Shattered Skies: Beginning's End

by Heather Linn

  Oh not this stupid theory again. I couldn’t take it. “Stop right there! I am sorry Doc, but I don’t want to hear another word about your insane predictions. We had a deal. I let you run one test and we dropped it. But from where I am sitting, it is plain to see that you went against your word.” I was still trying very hard not to be mean to this man, my father, the man that had given me the chance to live, but my famous temper was starting to get the best of me.

  “Catalina you have every right to be upset. The more I thought about it, the clearer it became. The test I ran was inaccurate because the setting was too controlled. With Akia you feared for your life and you panicked. When I hypnotized you, I made a point of telling you over and ever that you were safe and out of harm’s way. That was a mistake. I was worried about you, Cat. I wanted you to be calm while you were reliving the experience, when in truth, you should have been scared out of your mind. I knew that I couldn’t recreate that in a lab setting, so we staged the experiment in a real life situation.”

  I was refusing to believe what I was hearing. Doctor Walker had never broken a promise to me before. “I could have died back there. Why aren’t either of you understanding that?” I was lost. These were the two most important men in my life and they had used me. They had let some monster rape me. I could have died for real.

  “Cat, none of that matters now. I was right. You have to understand. You are the girl in the prophecies. You are here to save us all.” He was looking at me like I was some mystical being and I couldn’t stand it anymore.

  “What do you mean, none of that matters? I could have been killed and it was all in the what…the name of science? Could you have lived with my murder on your hands? Am I just an overgrown lab rat to you?” My temper was gone, it went the way of any trust I had managed to hold on to.

  “Catalina nothing bad was going to happen. Darien was in the room the entire time.” As soon as he said it I think he realized it was a mistake. I turned and glared at Darien who had somehow managed to sneak into the corner where he was being so quiet I wasn’t even sure that he was breathing.

  “You were in the room?” Darien never even blinked; he just kept staring at the floor. “Answer me! Damn it Darien! You were in the goddamn room!?”

  “Look Cat, Doctor Walker was convinced that we had to test the theory. If you have the power, then we had to know before you hurt yourself.” I did not think I had ever been this angry before in my life.

  “You not only tracked down some bastard that gets a thrill out of beating on women and then tricked me into screwing him, but you stood there and watched while the son of a bitch raped and strangled me? You watched him the entire time?” It was too much to take. It meant I was totally alone. It wasn’t me and Darien against the world anymore, it was just me.

  “Cat, Doctor Walker said that it was the only way that we would ever know the truth; we were doing it for you. After what I watched what you did the other night, I know that he was is right. You have so much power that if you don’t learn to control it you might seriously injury yourself and we can’t afford to lose you. The world can’t lose you.”

  Darien was begging me with his voice to understand why they had to do it, but I wasn’t in a very understanding mood; shocked, appalled, pissed and scared yes, but nowhere in that cocktail of emotions was there even an ounce of understanding. I didn’t want to believe that some dead guy had dreams or visions about me. That was downright creepy, and not to mention the amount of pressure that would be placed on my shoulders if everyone truly believed that I was born to save the world.

  I would deal with that later. Right now I had to figure out how not to crumble to pieces right there on that table. My best friend had not only watched me get violated, but he did it because he thought he was doing me a favor. I would not be able to close my eyes for a long time without seeing Jax’s face or hearing his snarling voice and they thought that this was OK?

  “Catalina, we did you a favor. You will never live up to your potential if you keep refusing to believe that you are gifted. We all saw it. I even videotaped it so you couldn’t argue that we were both just delusional. Everyone has watched it Cat, and the evidence is pretty clear.”

  For the first time in my life I think I truly hated the man that made my existence possible. He was calmly talking about me like I was some case study in one of his books and I hated him for seeing me as a lab rat instead of one of his children.

  “Let me get this straight. You two not only watched this guy rape me, but you videotaped it and brought it home and let everyone sit back, relax, and see me being abused? To top that off, you claim by doing this that you were doing me a favor? What is wrong with you people? What you have been doing and watching for the last week while I was asleep makes you worse than the monsters! I am leaving and I am done with this family. I would be better off on my own. At least I don’t have to worry about me betraying myself. You are all dead to me; each and every one of you mean nothing to me now. You no longer exist in my world.”

  “Catalina I demand you stop talking like that and calm down. You are angry and you are speaking from anger. Everyone in this room loves you and we want to help you. Everyone knows you’re scared.”

  “Ha! Scared Doc? Well I guess I have to give you that one because I am scared. Scared to death of what you lunatics might do to me next to prove your irrational theories.” I was up and out of bed when Darien grabbed my arm.

  “Cat, please stop. You are not well enough to leave here yet. You can hate me for the rest of your life and I wouldn’t blame you, but please don’t leave here like this. Just lie down and get more rest and then if you want to go no one will stop you.” That is right, plead. You should feel horrible. I was looking for my shoes when I noticed the ring was resting on my finger where it belonged. I guess whoever saved me had taken the time to get the ring off Jax’s finger and back on mine.

  “No offense Doc, and not to seem disrespectful, but after what you did? You don’t have the right to request that I stay. I am going. I am leaving here and you will never see me again.”

  “That is fine Cat. I understand, but you have to stay here until you are better. Please?” Darien held tighter to my arm, willing me to stay right where I was.

  If I really was this freak that could kill people with my mind, why the hell hadn’t he dropped over yet? “I suggest if you know what is good for you, you’ll let go of me right now!” There was that voice again; the emotionless, cold as ice voice; the voice that nightmares were made of. I was sure that I could have killed him and not felt bad about it till after the fact, and I think when I looked him in the eyes, he must have seen exactly what I was feeling because he released my arm almost like it was burning him and he just stood there staring at me like he expected me to burst into flames.

  “You know, you can say what you want about Akia. He is a monster, I get that, but what does that make you? I was dying in there, and you fucking watched. What the hell does that make you Darien?” His not answering just fueled my fire even more. “You aren’t even man enough to answer me, you are pathetic. You know that right?” They were all looking at me like they expected me to do something unnatural and that was all it took to make me walk out the door.

  “Sorry boys and girls the freak show is over for today.”

  As I was walking out the door I heard Darien say that he would go after me. Then someone else, maybe Jaden, said “man she isn’t going to be very happy to see you but maybe she will talk to me so I am going with you.” I had news for them. I had no intention of talking to either of them. I did, however, have someone else to settle a score with. Akia. Akia had been there; I felt him and he had abandoned me just like the rest of them and I wanted to know what he had gained from it.

  I had never felt more betrayed in my life. I had been raped. I had read about how human women use to feel like it was their fault and blame themselves after rape. I could live with blaming myself; if it was my fault that it happened, I could deal with that. It
was the fact that my family set me up that I couldn’t process. What kind of sick minded person wants to put someone through that? Especially someone that they were supposed to love? I had been raped; there was nothing I could do to change that. I could live with it; however, knowing that everyone in my life had seen it happen was sickening. How could I ever look any of them in the eye again?

  I had thought I was dying and I had accepted it. I gave up fighting and just lied down and took it. I looked weak and frail. I was a joke. It wasn’t bad enough that I was ashamed of myself for not trying to fight harder, but now everyone knew that I was a quitter. I had decided to stop fighting and sealed my own fate. I would never be taken seriously among them again. How could I ever overcome that?

  I didn’t mean to start crying; it was stupid. If any of the monsters had cared enough to stop me and ask what was wrong, I didn’t know how I would answer. Dominus women did not show weakness around men. They were equal to them, and to shed tears would be unheard of. I had to pull myself together. Worse things happened in this world than being raped, videotaped, and displayed to the most important people in your life, right? I mean, at least I had the chance to walk away from it. As far as I knew, other human women were constantly raped by the Vampires. The mating class was just for that, they were raped and forced to carry and deliver tiny little monsters. What the hell was I complaining about? My suffering was minor compared to theirs, yet if that was the case, why did I hurt so badly? I stumbled around for I don’t know how long. I told myself that it was all in the name of science; the Doc hadn’t done it to be mean, he just saw things differently than the rest of us. I had to believe that or I would go mad.

  I needed to get myself under control or I would never make it to Akia’s. I needed to pull it together. I was a blubbering mess. It was just sex after all. I was trained to use it as a weapon. When I used sex for my purpose, it was like second nature to me; something that I did willingly, knowing the consequences. Why was I so arrogant to think that one day someone wouldn’t use the same weapon against me?

  A solider doesn’t cry; they take everything that happens, all the pain, and all the fear, and they ball it up inside of them. They carry it with them until they are given that chance to get revenge upon the people that put the ball there to begin with. It made them harder and stronger. The feelings of hatred and fear that formed the ball was something that every real solider had to carry with them at some point in time or another. My time was now. I had begged for this life after all; I had pushed my way onto the battlefield. Did I really think that it would be easy and painless?

  Chapter Eighteen

  I really didn’t think it would be easy to get to the Regent himself, but strangely enough, the guard outside of his mansion said, “Good morning Ms. Catalina. Sir Akia has been expecting you; allow me to get you an escort to the game room.”

  I stood there dumbfounded and staring at him. What did he mean that he had been expecting me? How did he even know that I was still alive? Things just kept getting stranger and stranger and I didn’t know how much more I could take.

  “Miss, are you OK? Do I need to call for a doctor? You look very pale.”

  “I didn’t tell Akia I was coming today. How could he have been expecting me?” I didn’t know what about this situation was bothering me more; the fact that he knew I was coming or the fact that he told everyone in the palace to watch for me and treat me as deferentially as him.

  “I don’t know Miss. I was told that a beautiful young lady would arrive late this morning and she would appear very angry. Boy, did he describe you right down to your angry little scowl!”

  On a typical day, I might be amused by that greeting but not today. “Cute. Just point me in the right direction. I need to talk to the Regent now.” I knew how bratty I was sounding, but damn it, I didn’t need some psychic Dominus knowing my every move. That needed to be stopped before more things about me were discovered.

  “Little lady, I am supposed to keep harmful things away from The King, and you look ready to kill. I am not so sure I should send you in there without an armed escort.”

  I didn’t think he was joking. Did I really look that mean? Well good. I hoped so because I wanted to scare Akia. “I promise you, you have nothing to worry about. I will be on my best behavior. You have my word.” I gave him my best doe eyed innocent smile, and it must have worked because he opened the door and stepped aside.

  Akia was sitting on what looked like a five hundred year old couch; he didn’t even look up from the novel he was reading. “Hello Kitten. I have been expecting you. Please come join me.” He patted the cushion right beside him on the beautiful sofa.

  “This isn’t a social visit and you damn well know it. I want to know what the hell you gained from leaving me there in that room for what I thought was dead.”

  He didn’t even try to hide the shock on his face. “Leaving you for dead? What are you talking about? I would have done anything to be in that room with you, to make whatever was hurting you stop, but I wasn’t with you in that room.” Everyone had to be crazy, I knew he was there by the way he was acting, the way Darien and the Doc made it out to be nothing. But maybe it was all a dream? “You called out to me for help but I didn’t know where you were. I couldn’t find you. The only place that we met that night Kitten was in our minds. I thought I had lost you and there was nothing that I could do about it. I mourned, but there was nothing I could do. I watched you fade and I couldn’t hold you for real or comfort you. My heart broke for you. You asked me to kiss you and I felt your lips grow cold beneath mine. You were gone and there was nothing that I could do to save you. I was so devastated that for a moment or two I was sure that you were going to take me with you; that we would die together. I have never felt anything like it. You were pulling me to death with you. I stopped fighting and I accepted it. I even bargained to take your place. Then it stopped. There was no longer a pull; you were gone. I sat there numb. I wasn’t sure that I was going to live. Then I felt you awaken again and I couldn’t believe it. It was like something inside of me came back to life. I couldn’t explain how it felt to another soul, but it was unbelievable. I hunted for you, but I couldn’t find you. I knew you were OK, but I didn’t know where.” He sounded so sure of himself.

  “What do you mean I called out for help from you? Some guy was strangling me to death. You were the furthest thing from my mind, I promise you that.” This man’s ego was out of control.

  “I don’t know how to explain this to you. It is new to me also, but I felt the life flowing out of you and then something happened and my scars started to bleed. They reopened and bled, which was incredibly odd since I had not fed at all that day. Then I was there. I could see you laying there. You were not moving. When you asked me to kiss you and I did as you wished; I pictured myself kissing you and it was like it really was happening. We were kissing then you were gone again and I thought you were gone forever.”

  Even though I had protested earlier, my knees suddenly felt weak and I needed to sit down and the closest place was the damn sofa cushion right beside him. If he was telling the truth and he wasn’t really in that room with me, if he was really only in my mind, then we were both in trouble. He was in trouble because if he could truly walk into my mind that way then he was putting my family’s life in jeopardy, and family as much grief as they cause, for me family always comes first. I was going to have to kill him. There was no way around that. I was in trouble because something inside of me was nagging me because I wasn’t sure if I could kill him. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I didn’t think I could live without him. I don’t know what brought that thought into my mind but I knew no matter what, I was going to resist it with my last breath. I killed these monsters; I didn’t fall in love with them, especially not the King of all evil.

  “Kitten where are you? You are a million miles away. What are you thinking about?” I didn’t want to believe that a monster could actually care about me or any human for that ma
tter. The concern in his voice was making it hard for me to remember exactly why I killed. I had to turn this conversation around fast or I was going to forget why I had gone there in the first place.

  “Why don’t you tell me, your Highness? You are good at invading my head…. And for the last time, stop calling me Kitten!” Good, anger. I liked anger. It pushed every other useless emotion from my head. “Shouldn’t you be out ruling or whatever it is that you do? I am sure somewhere in the rule book it says that you are not supposed to even look at lower class vermin like me for long, let alone stalk me.”

  “Please stop with the ‘your highness’ garbage. Why do you insist on holding my position against me? I didn’t ask for the title you know. I am sorry for the kitten thing. You will be Catalina from now on. I mean you no disrespect.”

  He reached for my hand and grabbed it before I had time to react. When his skin touched mine, the world stopped making sense. All I felt was him. He was so close to me already, but that wasn’t good enough. I wanted nothing more than to close the distance. The air was so thick with need that I was almost positive I was going to choke on it. I had never had this strong a reaction to a man. Nothing ever came close to what he could do to me with just a light brushing of my skin.

  When I looked up and saw Akia staring back at me, I knew that he wasn’t acting; he was just as puzzled as I was. His hand was trembling and he looked like he was afraid that if he moved the wrong way or said the wrong thing, that I would flee again. It was that look that made me realize that this powerful heartless monster was afraid of me. I knew at that very moment that he mourned me just like he said. When I looked into his eyes, I could feel the pain that he had felt. He knew what I was doing, and since he didn’t turn away, I could see what happened in his eyes.

  When I cried out to him, he had gone insane with rage. For the first time in his life he was helpless. He couldn’t find me, and because he couldn’t save me, he lashed out, destroying everything in his path. His rage was bad; there were things he destroyed that he could never get back; priceless things that I am positive he had to answer to someone for, even though he was the Regent. Even worse than the anger was what happened when he felt me slip away. He screamed like an animal, so raw, so real, and when his voice was gone and the screaming finally stopped, he laid there and cried like a baby. Apparently he too was feeling what I was, because he dropped my hand suddenly as if it was hot and burning him.