Silent Scars (Surviving #4)

by Ada Frost

  “You're a bastard.”

  “Ooh feisty. I'd like to play, but time is running out, my friend. You have to choose.”

  I remained silent.

  “Who lives and who dies? But, Ryan, whomever you choose, you must listen while the last breath leaves the one you deserted. The one you betrayed.”

  “Harry. Take that fucker and give me back my brother and Aloura,” I snapped. Graham bristled beside me, but there was no choice.

  The distorted laugher over the receiver had chills running down my spine.

  “Oh, I wish it was so easy. Don’t we all wish his pathetic existence would end?” he snarled.

  I glanced around the table at the shocked faces.

  Shock turned to disbelief when Alec’s very clear, very bitter voice filled the kitchen and the voice distortion ended.

  “You see, I wanted his mother to abort him. Her life was worth more to me than him. But she chose him instead of me. She chose to continue the pregnancy even though she knew the risks to her life. And that bastard beside you made me choose.”

  “Alec, no –”

  “What? Don’t you remember, lover? You came out of the operating theatre to explain my wife would die if she had the baby. I told you to save her. I wanted my wife. But who lived? Who lived Doctor?” he snarled.

  “It wasn’t –”

  “Who lived?” he roared down the phone.

  “Harry.”

  “The thing is you don’t even remember, do you? You had no clue I was the devoted husband that you crushed years before. When we met that night, I was certain you would recognise me, but you didn’t. You had no idea you’d destroyed my life because my wife was another fucking statistic. You made it easy for me really. But I never forgot you saved the bastard I never wanted. She was so desperate for a child she risked her own life.”

  “Her heart was weak. You understood that,” Graham added, an air of desperation in his voice.

  “He weakened it. You should have forced her to get rid of it. But no you saved him and let her die. But worse than that, the bastard child had to fall completely and hopelessly in love with your little princess. The enemy.”

  “How is Aloura the enemy? She hasn’t done anything wrong,” Graham protested, anger rising in his tone.

  Alec chuckled. It was an eerie sound. Emily gripped my arm tightly as we listened to the men arguing.

  “She is the one thing I can take from you. Like you stole from me.”

  “You’ve been a part of this family, Alec; she loves you. How can you do this to her?”

  There was a pause on the line before the bitter voice changed into something pained.

  “I loved you all. How messed up is that? I followed you for weeks before approaching you, with only revenge in mind. But like a bloody idiot I fell in love with you, Graham. How pathetic is that? I’m sure my wife would have been so proud I honoured her memory that way. You made me disrespect her.”

  “No.”

  “Sleeping beside you each night, loving you only made me hate myself. I was sickened by it. And watching you and your perfect daughter was like a knife to my chest. Why should you have everything when you destroyed my life?”

  “No,” I barked. I wouldn’t allow this.

  Alec made an exaggerated tsking sound.

  “Was it all a lie?” Graham choked from beside me. “Was nothing real?”

  “No,” Alec hesitated.

  Graham made a gurgled moan. “It was real for me.”

  There was a silent pause. I stared down at the phone and across at Graham, who had tears threatening to spill down his face. “Please,” he gasped, his lip trembling. “Please don’t take her.” His voice crumbled, and his head dropped forward. Sally held onto Emily, and they were both sobbing. “It was real for me. You were everything,” Graham whispered, but Alec’s bitter cackle echoed over the line.

  “I loved you. I loved you so bloody much I couldn’t breathe with the guilt of it. You let my wife die. You saved the bastard when I said to save her. But then you were there when I needed to forget. You became everything. I felt guilty everyday for loving you.”

  “Why then?”

  “Aloura. You destroyed my life Graham. I am going to destroy yours. You stole my wife from me, now I take the only woman you could ever truly love.”

  “Why now?” Graham asked.

  “Why not? When is there ever a good time to take a life?”

  “Stop. This is insane,” I growled. Graham was crumbling before my very eyes. I grabbed hold of him and pulled him to me. His legs gave out, and I sat him on the stool. I kept my arm around his shoulder so he wouldn’t fall.

  “Listen, big man. I give the orders. When you’re in charge, people die, am I correct? Leaving a unit unsecure isn’t what a good Sergeant is supposed to do.” He teased with such condescension I wanted to reach in the phone and rip out his throat. “But then to let the woman you were paid to protect get kidnapped. Now, Ryan, that was a little silly.” He was speaking to me like I was some idiotic child.

  “Listen –”

  “No, you listen. You make a choice. You decide whose life is worth more to you. Will or Aloura. You have stood in my way long enough.”

  Emily cried out. Sally held onto her as her legs buckled. “Why is this my choice? You’re here to destroy Graham right?” I asked trying to stall for time.

  The sinister laughter from the handset had shivers running down my spine.

  “I like games. I want to see who is worth more to the incredibly strong man. Graham would choose Aloura. The only nonentity is my pathetic son. He’s of no use to anyone. And if you don't, I will take this incredibly sharp knife and make them bleed. I will let them die, slowly.”

  “You fucking asshole!”

  “Now now, tut-tut. I may lose my patience.”

  “Take me instead,”

  The fucker just laughed.”What would the fun be in taking a man’s life that doesn't even value it? You are a man on the edge of dying. You crave the bleakness of death. I have no value in that.”

  “Please.”

  “Beg me more, Ryan. It makes me so hard,” he whispered in a sultry tone. Graham balked at the side of me. My gut rolled, but I would do what I had to do to bring them home.

  “I’ll beg, if that’s what you need.”

  “Oh, but you see, pleading is only going to make this more enjoyable. You will make the impossible choice. You will choose between the woman you love and the soon to be father.” I heard Aloura let out a terrified cry and plead to the fucker holding her. “I know the tiny blonde is there. I want you to look into her eyes and make your choice. Can you do that?”

  “Don't hurt them, please.”

  “Tick tick, Ryan.”

  “No, listen.” A loud scream rang out through the phone. “You are trying my patience. Choose!"

  “Can I talk to Aloura first?” I shouted. Blood was rushing through my ears.

  “Ah, the man chooses.”

  There was rustling, and then her frightened voice echoed down the line. “Promise to choose him, Ryan. His babies... Please...I can’t..."

  “It won’t come to that. We’ll find you, sweetheart.”

  “Promise me, Ryan. I'm begging you. Don’t let him take their daddy.”

  “Aloura.”

  “Promise me,” she gasped. Her sobbing made her voice choppy.

  “Aloura, be brave for me, okay. I will find you.”

  “I love you,” she whispered desperately. I opened my mouth to say it back. But the bastard’s chuckle was the only sound I heard.

  “Put her back on, please. One minute more.”

  “Sorry, I cannot do that. Make your choice. Who lives and who dies. You must say it. You must say I choose to save and I choose to kill. Say it.”

  “Let me talk to her one more second. It will only take a second.”

  He laughed wickedly.

  “What could you possibly have to say to her in these final moments?”

  �
��Please,” I begged. My resolve shattering.

  “Was I given those last few moments with my wife?” he snapped bitterly.

  I closed my eyes.

  “Please,” my voice broke, but the fucker wasn't going to submit.

  “Choose.”

  I sucked in a breath.

  “I choose to save - oh God,” I whispered. I glanced across at Emily who had her hands in a prayer before her, tears streaming down her face. Sally beside her, begging for someone completely different.

  “Say it.”

  I could hear Aloura sobbing my name. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be in a world without her. I couldn’t let Aloura die. Emily rubbed her hand over her stomach.

  “Save him, Ryan. Please,” she begged. I made the mistake of turning to look at Graham and Sally. Their grief wrapped around me like a vice and stole my breath. I turned and slumped against the counter, sliding to the floor.

  “I can’t,” I uttered. “I can’t choose.”

  “Ryan!” Emily screamed. “Don’t hurt Will, please.”

  “Sir, this is Inspector Annis.”

  “Did I not set rules?” Alec replied calmly before a deafening gunshot sounded around the kitchen.

  Emily screamed at the phone. She slapped me, crying out words of hate. But the noises were too demanding. They were coming to claim me. I slapped at the side of my head. It never fucking ended. All there ever was in life was pain. I caused pain. It was me.

  “Arrrrrgh!” I wailed as tears rolled down my face. The chaos around me continued, but I didn’t care. It was all for nothing. I pounded my fists against my head. The fucker was right. My father was right.

  I failed.

  My brain was still trying to process what happened. One minute I was preparing to die, and the next a loud gunshot echoed around the dark basement. There was a scuffle and loud grunts and groans before I registered Harry’s voice screaming.

  “I’m going to kill you!”

  I lifted my head and froze. Harry, bleeding and looking completely unsteady on his feet, bent over his father with the gun pointed dead centre to his forehead. His hands were still bound, so I had no idea how he’d disarmed him.

  “I will fucking kill you and enjoy it, you demented bastard.” Spit flew out of Harry’s mouth with each bitter bite.

  “Harry,” I grated.

  “Do it,” Alec goaded. Harry pressed the gun harder into his skin.

  “You’d fucking love that wouldn’t you?”

  “Harry.” I got to my knees and shuffled across the floor, wincing at the pain. “Harry, please. Harry, listen to me.” My voice was hoarse. “Don’t do this. I can’t lose you. Don’t let him take you away from me,” I begged and forced as much pleading into my voice as I could.

  His gaze flicked to mine for a brief second. “He deserves it.”

  “He does,” I agreed. “But you don’t deserve to be punished. Don’t let him take you away. I can’t lose you, Harry.”

  A flicker of pain washed over his face.

  “You thought I could do this to you? That it was me.”

  “No. I never doubted you, ever. I came to the club, and you wouldn’t see me. Remember?”

  His hands shook, and the fear of losing him had my pulse racing.

  “You’re my best friend. I love you.”

  Alec laughed.

  “You’re pathetic. Both of you.”

  Harry pulled back the gun, and I screamed, fearing he would end his father’s life, and I would lose my best friend forever.

  “She’s right. You’re not worth it.” He brought the gun down and smacked Alec hard on the side of the head. Alec slumped to the floor.

  Harry grabbed Alec’s phone and explained our location as I crawled to Will. He was breathing but wasn’t moving. We needed to get out of here because I needed to see Ryan. He was the only thing I needed right now.

  Ryan.

  I didn't recall being handcuffed.

  I didn't recall busting up the kitchen.

  I didn't recall Johan holding onto me like his life depended on it.

  Somehow I’d ended up in Jo’s lap, clinging to him like the devil would drag me into hell if I let go. He was returning my grip just as tightly.

  “Breathe, okay. Just keep doing that, and we’ll be good,” he muttered.

  My body ached with an intensity I hadn’t felt before, my knuckles were sore, my head hurt, and my legs were shaking. I knew I must have blacked out at one point because I had no recollection of Jo even entering the house. Everything was a black hole.

  “Ryan.”

  That voice. I whined and buried my head. Was this to be my new hell, the torture I would endure? I couldn’t live with her voice in my head. Not when she was no longer breathing.

  “Ryan.” Again. I covered my ears and groaned in agony.

  “Johan, can you get your hands off of my man? No one touches him but me.”

  Jo chuckled and patted my back. “Ry, your woman is staking claim.”

  I shook my head not daring to believe it.

  “He’s a scary mother fucker when he loses his shit,” a male voice called. I had no idea who it was.

  “Who has the key to the cuffs?” that voice asked. I had to be dreaming.

  My head was fuzzy, but the pain was intense. She’d disappeared again. I flinched when a small hand slid into my cocoon and cupped my face.

  “I need you. Let me see my favourite blue eyes,” she crooned. I lifted my gaze, and there she was. Perfection. My breath was stolen when her lips met mine.

  “Okay, this just got weird,” protested Jo as he pushed at my shoulders. I scrambled to hold onto Aloura. My bound hands allowed me to grasp the front of her shirt.

  “You’re okay?” My voice cracked. She smiled against my lips, working to unlock the cuffs.

  “How else did you think this would end? Baby, our story has only just begun,” she soothed. God I loved her.

  “I love you,” I choked. I couldn’t take another breath without her knowing.

  “I love you too.” It wasn’t a question. And I would. I wouldn’t ever let her go.

  Nothing had changed in the last hour. I had sat in the dark staring up at the house. The desperation inside me to march up to the door and demand that I be allowed inside was ripping me apart. Will and Jo warned me not to drive over here, but I had to. I swore I would never leave her side, and I would honour that promise. But she was also inside preparing for our wedding tomorrow, and according to everyone, it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the big day. I’d had too much bad luck to last a fucking lifetime; she was the only luck I’d had. I wouldn’t jeopardise that. Didn’t mean I couldn’t spend the night in the car though.

  The day she was kidnapped and brought back to me, Emily had gone into labour. I had gone insane and all but ripped Graham’s kitchen apart. Alec was currently serving a hefty sentence at her Majesty’s pleasure, and the cocky bastard? He still touched my woman far too much for my liking, but he’d saved her life, and I would always be in debt to him.

  The lights were on downstairs, so I knew they were all still awake. I hoped she was having a good time and not forming doubts in her mind. She wouldn’t.

  Would she?

  My phone alerted to a text.

  Jo: Has Lou kicked your ass yet?

  Me: Bro, I'm in the process of stealing her from your lame ass.

  Jo: Dick <==8

  Me: Mature. And what’s with the small dick? Obviously size doesn’t run in the family.

  Jo: Fuck off.

  I grinned down at the screen. They say that in life you had a defining moment. Well, I believed this was mine. It wasn’t when I fumbled my way through my proposal to Aloura or the moment I held my new born nieces in my arms. It wasn’t the moment Dad and I signed the adoption papers. It was this, in the quiet of the car. Because this was the last day I would ever be alone. Tomorrow my life would begin. My life with Aloura by my side, as my wife, my partner, my love. She was my reason
in life.

  A knock at the passenger side window startled me. I jerked my head around to gaze into warm chocolate eyes. When she opened the door and slid into the seat, she had the most beautiful grin on her face.

  “Apparently its bad luck,” she panted.

  “Why did you come out here?” I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She was breathtaking. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, she had those thick rimmed glassed on, and she was wearing my superman t-shirt and a pair of ratty sweat pants. She was utterly gorgeous.

  “Because I missed you,” she breathed, leaning towards me. “I hate stupid superstitions when they keep me from you.”

  “Me too.” I rested my forehead against hers. “How are my babies?” I asked. She grinned at me.

  “Missing their daddy, but not so much that they aren’t curled up on Lou’s bed. I just hope Batman and Robin don’t pee.”

  I groaned because she insisted on calling the furry little rats Batman and Robin. It was humiliating walking them in the park. I rested my head against the seat.

  “What were you thinking about? Before I came out here.”

  “You.”

  She grinned, her eyes twinkling in the dark.

  “What about me?”

  I reached out, no longer unable to resist touching her, and pulled her over the centre console into my lap. She snuggled into me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

  “I can’t wait to make you my wife.”

  Her smile widened, and those plump ruby lips that captivated me long ago mesmerised me all over again.

  “I can’t wait to be Mrs Senior, either.”

  “Only nine more hours until no one can keep us apart again,” I uttered, feeling like it was a lifetime away.

  “Ugh, that’s too long,” she groaned. She tucked her arms between us and curled into my chest. Her legs were straddled over my legs. “I’m going to sleep here in your arms and then sneak into the house before they wake up.”

  “Sweetheart, it’s too cold.” But my arms tightened, bringing her closer rather than pushing her away.

  “You could always keep me warm,” she suggested, rocking her hips against me. “We could make your fantasy of car sex come true.”