Desired

by Bianca Giovanni

  “Mmm! Yes…oh!” She starts to whimper. “James, it’s gonna happen too fast. I want…I want you to come with me.”

  “I will, baby,” I assure her.

  “You’re…mmm…you’re gonna make me come too quickly,” she pants.

  “That’s okay, angel,” I whisper to her. “Go ahead and come. I’ll keep you going, and then I’ll come with you.”

  She likes when we both come at the same time, but I usually make her come first. I’m not sure if it’s because I know exactly what feels good to her or if it’s because she gets incredibly sensitive with me, but I can almost always get her off long before I’m ready to go. It’s awesome, though, because Lola’s one of those multiple orgasm kind of girls, and the more I give her, the more intense they get. Usually, by the third or fourth one, she’s squeezing me so hard that I have no choice but to come. I’ve never been with a girl whose body felt more perfectly matched for mine.

  “Oh!” she moans louder as she tenses up. “James!”

  I feel like a goddamn sex superhero when she says my name like that.

  Her heels press into me to push me deeper and her arms wrap around my waist to pull me against her as her body totally explodes with shivers. She moans in this soft way that’s simultaneously delicate and lustfully euphoric. She also smiles when she comes, which is so hot to me. I like when she gets this big, beaming grin on her face like I’ve just sent her into the fuckin’ stratosphere.

  “Yes, my sweet angel,” I breathe against her neck, feeling my muscles starting to tighten. “Feel it, baby.”

  She whimpers loudly, and I can feel her pulsing inside, which pushes me over the edge. I pant and moan her name as I give her everything I’ve got left and then rest on top of her out of breath.

  She turns her head and starts kissing my shoulder and my neck as I brush my hand up and down her thigh. There’s always a lot of post-sex caressing for us. That and a lot of meaningful glances and soft kisses. That’s the whole intimacy part of it, the part that’s new for me, and that I’m totally into. I find that the post-sex period can be just as good as the during-sex period with her because we have this closeness that makes every little touch of her fingers feel special.

  “I love you, Lola,” I say after a deep breath.

  “I love you too, James,” she whispers.

  I’ve noticed that she can be a little hesitant to tell me she loves me, though I don’t think it’s a conscious decision. Usually, she just says “I know” or gives me a kiss, but if we’re in bed together, then she’ll say it out loud to me—hell, sometimes she’ll scream it. A couple good orgasms and the truth comes out, eh, baby?

  I know she does love me, but I kind of think she’s afraid to lay it out there. What we have is so new that I think it scares her to admit how deep it is. Me, on the other hand, I really dig saying it to her, and I tell her every chance I get. I’ve never been in love before, never even had a serious girlfriend, and the whole thing is totally sweet for me. If I had my way, I’d put up fuckin’ billboards and start running TV commercials to tell everyone how much I love her.

  “Gimme a kiss.” I smile at her.

  She grins and holds my face in her little hands as she softly touches her lips to mine.

  I wrap my arms around her and roll her in one motion so she’s on top of me as I kiss her deeper.

  “You like me on top, don’t you?” she asks with amusement.

  “I like you any way I can get you, sexy girl. But, yeah, I do like you on top because I like to watch you take charge.”

  “Do you ever wish we did it more ways?” she says, and I can see just a hint of shyness. “Like, is there a position we haven’t done or that we don’t do a lot that you wish we did?”

  “Nope,” I answer honestly.

  “Come on, you can tell me,” she urges. “I promise I won’t freak out or anything. Is there something you’d change or something you secretly wish I’d do?”

  “No. I seriously like everything you do, and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

  “There’s nothing you’d…add?” she asks timidly as she takes my hand and slides it back from her hip onto her ass.

  “You mean…?” I ask with wide eyes. I know she’s scared to try anal, so this question is quite unexpected.

  “I just wonder if you miss…you know…the stuff you used to do,” she confesses.

  I laugh loudly and shake my head. She’s worried because she knows I’ve fucked around with kinky shit on shoots and stuff, and she wonders if I still want to do that. What she doesn’t get is that none of that shit could compare to something as seemingly unimportant as just kissing her because there’s way more behind my feelings for her than just the combination of horniness and available pussy. I love her, so that outweighs even the hottest of kinky shit.

  “Lo, the second I got with you, I never looked back,” I tell her.

  “Yeah, but don’t you think you’ll get bored eventually? I mean, you’re like Skittles, you’ve tasted the rainbow—”

  I burst into loud laughter at that analogy, and she gives me a playful little smack on the stomach.

  “You know what I mean!” She smiles. “I’m just saying, you’ve done pretty much everything that’s even legal to do, and now you’re stuck with me having what must feel like boring, bland, vanilla sex by comparison.”

  “Lola, I definitely wouldn’t classify anything we do as boring or bland. I feel like we reinvent sex every time we do it. A lot of these things are new for you, and it makes them feel new for me too.”

  “It’s just…those girls in your videos, you didn’t have to be as careful with them. You could fuck them any way you wanted and you could be rough if you felt like it. With me you’re so gentle. If you wanted to try it rougher or something, I could probably learn how to do it,” she timidly adds.

  “Lo, look at me when I say this to you, okay?” I begin. “I like being gentle with you. I like going slow and being tender. I like doing stuff just because it makes you happy, even if there’s no endgame for me. Maybe it’s vanilla sex, but I’ve found that vanilla sex can be more fun than crazy sex if the person you’re doing it with is someone you love. You make me love vanilla, baby. It’s my favorite flavor now.”

  She giggles, and I sit up and kiss her.

  “I love you, and I love making love to you. It’s my favorite thing in the world.”

  “Really?” she says with a sly grin.

  “Definitely! Your pussy is like…fuckin’…heaven or something.”

  She laughs loudly and flops forward so her head’s on my shoulder.

  “It is!” I chuckle as I give her a squeeze. “I would imagine that, if I died and they go, ‘Okay, James, you got into heaven,’ it would feel exactly like being inside you.”

  She almost snorts this time, and I feel her smile against my skin. I love the sound of her laugh. Who am I kidding? I love every-fuckin’-thing about her!

  She sits back up, looks at me, and sighs in this loving way like she’s grateful for me. I feel a swell of pride when she looks at me like this. Nobody cares about me as much as she does. It’s overwhelming to think that someone as perfect as her could love someone as imperfect as me.

  “I guess we should get ready for the party.” She smiles, playfully running her fingers through my hair and biting her bottom lip in that sexy-but-innocent way.

  “Yeah, you’re probably right,” I reply, reluctantly agreeing with her.

  She slides off of me, and I watch her beautiful body as she gets up from the bed. The curve that runs from her hip to her boobs is so gorgeous, like a priceless work of art.

  “Wanna take a shower?” she asks flirtatiously.

  “Yes, ma’am!” I nod, jumping out of bed to follow her into the bathroom.

  I’m tempted to go to the other side of the bar so I can watch her shower through the window, but I have a feeling that showering with her will be even better.

  Chapter 4

  Lola

  JAMES WEAVES H
IS FINGERS through mine as a waiter hands us both some champagne. I’m nervous, and I’m making a conscious effort not to drink too fast. I’m definitely not a big drinker, but I feel jittery right now and I want something to help me mellow out.

  We’re at the annual Adult Video Awards pre-show party, which takes place the evening before the main event, and everyone is buzzing with anticipation about their nominations. The vibe is actually pretty classy—think cocktail party versus bachelor party—but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re surrounded by porn stars and their nominations are for categories like Best Gang Bang. Still, they’re all acting respectably, and nobody’s jumped onto a table and started stripping…yet. Aside from all the fake tits and short skirts, you would assume this was just another trendy affair at a hip restaurant.

  I’m in my plum cocktail dress and simple, black, five-inch stilettos to try to overcome a bit of the height differential between James and myself. James is six-foot-five and I’m more than a foot shorter, so there’s only so much work these heels can do.

  My hair is down in natural loose curls—James loves it this way and I’m starting to love it too—and I’ve got a pair of small diamond studs in my ears, a gift I very reluctantly accepted from him. He knows I’m not a bling-bling kind of girl, but he said he really wanted to buy me jewelry. It was actually pretty sweet. I think he’s not exactly sure how to do the whole boyfriend thing, so he just assumes that necklaces and earrings are part of the role. It’s adorable to watch him try to portray the average, everyday, upstanding boyfriend. I adore him for who he is and I don’t need him to fit into any type, but I’ll let him roll with it if that’s what floats his boat.

  He’s looking particularly beautiful with his long hair falling in thick, shiny, chocolate brown waves that break on his shoulders. He’s got on light gray slacks and a black shirt with the top few buttons undone in that sexy, raw, I-pretend-like-this-was-accidental-but-I-know-it’s-hot sort of way that reveals just enough of his chest to make me consider skipping the party and going back to the room with him. Everything he puts on fits his build perfectly, and while I love the way he looks in worn out jeans and a T-shirt, I have to say, there’s something about seeing him in this slightly formal attire that makes my heart beat faster. Mature James. Professional James. Another layer of Sexy James.

  A pretty blonde whom I recognize from one of James’s nominated scenes spots us and comes over. Kayla Grey is her name, if I recall correctly. They’re up for an award together…something that kind of freaked me out…what was it? Ah yes, Best Anal. Fantastic. I’m sure this won’t be awkward at all.

  “James!” she squeals, throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a big kiss—on the lips!

  “Hey, Kayla!” he says warmly, completely comfortable with her overly affectionate greeting. “You look really nice. I like your hair like that.”

  She’s got it pinned up on one side with a big, black rose clip and the rest hangs down in curling-iron ringlets. The rose matches her very short black dress, which clings to her body and shows off all her assets. She’s pretty. Really pretty. And she’s up for an award for having anal sex with my boyfriend.

  “Kayla, this is my girlfriend, Lola,” he says, motioning to me.

  She throws her arms around me and hugs me, her chest pressing into mine. Fantastic, she’s all toned and her boobs are real. And…cue my jealousy.

  “It’s so nice to meet you!” she says gleefully. “I’ve heard so much about you, and I’ve seen your pictures on his Instagram. You’re, like, so pretty!”

  “Oh, wow, uh, thanks,” I say, surprised at her bubbly demeanor. This feels like something out of a teen movie.

  “Oh, my God, you have the best tits in the world,” she says, reaching out and giving them a squeeze—decidedly less teen movie now. “I wish mine were as big as yours. I’ve been debating having them done, but I’m not sure yet.”

  “No way,” James chimes in as she casually drops her hands from my chest. “Yours are nice, Kayla. They’re, like, a perfect handful, and you have really pretty nipples. A boob job could make them all off center. You shouldn’t fuck with ’em because they’re really good how they are.”

  Really, James? You felt this was the opportune time to compliment her on her allegedly “pretty” nipples?

  “Aw! Thanks, sweetie!” She smiles and kisses him—on the mouth again!

  I take a deep breath. She’s not trying to be rude about this and she probably doesn’t know how much this is annoying me. I’ve seen several people here exchange similar greetings—one guy even grabbed a girl and shoved his tongue down her throat before bidding her adieu and walking off with his girlfriend. I have to think about this like it’s a different culture, like how they kiss you on the cheek in Europe.

  “Is this your first award show?” she says, turning to me.

  “Yeah, first time, and I’m kind of nervous,” I confess.

  “Don’t be.” She waves her hand. “Everybody’s really nice, and we’re all just one big, happy family. You’ll probably make some new friends,” she adds with a wink. “I’m sure a lot of us would like to get to know you, since you’re down with us now.”

  James laughs, but disguises it with a cough. He slides his arm around my waist and pulls me against him. “Nah, I’m greedy, so I’m keeping her all to myself,” he says, giving me a sexy glance.

  “Well, if you change your mind, you know you guys are always welcome to join me and Jessica if you want.” She shrugs.

  “Okay. We’ll keep it in mind.” He looks like he’s trying not to laugh.

  We have a little light, cordial conversation, and then she kisses his lips and my cheek before departing for the bar.

  “Did she just offer us a threesome?” I ask James, my cheeks pink with embarrassment.

  “Sure did.” He nods. “I guess, technically, it was a foursome, since she wanted Jessica Star to be there too.”

  “Wow…that’s…okay then, that happened.” I’m a little shocked, but also pretty amused with the whole thing.

  “Welcome to the porn awards, cupcake.” He winks and puts his arm around me, pulling me in and kissing the side of my head.

  We mingle with some of his other co-stars, and I keep trying to avoid thinking about what he’s done with these girls. Oh, there’s the one he did the nominated threesome scene with. There’s the one from the Best Cunnilingus category. There’s that one who was his partner in the Best Facial scene. It’s times like this when I wish my boyfriend had a regular job. Maybe then I’d be thinking there’s the girl he worked with on that big project. There’s the one who helped him meet that deadline and get the contracts to the client on time. This is awkward. Bizarre and awkward. It’s like a haunted house filled with the Ghosts of Pussy Past.

  I sigh with relief when I spot Chad Rockwell, James’s dear friend and one of my favorite people on the planet. He’s sitting on a bar stool near the far side of the bar and looking completely nonchalant, effortlessly relaxing as he chats up the bartender.

  “Come on.” I tug on James’s arm as I make my way over to our handsome, lanky friend.

  “Baby doll!” Chad beams as he gets up to greet me. He swings me in a big circle and kisses my cheek. “You’re serving pure sex in this dress, sugar! My God! Look at that cleavage. Va va voom!”

  I giggle and blush a little as he scans me from my heels to my hair. Chad’s tall, lean, blond, and blue-eyed—absolutely beautiful and a total flirt, like James. But, unlike James, Chad is a superstar in the gay porn world and he has a wonderful boyfriend named Alejandro, who’s probably around here somewhere.

  “And this studly creature over here.” He reaches out to give James a big hug. “You look so mature in grown-up clothes,” he teases.

  James chuckles and bashfully looks down. He does look older and more responsible in this ensemble. Maybe that’s what I’m so drawn to tonight. This is Future James, the handsome, older man I’ll be with years from now.

  “Well, Brangelin
a, you guys psyched for the awards tomorrow?” Chad asks. “Your man’s up for the big one, sugar. You gonna start the standing ovation when he wins it?”

  “We don’t know if I’m gonna win it,” James modestly interrupts.

  “You know you are!” Chad rolls his eyes like he’s not buying the whole humble act. “It’s a given. You were in the hottest movie of the year and you’re retiring. They love to give people their last hurrah.”

  James shakes his head like he’s rejecting Chad’s prediction, but everyone we’ve talked to has shared this sentiment. If this were a presidential election, they would tell him to start writing his inaugural address.

  “Yeah, but what about you?” I nudge Chad with my hip. “You’re in the running for Best Gay Duo Scene, I hear.”

  “Yes, yes, I am pretty amazing. That’s a fact,” he jokes.

  I playfully poke his ribs. “And so modest too.”

  He gives me a little smack on the butt and then hugs me again, pressing his face into my hair with a playful growl.

  I think I’m like a shiny little toy for Chad. He’s always liked me a lot, and we’ve gotten along spectacularly since the day we met. He and Alejandro completely adore James. They’re like the protective, supportive big brothers he never had—since his real big brother, Jonathan, is an arrogant dick. When he moved out to LA, they made it their personal responsibility to look after him, and I think they’re proud of all he’s accomplished in his career. I’m proud of him too…sort of. Having sex on film is a weird thing to be congratulating someone about, but I know the Man of the Year nomination means a lot to him.

  “So, where’s your man?” I ask Chad.

  “He went over there to talk to Amber or somebody,” he says, waving his hand toward the windows. “Have a seat, sugar, and we’ll wait for him to get back.”

  He gets up from his stool and kindly offers it to me. I’m amused by the gentlemanly display, but I go ahead and sit down, since I’m the one in the uncomfortable heels. James stands slightly behind me, and he lightly strokes his fingers over the small of my back while the three of us chat about what to expect tomorrow night.