Gaming for Love

by Crystal Perkins

  I reach for him. “It wasn’t a lie, Scott.” I am starting to feel anger mixing with my hurt. Did he really just say that I am worse than Amber?

  “Don’t touch me, bitch. You had a good time manipulating me, didn’t you? Just doing what you wanted while you played me.”

  I lose it and don’t even know what I am saying until it is out of my mouth. “What I wanted? Really? Because I don’t remember ever wanting to have you tie me to your bed with game controllers and fuck me so that you could live out your teenage nerd fantasy.”

  “Whoa, man, you did that?” Owen says, breaking the silence around us.

  “Yeah,” Scott says with a sneer. “The slut will probably live out your fantasy, too, if you ask since you own part of the company. You want to put some paintbrushes up her pussy? Owen’s art is so cool, isn’t that right Yasmin?”

  “Scott!” Gary says sharply.

  I am slapping him before I even think about it. “You goddamn bastard.”

  “Get out of my house,” he says through clenched teeth, rubbing his jaw.

  “You think that you can talk to her like that and get away with it? I can have some guys here to kick your ass in minutes,” Candi snarls at him.

  “No, Candi. Leave him alone.”

  I look over at her and make sure that she sees that I mean it. “Fine. He’s not worth the call, anyway.”

  I grab my purse and turn to go as Alex and Maggie come outside carrying the cake. “We thought that you might have gotten caught up with your friends, so we decided to head out,” Maggie says and then notices the tension. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

  “I need to leave, Maggie. I’m sorry.” I look at the cake, covered in video game controllers and characters and wish that things were different.

  “You can’t go, Yasmin. We haven’t had cake and it looks like Uncle Scott hasn’t opened your present yet.” Alex looks so confused and my heart aches, thinking that I may not see her again.

  “I have to go, Alex. But, I need you to know something. No matter what happens and what you hear, I love you and I will always be here for you if you need me.”

  “I don’t understand. Yasmin, please don’t go.” Alex is crying now.

  I pull her close. “I have to, sweetie, I have to go.” I turn to Danny. “Can you give me a ride home?” He nods yes and I start to walk out of that house, leaving the broken pieces of my heart behind.

  “Before you go, Yasmin, I want you to know that you can’t buy the software. We won’t sell it to you,” Scott says to me in a cold voice.

  “She needs that program, Scott. Don’t do this to her.” I can hear the pleading in Erika’s voice as everything starts to spin.

  “I don’t give a fuck what she needs.”

  “You really are a bastard,” Sean says as I collapse against Danny.

  “Yasmin? Are you okay?” I think it is Danny asking me, but I can’t tell. I am barely holding on right now.

  “Just take me home, please.” I manage to say the words and make my feet work long enough to get out of there. Danny drives me to my house and walks me to the door. I convince him that I will be fine and he leaves. I fall to the living room floor and cry until I can no longer keep my eyes open. As I start to fall asleep, I realize that without the program, I am going to lose everything soon. Not just Scott, who I lost tonight. But, the store and my house, too. What will I do then?

  Chapter 21

  Scott

  It’s been a week since my party and we’re officially launching the software today. I haven’t had any contact with Yasmin and really anyone else since the party. I have stayed in my house, playing video games and looking for the signs I missed. I’m having trouble finding any, but I know that they are there. She is just a better actress than Amber.

  My phone rings and I see Zane’s name on the screen. “Hey, man what’s up?”

  “Just wanted to call and congratulate you on your launch. I know you have been working on this for a long time.”

  “Congrats Scott!” I hear Quinn yell in the background. “Put him on speaker.”

  “Thanks you guys, I appreciate the support.”

  “How are you, Scott?” Quinn asks.

  “Great for a guy who fell completely in love for the first time in his life only to find out that the woman he is in love with was using him. Oh, yeah and the girl before that used him too. I never realized how fucking pathetic that I am.”

  “Are you sure that she was using you? She seemed really into you when she was here. And she told Quinn that she loved you,” Zane says.

  “Her friends said that she has been talking about that program for over a month and planning on using it to save her store. How could she not have known who I was?”

  “I don’t know, Scott. But that scrapbook that she was making you looked pretty awesome. She sent me some pictures of it,” Quinn tells me.

  “What scrapbook?”

  “The one that she made you for your birthday.”

  “Oh, I never opened her present. We didn’t get that far.”

  “You should look at it, Scott.”

  “Lay off him, Quinn. He doesn’t need to forgive her just so you can stay friends with her,” Zane says to her.

  “Guys, don’t fight because of me. Please. I will get over this and everything will go back to normal.”

  “Don’t worry about us. When will you be back in Chi-Town?”

  “The whole family will be there in about three months. The charity that Erin and Dave supported wants to honor them and we’re accepting the award.”

  “That’s cool, man.”

  “It would be if I didn’t have to wear a tux and take out my piercings. The company PR people say that I should look presentable at this thing. I am proud to be accepting this award, though. My family is going to continue Erin and Dave’s contributions.”

  “That’s bullshit about the tux, but at least your family accepts you how you are even if your company doesn’t.”

  “I know. I lucked out in the family department. Listen guys, it was great to talk to you but I have to go get ready for the press conference. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  We say our goodbyes and I go put on a suit. I glance at Yasmin’s wrapped present on my hall table. What Quinn said has me curious, but, not enough to open it. Seeing whatever Yasmin did just feels like looking at another lie.

  * * *

  Yasmin

  “I can’t believe that Scott hasn’t called you to apologize,” Erika tells me.

  “I said things that I should be apologizing for too,” I remind her. “I can’t believe I told everyone about him tying me up.” I groan and drop my head into my hands.

  “That was pretty intense. I will never look at a game controller the same way again. In your defense, he did push you to say it,” Sam chimes in. I groan again and keep my head buried.

  We are having a girls’ night at Erika and Sean’s. They moved in together a couple of days ago. It may have seemed fast to me if she hadn’t admitted to me that they had been circling each other for the last couple of years and had even hooked up a few times before officially getting together last month. I’m really happy for them. They’re a great couple.

  It has been two weeks since the party. I feel the loss of Scott every day and I feel like it is slowly killing me. I also miss the rest of his family, especially Alex. She hasn’t been back to the store. I hope that she is okay and that if she is not, that she calls me. I meant what I told her, even though her family pretty much hates me, I care for her—and them.

  “That was some freaky shit, though. I didn’t know you had it in you,” Candi teases me. “You wouldn’t go to the sex shop with me but you act out some kinky fantasy?”

  “Can we talk about something else please?”

  “Back to the apologies, I still can’t believe that he would think you were using him. You are so not that type of person.” Erika rubs my back as I start to sob.

  I look up at my friends. “That is
what hurts the most. That he could think that I am capable of that. That I’m like Amber or in his words, worse than her. I love him so much.”

  “I want to apologize again for Justin starting this whole thing. You guys were right, he is an asshole,” Sam tells me.

  “Does that mean you are finally willing to give Danny a chance?”

  “Maybe I already have.” Seeing our shocked expressions, she continues, “We went out last night and it was awesome.”

  I reach over and hug her. “I am so happy for the two of you!”

  “What you need to do is find another man to fuck and get Scott out of your system. I know he is one hot guy, but there are plenty of better ones out there,” Candi says with certainty in her voice.

  “Like Owen?” I ask her. I know that they have seen each other at least once since the party.

  “I don’t kiss and tell. Well, I do, but not this time.” And that is all she will say.

  “I’m not ready for someone else yet. Besides, I need to focus on the store.” Everyone gets quiet and Erika turns on While You Were Sleeping. We watch it in silence. I don’t think anyone knows what to say to me. I don’t blame them.

  I honestly don’t know what I am going to do. Since I can’t buy the software, I didn’t take the second mortgage so I don’t have to worry about that at least. But ever since the other indies got the program, my internet sales have dropped. Online customers keep asking when we will get it and so do some of our regulars in the store. Everyone knows that in 3 weeks Amazon and B&N will have it. I am going to fight for my store with everything I have left in me, but there’s not even much of that.

  If my parents were alive, they would know what to do. I feel like a disgrace to their memory. Rationally, my brain knows that I am doing all that I can to save the store, but my emotions are not rational. I feel like if I lose the store or the house, that I will be losing a piece of them. I don’t have too many of those left.

  * * *

  Scott

  “I need some new books,” Alex says as we are eating breakfast.

  “I can take you to Barnes and Noble before I start to work on my new program,” I tell her.

  “Can’t we go to I Heart Books? Barnes and Noble has a good selection and the people are nice, but I miss Erika, Sam, Danny and Yasmin.”

  “No. We are not going there.” It has been three weeks now and what she doesn’t know, what no one knows, is that I drive by that store every night and watch Yas close up. I don’t want to do it and I even tried to skip one night, but my body didn’t get the memo and I was in the parking lot across the street before I knew it. I think that she saw me one night, she knows the Mustang, and I saw her stop for a moment and look straight at me. She shook her head and walked to her car, without another look.

  “Please. You can wait in the car. I miss it so much.”

  Before I can say anything else, my mom speaks up. “Do you want to go back to volunteering there, Alex?” I look at her like she is crazy.

  “Yes, I do. I miss the kids from story time and the other regulars. Can I please?” Alex looks so hopeful and I don’t want to take that away from her.

  “If Yas-Yasmin will have you back, I am okay with it.” I can’t say her nickname out loud. It’s too much.

  “Alright, then. School is about to start so you can’t be there too often, but maybe you can do one day after school and Saturdays,” my dad says.

  “Can we go ask her right now?” Alex jumps up out of her chair.

  “I can’t take you there, Baby Girl. I just can’t.”

  “Whatever happened, I’m sorry you are so sad, Uncle Scott. She’s such a good person, though.”

  I snort and my mom steps in before I can say something that will upset Alex. “I’ll take you, honey. Just let me grab my purse.”

  I hope that Yasmin will take Alex back. I know that she cares for her. Wait. How do I know that? I thought that she cared for me and I was wrong. But, I don’t think that I’m wrong about her feelings for Alex. She did stop and tell her that she would still be there for her when she was leaving the party. If she is just playing Alex too, she better be ready for Hell to rain down on her. I would destroy her without a second thought and I know that my family would back me up.

  * * *

  Yasmin

  I’m sitting at the cash wrap, staring at my empty store. I sent Danny home early since we have had maybe five people in to shop so far today. I officially canceled my registration for school. If I have any hope of staying open, I am going to have to work open to close and only have someone with me for a few hours a day. I asked everyone to meet me at the store tomorrow morning so that I can tell them that I have to cut their hours even more. I know that they are expecting it, but it still kills me to have to do it.

  The door opens and I slap a smile on my face to greet a customer. It’s not just a customer, though. It’s Alex and Maggie. I jump off of the stool and run for Alex. She meets me halfway and we hug, holding each other tight. “I missed you so much, sweetie.”

  “I missed you too! My grandparents said that I can come back and help one day a week and on Saturdays. Is that OK?”

  “Yes, of course. I would love for you to come back.” I kiss her on the forehead and taking a deep breath, turn to face Maggie.

  “Hello, Maggie.”

  “Hello, Yasmin.” Her voice isn’t as cold as I thought it would be, but it’s not exactly warm.

  “Thanks for letting Alex come back here. I truly did miss her and she’s always welcome here.”

  “I believe that you do care about my granddaughter. I don’t think your reaction to seeing her could be faked.” She pauses and then sighs before continuing. “But, as much as I like you, my son has to take priority. He believes that you deceived him and I have to take his side. Gary and the rest of the boys feel the same way. None of us will have anything to do with you, other than dropping off and picking up Alex. That’s just the way that it has to be.”

  “I understand.” And I do. I can’t stop the tears from forming, though. I look away, but I know that Maggie can see. I don’t want to make this any more difficult for her than it has to be, so I force myself to smile as I say to Alex. “Do you want to start this Saturday? You can do story time.”

  “That would be awesome. Can I look at books for a few minutes, Grandma?”

  “Yes, I will wait for you in the coffee shop next door. Take your time.” Maggie gives me one last, sad smile and walks out of the store.

  Alex spends an hour looking at all of the new books that have come in and brings a stack to the register. I ring her up and she turns to go, but then stops. “No one will tell me what happened between you and Uncle Scott, but I know that he thinks that you betrayed him. Did you, Yasmin? Please tell me the truth.”

  I look her in the eye and reply honestly. “No, sweetie, I didn’t.”

  “I didn’t think so.” She hugs me and heads out the door.

  I slump against the counter. At least someone in her family believes me.

  Chapter 22

  Scott

  I am hanging out with my family today at my parents’ house. It has been three weeks since Alex went back to working at the bookstore. I know that she is happier and I am glad. I haven’t gone into the store and I can’t even take her there for her shifts, but I still drive by every night. My dad just dropped her off there about a half hour ago, so I am surprised to see Alex walk into my parents’ kitchen with Erika.

  “Are you okay, Baby Girl? Why are you home so early? And why didn’t you call one of us to pick you up?” I move toward her, worried.

  “Stay away from me. I kind of hate you right now.” My eyes go wide and I know that my jaw drops.

  “Alex, what is wrong with you? Apologize to your uncle!” my dad orders her.

  “I should go. Alex asked me to bring her home because she wasn’t feeling well when she got to the store.” Erika starts to back away and Alex grabs her arm.

  “What I am feeling is piss
ed. I heard you and Yasmin talking.”

  “What did you hear, Alex? I thought you just came into the backroom when the door slammed.”

  “No, I was back there putting my purse away when I heard you. I know I shouldn’t have eavesdropped but since everyone treats me like a baby and won’t tell me everything that was said the night of Uncle Scott’s party, I had no choice.”

  “Trust me, Alex, you don’t want to know everything that was said that night.” Owen is laughing and I glare at him.

  “What did you hear, Alex?” Erika asks her again, ignoring him. “Maybe you misunderstood what we were saying.”

  “I didn’t misunderstand. You said that Yasmin has sold most of her furniture and her car and that you didn’t want to take a paycheck because you knew that she wasn’t eating and couldn’t afford groceries. You also said that she is going to take an offer on her house that will give her only enough money to keep the store open for another month. And that if Uncle Scott had let her buy his program, this wouldn’t have happened.”

  “Holy shit.” I look at Erika. “She sold her car? How is she getting to and from work? And she’s not eating?”

  “She takes the bus as far as she can and walks the rest of the way. And, no, she doesn’t eat unless we force her to. She has no extra money.”

  “She walks at night, alone? Her neighborhood is nice but the surrounding area isn’t. She can’t do that.”

  “She doesn’t have a choice, Scott.”

  “I heard more,” Alex tells us and then continues. “You said that my family should have seen that you were surprised when you realized that Uncle Scott was her boyfriend. Then, Yasmin said that he should have seen how shocked she was, too and everyone should have believed her when she said that she didn’t know that he created the software program that she needed. You called Uncle Scott a bastard, but Yasmin said that he was a good man and she hated the thought of him being hurt because he thinks she used him. And that even if it’s not true, that the hurt was real to him. She was crying really hard by then.”

  “She really said that?” I ask. “She said that I was a good man? She defended me?”