Killian

by E. A. Weston

  “I’m sorry I freaked out last night,” I whisper to him, holding him close to me. There is still a part of me with an unsteady feeling toward him, but overall, I know he is good. I know I am drawn to him, but I don’t fully understand him. After dinner, we watch a movie that I am not paying much attention to. I decide to take a shower, allowing the hot water to wash away the day. Crawling into bed, Killian is waiting for me. The moonlight shining through the window bathes his chest and face in a beautiful silvery light.

  He is sitting up slightly. Leaning against the headboard, he gives me a small smile and pulls me onto his chest. “Do you miss your home?” I ask, watching the moon hang low in the sky.

  “Very much so,” he whispers and I hear the ache in his voice.

  “Why don’t you go back?” I bite my lip, waiting for his answer. I feel his chest rise with the deep breath he takes.

  “Would you come with me?” he asks running his fingers up and down my arm. I am slightly caught off guard that he would ask me to go with him.

  “I don’t know … maybe your family won’t like me. I am human, after all. I am sure there are some rules against dating the likes of me,” I joke and run my fingers over his chest.

  “They would love you, but they are gone,” he tells me, wrapping his arm around me tighter.

  “What do you mean gone? Did they leave as well?”

  “No. They were murdered.”

  Lifting my head, I study his face. The pain he sometimes shows in his eyes is there now and my heart aches for him.

  “I’m so sorry, Killian. I don’t know what to say …” My own voice conveys sadness. He kisses my lips gently.

  “It was a long time ago,” he whispers. “Our home was attacked and I couldn’t save them. My mother begged me to come to the human world for my safety. I wanted to stay and fight, but she was the … well, she was my mother and she begged me to go while she died in my arms.”

  “Killian, no!” I am so shocked. I quickly grab him to me, hugging him for dear life.

  “I am so, so sorry.”

  “Yes, well, it was a long time ago,” he says again.

  “What about your father?” I ask. Shaking his head, he sighs.

  “I was too late to save any of them. My mother told me my father and sister were both gone. By the time I got to her, she was dying and begged me …” Shaking his head, he stops talking.

  “Killian …” Looking into his eyes, I can almost feel his pain. It mirrors my own and I feel so guilty for even thinking he had something to do with my parents going missing. Taking my face in his hands, he pulls my lips to his.

  “You are my moon,” he whispers against my lips.

  “And you are my stars,” I reply, pressing my lips against his.

  Gently, Killian rolls me onto my back as he deepens the kiss. His hands explore my legs and thighs. I hold him tight to me, wanting to feel every part of his body against mine. I can feel his erection pressing into my thigh as his hand slowly removes my panties. Killian adjusts himself on top of me, pushing into me with ease. Our bodies become one as we build and build. Arching my back, I pull him deeper, needing all of him. His lips find mine again as we match thrust for thrust. Finding release together.

  Killian lifts his head to look at me. Using my thumb, I wipe the sheen of sweat from his upper lip. Bending, his lips meet mine.

  “Reagan, you are so beautiful,” he whispers against my neck. “I love you, princess.”

  Without meaning to, I scream, deafening Killian as I do. He quickly climbs off me, looking around for whatever has frightened me.

  “What is it, princess?” he asks, his hand touching my forehead to make sure I am okay. My heart is pounding and my eyes wild as I push to get up and away from him.

  “Killian,” I whisper as tears spring to my eyes. He looks worried as he approaches me.

  “Princess, please, you are beginning to frighten me.” He walks slowly towards me with his hand outstretched as if he was approaching a wild animal. “What is wrong, Reagan?”

  “I …I … I heard you,” I whisper.

  “Heard me what, princess?” he asks, taking my hands again.

  “You. I heard you—I heard you,” I say again, over and over. Killian leads me back to the bed, making me sit down. He leaves to get me water, watching as I drink the whole glass in one gulp.

  “What is wrong with her? I have no idea how to help … I wish she would tell me.”

  I choke on the last of the water and nearly cough up a lung in the process.

  “Killian, please stop doing that it’s weird,” I say, placing my hand on his shoulder.

  “Reagan.” He sighs. “Please tell me what you are talking about. I have no idea.”

  Pulling him close to me, I wrap my shaking hands around his neck. “I can hear you, Killian.”

  I feel his body stiffen against me. “Can you hear me this way, princess?” he asks, his voice filling my mind. Nodding my head against his, he holds me tighter.

  “I knew you were mine, Reagan. I have no doubt,” he says. Moving back slightly, he stares at me.

  Chapter 21

  Over the last few days, I have tried everything I can to open that damn box. It even got bounced off the wall, but to no avail, it remains closed. Killian has been walking around the apartment with an enormous smile on his face, which has only added to my already frustrated mood.

  “Stop smiling all the time,” I complain, watching him float around the room. He just laughs at me, sending shivers up my spine with his deep throaty chuckle.

  “I am happy for you, princess. That is all,” he says, bending to plant a kiss on my lips.

  “I don’t know why. It’s only an art degree.” I pout, feeling a little pissed off that my parents are missing yet another milestone in my life. You’d think I’d get to used to it by now, but deep in the back of mind, I feel so angry at them. I guess that’s normal. Killian said he went through something similar when he came to this world. He was angry with everyone and everything for years. He said it will get easier—I hope so.

  Dragging myself from the sofa, I take my purse from Killian’s outstretched hand. I actually put on a dress today: my knee-length black satin dress with heels too. I had to raid my closet at home, but I suppose you only graduate once. Well, unless you’re one of those serial college-goers. Killian escorts me to my graduation ceremony. He sits in the back with all the parents and partners of the graduates. Alex and I sit two rows apart because of our last names. My mind wanders to that box again. I still don’t understand why my parents had it. I can feel a headache coming on just from sheer frustration.

  I have tuned out most of the speeches so far but snap back to attention as the names are being called. Making my way up to the line, I walk up the steps as my name gets called.

  “Yay, Reagan!” Turning, I see Alex waving like a maniac. I crack a smile for the first time today as I wave back to her. Taking my diploma, I exit the stage. Walking back to my seat, I find Killian in the crowd. His face is breathtaking as he beams at me. My own smile grows and I wave my diploma at him. When Alex’s name gets called, Ryder bellows out he loves her, making the crowd giggle at them. I can see in her eyes it means the world to her.

  On her way back to her seat, I meet her in the aisle for a huge hug.

  “So proud of you, girl.” I smile at her.

  “You too, Reagan.”

  After we all receive our diplomas, the crowd erupts into cheers. Some girls cry, guys man hug, but overall it’s a pretty fantastic day. An achievement, I have to say. I am proud of myself.

  “Congratulations, Princess.” Killian’s voice warms me from behind as his arm snakes around my waist.

  “Thank you,” I whisper, leaning my head against his shoulder. I watch the crowd dissipate, each person finding their loved ones and taking off to celebrate.

  “Are you ready to go?” Killian asks.

  “Go where?” Turning to face him, I rest my hand on his chest. His crisp white shirt s
trains against his solid muscles. I have to admit: if today were the first time I ever laid eyes on him, I would be head over heels.

  “I am taking you out to celebrate. Did you think I would forgo on such an occasion?” His melodic voice sends shivers up my spine.

  “Okay, then. Where to?” I ask, trying to keep myself functioning.

  “A surprise, princess.” He winks, taking my hand in his and leading me towards his car. Killian drives to a remote location, pulling into a parking lot of what looks like another campground. My eyes look around the area then down to my only pair of decent high heels.

  Killian opens my door, taking my hand and helping me out of the car.

  “I don’t think I’m dressed for this place,” I tell him as he walks back to the trunk. I take the opportunity to breathe in the fresh mountain air and allow the sunlight to warm my face.

  “I have come prepared,” Killian announces, walking back around to me with a pair of socks and my boots. He helps me put them on, then takes my hand in his while holding a picnic basket with the other.

  “You really did come prepared,” I say, pointing at the wicker basket in his hand.

  We walk through some trees and into a large green. Killian walks us towards a cluster of trees. I watch as he takes a blanket from the basket and spreads it onto the grass.

  “Ladies first,” he announces, waving his hand toward the blanket.

  “Thank you.” I smile, taking a seat.

  He settles himself beside me, bringing the basket closer. The air smells sweeter here and the trees seem to sway towards us on a gentle breeze. I watch Killian remove some food and champagne. He offers me a smile and the sunlight catches his eyes. For the first time, I see flecks of silver in them. Leaning closer, I stare at him. His lips meet mine, but I am too mesmerized by his eyes to kiss him back.

  “Are you okay, Princess?”

  “Yeah, just hold still,” I say, placing my hands on his face and looking into those deep onyx eyes with flecks of something silver—something magical—floating around in them.

  “Your eyes are amazing,” I whisper.

  “As are yours,” he replies, kissing me again. He takes the plate of food and places it between us. Picking up a strawberry, he holds it to my lips. Opening my mouth, I take it in. Killian places his lips on mine briefly, then he pops the cork on the champagne and pours us a glass.

  “Congratulations again, princess,” he says holding one out to me.

  Taking the glass, I clink it to his and swallow a mouthful. We eat and drink in silence. It’s not an awkward silence, but a companionable one, and I am feeling very comfortable with him.

  “Thank you for doing this. It means a lot to me,” I tell him.

  “You are welcome, princess. I would do anything for you.”

  Once we finish eating, Killian wraps and packs the leftovers. We both lay down, holding hands and watching the blue sky. I watch the birds swoop and dive into the trees beside us. My eyes flutter and close for a few minutes.

  “It’s really nice here, Killian.”

  “Yes. I used to come here a lot,” he replies.

  Turning my head, I watch as he stares up at the sky. My eye catches movement from beside Killian. Sitting up, I startle a rabbit and it jumps back into the undergrowth. Killian sits up, watching me.

  “You are so beautiful, Reagan,” he tells me, rubbing his knuckles along my cheekbone. I watch as the rabbit hops back out and over to us again.

  “I think someone is hungry,” I say, nodding to it. Killian turns and smiles, scooping the rabbit into his arms.

  “No, he is not hungry. Just curious.”

  I watch as he pets the rabbit and whispers something to it before letting it go. My mind does not comprehend what my eyes see.

  “Are you like Doctor Dolittle?” I ask, hoping to all things sane he does not tell me that the rabbit spoke to him.

  “No, princess.” He laughs. “We fairies can communicate with animals by way of emotions.”

  “Oh. Good to know,” I reply, still a little baffled.

  “This area here is where the last portal to Avalon existed,” he explains. “It was where I came into the human realm.”

  My jaw slackens as I look around.

  “Wow.” I scan the trees and grass, but I don’t see any portal looking thing, although I don’t know if would even know what to look for.

  “Wow, Killian. I don’t know what to say. Is there a way back to Avalon?”

  “I don’t know. I stopped coming here a long time ago. After I first crossed over, I would come back here every day for years, then it would be a few days a week, then a month. Eventually, I was so angry, I just left the area and traveled around the world until I finally came back last year.”

  “Why? Why did you come back?”

  “I don’t know, princess. I swore to myself that I never would, but something drew me here. I thought it was the portal. I hoped it would open soon and allow me to go home, but …” He trails off, raising his hands in defeat.

  “But it wasn’t.” I sigh, taking his hand in mine. “I wish you could go home, Killian.” He looks at me curiously for a few minutes before smiling.

  “Are you trying to get rid of me, princess?” he asks.

  “No, I just want you to be happy. I can see the pain in your eyes when you talk about Avalon and I wish I could take it away.”

  I mean what I say—I do want to take away that sad look in his eyes. That sad look that mirrors my own.

  “You are a true princess,” he says, taking my lips with his. We stay that way for a while, just kissing. Our bodies content to be next to each other, just knowing that we are close allows me to relax. Killian rests his forehead against mine, smiling.

  “I wish I could take you to Avalon, Princess,” he says as he begins to unbutton his shirt.

  “What are you doing, Killian?” I ask, getting a little nervous. I mean, we are out in the open and I don’t think it would be a good idea to start getting it on out here.

  “Relax, princess, no one will see us,” he says. Standing up and taking my hand in his, he whispers his fairy words, dropping his glamor. Standing before me in all his fairy glory, he pulls me to him. “Now we dance.” He smiles.

  “What are you talking about?”

  He doesn’t answer but winks at me as he starts to twirl me around at break neck speeds. I don’t feel dizzy; I feel exhilarated—like I could fly. Killian grabs my waist and throws me into the air. My mind and body feel free. Lifting my arms out to my sides, I fall back down to Killian’s waiting arms. We spin around some more to a silent tune. His smile never falters and his eyes never leave mine.

  “You are truly beautiful,” he whispers.

  Once we stop spinning, I feel so alive in a way that I have never felt before. Killian watches me for a few minutes. I can feel the heat on my cheeks and I am sure my hair is a mess, but I don’t care. His eyes captivate me and hold me hostage. Drowning in the magic of him, I can’t tear my gaze away.

  “You are everything to me, Reagan. I would give you the world if I could. I love you.”

  His words are like a slap in the face to me—a slap back to reality. A wall quickly builds back up around my heart as I take a step away from him.

  “Thanks,” I reply, not knowing what else to do. I mean, I like him—I do—but I can’t love him. He wants to go back to Avalon and leave me—and then what? I’ll be left alone again with another piece of my heart broken. Killian quickly returns his glamor and gets dressed.

  “I’m sorry, princess. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

  My heart is pounding and I want to cry—frustration and anger take over me. Killian watches my emotions chase one another across my face. I don’t know what to say to him. Words are stuck in my throat. It’s too soon for love; it’s just too soon.

  We walk back to the car in silence—this time, it is uncomfortable. My skin feels raw and my blood pounds in my ears. Killian’s mood is palpable. I can feel the anger and
fear rolling off him in waves. Once we reach his apartment, I hide in the bedroom with my box. The day was perfect until he uttered those three words—words I long to hear again. But hearing them only caused me pain. What am I doing here? Why am I getting involved with him when he has told me repeatedly that he wants to go back to his world.

  Grabbing my phone, I call Alex.

  “Hey, what’s up? Are you going to the party tonight?” she asks sounding all excited and hyper.

  “Oh, I don’t know, Alex.” I sigh.

  “Wait, what is going on? Why do you sound like your whole family died? Shit, I mean…”

  “I know what you mean, Alex. It’s okay. Killian said something today,” I start, even though I feel stupid.

  “Oh really? Was it something mean? Because you know guys are stupid, right?”

  “No, it was nothing mean. He said … He told me …” taking a deep breath, I try again. “He said he loves me.” I blurt it out and cross my fingers, hoping she has some sage advice, but no, she starts to laugh her ass off. I wait and wait until she finishes.

  “It’s not funny, Alex,” I scold.

  “Reagan, it’s so funny. That’s great, right?” she asks, sounding like herself again.

  “No … I don’t know … Jesus, why is this so hard?”

  “Do you love him back?”

  “I don’t know, Alex. I want to, but I just don’t know.” I sigh, resting my head against the wall.

  “Listen. Come to the party tonight and we’ll talk. Promise.”

  “Okay. I’ll be there,” I promise as I hang up. After another hour of hiding in the bedroom, I walk into the sitting room, finding Killian writing in what looks like a journal. He doesn’t notice me, or at least, he pretends not to as I make my way into the kitchen area for a drink. I watch his hand speed across the page and the muscle in his jaw working as he concentrates.

  “Are you coming to the graduation party tonight?” I ask, moving over towards him. His head lifts and his eyes have lost their magic.

  “If you would like me to, then yes.”

  He gives me a small forced smile and I just nod and leave. After refreshing my makeup and hair, we arrive at the campus function hall just after eight pm. Most of the students are here and the place is pretty packed. Killian hasn’t spoken to me since earlier today and I feel awful. I know it’s my own fault.