With Courage and Commitment

by Charlotte Maclay

  The noise of the milling crowd dimmed, the screams from the Ferris wheel were muted by the thud of his heart. His awareness focused entirely on the kiss. On Stephanie, and how she felt in his arms. The press of her breasts against his chest. The slight swell of her tummy as he pulled her closer. The flex of material as he slid his palm across the back of her colorful T-shirt top.

  This kiss was different than any he had experienced. Not carnal. Far sweeter than he was used to and achingly filled with wanting. His or hers, he couldn’t be sure which and was afraid to speculate.

  He wasn’t a man who made commitments. That’s what she needed. But his genetic makeup, his father’s legacy, didn’t lend itself to forever afters. He’d never expected it to happen. Didn’t think it could now no matter how much a part of him might want otherwise. He’d certainly never considered the possibility before.

  He groaned, low and throaty, and lifted his head.

  Slowly she opened her eyes and drew a shuddering breath. Her pupils were dilated, her cheeks flushed.

  “Wow,” she said softly. “That’s gotta be worth more than a buck.”

  “For you, Twiggy, no charge.”

  For a moment, she simply looked up at him, myriad unreadable emotions flitting through her hazel eyes. Then she drew herself back, her spine straightening. “I thought you said you were hungry.”

  “I still am, but I’ll settle for some barbecued steak. For now.”

  She cocked her head. “I’m sure food will cure whatever ails you.”

  SITTING AT A PICNIC TABLE near the bandstand where a children’s dance troupe was performing, Stephanie picked at her plate of steak, beans and wilted lettuce salad.

  Something had changed between her and Danny, and not so subtly. He sat a little closer than usual, their arms brushing despite the fact there was plenty of room at the table. He looked at her differently, his gaze somehow possessive. If anything, he’d become more bossy than before, insisting she take an extra slice of steak for the baby. He was driving her crazy.

  She never should have let that kiss happen.

  He’d caught her off guard but she still could have objected. Shoved him away. Screamed for help.

  But no, she’d given into the delicious surprise of his lips on hers. She’d spent a dozen years imagining what it would be like to kiss Danny Sullivan and hadn’t come close to envisioning the curl-your-toes reality.

  Damn, she was in deep trouble.

  “Pretty good, huh?” he mumbled with his mouth full.

  “Wondrous.” She sighed.

  He shot her a look, his blue eyes narrowing. “I don’t know that I’d call the steak wondrous. I mean, I’ve probably had better but for a picnic, it’s okay.”

  She blinked. “Oh, no, that’s not what I meant. I was thinking about—” She clamped her mouth shut before she stuck her foot in it clear down her throat.

  Laying his plastic fork down on his paper plate, he turned sideways to face her. “Are you all right? You’re not eating much.”

  “My appetite’s a little off, I suppose.” Confusion could do that to a woman.

  “Maybe you got too much sun.” He placed the back of his hand on her forehead. “You look flushed.”

  “I’m fine, really.” Shaking off his hand, she scooped up a forkful of beans. “See, I’m eating.” Swallowing, however, appeared to be a more difficult task than she recalled.

  Whatever would she do if she fell for Danny for real? Not just an adolescent crush but something far more serious. He’d always been a playboy, the tempting bad boy in high school who had grown into a studly firefighter. A man who charmed the ladies at bachelor auctions but didn’t know the meaning of commitment. She’d already fallen for that kind of man once and been burned.

  She’d be twice a fool to go there again.

  Gagging down the forkful of beans, she determinedly stabbed a bite of steak. One kiss meant nothing. A blip on the radar screen of life. She’d get over it. She’d have to because that single kiss wouldn’t lead anywhere she wanted to go. Whatever Danny might feel for her, it had nothing to do with long-term commitment.

  After studying her for a moment more, he went back to eating his own meal.

  “After we’re finished, you want to go try out the Ferris wheel?” he asked a minute or two later.

  She glanced over her shoulder at the circling wheel, not a big one by amusement park standards but fine for a small-town carnival. At twilight they had turned on the lights and the wheel’s neon frame sparkled in red, green and blue. From the top there would be a nice view of downtown Paseo del Real—a romantic view if you were snuggling with a—

  Forcefully she put the thought aside. “I probably ought to get on home.”

  “What? You mean you’re not going to let me win a teddy bear for you by throwing baseballs at milk bottles that are filled with concrete?”

  “They are?”

  “Always seemed like it to me when I was a kid. Those suckers are damn hard to knock over, particularly when you’re trying to impress a girl.”

  In spite of herself, she smiled. “That’s okay. I don’t really need a teddy bear anyway.” Nor did she need him to impress her any more than he’d been doing for the past dozen years or so.

  His gaze dropped to her midsection and he spoke softly. “I could give it to your baby.”

  His words brought the threat of tears to her eyes. A gift for her daughter. The sweetness of the thought clogged her throat. “You don’t have to—”

  Nearby a woman screamed. “Help! My husband! He can’t breathe!”

  Danny was on his feet and moving before Stephanie entirely registered the emergency. He’d spotted the frantic woman two tables over pounding her fist on her elderly husband’s back, crying his name.

  Wrenching the man from his wife’s grasp, Danny hauled him upright, wrapped his arms around the man’s chest, applying a Heimlich maneuver which sent the victim into a coughing spasm. Gently Danny lowered the gentleman back to a sitting position on the picnic bench. He waved off the onlookers who gathered around and spoke calmly to the victim and his wife.

  Minutes later the couple stood and left the picnic area. Danny returned to where Stephanie waited for him.

  “Now I’m impressed,” she said as he sat down beside her.

  “Didn’t your dad tell you? Us firefighter types arrange emergencies like that on purpose so we can impress the girls.” He shrugged. “All in the line of duty, of course.”

  She sent a sharp elbow into his ribs. “Yeah, right.”

  He laughed. “Well, it would be a good plan if we could work it out.”

  “Is the gentleman okay?”

  “Seems to be. He choked on a bite of steak, as I suspected. But you always have to worry about broken ribs with the Heimlich. I told the wife that if he had any chest pain she ought to take him to emergency.”

  Unable to stop herself, she palmed his cheek. Growing serious, she said, “You did good, Danny. Dad would be pleased.”

  He closed his hand around her wrist. “I spent a lot of years hoping to please your dad. After my old man took off, he was the closest thing I had to a father. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him.”

  Somewhere in the back of her mind, a niggling voice wondered if Danny was being so attentive out of a misdirected sense of obligation to her father. The thought was so troubling, the possibility that Danny would take loyalty that far so real, her stomach roiled.

  “I think I’d better go.”

  Over the loudspeakers, the announcer introduced a new band that had taken center stage and invited everyone to join in with a little country two-stepping.

  “Hey, you can’t go yet.” On his feet in a flash, Danny pulled her to hers. “You see before you the all-time Texas cham..pi..on—” he dragged out the word dramatically “—two-stepper this side of Dallas. Or at least this side of Pismo Beach.” He whirled her out onto the wooden dance floor that had been set up on the baseball infield.

  “Danny, I
can’t.”

  “Sure you can. If you don’t know the steps, just follow me.”

  She was helpless to do otherwise. With his arm around her waist, he was too commanding, too determined to resist. He caught the rhythm of the music and infected her. She hadn’t danced in months, maybe years, but her feet found the steps, matching his perfectly just as earlier their lips had fit together as though made for that sole purpose.

  More dancers filled the floor. Teenage girls with their lithe bodies and awkward boyfriends, couples in their senior years showing the grace that comes from dancing with their partners for decades, and younger pairs who were just starting out together. Near the bandstand, children bounced a cadence of their own or rode their father’s shoulders.

  Stephanie recalled all the years she’d hung out around Danny’s house watching him repair his assorted cars or tossing a football with his buddies and dreaming of this moment. She was breathless by the time the band slowed the pace, and it wasn’t entirely because of exertion.

  “Hey, you’re pretty good,” Danny said, easing her into his arms and matching his steps to the more sedate rhythm.

  “I’d almost forgotten how much I love to dance.”

  His blue eyes assessed her. “The baby’s okay with that much exercise?”

  “Aerobics are good for a woman’s circulation, I’m told.”

  The crowd on the dance floor had thinned, and a couple Stephanie recognized two-stepped over to them. Jay Tolliver worked with Danny at Station 6 and his wife Kim was a nighttime talk-show host on the local public radio station. Stephanie had met them both the day firefighter families had gotten together to paint the house of Janice Gainer, the widow of yet another firefighter. That’s how it went in the department; the firefighters were like brothers who helped each other whenever they could.

  Jay shot a grin at Danny. “Wells claims they tossed you out of the kissing booth ’cause you didn’t have any takers.”

  “No way, but I bet he’s been the loneliest guy in the park since he took over.”

  They both laughed.

  Kim said, “Good to see you again, Stephanie. You’re visiting your father?”

  “Uh, not exactly. I’ve moved back home.” At least until she could find a place of her own.

  “I’m sure your dad is pleased about that.” Kim’s smile was genuine, the scar she’d acquired when struck by falling debris during an earthquake two years ago had faded and become less conspicuous. Pity the injury had destroyed her budding television career but she looked happy enough to be in Jay’s arms.

  “And wouldn’t you know Sullivan would latch on to the boss’s daughter as soon as she came back to town,” Jay said. “Looking for a promotion, are you, buddy?”

  Stephanie flushed.

  Kim gave her husband a light swat on the arm. “That wasn’t a very nice thing to say.”

  “I was only teasing. I meant, she’s the prettiest girl on the dance floor and it figures Sullivan would—”

  “She’s the prettiest?” Kim questioned.

  It was Jay’s turn to blush. “What I meant was—”

  “Leave it alone,” Danny warned. “The hole you’re digging is getting deeper by the minute.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” He brushed a kiss to his wife’s forehead. “This is no time for me to get myself in the doghouse. We’re going to have a baby.” From Jay’s smile, he was already a proud papa.

  “Hey, congratulations to the both of you. That’s terrific,” Danny said. “Stephanie’s pregnant, too.”

  Kim’s surprised gaze dropped to Stephanie’s tummy and then to Danny. “That’s wonderful. I hadn’t heard the two of you were—”

  “He’s not the father,” Stephanie quickly said.

  “Oh.” Nonplused, Kim was clearly at a loss for words.

  Distressed, Stephanie stepped away from Danny. “It’s really time for me to get on home. Good to see you both.”

  Her emotions on a roller-coaster ride, she turned and fled.

  Chapter Six

  Danny jogged after her, weaving his way through the crowd. “Stephanie, wait up.”

  She kept on walking toward the well-lighted parking lot, her short, sassy hair bouncing with each step. Stubborn woman.

  He could be just as determined.

  He sidled up beside her and fell into step. “You want to tell me what’s got your panties all twisted in a knot?”

  “It should be obvious.”

  “Hey, I’m a guy, not a mind reader. Give me a clue.”

  She halted so abruptly he sailed past her a step or two and had to backtrack. “Everyone from the city council to your firefighter buddies think you’re the father of my baby. Doesn’t that bother you?”

  “Not particularly. Should it?”

  “I’m sure the next time you ask some woman out and she hears the rumor—the false rumor—about your paternity, it’s going to bother her.”

  He shrugged. He hadn’t been dating anyone special lately. Hardly been dating at all, for that matter, and didn’t have anybody in mind he wanted to ask out.

  Except Stephanie. The thought popped into his head, startling him.

  “Guess that would be her problem, not mine.”

  “Well, it bothers me.” Whirling, she marched across the parking lot.

  Following at a slower pace, he jammed his hands into his jacket pockets and frowned. Dating Stephanie, now that was a new concept. Going to movies together, hanging out at the beach, taking bike rides up the coast.

  Kissing her.

  He reached her car as she slid into the driver’s seat, and he held the door open so she couldn’t close it in his face. “Why would it bother you so much if I was the father of your baby? I’m not such a bad guy.”

  “I didn’t mean you were a bad person. It’s just that—” She slipped the key into the ignition and turned it. All she got was a click.

  “You wouldn’t want to have my baby.”

  “I didn’t say that, either.” She tried the key again with the same result. “I don’t like the idea of somebody else getting blamed for my own stupidity.”

  He dropped down to his haunches beside the car. Instinctively he slid his hand across the swell of her belly. “Then under other circumstances you wouldn’t mind having my baby?”

  A shudder rippled through her, a reaction to his touch, not the baby moving. A good reaction, as though she enjoyed it.

  “Not much chance of that since you’ve always thought of me as a pest.”

  At the moment, he wasn’t thinking that at all. Instead he was considering the woman she had become—sexy in a mature feminine way. Maternal. Caring. Intelligent and creative. A woman with a problem. A pregnant woman he’d really like to kiss again.

  She turned the key. When still nothing happened, she sighed and leaned her head on the steering wheel. “My battery’s dead.”

  “Nope. Sounds like the starter solenoid to me.” Standing, he offered her his hand. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”

  “I’ll call for a tow.”

  “It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday night. Assuming you could get someone to tow you, you couldn’t get it fixed tonight anyway.” He reached across her into the car, pulled the key from the ignition and stood back. Granted, the battery connectors could have worked loose and that was the problem, not the solenoid going bad, but he didn’t want the breakdown solved that easily. “You’ve had a long day, Twigs. Let’s get you home so you can get some rest.”

  “You’re being bossy again.”

  “Yep, that’s my nature.”

  She wanted to argue some more. He could see it in the stubborn tilt of her jaw, the rigid set of her shoulders. He staved off the argument by taking her arm and gently tugging her from the car.

  “I’ll help you get it fixed tomorrow, okay?”

  Surrendering at last, she nodded. “I need to be able to get to work on Monday.”

  “No problem. You’ll be there with bells on to greet all your little ru
g rats. If worse comes to worse, you can use my wheels, and I’ll bike to the station house.”

  Meanwhile, Danny needed to give a lot of thought to the day’s revelations—the fact that he liked Stephanie a lot more than he should for a man who didn’t believe in commitment.

  DEFINITELY DÉJÀ VU.

  How many times had Stephanie hung around Danny’s yard while he was working on his or a buddy’s car, his head inside the engine compartment, his firm, rounded buns neatly framed between the fender and hood? Too many to count, she knew, and she shouldn’t be here now admiring the view she remembered so well.

  He and his young friend Tommy Tonka had hooked her car up to a towing cable this morning and hauled it to Danny’s driveway. Between trips to the autoparts store, they’d been puttering with it ever since, and she’d spied on them from her kitchen window until she couldn’t stand it any longer. She’d pulled on an old Paseo high school sweatshirt as protection against the cool spring breeze and strolled across the street.

  “Are you two sure you know what you’re doing?” she asked.

  “Tommy’s a genius when it comes to mechanical stuff.”

  “We’ve almost got it licked, ma’am.”

  Neither head appeared from beneath the hood, only their disembodied voices.

  “Are you sure I shouldn’t have it towed to a garage tomorrow? That might be easier.” And quicker, she suspected.

  “Too expensive,” Danny mumbled. “We’ll be done here in a minute.”

  “Yeah, but will my car run?”

  Danny’s head popped up, a streak of grease crossing his forehead at a rakish angle. “You gotta learn to have a little faith, sweetheart. It’s hard on a man’s ego when you doubt him.”

  “Like your ego needs a boost?”

  “Not mine. It’s Tommy here I’m worried about. I wouldn’t want you to scar the lad with your skepticism.”

  She sputtered a laugh. Danny Sullivan was an unrepentant rake. Worse, she loved his arrogance and ought to know better.

  Glancing up, she saw her father crossing the street.