Nate was lucky to just be in her presence. He held her tight praying for a tenth of her strength, so he might be strong enough to keep going, when she could not.
Cami
Camille reveled in the warmth Nate spread through her. She could still feel the echoes of fireworks beneath her skin. Making love to Nate in the ocean had been a form of magic she didn’t know existed. She was currently lying next to him, reliving every moment of their night together.
As if the night wasn’t already everything she’d ever hoped for and more, Nate had surprised Camille further by carrying her from the ocean to the truck where the entire bed of the pickup was full of blankets, cushions and pillows. Nate had dried her off, wrapped her in a blanket and climbed into the bed of the truck with her. And Camille had never felt more at peace, as she lay there, wrapped in Nate’s arms gazing up at the stars.
It was a rare cloudless night, and the sky glittered with winking starlight. It reminded Camille of the dress Nate bought her for prom. He was the most thoughtful person she’d ever met. The way he constantly surprised her was mind-boggling. And as she looked at him, his face turned up to stare at the heavens, she wondered how she’d ever managed without him.
Thinking of herself without Nate was like listening to a song missing a chord. The thought struck Camille and her heart faltered. Nate turned to look at her, as if he somehow sensed her sorrow. The grief she witnessed in the shine of his eyes was impossible to bear. She knew she was breaking his heart, because she too was shattering apart and Nate was the only thing holding her together.
This wasn’t part of the plan. She was never supposed to fall in love. Love made everything impossible. And for the first time, Camille could name her fear. She realized that she wasn’t afraid to die, but to die afraid. If she let go now, she would always regret it. She owed it to Nate to fight. She owed it to herself.
Nate’s hand brushed her cheek, catching the tears she hadn’t realized she’d shed. “Cami?”
She grabbed his hand and pulled it to her lips, kissing his knuckles. “I love you, Nate.”
“I love you, too.” His eyes searched hers. “Are you okay? Do you want to go inside?”
“Not yet.” She sat up and so did he.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to tell you something.”
“Okay.”
Nate took her hands, warmth and patience present in every touch.
Camille didn’t know how to start. She closed her eyes. “I never planned for this. I never planned to fall in love with you. But now . . .” She took a shuddering breath and let the rest of the words tumble out in a rush. “But now all my plans are ruined. I’m ruined. But I’m grateful for it. Because you showed up with your ridiculous smile and your chaos and you showed me what it’s like to be alive. You make me want to forget my plans, Nate. You make me want to live.”
Camille watched her words register on Nate’s face. Even with the moonlight washing the world pale, she could see the color drain from his cheeks.
“Cami . . . what are you saying?”
“I want to fight, Nate. I don’t know how much more time it will give us, but I want to fight for every second.”
His voice was so soft that she barely heard him over the crash of the waves. “You want to fight?”
She nodded. “I want to fight.”
Nate threw his arms around her and pulled her into a trembling embrace. “Oh thank God,” he whispered, tears streaking down his face.
In that moment Camille knew it had never really been a choice. She couldn’t leave Nate of her own free will. He was her heart, and it wouldn’t beat without him.
42
Cami
Camille woke up to Nate drawing open the blinds of their hotel room. The floor-to-ceiling windows overlooked the ocean and he scrambled back over to watch the sunrise with her from their bed. She drank in his familiar warmth as he settled under the covers, pulling her into his arms.
“This is perfect,” he whispered, kissing her behind her ear.
Camille’s toes curled whenever Nate did that. Last night after she’d told him she wanted to fight for them, he’d carried her up to their hotel room and made love to her again. In the night they’d spent together, he’d perhaps kissed every inch of her body, but the delicate skin behind her ear was strangely her favorite.
“You are perfect,” she said, pulling him closer. She turned to face him, snuggling into his chest.
“How are you feeling?” he asked for about the tenth time.
“Perfect.”
Nate peeled himself away so Camille had to look into his eyes. They glowed like honey, crinkling as he grinned. He hadn’t stopped smiling since she told him she’d changed her mind and wanted to fight her cancer.
“You’re sure?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“And you’re still sure about everything you said last night?”
“More sure than ever.”
Nate was practically giddy. “So, what do we do first?”
“Well, I guess we go home and tell my parents. Then I go back to my oncologist to see where I’m at and what my options are.”
“Do you want to call now?” Nate asked excitedly.
Camille blushed. “I sorta already did.”
“What do you mean?”
“I made an appointment the day before prom.”
Nate stared at her, blinking in shock.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you right away. But it wasn’t something I wanted to say over the phone and you were running around making all of this happen,” she said gesturing to the hotel room. “Plus, I don’t want to get your hopes up.”
“Too late,” he said pulling her into his arms. “And don’t be sorry. I don’t care how or when you told me, only that the ticking time bomb has stopped.”
“Paused,” she corrected. “I’m not going to get better, Nate. This is about fighting to hold on for as long as I can.”
The sentence was sobering and Nate sat up, pulling Camille into his lap. “Cami, I only want you to do this if it’s what you want.”
“It is, Nate. More than anything. I just don’t want to give you unrealistic expectations.”
“Cami, you gave me hope. And that’s enough.”
Nate
The drive home to New Orleans was exhilarating. A huge weight had been lifted off Nate’s chest. He held Camille’s hand with renewed life. He couldn’t believe she’d changed her mind. When they’d talked earlier that morning, a tiny kernel of doubt that maybe she’d change her mind again had crept up, but he’d slammed it down easily. It was nothing compared to the demons he’d been battling over the past few months. Now he felt free and he couldn’t rein in his excitement.
“We can do anything we want. We can even go to Paris for real now.”
Camille giggled.
“Don’t laugh. I’m serious. We need to make outrageous plans. We need something to look forward to.”
“How about spending more time with my amazing boyfriend?”
“No, think bigger!” Nate yelled over the sound of the road rushing by.
“Well, Paris is pretty big.”
“That’s the spirit. Let’s do it. Let’s go to Paris. It’ll be our graduation present to each other.”
“Nate. Be real. We can’t just go to Paris.”
“Why not? Cami, there’s a great big world out there and I want to see it with you. We have time now. And we can’t waste it. I want to fill every wall in your room, hell every wall in your house, with all the things we want to do together.”
Camille frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“I was just thinking, do you think you’ll still be allowed to stay in my guest house?”
“Cami, I’m pretty sure you have a get-out-of-jail-free cancer card for the rest of your life. Your parents are going to be so happy you decided to fight for more time they’re not gonna care about anything else.”
“Huh.” She looked t
houghtful for a moment. Then a bright grin slid across her face. “Maybe we really can go to Paris.”
Cami
Nate was right. Camille’s parents would let her get away with just about anything at this point. They’d been in tears when she and Nate came home and she told them she’d decided to go back to her doctor to work on a treatment plan that would give her as much time as possible. They didn’t even shoot down Nate’s crazy suggestion that they could go to Paris for real now.
Guilt gnawed at Camille as she heard the relief and joy in her parents’ voice. She hadn’t realized how much her decision was hurting them. It made her chest ache. Of course she knew they didn’t want to lose her. They were her parents—no parent ever wanted to lose a child. But despite Camille’s change of heart, she knew her parents would still outlive her. And when that time came, she’d hoped they would feel relief. That when she was gone a burden would be lifted from them.
But now, as she let her parents hold her, sobbing with joy, she realized how wrong she’d been. She may have bought more time, but she couldn’t go back and fix her past mistakes. And no matter how many days she cheated from her disease, she would never be ready to say goodbye.
43
Nate
The last week of school flew by in a flurry of excitement, and not just because of Camille’s renewed determination to fight for her life, but because they’d made it. They were graduating—him and Cami. They’d finished their last class today and had the rest of the week off before the ceremony on Saturday. Nate’s mom was flying in for the celebration and he couldn’t wait to introduce her to Camille.
Her parents were planning a graduation party at their house after the ceremony and invited Nate’s parents to attend. Nate made himself useful by helping prepare for the party. That is, when he could tear himself away from Cami. She’d seemed tired lately and he was worried she was overdoing it.
Camille blamed her exhaustion on the excitement of graduation and all their future plans. She’d applied to Tulane and the dean at NOAH pulled a few strings to get her accepted. Nate and Camille were going to college together!
He couldn’t believe how much his life had changed in just a few days. They were currently pouring over the course catalog at Café Beignet while Nate polished off a plate of sugary pastries.
“So when do we have to finalize our classes?” Camille asked.
“We have a little time,” Nate said. “But, I was thinking, if we’re gonna go to Paris, we should probably submit our class selections as soon as possible.”
“Nate . . .”
“What? My parents said they’d buy me a ticket for graduation. And you know your parents would buy you a ticket to the moon if you asked for it.”
“I know.”
“So what’s stopping us?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. It’s just surreal. For so long I didn’t think I’d even make it to graduation. And now, it’s almost dizzying to have all these possibilities.”
Nate scooted his chair closer until Camille’s knees were between his. He gave them a squeeze. “Anything’s possible, Cami. You taught me that.”
“You really think we can do it? Paris? College?”
Nate kissed her. “And more.”
She sighed. “Okay. But I hope you know you’ve created a monster. Because I want it all, Nate. I want you and Paris and this every single day,” she said kissing him again.
He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her passionately, not caring about their borderline scandalous display of public affection. Camille LaRue was Nate’s world, and he wanted everyone to know it. She’d chosen him and they’d survived against all odds. If that wasn’t something to be celebrated, nothing was.
“Okay, it’s settled,” Nate said after he came up for air. “You know what that means?”
“What?”
“It’s time to make a plan,” he teased.
“You joke, but you’ll be thanking me when all our classes match up and we earn sightseeing badges on Tripadvisor for seeing more of Paris than most Parisians.”
Nate laughed. “Nothing would make me happier than to watch you plan your little heart out.”
“Good. Then it’s settled. We’ll meet here tomorrow to finish picking classes and start our Paris plan.”
“It’s a date.” Nate looked at his watch. “I better go. My mom’s flight gets in soon and I told her I’d bring her one of Ronnie’s famous donuts. Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”
“I would, but I told my parents I’d try on my cap and gown so they can take photos. They want to have one framed at the party for everyone to sign.”
“That’s a great idea.” Nate smirked. “Maybe I’ll stop by later and take some of my own.” He gave her a wink. “More cap, less gown.”
Cami rolled her eyes.
Nate pulled her into a hug. “Okay, gotta go. Until our next hello.”
Cami
“Dad, I’m pretty sure you’ve captured the perfect photo,” Camille whined.
She’d been posed in just about every room of her house. With her cap, without it. With Poo, with each of her parents and even some of all of them with the help of his tripod and timer.
Secretly, Camille was having fun. It reminded her of when she was little and her father would try to take a family photo for the annual Christmas card. The photos that ended up getting scrapped were always her favorite. Ones where Poo was barking or her father was a blurry image running into the scene. And then there were the ones that captured them laughing or folding a collar or tucking back a piece of hair. She loved the little moments that captured their love best.
At some point during her teenage years, Camille realized the reason her father took so many photos. He wanted a way to remember her—to preserve his memory of all their moments as a family. She couldn’t fault him for it, but it made each photo session melancholy. But Camille had continued the charade of pretending the photos were a bother. She knew her father looked forward to fussing over lighting and laughing at the silly faces she made. If she smiled and went along with him, it would steal half the fun.
Camille was trying to get Poo to wear her graduation cap, much to his irritation. He was growling as she posed next to him making kissy faces. Her father snapped away while her mother tried to contain her laughter.
“That’s animal abuse,” a voice called through the courtyard.
Camille turned to see Nate striding toward them dressed in a red cap and gown that matched hers.
“Nate! What are you doing here?” she exclaimed, running into his arms while her father continued to take photos.
“My mom’s flight got delayed. She’s not getting in until late tonight. So, I decided to crash the photo shoot, if that’s okay?” Nate asked looking over her head toward her parents.
“Of course!” her father said, greeting Nate with a handshake.
Her mother gave Nate a hug. “You look so handsome, Nathan. Can we get a few photos of you and Camille together?”
“Of course,” he replied.
“Mom, can you take some with my Polaroid, too?”
“Sure, honey.”
Camille, Nate and her family spent the last of the afternoon light snapping photos and making silly faces. One of Camille’s favorite photos turned out to be of Nate chasing Poo after he’d started to carry off his graduation cap. Her father had joined in the chase and Camille and her mother laughed until they had tears in their eyes.
After the photo session they all sat down to have dinner together in the courtyard. The weather was starting to warm up and Camille lounged under the strings of white lights, holding her stomach. Her father made his famous crawfish crepes and she’d eaten herself silly.
Nate was eating what she’d left on her plate. “Ray, these are phenomenal.”
“Thanks, Nate. Cooking is just like making music. Both fill your soul.”
“Well said, honey,” her mother said, leaning over to kiss her father.
Camille gro
aned. “You guys are so cheesy.”
“If by cheesy you mean in love, then yes,” her father teased. “But speaking of love and music, can I convince you two to play us a little something tonight?”
“Oh, Dad . . .”
The protests of everyone at the table made Camille laugh. She knew a losing battle when she saw one.
“We really should play our song,” Nate said.
“We have a song?”
Nate faked shock, putting his hand over his heart in horror.
Of course, Camille knew exactly what song he was speaking of, but watching Nate’s over the top antics was worth it. He stood up, holding out his hand and she laughed, taking it so he could lead her into the music room.
For the first time that Camille could ever remember, her parents left the table a mess and followed them into the house. In no time they were all settled in the music room around the instruments.
Camille sat at the piano with her father while he played. Nate stood nearby, weaving magic on his violin, while her mother recorded the whole thing. They played ‘As Time Goes By’ and Camille filled the room with her voice, loving the freedom she felt as she sang.
44
Nate
Nate lay in Camille’s bed, much longer than he should. If he didn’t leave soon he’d be late to pick up his mom. But he couldn’t seem to detach himself from Camille. She had a peaceful glow about her tonight that made his heart ache with joy. It was strange loving someone to the point of pain. But that’s how it was when Nate was with Cami—excruciating pleasure.
“Thank you for tonight,” she whispered.
“It was fun,” he murmured kissing her. “Can you believe there’s only one more day until graduation?”
The Goodbye Boyfriend (The Boyfriend Series Book 3) Page 23
