“You’re back.”
“Yeah.”
She continued to gaze at him.
“Can we talk? Just for a few minutes. I have a couple things I want to say to you.”
She hesitated, then stepped aside. “Okay. Come in.”
Her laptop sat on the coffee table with a spreadsheet open on the screen. A folder of papers was open on the couch, and a movie was playing on TV.
“Hey. You’re watching Netflix.”
“Yeah.” One corner of her mouth lifted. “Which you purchased and set up for me.”
He ducked his chin briefly. It was true. “And working at the same time. Multitasking.”
“Yeah. Have a seat.” She picked up the folder of papers to set aside, then the remote to stop the movie.
“Sorry to interfere with the movie.”
“No worries. It’s pretty handy how you can stop and start it.”
“Right?” He sat on her bright red couch and rested his elbows on his knees.
“How’s your dad?”
“He’s okay.” He relayed yet another update.
“Are you going to move back to Boston?”
He studied her face, her shuttered expression, her fingers twisted together, her quivering chin. Was Marco right? Did she really care?
“No.” He shook his head. “Talked to Cade and Marco about it tonight. My life is here.” Even though it felt like less of a life without Hayden in it.
“Oh.” The word was a soft burst from her lips.
“I’m still feeling guilty about it. But running Whitcomb Industries isn’t for me.”
“Are your parents disappointed?”
“I haven’t told them yet. They will be. But that’s nothing new.”
“They must miss you.”
“Nah. They don’t give a shit about me. Their only concern is the business.”
“Beck!” She stared at him openmouthed.
He shrugged. “It’s true.” He looked away. “I told you how things were with us.”
“Yeah. You did.”
Now he said the stuff he hadn’t wanted to say to Marco and Cade. But Hayden…he had to be honest with her. That was why he was here. “If they’d said anything—even one word—about missing me, or…” He coughed. “Or wanting me to come home and be in their lives…or loving me, maybe it’d be different. But all they talked about was the business and keeping it in the family. I’m the only one who can do that…but all they really care about is the business.”
“Oh.” She gazed at him with an anguished expression on her face. “They fucking suck, Beck.”
He barked out a surprised laugh. “Yeah. I never told you that whenever I dated a girl, they hired a private investigator to do a background check on her, and if she wasn’t good enough they’d talk to her and get rid of her.”
Hayden gave a soft gasp and covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes wide.
“Yeah, after that I figured it was better not to get involved with anyone. So I just screwed around a lot.” He met her eyes. “I thought I could do that with you and just have fun. But I was wrong.”
Her mouth snapped shut.
“When I offered you that money, I never intended to insult you. I sincerely just wanted to help.” He clasped his hands together and dropped his head briefly. He sucked air into his lungs, finding the courage to utter the words that needed to be said. “The truth is, I’ve…I’ve developed feelings for you, Hayden.” He swallowed and lifted his head to meet her eyes. “I love you.”
Her eyes widened and her lips parted.
“You were so disappointed when you didn’t get that grant, and I had it in my power to make that better. I didn’t think it would come across as an insult. So I’m sorry.”
She blinked shadowy eyes at him, still twisting her fingers together. “You never told me you were rich. I guess you figured I’d be after you for your money, or something.”
He shook his head. “No. I would never think that of you, Hayden. But having that much money does change relationships with people. So it’s not something I tell anyone, really. I didn’t tell Marco and Cade until we were trying to figure out what to do with our lives. I’m such an idiot, I did the exact same thing. Marco made a joke about opening a tequila bar and I said, ‘Yeah, let’s do it, I’ll pay for it.’ They were so damn pissed.” He closed his eyes briefly, although his lips lifted into a half smile. “They got over it. So anyway…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about that. And I’m sorry if I insulted you by offering the money.”
He rubbed his hands together and met her eyes to continue. “I want you to know that you’re an amazing, intelligent, beautiful woman. I admire your dedication to your research. I know how important it is to live for a purpose that’s bigger than yourself. You may think I’m just a bartender who likes to have fun playing around with extreme sports. But I do understand that sense of purpose. And I admire how you care for your family.” He rubbed his nose. “I never had that, after my brother died. So please believe that I never wanted to insult you. I really just wanted to help, and it was never intended to be some sort of compensation for sex.”
She rolled her lips in and regarded him with an expression he couldn’t read. Then she said, “Thank you for the apology.”
He nodded. Okay, then. He’d cleared his conscience and laid his cards on the table, but this was a game she wasn’t going to play with him. He rose to his feet, a knife twisting in his chest. “Thanks for listening.”
He walked to the door and had his hand on the knob when she called to him, “Beck.”
He turned, his heart leaping. “Yeah?”
“I have to thank you for something.”
“Yeah?”
“Today when I went to see my aunt and uncle, they told me they’ve decided to sell their house. And move to a seniors’ complex.”
“No shit?”
“Yeah. Uncle Colin said you talked to him…I don’t know what you said, but thank you. It will make life so much easier for them.”
“And for you.”
She stared at him again. “Um, yeah. So…thank you.”
“Welcome, gorgeous.” He summoned up a smile, and left her condo with heavy steps and a heavy heart.
—
Hayden let Beck leave, her head whirling, her heart fluttering wildly.
He loved her?
Oh God. She loved him too. So much.
A surge of something hot and powerful rushed through her, weakening her limbs. Sweet Jesus. She pressed a hand to her chest. She wasn’t supposed to feel this much. She wasn’t supposed to care this much. She should never have gotten involved with him.
She stumbled across her living room with jerky movements and sank back down onto the couch to stare blindly across the room. Her skin broke out in an icy sweat and her heart beat so fast she was afraid it would explode out of her chest. Her head spun.
She was in love with him.
She’d missed him so much the last few days. She’d been terrified to hear that he’d gone back to Boston and might stay there. Since she’d run into Marco that afternoon, she couldn’t stop thinking about that. She’d ended things with him, but she’d been so miserable since then she’d wondered if she’d done the right thing, wondered if she should go to Beck and ask him to forgive her—and then hearing he might be gone for good had filled her with misery.
She loved him and yet she’d pushed him away because of her fears of feeling too much. That was really what it was all about. She could hide behind her research all she wanted, but the truth was, she’d fallen in love and she was terrified.
It still bothered her that he’d never told her about his money, but really, she didn’t care about that. Apart from a racy car, he lived a simple life, she’d seen that—his modest condo, his dedication to making the business a success, which apparently he didn’t even need. Okay, yes, he had some expensive hobbies, but he certainly didn’t live like a billionaire. She respected that. Maybe his wealth was a part of who he was,
but it was a tiny part, compared to all the other parts of him she’d gotten to know—his honor and courage, his determination and loyalty. Despite his vow that life should be fun, he’d given a huge chunk of his life to serve his country. He deserved fun.
She’d seen the look of vulnerability on his face as he’d talked. As he’d apologized. As he’d talked about his parents and how they’d never said anything about loving him or wanting him back—not to run the company, but because he was their son. It hurt her heart to think of him being rejected like that. It made her want to hold him. Tell him that she loved him. Because he deserved to be loved.
And she’d seen that same vulnerability as he’d told her he loved her. He was the guy who didn’t do relationships, but yet he loved her. He’d wanted to help her.
She jumped to her feet with a burst of nervous energy and paced across the room.
She knew what fear was like too. She knew how hard it was to open yourself up to rejection. She’d experienced it as a kid, when she’d been made fun of. She remembered how afraid she’d been to open herself up to Carrie’s friendship. She remembered how boys had painfully ignored her. She remembered the burning crush she’d had on Phil Chang, her belief that they had so much in common he would want to go out with her, and his crushing rejection.
She remembered Beck telling her about his fears and how he’d conquered them. He was the bravest man she knew.
She wanted to be worthy of his love. She wanted to be as brave as he was. How could she show him that?
—
Hayden’s knees wobbled as she approached the building the next afternoon, her belly full of small winged birds, her heart pumping blood hotly through her veins. She was way early, but that was okay.
Inside she was greeted by a guy with shoulder-length blond hair, a deep tan, and an Australian accent. “G’day,” he greeted her. “How can I help you?”
“I’m here for the tandem skydive. To raise money for the Trident Foundation. Hayden Miles.”
He tapped away on a computer monitor, peering at the screen, and nodded. “Perfect. The training session will begin in about half an hour. I just need your credit card and for you to read through and sign this waiver.”
She handed her card to him.
“First time skydiving?”
“Yes.”
“Terrified?” He grinned as he passed over the credit card slip to sign.
He had no idea. “Yes.” Her fingers shook so badly her signature was nothing like it normally was.
“We take pride in all our safety procedures; you’ll be very safe. You’ll jump from about thirteen thousand feet. You’ll free-fall for a minute or so, and at about five thousand feet your tandem partner will deploy the parachute. Then you’ll have a nice five- or six-minute ride over some amazing scenery. Our drop zone is soft and grassy. And then when you’re done, you’ll get a certificate you can show off to friends and family.”
She nodded and swallowed through a tight dry throat.
“And it’s for a good cause. The Trident Foundation was started by Beck Whitcomb as a way to support Navy SEALs and their families. Your generosity will help with that.”
Her head reared up from the waiver document. “What? Beck started the Trident Foundation?”
“Yeah.” The guy nodded and smiled. “He does tons of stuff to support it.”
She sucked in a breath. Something else he hadn’t shared with her. Wow.
She flipped through the ten-page waiver document. Jesus Christ! The words all blurred together and bands started tightening around her chest. Whatever. Undoubtedly, it said she couldn’t sue them if she crashed and died. Well, if she died, she didn’t care about that.
She wasn’t going to die.
She totally could die. How crazy was this?
She scrawled another illegible signature onto the waiver form. A group of three young guys arrived, cracking jokes and laughing nervously. She wasn’t going to be the only one in that plane who was ready to pee her pants.
She wandered around, looking at the pictures on the walls as the other people signed up. As the door opened again, she turned around…and in walked Beck.
Chapter 24
Beck wanted to feel alive. He wanted that adrenaline rush that would remind him he was still living. He needed the intense distraction of focusing on inspecting equipment and following procedures to ensure safety.
He walked into Suncoast Skydiving, ready for the tandem jump they’d scheduled for today. A few other guys were participating too. He stepped inside from the bright sunshine and blinked. As his vision adjusted, he found himself staring at Hayden.
He blinked again and gave his head a shake.
What the fuck?
He prowled toward her. “Hayden? What the hell are you doing here?”
Her throat worked as she swallowed and she wrapped her arms around her waist. “I-I’m your tandem skydiving partner today.”
He stared at her. His mind emptied. He could not fucking figure out what was happening.
“Why?” he asked stupidly.
She swallowed again. “Because I want to be brave.”
Something cold and hard in his chest softened and warmed. “Baby,” he murmured.
“I want to be as brave as you.” She held his gaze with her big brown eyes, shiny and brimming with emotion. “You weren’t the only one who developed feelings, Beck. I…I love you.”
His heart was about to burst out of his chest.
“I want to be as brave as you. I want to jump out of that plane with you.”
“Jesus Christ.” He stepped closer and set his hands on her shoulders, his thumbs caressing her throat. “You love me?”
“I do.” She held his gaze steadily.
“Fuck.” He closed his eyes. “Fuck me.”
“Maybe later,” she whispered.
He groaned at the laughter that erupted and set his forehead against hers. “Seriously? You want to jump out of a plane?”
She bit her lip. “Yes.” She wrapped her hands around his wrists, her palms cold and clammy.
“You don’t have to do this,” he whispered. “I’ll love you even if you don’t.”
“I know. I want to prove this to myself. To know I’m worthy of you.”
“Christ, Hayden. I can tell you, you are. More than worthy.” He was the one who needed to show her he was worth loving. And he would. If he got this chance to have her back, he’d make sure she knew every day of her life how special she was.
“Are you trying to talk me out of this?”
“No, baby. But I know sometimes I’ve pushed too hard, making you do things outside your comfort zone. This is way outside.”
“It is. But I’ll be with you.”
He stared into her eyes, at the love and devotion and admiration he saw there. He’d never seen anyone look at him like that. Never. His heart expanded in a sharp burst, full of gratitude and love of his own. “I love you so much.”
“Love you too.”
“Okay. Let’s do this.”
She smiled.
Hayden went through the brief lesson, focusing on what she had to do with her usual studious attention. Then they harnessed up and crossed the field to load into the plane. He held her hand in his, hers still damp, trying to warm it up and reassure her. The other guys were clearly freaked out, but laughing about it, joking around, and shouting. At least it made Hayden smile.
The plane took off into the clear blue sky. The weather was perfect today, no clouds and little wind. After about ten minutes, they’d reached altitude, the buzz of the propellers loud in their ears, and it was nearly time to jump. “We’ll go first?” he asked Hayden.
Her long eyelashes fluttered and she shook her head rapidly, shrinking back.
He smiled. “Come on. What do you need to focus on?”
“The next move. Jumping.”
“Right. You know I’ve got you—right, baby?”
She nodded solemnly.
“Always.” Thei
r eyes met and held for an attenuated moment, communicating without words. “Come sit on my lap.”
It was what the others were doing too, but he was so goddamn happy he had Hayden there. He got them all strapped in, checking and double-checking everything, which he always did, but also because today he had the most precious person in the world harnessed to him.
They moved to the back of the plane and the opening.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this!” Hayden screamed as they paused.
“Ready?”
“No!”
He grinned. “Ready?”
“Yes!”
He jumped.
Hayden’s scream was torn away by the rush of air. “Oh my God, oh my God! Beeeeeeecccccck!”
They fell, so fast, but it wasn’t a feeling of falling, more like floating. Beck extended his arms out as if he were flying and nudged Hayden to release her death grip on the harness and do the same. Their arms extended out like wings, their legs bent behind him, they soared.
They soared. Together. Christ. He and Hayden were flying together, joined physically with a harness, but also joined in bonds of trust and love that were equally strong. Wind rushed around them and time stopped as they flew far above the earth in a moment of pure beauty that transcended anything he had ever experienced. He almost wanted to cry.
There was no feeling like this. Hopefully, she was loving it as much as he did.
He turned them in circles, the gorgeous earth stretched out forever thousands of feet below them, the mountains like a golden blanket creased and folded, dotted with dark patches of water. He grinned when Hayden turned her thumbs up.
Then it was time to deploy the parachute. It opened, pulling them upright, and everything went so much quieter. Peaceful.
“Look, Hayden!”
“I am! Wooooooohooooo!” Her exultant cry to the heavens made him laugh.
They drifted downwards for about six minutes, yelling to each other, pointing at the ground, and laughing crazily.
“Okay, get ready to land,” Beck called as they neared the ground. They skimmed low across the grass for a couple hundred feet and set down soft and gentle. He grabbed Hayden as the parachute floated to the ground behind them.
Body Shot (Last Shot) Page 24
