The Tome of Bill (Book 8): The Last Coven

by Rick Gualtieri

  “Run!” I growled, my voice taking on a deeper cadence.

  To my surprise, though, he smiled at me. Goddamn, what a moron! Did he not realize this wasn’t some wrestling match he had ringside seats to? No, actually, knowing him, he probably didn’t. Next time Christy hexed him, she really needed to see about maybe whammying up a clue.

  The redness retreated from my vision and I realized my thoughts were interfering with my plans, driving back the rage while I contemplated what an idiot my best friend in this world was.

  He then inexplicably gave me a thumbs up and stepped to the side.

  The litter was empty.

  * * *

  The hell?

  Was it possible?

  A flash of white light, a small beacon in the darkness of the street, ignited in the corner of my eye. I turned in time to see Sheila launching herself at Grulg’s attackers. Okay, it was more a lurch than anything. She was moving far slower than normal with one hand clutching her side, but the glow around her was steady if somewhat fainter than it should have been.

  Fainter, but enough.

  She plowed into the group, and the two vamps closest to her burst aflame. Fuck yeah!

  Grulg roared, but it was in pain as the fur on one side of his body also ignited. Shit! Guess that answered the question as to whether her powers worked on the Feet. Hell of a fucking time to find out the answer.

  Fortunately, it was a glancing ... err ... sear. He stepped away from her and back into the shadows, allowing her to engage the remaining vamps with her powers.

  “Kill it!” Colin screamed.

  The men in front of him all trained their weapons her way. They opened fire in a thunderous explosion of sound, but I was already on the move.

  Getting shot sucks, even when you’re a vampire, but there was another target more appealing than me on the battlefield now. I tried not to be insulted that I wasn’t at the top of their hit list. Being number one wasn’t always a good thing.

  Sheila cried out, although whether in fury, fear, or pain, I wasn’t sure. Sadly, I could only hope her powers were strong enough to protect her. In order to win this, I had to erase the edge Colin’s men had and I couldn’t do that while standing there holding my dick.

  All thoughts of trying to summon the beast within fled my mind at the sight of her up and mobile again. However, I must’ve still had some residual adrenaline in my system because I hit the first vamp in the lineup like a runaway freight train.

  He went careening into the two buddies next to him, and so on like a row of dominos. Oh yeah, that was more like it.

  Some victories you savored like a fine meal, others you got your ass back into the game immediately. This was one of those latter.

  I let my momentum carry me forward, landing atop the vamp I’d plowed into. His body armor seemed a bit daunting to chew through, but fortunately he had no gloves on. I didn’t know where this guy’s fingers had been, but I knew where they were going.

  I grabbed hold and bit down with everything I had.

  Rather unsporting of me, especially since I chomped off his trigger finger, but sometimes you gotta do what needs to be done.

  The taste of gunmetal and blood filled my mouth, but I focused on the latter, taking a swallow and letting it do its job.

  Oh yeah. I began to power up. “It’s over 9,000, motherfuckers!”

  Well, okay, maybe not that much, but it was still a couple hundred years of vamp strength added onto my own. Even better, it allowed me to drag another in before anyone could stop me. This was more like it. Kevlar was closer to paper with the added boost. I ripped open his sleeve and dug in for another bite before the troops could rally themselves.

  Gun butts slammed into my back and ribs from above, but they were too late. Two vamps weren’t going to be enough to blow this one out of the water, but it helped solidify me as a solid threat to these assholes.

  Rough hands dragged me back to my feet, away from the vamps I’d already savaged. I didn’t do anything to stop them. As any gamer will tell you, fighting while prone was a good way to find your ass in need of a Breath of Life spell. Since we were a bit short on clerics, that wasn’t a particularly sound strategy.

  I came up and kicked out in front of me, nailing a couple of vamps who’d been all set to rearrange my teeth. They went flying, and then it was my turn.

  I used the extra oomph in my legs to launch myself and the two soldiers still holding me into the air. We landed on our backs, with me on top. But these guys were a persistent bunch. One tried to wrap an arm around my neck, but I caught him with my teeth instead, tearing out a big chunk of fabric and an even bigger chunk of flesh.

  Now we were cooking with gas. I’d have to remember to thank Colin.

  For good measure, I broke the arm holding me, then scrambled back to my feet.

  It was time to...

  Notice everyone had realized I was now the biggest threat on the playing field.

  I stood up to find every weapon in sight trained in my direction. Colin stood behind his men, a smug grin on his face as if he was a kid who’d just woken up on Christmas morning. His smile said it all: I’d finally given him an excuse to get rid of me once and for all.

  And the day had been going so well up until then.

  DWARF TOSSING

  I was debating which way to leap: up, to the side, anywhere that would result in the least amount of bullets perforating my body.

  I’d been expecting the deafening sound of gunfire, so I was caught by surprise when one of the vamp troopers instead said, “Sir! I think he’s the real deal.”

  “What did you say, soldier?” Colin asked, sounding amazed that one of his lowly dogs decided to pick that moment to bark.

  “Sir, I think he’s really the Freewill. Did you see what he did?”

  Well, what do you know? I had me a fan in the crowd. Maybe if I managed to survive this, I’d autograph his gun.

  Colin’s face flushed all sorts of red. Can’t say I didn’t enjoy it ever so slightly. It also gave me a split second to take stock of my friends.

  Sally was out of it, but alive. Two vamp soldiers were holding her up, but she appeared to have been worked over pretty good.

  Sheila was down on one knee. She didn’t look particularly great either, but she was still with us. I didn’t see any blood, at least. Her shield had held.

  “Fuck ’em all up, man!”

  Yep, Tom was fine. That left Grulg. I didn’t see him, but maybe that was a good thing. He’d proven a distraction before. With any luck...

  “I did not ask your opinion, child,” Colin said to his underling. “I am well aware that he is...”

  “The guy who’s working for Lord Alexander?” I interrupted, adding a little extra fuel to the flames.

  Doubt flashed in several of the eyes before me. Ah yes, if there was one thing the coven system instilled in the unwashed masses, it was an appreciation for name dropping.

  Colin realized it too, because he was quick to add, “By order of the First Coven, I am Prefect here and I declare these ... creatures to be enemies of our great nation.” I almost laughed, because it came out more a whine than an edict. Unfortunately for us, the next part did not. “I ORDER YOU TO EXECUTE THEM ALL, STARTING WITH THIS FOOL!!”

  Shit! I’d never known Colin to make with the compulsions. In the past, he’d always been the type to enforce the orders of his betters, not make them himself. Hell, I’d known him as an armchair general, a piss-poor one at that.

  All doubt and independent thought faded from the faces of the troops in front of me as their eyes glazed over one by one. I heard movement behind me and glanced back to find the two vamps I’d landed on boxing me in with their guns. I was surrounded. This was Colin’s winning hand, and it was a hard one to...

  Hold on. I wasn’t exactly a slouch at the moment either. Some days I am so stupid I even surprise myself.

  “NO!! KILL THAT FUCKER INSTEAD!!”

  Colin’s compulsion had been a
mighty shout, but mine was a fucking bullhorn. Sure, it wasn’t the most eloquent way of putting forth my desires, but sometimes you gotta be direct.

  A ripple passed over the crowd of vamps. They swayed on their feet and a few grabbed hold of their heads, but Colin remained irritatingly bullet free. The fuck?

  The arrogant cocksucker raised his hands and brought them together in a golf clap. “Nicely done, Freewill. Even I have to admit to being impressed with you for a rare change. Who would have thought you’d ever develop the competence to accomplish ... anything, really?”

  The soldiers in front of him appeared to have been knocked for a loop, but they still hadn’t ventilated this asshat. Why?

  “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already. Ah, I suppose that is to be expected from a lesser mind such as yours. I’ll give you a hint: Insulation.”

  Oh crap. He was right. James had told me himself. Prefects, office workers, shock troops, anyone who worked for the vampire hierarchy received a series of compulsions by older vamps. Folks like Vehron or Ib were ridiculously old and could force their way through most of it. Me, I hadn’t quite sucked down enough blood to be that effective. Shit!

  Still, even if they hadn’t blasted Colin’s head open like a ripe melon, the power in me – coupled with the doubt some of them seemingly felt – had been enough to slow them down. Which meant...

  “Fine, you win the game of compulsion tag. Here’s your prize, asshole.” Fast as I could, I grabbed hold of the vamp nearest me before he could resume his regularly scheduled programming and launched him into the air, over his buddies, and right into Colin’s smug face.

  I couldn’t control his troops, but I could scramble their circuits for a couple of seconds. Sadly, in doing so, I had a feeling any lingering doubt they had toward killing my ass was gonna be erased real quick.

  We needed an edge and this time one that would stick. We needed...

  Grulg!

  He stepped back out of the shadows, a few paces behind where Sheila was pulling herself to her feet. I let a smile play out on my face, but it immediately turned to a look of horror as he grabbed her and lifted her from the ground. What the fuck?

  Her aura flared to life around her as a look of shock replaced the one of pain on her face. Grulg’s hands ignited, but before the rest of him could, he let out a roar and threw her.

  * * *

  My own predicament was forgotten as I watched her tumble end over end through the air from a dozen yards away. What the fuck was that stupid monkey doing? We’d trusted him and he’d...

  Thrown her straight at the group of vamps threatening us.

  Okay, then.

  What he’d done was stupid as fuck and dangerous as all hell, considering how hurt Sheila was, but rational thought wasn’t really a Sasquatch forte. On the other hand, there was probably no better way to protect someone than to take out their enemies. She was basically the living embodiment of the holy hand grenade of Antioch.

  And she was heading this way.

  I instinctively stepped forward when something plowed into my blindside. It was a weak hit, nothing against my current power level, but it had caught me unaware. I stumbled and went down, my attacker atop me.

  My first thought was to remedy that situation. I rolled over and prepared to throw off ... Tom?!

  “You’ll thank me for this,” he said, still scrambling to cover me. “Oh, but just in case ... no homo.”

  A blaze of white light erupted around us. I couldn’t see much, but I could hear screams, ones that cut off quickly as their owners immolated. Sheila had landed and, though I had no way of knowing if she’d been injured even worse in the impact, it was plain to see her power washing over us.

  The exposed parts of my skin sizzled where it touched me, but Tom took the brunt of it, protecting me with his own body.

  He truly was the best of friends.

  Sadly, he was also a complete idiot. His body was currently made entirely of magic, and if there was one thing the power of faith did, besides turn vampires into charcoal, it was negate other magic.

  * * *

  Tom grinned down at me, but it changed into a look of surprise as his form began to shimmer under the onslaught of white light. His face began to droop almost as if he were made of melting candle wax. With some horror, and a serious sense of being weirded out, I realized he was liquefying atop me.

  I tried to push him off, but my hands sank right into his chest – an odd sensation: dry yet yielding at the same time. My analysis of his body composition came to an abrupt end, however, when I brushed up against something inside of him that felt akin to touching a live wire.

  All thought of being burned by Sheila’s power fled my mind as a jolt of magical electricity traveled up my arm, causing every muscle in my body to contract way past the point of breaking. Crackles of multi-hued lightning blotted out my vision, and I could smell my tongue beginning to smoke.

  A flash of memory stirred in my mind – stepping into the puddle of human fat in our basement. All at once, I understood what had happened. Not a fun way to go.

  I blinked steaming tears and saw a figure rise above us. He was wearing body armor and was aflame from Sheila’s power, but he still refused to give up. He raised the gun he was holding, rapidly turning red hot in his grasp. So I did the only thing I could think of.

  I shared the love.

  Though every muscle in my body felt like it had a mind of its own, I somehow tore one of my arms free, reached out, and grasped hold of his ankle.

  The result was nearly instantaneous. Between the power of faith and a generous jolt of Apollo’s junk, the vamp turned white hot from the inside out and immolated.

  Sadly, I was going to be next. The only thing saving me was the combined strength and healing of three vamps, but I had a feeling I’d just about reached my limit in this game of pass the shock ball.

  I was, quite literally, sinking into my friend as he melted around me ... very likely the weirdest fucking thing I had ever experienced. I couldn’t push him off me; he was too ... err ... goopy for that. The flaming vamp had given me an idea, though, one that was better than anything else that came to mind. I had already stopped and dropped. Now it was time to roll.

  Stuck as he was to me, Tom came along for the ride.

  The contractions in my muscles were getting worse. Much more and I’d shatter my teeth just by biting down. Adding to it, that first roll exposed my backside to Sheila’s power. Oh yeah, burning and frying, quite the combo.

  But I kept going – over and over, across the asphalt, away from her power, until I thought I had enough momentum to give a heave.

  Distanced from Sheila’s aura, Tom’s body regained just enough coherency for me to get one hand on his chest and shove with everything I had.

  He went flying off me, pulling away with a disturbing schlup sound as if I’d just unclogged a toilet with my fist.

  Speaking of which, it was a good thing I was right handed, because my left was a mangled mess of exposed bone and grizzle.

  Still, it wasn’t over yet. I’d probably burned through – pun definitely intended – most of the stolen power in me, but there was a bit left. I rolled to my feet, my healing already starting to mend my injuries, and took stock of the situation.

  Grulg had engaged the vamps who’d been working over Sally. They were keeping him at bay, but not for long. She was on her knees behind them, but conscious again. She glanced my way through one eye that wasn’t swollen shut and gave a single shake of her head, the meaning clear – these assholes were hers. With Grulg helping her out, I decided to give her this one.

  Sheila was likewise down. There was a sizzling aura of white power around her, but she otherwise didn’t look too hot. Thankfully, she’d gotten the job done. All around her, discarded weapons and body armor lay amidst piles of smoking ash.

  I hobbled over, feeling my flesh regenerating with every step.

  She looked up as I approached, but her eyes had a dazed look abou
t them.

  “Hey,” I said gently and a bit slurred as my tongue was still repairing itself. “Turn off the light show. It’s me.”

  She blinked, gave her head a shake, and then spat out a wad of blood. Finally, her power fizzled and then collapsed in on itself.

  I stepped up and offered her my good hand. “Are you okay?”

  “Not really,” she replied weakly. “Wasn’t ... expecting that.”

  “Yeah, Grulg played dwarf toss and unfortunately, you got to be Gimli.”

  I got the feeling my joke fell flat with her, but she smiled anyway. “At least ... these guys were here to ... cushion my fall.”

  “That’s the spirit,” I replied. “Now we just have to...”

  I didn’t get a chance to finish. The words were lost in my throat, but even if they hadn’t been, the sound of gunfire this close would have rendered them unheard.

  That was okay. What I had to say wasn’t important anyway, especially not compared to the ragged gunshot wounds opening up along my torso and the searing pain that followed. Yes, indeed, Colin’s men had been armed with silver bullets.

  Well, at least that question was answered.

  A COMPELLING ARGUMENT

  I was knocked off my feet and landed roughly on the back of my head. I thought I saw stars, but then realized it was just the fireworks erupting from where the silver touched my blood.

  So ... pretty.

  I spied Colin standing with a gun in his hands, wearing a look of distaste as if he was irked he’d been forced to get his hands dirty. Poor baby.

  He aimed it at Sheila, still on her knees, then seemed to realize the futility of doing so. Instead, he spun the rifle, grabbed it by the barrel, and swung it like a baseball bat.

  Her power flared up, but only at a fraction of its normal intensity. The aura appeared to mute the blow, but didn’t stop it fully. I heard the thunk of it connecting with flesh and then Sheila was knocked back, rolling with the blow and holding on to her ribs.

  Colin was left slightly singed by the encounter but otherwise got the better end of that deal. At least his suit was in even worse shape than before. Small victories and all.