d fall at his feet if he looked twice at you.’
‘Yes, you’re right, but more than anything I want him to be happy. If you really loved him I would wish you well.’
Josie stared at her in amazement. ‘I didn’t know you felt so strongly, Kate,’ she said slowly. ‘Maybe I would have acted differently if I’d realised how much you care for him.’
Tears spilled unchecked down Kate’s cheeks. ‘I know that he’s not for me and never could be. We’re worlds apart, and even if he had any feelings at all for me, he wouldn’t sully the Challenor name by marrying so far beneath him.’
‘Merciful heaven! What have we come to?’ Josie laid a tentative hand on Kate’s shoulder. ‘What have we become?’
‘We’ve grown up, Josie. We aren’t children any longer and we have to face what life has in store
for us.’
Josie absorbed this in silence. She was seeing herself in a new and unfavourable light and she was truly shocked. She knew that she had been spoilt from birth by doting parents, who had given her everything she desired. She had gone her own merry way, taking love and friendship for granted. She could not mend Kate’s broken heart, but Sam was different. He was and always would be a part of her – the better part. She met Kate’s sad gaze with a determined lift of her chin. ‘I must see him, Kate. It will be for the last time, I promise you, but I have to talk to Sam, setting things straight between us.’
‘You must not let him hope.’
‘I need to speak to him while I have enough resolve to end it.’
‘Shall I send him to you?’
‘No. We mustn’t be seen together. Go now, please. Tell him to meet me in the summerhouse by the lake. I’ll be waiting for him.’
Kate hugged her. ‘Be kind to him, Josie. He’s a good man and I love him like a brother.’
Ten minutes later, Josie was in the summerhouse, waiting anxiously. How long could it take for Kate to find Sam and pass on her message? Perhaps he had taken umbrage at the way in which she had treated him earlier? He might be punishing her by refusing to come. She spun round as she heard a muffled footfall on the lichen-covered steps outside, and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw his outline through the dusty windowpanes. The door opened and he entered on a gust of cool air. He held out his arms and she walked into his embrace without stopping to consider whether it was right or wrong. He brushed her forehead with the softest of butterfly kisses, whispering her name over and over again. His lips caressed her eyelids and the tip of her nose, and when her knees were threatening to give way beneath her he claimed her mouth in a passionate kiss. She wound her arms around his neck, running her fingers through his hair and returning his embrace with an almost savage intensity.
When at last they drew apart, Sam’s eyes were dark with desire. ‘Josie, my love. My little love.’
Her eyelashes were wet with tears but she smiled up at him, losing herself in the depths of his gaze. ‘Oh, Sam. Don’t make this harder for me.’
He answered her with another kiss, blotting out time and reason. The musky scent of him filled her nostrils and the taste of him only made her hungry for more. The smell of the farmyard was still on him, but now it was sweeter to Josie than all the perfumes of Araby. She could feel his hard muscular body pressed against hers and her treacherous limbs gave way beneath her. They sank to the floor and the cold, bare boards were as soft to Josie as the finest feather bed. She lay beneath him and her blood roiled with passion. Until this moment, she had never experienced the physical need for a man, but now her desire matched his and it ran like fire through her veins. He was undoing the buttons of her bodice. His lips caressed the slim column of her neck, travelling down to the hollow at the base of her throat. She did not feel the cold as his hands found and cupped her breasts. She uttered a soft moan of pleasure as his tongue teased her nipples and his gentle fingers sought the seat of his desire. He stopped, quite suddenly, raising his head and staring at her with dark, unfocused eyes. ‘I want you, but it cannot be. You are my beautiful maidy and always will be, but I cannot take you here, like a common serving girl.’
‘I don’t care,’ Josie cried in a hoarse whisper. ‘I want to be that common serving girl. I don’t care if the world ends here, this minute, Sam.’ She pulled his head down until their lips met, tongue caressed tongue and she arched her body against him.
‘You know that I would never do anything to hurt you, maidy.’
‘I know that and I love you, Sam. I always have and always will, God help me.’ She closed her eyes, giving herself up to the powerful sensations that set her whole body aflame.
He kissed her tenderly on the lips, but the sound of the door opening and a screech of horror made them pull apart. Hickson stood in the doorway, her black shape silhouetted against the cold morning light. She stared at them with contempt. ‘You little whore. I might have known you’d end up like this. Get off her, Loveday, you swine. Have you any idea what you’ve done?’
Sam scrambled to his feet. ‘We love each other, Miss Hickson. I want to make her my wife.’
Hickson’s shout of laughter echoed off the rafters and rattled the window glass. ‘You’re a common farm labourer and you want to marry a baronet’s daughter. You’re dreaming, boy. She’s not for you and you know it.’
Josie’s heart was thudding against her ribs and the blood was drumming in her ears, almost deafening her. She buttoned her dress with trembling fingers, getting up slowly and with as much dignity as she could muster. ‘It’s not how it appears, Hickson. Go away and leave us alone.’
‘Not how it appears? You were whoring in the summerhouse and your father barely cold in his grave. What would he think if he could see you now?’
‘Don’t speak to her like that,’ Sam cried angrily. ‘Leave Josie alone. This was all my fault.’
Hickson regarded him with a curled lip. ‘I know that, you gypsy bastard. You haven’t heard the last of this. I’ve a good mind to report you to Sir Joseph.’
Josie clutched her arm. ‘No. I forbid you to do any such thing, Hickson. Think how it would upset my mother if this were to become servants’ gossip.’
‘Maybe you should have thought of that before you arranged an assignation, Miss Josephine.’ Hickson folded her arms across her flat chest. ‘Get yourself back to the house this instant and we’ll keep this between ourselves.’ She moved swiftly to open the door. ‘And go straight to your room. You’re all dusty and dirty from lying on the floor. Dirty inside and out, that’s you, my girl.’
‘That’s enough, Hickson.’ Josie reached for Sam’s hand, clutching it and taking comfort from its warmth. ‘I won’t allow you to talk to me like that.’
‘Nor I neither,’ Sam said, scowling. ‘Who do you think you are to speak to Miss Damerell in that tone of voice?’
‘Keep out of this, Sam Loveday, or it will be the worse for you. You mustn’t be seen together, so you’d best leave now.’
Josie squeezed his hand. ‘Hickson’s right. You should leave here at once. Don’t go anywhere near the house.’
‘I’m sorry, maidy. I never meant this to happen.’
‘It’s too late for that,’ Hickson said angrily. ‘A horsewhipping is too good for you, Loveday.’
Sam turned his back on her. Taking Josie’s hands in his, he looked deeply into her eyes. ‘I’ll never desert you, Josie. Marry me and I’ll take care of you for the rest of my life.’
Hickson uttered a derisive snort. ‘And have her living in a hovel on twelve shillings a week, with a new mouth to feed every year. Is that the bright future you plan for Miss Josephine Damerell?’
‘It wouldn’t be like that.’ Sam’s fingers tightened their grip on Josie’s hands until she winced. ‘I’ll make something of myself so that I am worthy of you, Josie. Life is nothing to me without you. You belong to me, body and soul.’
The moment of madness had passed and Hickson’s harsh words had brought Josie back to stark reality. ‘It’s no use, Sam,’ she said softly. ‘What she says is true.’
‘I love you, Josie. And I know you love me. Nothing else matters.’
‘No, Sam. You’re wrong. I’ve been brought up to be a lady. You can’t expect me to give up everything I’ve always known and live in poverty. We would end up hating each other.’
‘It wouldn’t be like that.’
‘Yes, it would. And that was what I came here to say. We have to end it here and now.’
The stricken look in Sam’s eyes went straight to the core of her being, and Josie had to steel herself not to throw her arms around him. She wrenched her hands free from his grasp. ‘Go now, Sam.’
He stared at her with a dazed look in his dark eyes. ‘But you want me just as much as I want you.’
‘How dare you speak to a lady in that way?’ Hickson’s shrill voice made them move apart. ‘Do as
Miss Josie says and leave here at once, or I’ll have you thrown out.’
‘Look at me, Josie,’ Sam said urgently. ‘Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t love me.’
He reached out to her, but she drew away from him. Summoning all her willpower, she eyed him coldly. Kate had been right. She must not allow him to hope. ‘I don’t love you. I was just amusing myself, pretending to be in love with you. It’s the done thing in London society. Ladies of quality take common men as their lovers so that they can boast about their conquests.’
‘No.’ His expression was bleak and his eyes filled with pain. ‘I don’t believe you.’
‘I came here this morning to tell you that I’m going to marry Harry Challenor, the master of Copperstone Castle.’
If she had slapped his face, Sam could not have looked more shocked. He stared at her in disbelief. ‘Why are you doing this, Josie? It isn’t true.’
She tossed her head. ‘I can assure you that it is. Our engagement will be announced in The Times. Oh, I forgot. You don’t take it, do you, Sam? It’s not exactly the reading material of a country bumpkin.’ Turning on her heel, Josie ignored the smirk on Hickson’s face and she marched out of the summerhouse with her head held high. She dared not look back as she crossed the dew-covered grass, heading towards the house. She wanted to run, but she was determined not to show the smallest sign of weakness or distress. Sam must believe her cruel words. He must never know how much it had hurt her to utter them, or that her heart had shattered into shards inside her breast. She entered the house and made her way slowly to her room, intent on changing out of her soiled and crumpled gown. She would never wear that dress again as long as she lived. As she mounted the staircase, she came face to face with Kate.
‘Josie, you look awful. What’s wrong?’
‘Leave me alone. I don’t want to talk about it.’
Kate caught her by the sleeve. ‘You look as though you’ve seen a ghost. Did Sam say something to upset you?’
