Surviving the Fall

by Brittney Sahin

  But then she stole a glance at Jake, and her heart truly fluttered. “Thank you so much. Eh, muchos gracias.” She forced a smile and a nod toward Cristiano.

  “De nada. Now, come this way.” Cristiano stepped back and extended his arm in the direction of the stairs.

  Jake’s hand pressed to her back as she followed Cristiano up the steps. A group of men appeared below, exiting from a hallway under the stairs. They looked like bodyguards, with their dark clothes and well-muscled bodies.

  Once on the second-floor landing, Cristiano pushed open the third door on the right and gestured for Alexa to enter. Jake followed close behind her.

  The room was opulent, which was no surprise. A four-poster, king-sized bed took up the middle of the wall, with ivy and gold twining through the bedding.

  Alexa sighed as she crossed the room to look out the large, expansive window. It was too dark to appreciate the horizon, but the pool down below was glowing with light. Even from above, the water appeared to drop right off the edge of the property, feeding down the cliff and into the sea where a few lit-up boats decorated the water.

  Alexa’s eyes caught Jake’s in the glass, and she realized Cristiano had left them. She liked that the Spaniard was a man who didn’t press. Then again, he was probably glad to avoid any questions about himself.

  Jake touched the glass, and then lowered his forehead until it rested against the window. “When this is over—tomorrow, maybe—we’ll need to talk. For now, we should get some rest.”

  Oh. The gravity in his voice was like a poke of hot iron against her flesh.

  As he started to turn away, she caught him by the arm, and he looked down at her, his brown eyes steadying on her slowly as if it hurt to look at her. “And what if this doesn’t end well?” she whispered.

  Jake had been the only man who had come close to provoking her to think of the future, even though they’d spent only one week together up until now. She had thought she was crazy for feeling that way after such a short time—she had shrugged it off as intense lust. But now, with him standing right beside her, she knew without a doubt there had been a connection between them from day one. In all this time, it had only amplified.

  “We’ll get through this. Trust me,” Jake said after a long minute.

  She pressed a hand to her cheek and spun away from him, too much of a coward to confront him with what she wanted to say. “I need you to understand why I did it,” she pleaded.

  “I don’t need to know. I get it.” His voice was eerily calm but had an understated disappointment that she could feel in her bones.

  Alexa sank on the bed, bracing her hands against her thighs as she looked up at him. He casually leaned his back against the window and angled his head to the side, studying the floor instead of her. “I’m sorry I lied to you, but I didn’t want you to be angry at me.”

  “And I get it—just don’t lie to me again. We need to be straight with each other if we want to take down Anarchy.”

  She chanced another look and saw his hand at his thigh, massaging ever so slightly. When his eyes caught hers, he dropped his hand. He didn’t want her to know that he was in pain. She hated that. “Are you okay?” It was a stupid question.

  “You should get some sleep. I’ll take the floor.”

  “What? Are you bloody nuts?” She popped to her feet and came in front of him, and he took two steps back. “If you can’t stomach the idea of sleeping next to me, I’m sure there’s another bed you can sleep in,” she said, spreading her arms wide, “somewhere in this massive home.”

  His brows pulled together, and his hand swooped up to cover her wrist, gently pushing her arm back down. His jaw ticked as he stared into her eyes, his chest heaving with a deep breath. “I’m not leaving you alone in this house. Who the hell knows who that man really is.”

  She almost laughed. “I thought you said he was fine.”

  “Sure. Look at this place,” he grumbled, releasing his grip on her. He turned his back and faced the window.

  The tension weakened a little, but Alexa still didn’t think they were where they needed to be. They were going to have to depend on each other for survival. They would have to trust one another.

  She closed her eyes for a moment and whispered, “Sleep with me.”

  “No,” he quickly growled out the word.

  “Why not?” Her eyes opened. “I don’t want to shag.” She perked a brow, trying to lighten the mood a little.

  But he wasn’t smiling when he looked at her in the window’s reflection. His body remained stiff, radiating unease. “I need to accept the fact that there will never be a you-and-me,” he said as he turned, running his fingers through his hair.

  And yet, wasn’t that exactly what she wanted right now? To throw out her rules, to ignore the thousands of kilometers separating them? “I was an idiot last year. I’m sorry.” She swallowed and took a step closer.

  Jake placed a fist over his heart and looked up at her with hooded eyes. “I looked for you, Alexa. Even after you turned me down before I went back to Dallas—insisting it could only be a fling . . . even after you said your goodbye—I didn’t give up.”

  Alexa’s heart landed in her throat. “You . . . what?”

  His hand uncurled, dropping to his side. “I used my government pull to try and find you. But I only had a few photos on my phone to go on and no last name or address.” He half-grunted his anger and scrubbed a hand over the growth on his jawline. “Now I know why we never went to your place in the city last year. Or why, with all my government contacts, I couldn’t figure out who you were.”

  She was gutted at that moment.

  “You see, Alexa, now that I remember everything, I know the truth. I know that I tried to find you. But you didn’t fight for me at all.” His face was close to hers, and her body trembled with anger at herself. She despised her fear so much that she could hardly breathe.

  “I did want you.” She paused. “I still do want—”

  “But you’re a spy, so . . .” He went over to the bed and sat down, shaking his head as he did. He raised his hands, palms clasped and pressed his fingertips to his forehead.

  Maybe Jake had been right to put this conversation off until after the OP. She was so rattled that she felt like dropping to her knees and crying. How could she fight @Anarchy if she felt she could hardly stand?

  “I never thought you would look for me,” she said after a few moments of silence.

  “Well, I’m not the kind of man to let a woman like you get away.” His words had become thicker as he spoke them, the Southern drawl a little more noticeable as emotion cut through.

  “Jake.” She edged toward the bed, but was too afraid to sit next to him, worried he’d spring up and move away from her. If he did, she wouldn’t blame him.

  He lowered his hands to his lap, but defeat wasn’t splayed over his face. Jake might be angry with her, but he still wasn’t a quitter.

  “God, Alexa, I want to be pissed at you. Despite everything we’re dealing with, I still want to be stone cold pissed. Because I cared more about you than you did about me.” As he slowly rose to his feet, her breath hitched. Her nerves tangled, ready to snap. “But in all honesty, I can only be upset that you lied to me in Montana. How could I hate you for the choice you made? We both put country first. That’s who we are.”

  Her body was going to give out beneath the weight of his words. “It has to be country first,” she said as her shoulders sagged. Although she may not be MI6 for much longer.

  “You deserve a life, though. I hope you know that.” He cupped the back of his neck and his gaze narrowed. “I hope it’s not too late before you wake up remembering that you’re a person in this world, too . . . and you’ll end up having to save yourself.” With that, he started for the door.

  “Where are you going?” she asked, her body growing stiff at the thought of him leaving.

  “To find another room.” He peered over his shoulder at her.

  She l
owered her head at his words and tried to garner the strength she needed. “I thought you wanted to stick together.”

  “Looks like you’re tough enough to take care of yourself, right?”

  But she didn’t want to be. She wanted to be safe and secure, with his arms encircling her. “I need you,” she said as his hand rested on the brass knob.

  His hand slid up the wooden door and pressed at the center as if he were trying to keep himself upright. “Don’t do this, Alexa. I asked you to be straight with me.”

  “I am, Jake. I haven’t thought I needed anyone, not since my dad died.” They were words she’d never verbalized before, and she was worried she’d choke on her emotions as they wedged in her throat. “I was the strong one in my family. I held my mum’s and sister’s hands at Dad’s funeral, and I kept us together after he passed. I had to stay strong, so they wouldn’t fall apart.” Alexa’s eyes were like steamed glass—she could hardly see through them. “And even after everything I went through with Jason . . .”

  She swiped at the fallen tears on her face and moved toward the door where he stood, his back to her. “I need someone tonight.” She released an angry hiss. “Not just someone. I mean—I need you.” She could feel the spider’s web of cracks forming in her as she bared her weakness to him. “Please, Jake.”

  As her knees buckled beneath her and she gave in to the desire to fall, Jake’s arms came around her, pulling her tight against him, lifting her up. He brought her to the bed and scooted up next to her, locking his arms around her, resting her face against his chest as she cried. His hands slipped through her tangled, dark hair as he kissed the top of her head.

  “I’m sorry. This isn’t like me.” I’m not supposed to be weak.

  “Tell me about him,” Jake said after a few minutes, once her tears had turned to sniffles.

  Alexa shifted back to look up at Jake, but he didn’t loosen his grip on her. She was tucked away and safe in his arms as if the rest of the world and all of its craziness were backdrops for someone else’s life.

  She gulped, bringing her hand between their two bodies to wipe away the makeup beneath her eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t be an agent right now if he was alive.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  She smiled. “Yeah. He was overprotective, and I kind of adored being his princess.” A slight chuckle tumbled from her lips. “I know. How’d I go from Daddy’s Princess to a counterterrorist spy?”

  “Princess. Terrorists.” He squinted one eye. “Nope, not a stretch.”

  “Ha. Sure.” She tipped up a shoulder before relaxing back into his embrace. “My dad would have lost his bloody mind if I had told him I was going to be a spy.”

  “What did he want you to do?”

  “I was in school for computers, so he knew I’d be getting a tech job. My sister would have made him proud, though.”

  “She’s an artist, right?”

  “You remember?”

  “Hell, I remember everything about everything right now. Some things I wish I didn’t . . .”

  She couldn’t begin to imagine. “Lori had her first official gallery opening in Rome a few months back. She’s brilliant. And she has a baby boy now.” A squeeze of jealousy filled her heart. But would those things ever be possible for Alexa? A family? Kids?

  He kissed her forehead, then brushed his thumb down her cheek as he held her gaze—and a fluttering in her chest that swept to her stomach had her feeling a glimmer of hope about the future.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Alexa and Jake were at the Caltanissetta Xirbi railway station in Sicily. They’d taken a flight from Barcelona to Palermo before boarding the train to reach their final destination.

  Cristiano had accompanied them to the private jet hangar before his guards, who carried themselves like military men, or all around bad asses, had flown with them to Italy. The guards had to have been packing, Alexa had decided when she saw the slight bulge beneath their blazers.

  But the men were helping her, so she wouldn’t complain. And Cristiano had supplied them with enough euros to last them a month in Vegas. Now that was a trip she could have used right about now.

  Jake opened the locker and reached inside. His friend Ben would be in later that night. Getting from Vegas to Italy took time, after all. And, since time wasn’t on their side, Ben had arranged for an old friend in the Air Force, who was stationed at the Sigonella base, to leave a computer at the hotel room they planned to stay in. She hoped Ben had been able to access the case files.

  “Okay. We’ve got the hotel key and location. And the safe combination. Now let’s hope a USB with those files we need is in the safe,” Jake said while shutting the gray locker door. “Otherwise, you’ll be breaking a couple of laws by hacking into the NSA—or the CIA.” A brief smile skirted his lips as he pushed his glasses closer to his face. He had borrowed a razor from Cristiano to shave his beard, and his clean-shaven jaw was smooth, his firm lips beautifully prominent. His dimples seemed deeper than she remembered when he smiled. Not that he had smiled much today. Not until now, at least.

  “I’m just relieved you have a friend who could pull all of this off for us in such a short period,” she said as they began exiting the station.

  “How are you holding up?” Jake asked as they waited at the curb for a taxi, stealing a glimpse of her over his shoulder.

  “I’m as good as I can be, but I still think your friend could have stayed in Vegas,” she said.

  “I might need back up.”

  She scoffed. “You think I would let you go after these guys alone?”

  Then again, where would they get a team? And Bekas had God knew how many armed men. Even with Ben at his side, it would be a suicide mission. The thought of Jake dying ripped at her heart.

  “I faced these guys before and got away.”

  “And got yourself nearly blown up,” she said as Jake opened the door for the taxi when it pulled up in front of them, and he waited for her to slide in before following suit. He read off the address to the driver.

  “No English,” the driver responded, so Jake handed over the paper with the hotel address on it, hoping it would make sense to him.

  The man had looked back at them in the rearview mirror and nodded, before pulling out onto the street. She braced the seat in front of her with the jerking motion—and she thought drivers in London were bad. Jeez.

  Jake’s hand was suddenly resting on her thigh, and her lip caught between her teeth, her heart fluttering like leaves blowing hard in the wind.

  “I don’t want anything happening to you,” she whispered at last.

  “What? You care about me or something?” he asked.

  When she looked up at him, he was watching her, eyes hooded.

  “Or something,” she murmured.

  Alexa punched in the combination to the safe.

  “Is it in there?” She glanced up at Jake as he came up behind her and withdrew her arm from the safe.

  “Yeah.” She clutched the drive to her breast and let out a sigh of relief. “Let’s see what’s on here.”

  She started for the living area, where Ben’s friend had left a laptop for them. How much time would they have before Bekas followed through with his plan?

  Then she felt the touch of Jake’s hand on her wrist.

  “What?” she asked softly, turning to face him.

  His body was tense, his arms locked at his sides. “I want to say something before I forget. Before things get intense.” His features softened. “I’m sorry I got upset last night. I was overwhelmed with what happened at the hotel. My memories all crashing back on me like that . . . I was feeling a whole lifetime of hurt.”

  She lowered her head, not able to look at this strong, sweet man. A man who could set her body on fire with a simple touch. “No, Jake.” Her gaze traveled over his V-neck sweater now that he’d removed the blazer, admiring the tightness of his muscles beneath the fabric. “So much of what you said is true, and I hope that, after this . . .
” If we survive. “I hope that we have a chance to figure out what this thing is between us.”

  Of course, she already knew what she felt.

  Still holding her wrist, Jake gently tugged her toward him until her body pressed up against his chest. He tipped her chin up and sealed his lips over hers. Heat and desire threaded through every fabric of her being. It pulsed heavy and thick in her veins. With that kiss, she felt him inside of her, in her soul.

  A moment later he stepped back. She didn’t want to ever stop, but she was standing in Italy trying to thwart a terrorist attack—this wasn’t some fairy tale. “What was that for?” she asked once she caught her breath. “For luck?” She smiled.

  He wrapped a hand around her waist, keeping her close to him. Where else would she go? She was his. She had known it a year ago, even though she had pushed him away.

  “Luck?” He squinted a little and his mouth curved up. “I don’t need luck. I’ve got this.”

  “Oh, yeah?” His sexy confidence was nearly electric, and a little contagious.

  She knew now, for sure, that Jake Summers was back.

  “Yeah.” He brushed the back of his hand down her cheek. “Because I have you.”

  Her heart almost leaped out of her chest at his words. In the faint lines around his dark brown eyes, forgiveness was etched. She realized that he accepted her for who she was—even for her mistakes. And that was rare.

  His eyes smoldered as a look of passion—or maybe love?—spread across his face. Was it . . . love? God, this is crazy.

  “Let’s do this, Alexa.” His fingers slipped to twine with hers. “You ready?”

  Am I? She tightened her grip around the USB in her other hand. “After we take down these bastards, how about you and I have a drink?”

  He shot her a full smile.

  “On a beach. With a little umbrella in the drink.” She pressed a quick kiss to his lips, and then backed away, trying her best to get back into the right mindset. It was time to take down @Anarchy.

  She sat in front of the computer and plugged in the device. “It will take a few minutes for me to decrypt the files,” she said. “Is there coffee in here?”