Engaging Love: A Historical Regency Romance Novel

by Abby Ayles

“I thought that it would take me away from the impending scandal. Having one more marriage would, I think, perhaps be too much.”

  There was something in Bridget’s tone and in the way that Lady Cora was looking at her that sparked something in Natalie’s brain. Oh, she realized. That made sense.

  “I expect that your trip will take quite a long time,” she said.

  Bridget looked at her, and Natalie saw that Bridget knew that she now knew. “Yes. I suspect that it might.”

  Lord Morrison cleared his throat. “And now we come to the reason that my wife and I have come to attend you.”

  Everyone looked over at them. Natalie had quite forgotten that they were even there.

  “Your father lost his fortune and his land in a game against Lord Pettifer,” Lord Morrison reminded them. “Well, in a game of loo just a short while ago, Lord Pettifer lost all of your holdings that he had won from your father.

  “He lost a great deal besides that. But it seems that all of it was gifted back to you. I was informed that the player who won would like everything to be given to you.

  “So you have your land and titles back, as well as your fortunes, and a great deal more besides.”

  That was too much.

  Natalie fainted.

  Chapter 11

  One instant, she felt her stomach heave and the room spin. All was blackness.

  The next, she was lying on a chaise and someone was carefully moving some smelling salts beneath her nose.

  Natalie blinked up to see Louisa standing there, looking rather concerned. “Are you all right?”

  She sat up, horribly embarrassed. She had fainted like a foolish girl who laced her corset too tight. As though she was lacking backbone.

  Her face burned and she forced herself to stand. The room swayed a little, but she forced herself to keep standing. “I am quite all right, thank you, Louisa.”

  The others were all gathered around, talking over one another about the news. Only Regina was silent, watching it all with her wide, dark brown eyes.

  “If any one of you wishes to break off your engagement,” Lord Morrison began.

  “As if we could even if we wanted to,” Elizabeth retorted. “What are you, half-witted? To break off an engagement after it has been so obviously announced? We should be called flighty at best and quite a lot of other things at worst.”

  “This only frees me up even more to go to the Continent,” Bridget said. She looked over at Lady Cora. “I will not be swayed from what I want. Not this time.”

  “Shocking as it may seem,” the Duke of Whitefern drawled, “I’m quite in love with my intended. I have absolutely no intention of letting her go.”

  Regina said nothing but gave him such a look of gratefulness and surprised pleasure that Natalie’s breath was taken away. She wanted a love like that.

  “My engagement was taken care of long before all of this was planned,” Louisa said. “In saying that, however, I know that Mr. Fairchild will be quite glad that there is no scandal to mar our happy day.”

  “If you think I’m going to expose myself to ridicule and give up a man who I finally like,” Elizabeth added, “You all can eat your hats.”

  “There is no need for such behavior, Elizabeth,” Bridget reprimanded her.

  Elizabeth opened her mouth, and then closed it, looking contrite.

  Natalie felt sick. If all of her sisters had disavowed their intended husbands once they were free of the impending scandal that would have been one thing. But they were all standing by them.

  Regina’s intended husband was going so far as to openly declare his love for her. And Elizabeth, the least romantic of all of them, was as good as daring anyone to a fistfight if they tried to end her engagement.

  That left only Natalie.

  Only she out of all of her sisters was not marrying for love. Only she was the one stuck. The others were happy to continue on and marry.

  But she could not back out of the engagement now. It would make her look horribly flighty. Already, as Bridget had pointed out, people were saying she was too flirtatious. This would terribly damage her reputation, to be engaged one moment and to break it off the next.

  “I’m afraid that my pressing matter still stands,” Lord Ridgecleff said. “And so, if your sister allows it, I shall continue on as we planned before. It is up to her to break it off, of course.”

  Everyone looked over at her.

  She would look awful if she broke it off and left Lord Ridgecleff in the lurch. And he was still the heir to an earldom. He was also still handsome. She could make something of this, could she not?

  “No,” she said. “I see no reason to break off the engagement. Besides, we had already begun letting people know out in the ball. It should cause much more confusion if we then were to disavow it.”

  Lord Ridgecleff was visibly relieved. Natalie tried to give him an encouraging smile.

  Inside, however, she felt as though her intestines were strangling one another. Regina was happy. Elizabeth was happy. Louisa would soon be happy. And even Bridget, in her unconventional way, was about to become happy.

  It left only Natalie out in the cold.

  She wanted to scream and rail. She wanted to collapse and cry. But she could do neither of these things. She had to see this out, now, if only to save her reputation. At the end of the day, a reputation was all that a woman had.

  “Then it is settled,” Bridget said. She smiled at all of them. “It seems that we all have a bright future before us.”

  Yes, Natalie thought. For the rest of you, anyway.

  Chapter 12

  John had never felt such panic in his life as when Lord Morrison announced that the Hartfield women had their fortune and land back.

  Natalie no longer needed him. None of them did. Yes, they had begun to let people know as they walked through the ballroom together but that could be remedied quickly enough.

  Not without total harm, but still. They could pass it off as a misunderstanding. Or perhaps claim that it was a different redhead that Lord Ridgecleff was seen with. After all, they had been masked.

  The point was that he still needed a bride. But Natalie no longer needed a groom. Was he about to be left in the lurch with only a few hours left to find a willing bride?

  Luckily, Natalie had stood by him. For an agonizing moment that had seemed to stretch on forever he had watched her. Waiting.

  Her fainting at the news of the money returning to her family, and scandal therefore being averted, had not encouraged him.

  It could have been shock, of course. But Natalie did not strike him as the kind of girl who showed her shock easily. He rather suspected it was despair.

  What had he done wrong? How had he made her unhappy with the idea of marrying him now that the cloud of scandal was no longer above her head?

  But when that agonizing moment of paralyzed limbo was over, she had said no. She had said that she would not break off the engagement.

  John’s heart had almost beat out of his chest. Thank God, thank God!

  Yet he saw the look in Natalie’s eyes. He saw the way that she looked at her sisters, all happy and in love.

  She was not happy at the idea of marrying him. John felt his stomach sink. Many women would be content enough with marrying a man of such high standing.

  Not Natalie, it seemed. Something of his personality had thrown her off and she did not wish to marry him. But duty and honor, most likely, compelled her to.

  Those were good enough traits. Perhaps…well, it was almost too much to hope for, but perhaps in time she would come to care for him.

  He should have ordered her to break off the engagement. He should have told her that since she did not love him, barely knew him, and no longer needed him, she should end it.

  But he was selfish. He could not turn away his chance at securing his inheritance. He would not. Even had he been able to end the engagement himself, which he could not, he would not have.

  Only a woman could
break off an engagement. The man was the one who had done the asking and so it was expected that he should hold true. Just as a gift could not be given and then taken away, so could a man not offer a woman her future and then take it back from her.

  A woman, however, could end an engagement. It was a risky thing and not to be undertaken lightly. It was usually done when the man in question had fallen from grace, either by scandal or loss of income or something of that sort.

  A gift that was initially accepted could be given back, and so could an engagement. But even if he had been able to end things, he couldn’t have. He needed that inheritance, for himself and for Edward’s sake. His brother would be desperately unhappy as the earl, John knew.

  He was not all that keen on some aspects of Natalie’s personality either. A little bitterness crept into his thoughts. Did she think she was the only one not at all satisfied with this hasty arrangement?

  But needs must and he was sticking by this. He would find a way to make it work and hopefully Natalie would as well.

  He just had to have faith in that. It would all work out, if only he had patience. Or so he kept telling himself.

  But then he looked at the youngest sister and her fiancé. They were both of them so clearly in love. She looked at him like he was her king and he gazed at her as if she had hung the moon.

  The two middle sisters did not have their intended husbands with them but looked happy nonetheless. The younger one was practically singing her joy.

  And the eldest was making plans to go to the Continent with her lady friend. It very well explained the gulf in Bridget’s eyes when he had looked at her. There was a reason, he now knew, why no man had been able to secure her hand.

  It was a tough draught to swallow, watching their happiness. Knowing that his own was far from secure. But he would make it work, somehow.

  He had to.

  Chapter 13

  Natalie hardly slept that night.

  Her sisters were all filling each other in and making plans for the future. They were rejoicing over their return to respectability. Yet Natalie tossed and turned. She was unable to completely mask her own frustration.

  Not that she begrudged their good fortune. She had seen Father in order for Lord Ridgecleff to ask for his blessing. It was the first time that Father had any color in his cheeks in a month.

  “It seems four of my daughters are to be wed,” Father had said. “And to such respectable men.”

  “If it is possible, sir, I should be honored to take your daughter and a companion of your choosing to my home of Mountbank,” Lord Ridgecleff had said.

  “Of course, of course, so that you might introduce her to your family.” Father had nodded affably. “I hope you shall understand my not coming just yet. I must see to this Duke of Whitefern my other daughter Regina is marrying first.”

  Standing there listening to it all, as if she were goods to be bartered for—it had made her almost sick.

  It would have been different had she actually wanted to marry Lord Ridgecleff. Nothing should have made her feel happier than to know that her father approved of a man that Natalie loved.

  But now, to be sent off like a package…it made her stomach turn.

  The joy of her sisters whispering to one another in the dark only made it worse. They were all happy except for her.

  No more balls, no more flirtations, no more planning what new dress or frock she might wear to impress the men.

  How was she supposed to have any sort of fun now?

  At least her husband-to-be was handsome, she supposed. And rich. She could find no fault on either of those fronts.

  “Natalie.” It was Elizabeth, with whom she was sharing a bed.

  “Yes?”

  Elizabeth rolled onto her side. “You’ve been rather quiet,” she whispered.

  “Have I? I hadn’t noticed.” Of course, she had noticed. Usually she was the one competing with Elizabeth for doing the most talking.

  There was a pause, then Elizabeth whispered again. “Are you quite all right, Nat?”

  Elizabeth was the only one who called her Nat. They had shared a room growing up. For all that they fought one another, they were also the closest to each other.

  Natalie sighed. She reached over, searching until she found Elizabeth’s hand. “I’m happy for you,” she said, and she meant it.

  Elizabeth’s hand squeezed hers. “Thank you.”

  There was another pause, and then Elizabeth spoke again. “I am nervous. I’m not…good at those domestic things, you know that. Regina and Louisa will do quite well with them, I should think.”

  “But you…you have true affection for this Mr. Denny, do you not?” Natalie asked. “You actually love him?”

  “Yes.” Elizabeth sighed and Natalie wished that the candles had not been blown out so that she might see her sister’s face. “I would not have thought it of myself, but I do.”

  “Good.”

  “But you…” Elizabeth’s voice was unusually hesitant. “You do not love your intended.”

  “How can I?” Natalie replied, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice. “I have only just met him this evening.”

  “But you can like him, can you not?” Elizabeth asked. “You can feel an affinity for him.”

  “I suppose one can,” Natalie acknowledged.

  “But you do not.”

  “He is a handsome man,” Natalie said. “And quite rich. I shall never want for anything.”

  “It is not too much to hope for,” Elizabeth replied. “Love.”

  “I doubt that I shall find it with him.”

  “Do not close yourself off too quickly.” Elizabeth’s tone was advising. Natalie wondered when her younger sister had become the wiser. “You might find that you are more compatible than you thought.”

  Natalie wasn’t so sure of that herself but she said nothing. It wouldn’t help anyone for her sisters to know how unhappy she was. It would only dampen their joy.

  Bridget might say she was selfish, and indeed Natalie wanted to pout and let everyone know how awful her situation was. But it would only make her look bad. And what kind of sister would she be to have fits over the happiness of her siblings?

  She could resign herself. She didn’t think that it could get better as Elizabeth so optimistically claimed. But it couldn’t be too horrible, could it?

  She’d find a way to make the most of it. She must.

  Chapter 14

  John rose early, as had become his habit over the last month. He used to get up whenever he pleased, but he was trying to drill respectable habits into himself now.

  He made sure the servants organized his things and loaded them onto his carriage.

  To his surprise, Miss Natalie was not down for breakfast when he went down to dine with Lord and Lady Morrison.

  “Is she not up yet?” he asked his host.

  Lord Morrison shook his head. “I’m afraid not. From what I know of her, Miss Natalie is not an early riser.”

  “We are to leave for Mountbank today. I was hoping for an early start.”

  Lord Morrison looked over at his wife. Lady Morrison rose and excused herself with a curtsy, murmuring something about finding Miss Natalie and rousing her.

  John took a seat next to Lord Morrison and began to help himself to the food.

  “You seem in distress,” Lord Morrison noted.

  “Not distressed, no,” John replied. Lord Morrison was one of his few close friends outside of Blaketon, the town nearest to the estate of Mountbank.

  If he couldn’t confide in Lord Morrison, then who could he confide in?

  John sighed. “I’m concerned, that’s all. Miss Natalie now has no reason to continue with the engagement. I suspect that our temperaments are different enough that we will be ill-suited for one another and she will take the easy way out.”

  “She cannot,” Lord Morrison replied. “To break off an engagement and to such a man as yourself would be to invite ridicule.”
r />   “Women have broken off engagements before.”

  “And will continue to do so, I am sure, but not without good reason.” Lord Morrison shook his head. “No, sir, she cannot break off an engagement, and to an earl no less, without good cause.”

  “I suppose,” John acknowledged.

  Still, the idea of having a wife that was ill-suited for him did not sit well with him. Hopefully his fears would be set aside once he and Miss Natalie spent a little more time together.

  The door opened and both he and Lord Morrison stood, but it was Miss Louisa who entered.

  She had a sweet face. The kind of face that you instinctively trusted.

  “Good morning, my lords. I do apologize for my sister,” Miss Louisa said. “She is up and about now.”

  “Please, there is no need,” John said. If there was a need to apologize, then Miss Natalie should do it herself.

  “Is it far to Mountbank?” Lord Morrison asked.

  John looked at him for a moment in confusion. Lord Morrison knew quite well how far Mountbank was from his own estate. But then he realized it was his friend’s attempt at making polite conversation.

  “Not too far,” John said. “It should only take us a day’s ride if we set out early enough.”

  “Have you good spots for walking about the grounds?” Miss Louisa asked.

  Before John could answer, the door opened and Miss Natalie appeared.

  She was as beautiful as he’d thought her the night before. That, at least, had not changed.

  She also looked, unfortunately, quite out of sorts as well.

  “Are we to be leaving so soon?” she asked. “It is not even nine.”

  “We must, if we are to get to Mountbank by nightfall,” John explained.

  Natalie nodded, sitting down to breakfast.

  “I’ve had our things sent down by the servants,” Miss Louisa said.

  Miss Natalie nodded her thanks at her sister. The breakfast table fell into an awkward silence. Miss Natalie didn’t seem inclined to ask any questions, and John didn’t know how to begin a conversation under such circumstances.