The Christmas Room

by Catherine Anderson

  • • •

  The next morning, after Caleb left for school, Maddie heard a diesel truck pull up. She knew without looking that it had to be Sam, but she watched through a window anyway as he methodically cared for Cam’s livestock. Maddie had intended to go out and do it. She felt much better today and hoped she would quickly regain her strength before she was due for her next treatment.

  She was surprised when Sam left without tapping on her door. She shook her head. Most men would have at least stopped to receive a thank-you. But not Sam. He’d done something nice for a neighbor, but he clearly wanted no recognition for that. In fact, Maddie suspected that he’d have felt mortified if anyone else found out. Being kind to others didn’t fit with his image as the local hard-ass.

  She was smiling as she settled down to work while she could. Later that day, she had an appointment for a consultation with her oncologist, which she always dreaded. What if her cancer had returned? What if he wanted to change her chemo drug or administer it in stronger doses? Graham’s course of treatment had called for chemo for a week, followed by three weeks of rest. He’d been sicker than a dog afterward, and toward the end, he’d had no good days.

  Because she felt so much better, Maddie decided to leave early so she could drop by the hospital to see Cam and get some necessary shopping done. While in camp, she wore only jeans, knit tops, and hiking boots, but she had a nicer top for trips to town. After she dressed, she styled her hair and put on a touch of makeup. She liked what she saw in the mirror. Well, she guessed at her age a woman never really liked how she looked. Maddie was more inclined to study her reflection and wonder when that old gal had sneaked in and taken over her former self. But the foundation she’d lightly applied made her chemo-ravaged skin glow with artificial good health, and the mascara enhanced her eyes.

  She enjoyed the drive to town. It was now early October, and the valley was getting another day of Indian summer. The mountainsides offered a variety of color to offset the evergreens, and the sky was so blue it took her breath away. Traffic was heavy in Missoula. Maddie jockeyed from lane to lane to reach the hospital and spent a quarter hour with her son, who could now have two visitors for thirty minutes at a time.

  Cam seemed to be in good spirits. He complained about the rib pain, which was, he said, horrific when he used crutches to reach the bathroom. The hospital food was, in his opinion, better than average, and he was counting the hours until he could go home.

  “Has any feeling returned to your leg?” Maddie asked.

  Shadows dimmed the twinkle in Cam’s eyes. “The neurologist took more pictures of my spine. He feels certain there’s no actual nerve damage, but he says it may take weeks before the deep-tissue bruising and swelling go down. I may go home in a wheelchair.”

  “Permanent paralysis would be a much grimmer prognosis,” Maddie reminded him. “And we’ll figure out the wheelchair issue. Maybe Caleb can make ramps so you can move around the camp.”

  “I’m more worried about how I’ll work.”

  Kirstin hobbled in, bearing a fresh pitcher of ice water. After greeting her and giving her a gentle scolding about not using her crutches, Maddie took her arrival as her cue to leave. “Well, sweetie,” she said to Cam. “I have physical therapy at one, and I’d like to pick up a few grocery items on the way. I’ll be back tonight with Caleb. We’ll have a longer visit then.”

  Maddie went to the store and was heartened when she was able to hurry up and down the aisles without feeling breathless and weak. Chemo made her feel as if all her blood had been drained from her veins. Hungry for the first time in days, she stopped at the deli and enjoyed a cup of creamy pumpkin soup, a pleasant reminder that Halloween would soon be upon them. Maddie loved holidays, and somehow, by hook or by crook, she would decorate their camp to make it look festive. Caleb kept saying he had a plan for Christmas, but she had no intention of leaving it all up to him.

  Soon she was sitting in front of a desk, facing her oncologist. He was a stout, older man with a bald pate that shone like a beacon in the overhead lights. His sharp, humorless blue eyes told Maddie that he’d learned to distance himself emotionally, and she didn’t blame him a bit. The success rates for curing many kinds of cancer had risen, but this man still faced failures in his profession, and it had surely taken a toll.

  “I’ll put your mind at ease right away. Your cancer hasn’t returned. The images we took last week were absolutely clear.”

  Maddie relaxed in the leather swivel chair. “That’s good news.”

  “It’s all good news today. Low doses of this new drug every two weeks seem to have worked beautifully. I admit that I had reservations when your former oncologist in California suggested this approach to treatment, but at this juncture, I’m a believer. It’s been more than six months since your surgery. After nine months of treatment, I won’t have a qualm about reducing the frequency of your infusions or stopping them altogether.”

  Maddie felt as if she floated out of his office after the appointment. Her big Christmas gift this year would be having treatments only once a month from there on out, or possibly being finished with them.

  Maddie took a short nap after she got home and put the groceries away. Then she went to work in her small kitchen to fix an early dinner. She hoped to get Caleb home from visiting his dad at the hospital tonight at an early enough hour for him to get a good night’s sleep.

  The meal was almost ready when Caleb came in, jabbering a mile a minute with Sam, who followed him into the trailer. Sam took off his hat and inclined his head to say hello.

  “Gram, we’ve got plenty of food. Right? I invited Sam to have dinner with us.”

  Inwardly Maddie groaned. Outwardly she smiled. She’d fixed a ground beef version of stroganoff. It wasn’t exactly haute cuisine, a one-skillet offering created to fill hungry stomachs while not necessarily appealing to one’s taste buds. “It’s not fancy, but there’s plenty,” she settled for saying. “We’d both love to have you.”

  “Normally I wouldn’t intrude on such short notice, but I’m hoping to go with you to the hospital tonight. Kirstin called. Cam can have friends or family visit him now, and I’d like to thank him for saving my daughter’s life.”

  Maddie wasn’t so sure that Cam counted Sam as a friend, but she wouldn’t argue the point. She dished up the stroganoff and set it on the table, and each of them sat down on space-saving stools to eat. Caleb wolfed down his food and then put his plate and plastic flatware in the trash.

  “I gotta go do my math assignment, Gram. It won’t take me that long, and then we can leave to go see Dad.”

  Sam, still eating, gazed after the departing youth. “He’s a nice young fellow, Maddie. You’ve done a fine job of helping to raise him.”

  Maddie swallowed and wiped the corners of her mouth with a paper napkin. “It definitely was a joint effort. Cam went to school and worked when Caleb was little. It fell to me and Graham to be stand-in parents. It was nice, actually. We were at an age when we could really enjoy him.”

  “Maybe I’ll get to experience that with some grandchildren.” Maddie had made coffee and served them both a cup. Sam took a slow sip of his. “Kirstin and I talked a little at the hospital. All she really wants is some freedom. I’m going to try my best to give her that.”

  “I don’t think you have a choice. I could be mistaken, but I believe she and Cam love each other.”

  “I haven’t a doubt,” he agreed.

  They ate for a moment in silence. Maddie, whose appetite was on and off again, finished first and excused herself to dispose of her plate and utensils. While she was bent over the trash receptacle, Sam asked, “Since your husband died, have you ever considered having a relationship?”

  She straightened and turned to look at him. “I’m not interested in anything but friendship.” Palm turned downward, she marked a spot just under her chin. “From here down, I’m
a dead unit, just as I once told you.”

  Sam chuckled. “That’s a dangerous thing to tell a man. He may want to recharge your batteries.”

  “Trust me, Sam, my batteries are well beyond being recharged. I wouldn’t pass on an offer of friendship, though. You and I have some important things in common, and each of us can understand how the other one feels. Since losing Graham I’ve felt so alone. Cam and Caleb grieve for Graham, but that’s different.”

  “Can mere friends go out to dinner and maybe take in a film?” he asked.

  “I’d love to do dinner and a movie. I used to go out with Graham, but after his death, I felt conspicuous. Eating out alone is no fun, and neither is watching a film on your own.”

  “Isn’t it awful?” Sam shook his head. “I felt like people were staring at me and never went again.”

  They were still discussing the topic when Caleb finished his homework. When they climbed into Sam’s truck for the drive to Missoula, the boy said, “Can I go with you guys and help pick the movie?”

  Sam shrugged. “I see no reason why not.”

  • • •

  When Cam came home, Maddie had no time for frivolous things like dining out or seeing a movie. She barely found time to write. With only a trailer, a cabin, and two tents, she had no area large enough to accommodate the needs of someone in a wheelchair. She went online and desperately searched for a home she might temporarily rent, only none that she found accepted one pet, let alone three dogs and six cats. She even offered an absurdly huge security deposit and still couldn’t negotiate a rental agreement.

  Cam’s right leg wouldn’t support his weight, and his ribs pained him horribly when he attempted to use crutches. Caleb missed a day of school to build his father wheelchair ramps, which worked beautifully, but the moment Cam got on the gravel, his chair got stuck.

  “This is ridiculous,” Kirstin cried when she came to visit. “The nurses said he should use the crutches only to reach the restroom. Swinging his weight on his arms may prevent that detached rib from healing properly.”

  Maddie knew the younger woman was right. But she had no solution.

  “While Cam recovers,” Kirstin went on, “I want your whole family to stay at my place. The house is huge, with three empty bedrooms. And I’d love to have you.”

  “I appreciate the offer,” Maddie said, “but I don’t feel comfortable with that idea.”

  Cam seconded Maddie’s vote. “We aren’t moving in on you, Kirstin. I wouldn’t feel right about it.”

  Maddie was left to walk back and forth between shelters, carrying meals to Cam, gathering his laundry, and taking it to the cook shack to wash it. That didn’t include checking on him countless times in between. By the end of the third day, she was so exhausted that she groaned as she fell into bed, and the next morning she could barely force herself to get up. She felt weak and sick to her stomach. Normally once she had a good day after a chemo treatment, she felt fine until she had another infusion. She had physically overdone it, she guessed, but what choice did she have? Cam couldn’t fare on his own yet.

  She was in the cabin, helping her son get up to greet the day, when Sam made a surprise visit. He took one look at Maddie and asked, “Are you sick?”

  She’d never been comfortable with lying. She preferred to be evasive. But if she looked half as bad as she felt, Sam would see right through her. “I’m just feeling under the weather.”

  He studied her with a sharp gaze. “You need to go back to bed. I’ll take care of Cam until Kirstin can get here.”

  “I can’t let you do that. It’s a huge imposition.”

  “I insist,” Sam replied. “If you have something contagious and Cam catches it, it won’t be good. With broken ribs, coughing or vomiting hurts like the devil, and the strain of either one may do a lot of damage.”

  As reluctant as Maddie was, and as certain as she was that Cam wouldn’t catch anything, she went back to bed. She fell asleep almost instantly.

  • • •

  Sam grabbed a camp chair and sat beside Cam’s bed. Cam eyed the older man warily. They’d never spoken to each other when only the two of them were present, and Kirstie’s father looked like a man with a lot on his mind. He wasn’t sure what to expect.

  What he didn’t expect was for Sam to say, “This is too much for your mother, son. She looks like death warmed over.”

  Guilt stabbed through Cam’s chest. “I know. I never saw this coming. The problem is, there’s not much I can do to make it easier on her.”

  “Yes, there is,” Sam replied. “You can swallow your pride and move your family to my place. It’s even larger than Kirstin’s house. I have five extra bedrooms, three on the ground floor. Miguel and I can build you a ramp so you can get down the front steps. It’ll be a much better place for you to recover, and it’ll make things far easier for your mother.”

  “I can’t do that. Mom won’t agree to it. She doesn’t exactly like you.”

  Sam’s face creased in a grin. “Actually, while you were in the hospital, we talked for hours and became friends. Only friends, but we’ve agreed that it would be nice to do dinner and a movie some night. Maybe more than once. We’re about the same age, and we’ve both lost our spouses. Each of us needs someone to do things like that with.”

  “You’re kidding. What about the six-foot brick wall and all those no-trespassing signs?”

  Rubbing his jaw, Sam replied, “I’ve changed my mind about the wall. I didn’t get far with it, and I’ve decided to build a nice ranch entrance instead. As for your mom’s signs, she hasn’t had time to remove them, but I’m sure she will.”

  Cam had difficulty grasping all this. “She still won’t want to stay in your house.”

  “She will if you convince her it’s the best thing for you.”

  “I can’t even convince myself of that.” Cam didn’t consider himself to be prideful, but the McLendons didn’t like feeling obligated to anyone. “That being the case, I won’t have much luck convincing Mom.”

  Sam spread his hands palm up and studied the lines on them. “You wouldn’t be in this shape if you had let that bull trample my daughter to death. I owe you a debt I’ll never be able to repay. At least let me make you and your family comfortable in my home until you’ve recovered.”

  “It wasn’t some huge act of courage,” Cam clarified. “Things happened so fast I didn’t even have time to think. I didn’t try to save her so you’d feel obligated to me in any way. That’s for sure.”

  “But I do feel obligated, and I don’t like owing anyone.”

  “I don’t either.”

  “Then accept my offer so I can feel that we’re halfway even. What I first said still stands. This is too much for your mother.”

  “I know that.”

  “Then for her sake, accept my offer.”

  Cam thought about it for a moment. Then he locked gazes with Sam. “Do you always get your way?”

  “Mostly.”

  Cam laughed and regretted it when pain tore across his rib cage. It took him several seconds to recover enough to speak. “Mom might agree if we pay you a hefty amount in rent.”

  “Don’t insult me, young man.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Maddie awakened to the smell of food cooking. Her stomach rolled, reminding her of when she’d had morning sickness years ago. She had no idea why she felt nauseated. Exhaustion must have been taking its toll on her weakened body, she guessed. Still fully clothed except for her boots, she sat up and saw Sam standing in front of her tiny gas range. He glanced up the short hallway that housed her bathroom sink on one side and a toilet-shower combo on the other.

  “I’m making lunch—nothing fancy, only grilled-cheese sandwiches.”

  Even though her stomach still pitched, Maddie felt rested. “That’s good of you. How long did I sleep?”

 
“Around five hours. I checked to make sure you were breathing a couple of times.” He sent her an amused look. “You snore.”

  Maddie arched her brows. “No, I don’t. I stayed awake one night to see.”

  With the easy grace of a man at home in a kitchen, he flipped the sandwiches. “Ah, well, it’s a soft snore, not a wall shaker.”

  Maddie bent to put her boots on. Then she finger-combed her hair as she entered the kitchen. “Thank you for the break. I needed it.”

  While Sam moved the sandwiches onto a waiting platter, she gathered paper plates, napkins, and cutlery. Then they walked together to Cam’s cabin. “You should have worn a pedometer over the last few days,” he said. “I bet you clocked in some miles running around this camp.”

  Maddie nodded. “It’s not a convenient situation. Before Cam got hurt, we made it work, but now it’s impossible for him.”

  Sam switched the platter to one hand and rapped on the cabin door.

  “I’m decent,” Cam called out.

  They entered the room. Sam set the platter on the table Cam used for work and then positioned two chairs beside the bed. Maddie assisted him in serving, declining any food for herself. That turned out to be a good thing, because the men had just started eating when Kirstin showed up. She had fully recovered from her leg injury and no longer limped. Maddie found another chair and offered Kirstin lunch.

  “Dad cooked?” She laughed. “At home, he has Mrs. Alvarez for that. I’m surprised he remembers how.”

  “I give the woman weekends off when she wants them. Mostly she prefers to get the hours, but I do cook for myself now and again.”

  Cam finished most of his sandwich before setting his plate aside. “Mom, I reached a decision while you were asleep. Staying in camp isn’t working for me. Please don’t get upset, but Sam offered to let us stay at his place until I’m recovered, and I’ve accepted the invitation.”