Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain

by Ryan Blair

  I call that making a new deal. If you can’t honor the first deal, make a new one and do whatever it takes to honor it.

  There will be times, of course, when you honor a deal and get screwed. For example, one time there was a sales rep from my company who had gotten himself into a jam with the company he’d left. He asked me if I would help him pay his attorney’s fees.

  I didn’t take the time to explain to him that there would be a process for taking this matter to the board. I thought that when the time came to take it to the board members, it would be easy. I said yes, reluctantly, knowing that if I couldn’t get my board and partners to participate, I’d either have to break my deal or get stuck holding the bag.

  It did fall onto me, and I did honor it. I gave him $50,000 of my own money because I had made a commitment to honor the deal I’d made with him. It was a black-and-white case. I said I’d figure out how to help him when he came to me, and I had to honor the commitment. My board would have been very angry with this deal based on the result, and it wasn’t worth embarrassing myself over $50,000.

  I wrote that check and he cashed it. He immediately started using my own money to recruit against me when he joined another company. We later sued the guy and he owes me ten times the amount I’d loaned him, thanks to the terms we’d set if he breached the agreement. I don’t anticipate ever profiting or receiving my money back from that deal, although there’s a lawsuit against him and a team of attorneys waiting to suck the money out of any bank account he opens for the rest of his life.

  If I could go back and do it over again, I wouldn’t have made the deal in the first place. And although I’m not litigious, I will sue someone out of principle, and I’ll make it hurt, because even worse than having a reputation as someone who doesn’t honor his deals is having a reputation as someone who can be taken in business. If you can be taken, you will be. And no one steals my milk.

  The lesson in this chapter is obvious—if you want to be successful, you have to honor your deals. I am still earning dividends from deals I made a decade ago. But be careful what you take on, and try to learn from my shortsightedness. If you can’t honor a deal, make a new one and try to honor it. And when you’re dealing with your investors’ money, you have to act as if God himself wrote you the check.

  7

  SMARTEN UP

  Across the audience of thirty, a kid who’d raised his hand caught my attention. I pointed to him. He said, “I’m in jail. How am I supposed to become a millionaire like you?”

  Good question.

  I was standing in front of a room full of young men at the Judge Perrin Juvenile Detention Center, where I’d been invited to speak about the role entrepreneurship played in turning my life around. I had no idea what I was going to say to them when I got there, or where I’d start. Truthfully, I wasn’t prepared for how overwhelmed I would be by my surroundings.

  The original structure had been torn down years earlier and replaced by the building I was standing in, but even so, things were still the same. The cells were the same. I remembered sitting in them, sometimes twenty-three hours at a time in solitary confinement for fighting, counting the dots in the ceiling panels. I read my first book in those cells, and reread it until I could practically recite it from memory. The jumpsuits were the same, the smell was the same, and the guards were the same (much to my surprise, one of them recognized me). It had been eighteen years.

  “The first thing you guys have to do is smarten up,” I said, addressing his question. We handed out a first draft of Nothing to Lose to every inmate that day. “Take this book and read it. Some of the concepts will be over your head, but read it over and over. Write up a list of questions as you’re reading it.

  “Learning how to become an entrepreneur, like learning anything, is going to be complex and overwhelming at first. What if someone told you that if you took an ax and dug a hole in the ground every day for eighteen years, there would be millions of dollars waiting for you at the end. Would you do it? Wouldn’t anyone do it?

  “When my mother started dating my stepfather Bob, he gave me two rules: I had to go back to school and get my high school diploma, and I had to get a job. He was telling me I had to smarten up.”

  I’ve never passed a math aptitude test in my life. I read my first book when I was already a teenager in juvie. I dropped out of high school with hardly enough credits to be considered a freshman. To this day, I have a hard time with spelling, because of my dyslexia I couldn’t visualize words properly in my head.

  The idea of going back to school was terrifying. But I couldn’t jeopardize my chance for a better life, so I did it.

  Back in high school I realized something important: I wasn’t a visual learner. I can’t see something and then remember it, but I can hear something and recite it word for word. Even when I read, I don’t picture what I’m reading in my mind, but there is a voice inside my head narrating each sentence on the page. I got a tape recorder and started recording my classes, and the recordings allowed me to come back to the information every time my attention span had gotten off track. I finally started making progress.

  My stepfather decided to give me his own type of education. He gave me an audiotape series called Lead the Field by Earl Nightingale. His challenge to me was this: if I listened to the tapes and could pass his quiz at the end of it, he would take me clothes shopping so I could get a good job.

  The only way I can describe Earl Nightingale’s voice is to say that he sounds like an old radio announcer. For a kid who listened to nothing but rap like Snoop Dogg, Eazy-E, and Dr. Dre, it was a pretty big step to sit down and let some old white guy tell me that “you can do it” and that “attitude is everything.”

  But it was important enough for me to impress my stepfather, and besides, I had nothing to lose. So I put aside my judgments and listened for the key lessons. I even went to sleep listening to the tapes every night, and had dreams in the voice of Earl Nightingale.

  When it came time for my stepfather’s test, I knew the material by heart.

  The one-size-fits-all learning environment in school had turned out a miserable failure of a student until I figured out my learning style. Since then, I can now turn on my focus anytime I need to retain information, whether I’m sitting in a movie theater, listening to a song, or participating in a meeting with my management team.

  We love to dream of the day when we’ve finally “made it”—when there is nothing left to do, nothing left to worry about, nothing left to learn. Unfortunately, for an entrepreneur, that day will never come. You, the reader, also have to figure out your individual learning strategy, because if you want to be successful, you’re going to have to become a lifelong student. And at the pace of technological advancements, you’ll need to learn quickly to apply those lessons to keep up in business.

  Throughout my early twenties, I continued feeding myself information according to the style of learning I had discovered. One day I stumbled across a tape of one of Tony Robbins’s speeches. I was mesmerized. He was so dynamic and engaging that I hung on his every word, wanting not only to understand everything he was saying, but also to learn how he was doing it—what made him so convincing, so trustworthy, and so likable.

  I read and studied everything about him I could find, I interviewed his ex-employees, and I watched his tapes; and the more I learned, the more I realized that he was an act. Sure, he believed what he was selling, and I did find his concepts credible, but come on, could a guy really be that perfect? After getting my hands on some of his “behind the scenes” tapes, I realized that the guy on the television cursed like a sailor and was actually a hustler, just like me. I didn’t like his act, but when I peeled back the layers, his core was real. I respected who he was when the cameras weren’t on (or at least when he didn’t know they were on).

  I knew that someday, that was what I wanted to do. I wanted to empower people. I wanted to tell my story and help others overcome their stories. Tony Robbins represented e
verything that I wanted to do, and he did it better than anyone else. So I studied him and smartened up.

  There is a reason why we admire certain people. They espouse something that strikes a chord within us. Be it their innate talent, drive, wisdom, or attitude, there is a reason we find certain individuals fascinating, and if we can harness that same spark that made them great, perhaps we can achieve greatness as well. In some cases, like this one, I even admire my competition.

  We all have heroes.

  I read every blog, trade magazine, and book, and listen to anyone telling the story of an individual who is successful in any category I have interest in. In fact today my good friend was telling me about an article in Rolling Stone about how Marshall Mathers (Eminem) got over the death of his best friend. I went out and found the back issue of Rolling Stone because at the time I was going through the death of my stepfather, and I figured I could learn something from how he rebounded from his lows. Besides, I’ve always identified with Marshall, his path to success, and the difficulty he had in overcoming that.

  After reading the article, I penned him a note with an advance copy of this book. This is an example of how I’m reaching out to my heroes, creating common interest and connection.

  I use this type of approach, whether it’s a book I’ve written or a book I’ve read, with anyone I want to do business with and learn from—whether it’s a fortune 500 CEO or Emmy award–winning musician.

  WHO’S YOUR MENTOREN?

  When I toured Norway in 2008, the Norwegian Financial Times (Finansavisen , Oslo) featured me in an article. Across the two-page spread of my ugly mug was the word mentoren. I thought it was funny because it sounded so superhero-like, and in real life a mentor isn’t necessarily a superhero. Aim high, but don’t wait for a super businessman to save your day. Find a mentor, any mentor, to help show you the ropes and refine your ideas. Find anyone better than you are at what you want to do, and start there.

  I’ve been extremely fortunate because my first mentor was my stepfather, Robert Hunt. I got to learn how to create definitions for success, how to be a good father and husband, how to run a business, and how to live a life fulfilled—all by watching up close and in person a man who embodied all of these attributes and more.

  My nature is introverted, and even though I’m comfortable speaking in front of the largest audiences, I won’t always say hi to everyone at a party. It’s not that I don’t care, I just feel awkward. And if I do say hi to everyone, it’s only because I know that everyone will think I’m rude if I don’t. Bob was the best extrovert I’ve ever met, the opposite of me. He’d say hello to everyone at the party, and good-bye to everyone before he left. He’d throw his arms out and hug people, and they loved it.

  That was something Bob did naturally, and his warmth yielded him very successful relationships both in business and his personal life. Again and again I watched the way people responded to his hugs and handshakes. How he would do favors for people and how glad they were to do things for him in return. It made his life easier. Bob was my model for creating successful relationships with people, and I learned how to adapt my behavior in order to get the same results.

  With or without realizing it, every successful person has created behaviors—systems for greeting people, networking, and making telephone calls to aid them in their pursuits. By observing the traits of successful people, you can create your own system for success.

  As I said, I got lucky when I found my first mentor. But if you haven’t been so fortunate to have one in your immediate network, how do you find the right person to teach you?

  You have to be willing to at least write a letter, make a phone call, or reach out in some way to ask for a meeting. If you don’t at least try, you’ll never even have the chance.

  I meet people through networking. I go to charity events or attend conferences in my industry. And when someone seems as if she could mentor me on a subject I could use some help on, I go to work thinking of how I could add value to her life in return for her help. The key is in how you approach people, and how well you’ve prepared.

  Here’s an example from personal experience. Because I speak at many of these events, I have had individuals approach me afterward and say things like, “Ryan, here’s my card with my contact information. What you said was extremely relevant to my business. My goal is to learn everything I possibly can about this industry because I want to build a very successful company within it. Do you mind if I take two or three minutes of your time to learn a few things from you?”

  My answer is always that I’d be happy to give that person a few minutes of my time because it is clear to me that he will have targeted specific questions. If I feel he’s going to be vague, I won’t reply.

  Think about what would happen if Michael Jordan were to sit down for an interview with a sports journalist who said, “Oh my gosh, you’re just the best! Can you teach me how to be a successful basketball player?” He’d probably just smile and give some generic answer like, “Thanks. The secret to success is to work hard and never give up on your dreams.” But if that same journalist were to say, “I’ve studied your game, and I notice that in certain circumstances, you tend to prefer X technique, which goes against conventional wisdom. Clearly it worked for you, though—would you mind explaining why you chose to play that way?” Suddenly the reporter has Jordan’s attention because he is demonstrating his own level of proficiency in the game as well as exhibiting specific knowledge of the person from whom he is seeking guidance.

  Specific questions are much more likely to lead to specific answers, but to ask those kinds of questions, you have to be fully knowledgeable about the subject area and the person you’re addressing. You should research the person thoroughly—read every newspaper or magazine article printed about her, try to track down each TV or radio interview she’s done, and learn whatever you can about her company. Only by doing your homework will you be in a position to ask the right kinds of questions that will set you apart from the other people seeking mentorship. If you show you’ve done your homework, the person will be impressed and engage with you. Showing her that you put in the time is a compliment to her.

  And this is what I call being a student of your industry.

  Here’s a proverb that might help: Never ask a question you can find the answer to otherwise. Find out company statistics and the basics of the person’s life through the various Internet resources available. Don’t waste your time or hers with questions that can be learned through research.

  I recently received a great interview tip from Coach Dale Brown. When he was offered his first head coach position in 1972, he made a list of people he wanted to interview who had the standards of speaking, public relations, and coaching that he hoped to incorporate into his own program. At the top of his list was legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden.

  But when Dale sat down to come up with a list of questions to ask this icon of his sport, he froze up and was completely at a loss as to where he should even start. Finally, he pulled out a notebook and wrote down the alphabet, using each letter to prompt ideas for his questions. When he went out to visit Coach Wooden, he ended up staying for five days and filling several notebooks full of advice and wisdom on a wide variety of issues, thanks to his alphabet notes. I used this technique to interview Coach Brown himself, and I can tell you it worked. Today, you can find that interview on www.youtube.com/nothingtolosevideo.

  Most of us will not be privileged enough to get five whole days with our mentors, but you don’t need five days if you prepare correctly.

  Another great way to make connections is through charity work. Any smart, ethical business owner is going to be involved with something that gives back, whether it is at the community level, in the fight against a specific disease, or in a broad campaign to address another social issue. If you are willing to take the time to roll up your sleeves—first, to find out what groups your targeted mentor works with, and second, to start giving your money, time,
or resources to that same group—you can find inroads to business mentors very quickly, and all while pursuing a worthy cause.

  My work with nonprofits has yielded me some great connections. One charity I support is Junior Achievement. Through Junior Achievement I have created lifelong friendships. For example, one friendship I formed was with a family who had a very successful business in the direct selling industry. Had they not given me a breakdown of the do’s and don’ts of the industry, I’d have missed out on a great connection and the confidence to start ViSalus. I have countless other examples of connections gained from making contributions to charities. If you don’t have money, you do have time, so volunteer with a charity that will help you build your network. Your network is money. Be smart about it.

  But here’s the thing: not everyone is going to say yes. Not every potential mentor is going to respond positively to your introduction or answer your letter. I was recently rejected when I didn’t follow my own advice and reached out to someone without reciprocal value to offer. (One day Warren Buffett will take my call.) And when that is the case, move on to the next 999 people who are relevant to your company. Once you look into it, you’ll find that there really is a long list of people from whom you could draw some form of mentorship. Search until you find the right match of relevant experience and knowledge, and the right chemistry between you and that person. You might very well hit it off with the person and end up saying, “We know some of the same people” or “We went to the same college.” You know you’ve hit the jackpot when the mentor you seek says, “You remind me of myself when I was at that stage in my career.” I’ll never forget when Russ Bik, a founder of Sun Microsystems, said that to me. When you make those kinds of connections, that’s when you have an open invitation to take the next step of asking for business mentorship.