Midnight Secrets

by Rita Stradling

  “What if my accommodation was for there to be no light at all?” I asked.

  “It’s possible. But I don’t understand why you’d want that.” Richard crossed his legs and regarded me seriously. “In the simulation we did, only the people inside the buildings had night-vision goggles, but everyone gets the opportunity to wear them. They also get flashlights.”

  “Meaning, that a few lit flashlights would provide enough light for the night vision goggles to work.” Susie set her elbows on her knees and leaned in toward me. “You know that you would be the only one that couldn’t see.”

  “I’m really good at moving in the dark.” Part of me just wanted to lean in and say, so, I’m a vampire, and I have thermal vision in the darkness. But, I made a promise to Justin, and, until I had a really essential reason to break it, I wouldn’t.

  “You did manage to sneak past Michael and Mia and trick them into attacking each other. Aside from Susie here and Braiden, they’re the best. It had to be pitch black in that shop.” Richard rubbed his chin. “I mean no offense by this, but I think we can all agree that you’re not going to outfight or outrun the alumni. Maybe you can sneak by and trick them.”

  Susie leaned her head back and forth, considering. “They’ll already be underestimating her, and with an accommodation like that, they’ll expect it to be laughably easy.”

  “Unfortunately, Blackburn has several alumni who think it's their personal mission to eliminate what they consider a weak competitor from the trials,” Richard pointed out, grimly. “They’ll be out for your blood. They were out for mine.” Richard rubbed his chin. “Thankfully, I had luck on my side that day. Hopefully, you will, too.”

  “You know, January, I think it actually might play to your advantage to have the alumni underestimate you even more than they already do.” Susie shrugged. “Maybe they’ll be so confident that you can slip right by them.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Susie offered me a ride home after I honed my sneaking skills for two hours. Thankfully, no one was in the park, because Richard had me crab-walking the bike trails and army-crawling up and down the playground like a complete weirdo.

  As I climbed into Susie’s sedan, I couldn’t help but notice how pretty everything in her car was. There were tons of little touches, like fairy wings hanging from her mirror and a unicorn sitting on her dashboard. Her vehicle also smelled better than I knew it was possible for a car to smell, like cinnamon and fresh baked cookies.

  Before we’d pulled out of the parking lot, Susie smiled and said, “So, Braiden Conway wants me to tell you that he’s very interested in you, if he hasn’t already made that abundantly clear.” She was smiling back in the rearview mirror as she said it, but I could hear the good-natured eye roll in her voice. “Which I am sure that he has.”

  “Is Braiden like the school flirt or something?” I asked. If he was, it would actually be a little bit of a relief.

  “I wouldn’t go that far.” Susie giggled as she turned onto the road that led back toward the Roberts Mansion. “Maybe nobody mentioned this, but there’s a ratio of one and a half guys to one girl at Blackburn. Actually, it’s more like two to one. Obviously, the scholarship ratio is more like ten to one. So, at this point, I am the only female high school senior who isn’t disgustingly rich. Don’t get me wrong; there are awesome rich chicks, Mia is a good example, but a lot of the straight girls at our school look at the scholarship boys as the ones to have fun with before their real relationships if you know what I mean.”

  “I know the type. Well, I know that attitude all too well.” I leaned back in my chair. “That’s why I avoid even middle-class boys. Actually, that’s why I guard my heart with barbed wire.”

  It was also why I knew better than to let Justin keep me as his secret whatever. Our situation might be worlds more complicated than that, but at the root of it all, that was how it felt.

  She shot a look over. “Do you have any spare barbed wire?”

  I was pretty sure Susie didn’t need or want a barbed wire heart, but I told her, “Sure. Always have plenty of that to spare.”

  “Anyway, to answer your question about Braiden, yes, he’s an infamous flirt at school, but he doesn’t actually date or even hook up with the girls he flirts with. It’s just sweet. So . . .?” She drew the word out into a question.

  “Trust me, I wish I could like Braiden, but I just can’t right now.” We drove for a second in silence when I realized where we were. “Shoot, Susie. Not to change the subject, but I need to tell you what really happened this morning so you can tell whoever needs to know.”

  “What do you mean? Something else happened?”

  “Right there . . .” I paused to gesture to the side of the road where daylight had completely transformed the small strip of pine forest, “This is the spot from this morning where those guys cornered me.”

  “Guys? I thought Braiden said it was one guy.”

  “No, there were several, and I don’t think they were human. They were crawling through the forest toward me.” Even the memory made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end again. “One of them called me something like a sab and accused me of being his enemy.”

  Susie’s jaw dropped. “He called you a sab?”

  “That’s one of those things you can’t tell me about, isn’t it?” I asked.

  “I can tell you that you’re not one,” she whispered. Susie remained silent until she pulled into the parking lot of the main house and shut off her engine.

  “After what you told me, I’m going to go to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Roberts if they’re awake.” She nodded. “They’ll make sure to tell the right people and get things in motion.”

  “Do you want me to go with you?”

  “It’s probably best I go alone. They know me really well. Justin and I actually used to be pretty good friends, if you can believe it.”

  “What happened?” I fisted my hands at my sides. “Sorry. You have to go. Don’t tell me.”

  Susie studied my expression. “You really care. Don’t you?”

  “It’s messy. It’s not as important as the other stuff.” I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to look into Justin’s past, but I was also desperate to know. As much as I hated it, the words Char said to me yesterday did get into my head.

  “I feel like it’s kind of talking behind his back, but then again, I really don’t care because he deserves it.”

  “I’m not going to say anything to him.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh, I don’t care about that.” Blowing out a slow breath, she leaned back into her seat. “So, all of us scholarship kids were friends with Justin and a few other of the legacy kids since the beginning of freshman year, but Zack was Justin’s best friend. They were basically brothers in all but blood.”

  “Zack?” I reeled back in surprise. “As in Zack Baldwin, your ex?”

  “The one and the same.”

  “They acted like they barely knew each other,” I said.

  “I’m honestly not surprised. Zack isn’t really one to show his feelings in front of strangers, and … Justin basically broke his heart for no reason.” Susie wiped at her eyes. “Like, when he and I broke up, it didn’t hurt him a fraction as much. Zack, Braiden, Justin, Richard, Patrick, and Mia were like this core group of overachievers. They were the best students and the best athletes, and there was this magical magnetism about them. Like, the Bad Boys Club was what kept us going most days, but those guys ruled the school. As Zack’s girlfriend and Richard and Mia’s best friend, I was on the fringe of their group, and people even treated me like I was a magical unicorn. Then one day last summer, Justin dropped off the face of the planet.”

  “Last summer?” I asked, my stomach twisting.

  “Yeah. And, Justin came back to the school as the boy we now call Satan.” She shot a glare back at the house. “Without a word of explanation, he was cold as a winter storm in the Arctic. He didn’t even say hello to any of us scholarship kids. It was like, sudd
enly, he only saw bank accounts and ours were sorely lacking. He went from Zack’s best friend of three years to acting like he didn’t even know him. Then, Justin started throwing all these parties with his fellow legacy kids and guess who specifically wasn’t invited.”

  “Zack?”

  “Every single one of us scholarship students. Justin announced it. If you showed up to one of Justin Roberts’ parties uninvited, you got a beer poured on your head. Then you got escorted out by the local PD. At first, we thought he was joking.” She glared back at the house again. “From what you told me, you got the Justin Roberts special.”

  “Yeah.” Dread thrummed through me with every word. Could it be a coincidence that I started drinking Justin’s blood regularly at the same time as his personality change? What was going on with him sounded a lot like what happened to someone when they picked up a new drug addiction. Were my bites detrimental and addictive like a drug? He obviously really enjoyed me biting him and didn’t want me to stop.

  Was I reading this all wrong?

  Was Justin fighting to keep me in his life but not entangled in his life because I was his secret drug addiction? Did he not even see me as a person? Was the affection he directed at me the same tenderness and adoration that my mother bestowed on a bottle of vodka?

  My mind was spinning so fast that I almost missed what Susie said next.

  “It honestly wouldn’t be so bad if it was only Justin. But his attitude had a snowball effect. Legacy students who we thought were our friends pretended like they didn’t even know us anymore. We soon discovered that Justin had been a wall of protection against the Elites, and that wall was gone. We also didn’t realize how much pent up jealousy and contempt had been brewing toward Zack and the other boys who’d enjoyed this huge popularity pedestal for two years, and as soon as the high platform tipped . . .”

  “The crows descended?” I asked.

  “Vultures.” She held up her hands. “Justin singlehandedly divided our student body and all so he could party. And, he doesn’t even seem happy about it, just cold.”

  Ah. Now the nickname made sense. Justin hadn’t merely fallen. He’d taken all the angels down with him. Now, heaven and hell were divided, and they viewed him as the leader of that divide.

  Swallowing hard, I steadied myself and asked what I needed to. “Was it a certain time of the summer?”

  “Yeah. August fifteenth. Exactly one week before school started up again, and he just stopped answering all of our phone calls and text messages.”

  August fifteenth. Justin and I had met on the fourteenth. I woke in the morgue on the seventh and waited precisely a week to call the hotline for blood. Justin had changed the day after I first bit him. Not only that, I drank his blood twice more before he’d returned to school.

  Tears formed in my eyes, and I turned to the car door. “Thanks so much for the ride, Susie. And, thank you for telling the Robertses about what happened this morning. It terrified me, and I didn’t really know the best way to tell someone, so thanks.”

  “Anytime. Hey, are you okay?” she asked, leaning forward.

  I kept my eyes on the door handle. “Just, what happened today is still bothering me. And, I pulled an all-nighter last night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “How about I pick you up?” She asked as I climbed out of the car.

  “Then you get less time with Richard.” I went to close the door.

  “Hey January,” Susie called, making me pause. Her eyes met mine and held. “You’re allowed to take up space, okay? Just let me pick you up because I really think you might be in danger if I don’t.”

  Nodding, I closed the door and rushed away. Tears coursed down my face, and I didn’t want her to see.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Like a complete and total coward, I had my grandmother cancel my drive with Justin. What I actually did was pretend to be fast asleep in my room, and when she woke me to say that Justin was at the door, I asked if she’d tell him that I wasn’t feeling well.

  I had become what I despised most. I was an addictive substance. I couldn’t even really hate myself for it. It wasn’t my fault; it was all just tragic. It was tragic that I believed that Justin cared for me when I was the embodiment of his sickness. It was tragic that I had entered a person’s life and torn it apart without ever meaning to.

  And, as much as I didn’t want it to be true, the pieces fit together so perfectly.

  I wished I never moved here. And, in the deepest part of my heart, I knew that it wouldn’t be right to take the Roberts’ scholarship. In Gina Roberts’ blissful ignorance, she believed that if she gave me the grant, Justin would wake up from this strange, changed version of himself.

  She thought I would be his salvation.

  Oh, how wrong she was.

  I was his ruin.

  But, after the members of the Bad Boys Club sacrificed their after-work and weekend summer hours to help me, I had to compete in the trials. I wouldn’t be able to look myself in the mirror if I didn’t. It broke my heart. Over the past several days, I started to believe that Blackburn Academy was the key to finding out what I was now. It was the gateway to a world of supernatural humans. There had only ever been a very slim chance that I’d pass the trials. The probability that I’d score in the top twelve of 300 applicants? Astronomically low.

  But I had to try anyway.

  So, as soon as Nana headed downstairs to tell Justin that I was unavailable, I sat up in my bed and reopened my calculus book.

  Nana came into my room as I worked through a problem. The bed slumped down, and Nana’s hand came to rest on my shoulder. “He was almost frantic, honey. He said he heard that you were attacked in the forest. He was distraught that no one even mentioned it to him. I guess he heard it from one of his friends.”

  “Did you tell him that I was fine?” I asked while rubbing my throat, feeling like it was all clogged up.

  “Yes, but were you attacked in the forest?” She leaned forward, her big brown eyes full of concern.

  “It wasn’t anything, Nana. There was a creepy guy who said creepy things, but Braiden, the guy who works at the gatehouse, drove by and gave me a ride. Nothing happened.”

  Nana’s eyelids narrowed. “Is this a love triangle?”

  Even though I was miserable, I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “A love triangle?”

  “You, Braiden, and Justin Roberts? Like in that teen movie. Are you in a triangle?” she asked. “Because if you are, I have some paperwork for these boys. The application process won’t be too hard.”

  “Ah, the whole turnabout is fair play card, Nana. I should have expected this.” My momentary mirth dropped off a cliff, leaving me miserable again, and I shook my head. “Nope, I’m in a love oval, as in zero love. That’s what I want.”

  “All right.” She set down a piece of paper before me with a phone number written across it. “I wouldn’t give him your number, so he asked me to do everything in my power to make you call him.”

  “He shouldn’t have asked you to do that.”

  “I think that he’s under the impression that you were attacked and possibly hurt out in the woods today. He seems very concerned. Maybe could you just assure him that you’re unharmed?” Squeezing my shoulder, she leaned in to give me a quick peck on my forehead.

  “Nana,” I called over as she headed for the door.

  She turned back, framed in the doorway.

  “If I don’t pass the trials or get a scholarship to Blackburn, you’ll still go dancing with me if I compete, right? And when I say go out, I mean to meet potential love interests.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh, you’ll be the death of me.” Shaking her head, she walked out of the room but called back, “Fine.”

  Snuggling up against Bailey, I tried to concentrate on my work, but it distinctly felt like the note with Justin’s phone number was staring up at me.

  Was I cruel for letting him continue to worry?

  A snide thought slipp
ed its way into my mind. Was he worried about the danger to me or my bite? It was a vindictive thought and a pointless one. Resenting him for his addiction wouldn’t make any of this better.

  I picked up my phone and texted Justin’s number.

  Me: This is January. My nana said you were worried, but I’m safe. I just pulled an all-nighter, so I slept all day.

  Justin responded immediately.

  Justin: Come down and meet me?

  Me: I’m so sorry. I have to cancel tonight.

  Justin: You live a hundred feet from where I’m standing. Can’t we just have this conversation in person?

  I dropped my phone on the bed and squeezed my hands together. Damn it. We weren’t even really ever together; why was this so hard?

  Taking a few deep breaths, I picked my phone back up and wrote my final message to Justin.

  Me: I’m not going to accept your parents’ scholarship. It wouldn’t be right of me. But I am going to compete in the trials. We need to stop hanging out.

  Holding my breath, I pressed send. Justin’s text came seconds later.

  Justin: Fuck that.

  I blocked his number. Unlike when I did it with Char, no part of me felt satisfied. But it was the right thing to do.

  Less than twenty-four hours later, I realized my noble sacrifice of the scholarship didn’t even matter. I had been on my way in after a morning full of working on my sneaking technique with Richard and Susie when I got a call from my nana telling me that Mr. George Roberts wanted to talk to me.

  Across the distance of Mr. Roberts’ massive mahogany desk, the Roberts patriarch and I considered each other. The jovial, barrel-chested man looked distinctively uncomfortable as he swallowed a couple of times. “January, my dear, I’ve heard you’ve been working really hard this week.” He paused to clear his throat. “Well, I really hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’re going to have to withdraw our offer of the scholarship.”

  Even though I knew it was coming from the moment Nana called me, my heart dropped. I’d already decided against taking the scholarship, but I had needed it to be still on offer so I could compete. At least, I thought it did.