Through the Mist

by Ferrell, Cece

  “The project was fucked up from the start. I shouldn’t have been surprised when Maris transferred the project to the facility on his private island, I should have anticipated it, but it blindsided me. I was lonely and bitter. We were working crazy hours, sometimes working three days before going back to our quarters to sleep.”

  “But—”

  “No, Ros. Just let me get this out. It was just the four of us, and we got really close. I mean, how could you not get close when these are the only people you’re seeing or talking to all day, every day for months? We would all spend what little downtime we had together as well, as a group. Kelly and I got close. We’re really similar, almost like she’s me in a woman’s body. She sort of became my best friend. The more we worked together, the closer I got to the team and Kelly, the easier it became to handle the distance between you and me. Then it became easier to just not call. Fuck, I’m sorry, Ros, I really am. I did everything wrong here.”

  He looked up at me, eyes rimmed in red, stricken. I couldn’t miss the fear written all over him. He was pleading with me to listen, to understand, to forgive with this look. I waited him out in silence so absolute I could hear the rain falling outside. I knew more was coming.

  “One night we were hanging out, just the two of us. We would do that occasionally, usually just bitching about the project and watching movies. Well, the night was going as usual, but we fell asleep on the couch. I woke up to her lying on me. I went to stand up, to put distance between us, when she leaned in and kissed me. I… I let her do it. I kissed her back for a few seconds. And then for a few more. Soon I forgot why we shouldn’t be kissing at all.” He stopped there, avoiding my stunned gaze and refusing to say more.

  I inhaled sharply and tried to take a deep breath but my chest seized and tightened painfully. My lungs, my chest constricted and then I was suffocating, being crushed under the weight of all the words Dan hadn’t said. I was dying in the lines he was expecting me to read between.

  I’d heard people talk about how a broken heart could be physically painful, how you could feel it viscerally, each valve crushing or ripping apart, making you feel like death would come after the torture of feeling every soft, vulnerable part of you shatter into pieces. I’d never believed that. I’d always thought it was just an exaggeration, a way to analogize the emotional pain of losing something that meant everything to you.

  In the moments I was left to leap to the conclusion Dan hadn’t drawn for me, I knew that I’d been wrong all along. How foolish I had been to think a broken heart couldn’t be felt physically, especially considering what it had felt like when my mother had been ripped from my life.

  “What. The fuck. Happened, Dan?” The words were like sandpaper against my vocal cords as I forced them out of my throat with all the willpower I had in me.

  “Fuck, I’m so fucking sorry, Ros. I never planned it, I never wanted it to happen, and I regretted it the minute it did. God, please, believe me, Ros, please forgive me. I had us work triple time and arranged to bring in a couple of extra people from the company to help finish this project on an accelerated timeline. I knew I needed to get back to you as soon as possible. I knew what was going on with us wouldn’t be fixed with us apart all the time. Ros, could you please just tell me what you’re thinking?”

  The desperation in his voice affected me more than I’d expected it would, but I was still shocked by the implication of what he was admitting.

  “Dan, I don’t give a fuck about the project. I want to know exactly what happened. Did you fuck her?”

  He said nothing. He just continued to hold his head in his hands. I waited for what felt like forever but likely was only minutes. Dan finally allowed his gaze to reach mine and before he even nodded his head, the truth was written all over his face and in the anguished glint of his eyes.

  An agonized gasp rang out in the room. Dan slammed into the back of the chair he was sitting in and I realized the sound had come from me. I turned away from him then, walked over to the nearest wall and slid down it until my ass hit the ground.

  “I fucked up, I know it, and I’m fucking sorry, Ros. I switched her work schedule so we barely worked together after and only when others would be around. I didn’t want her to think this was something I was willing to entertain again. I know I fucked up by letting it happen, and I’m so. Fucking. Sorry. Tell me I can fix this. Please, Ros. Tell me what I can do. I don’t want to lose you.”

  His voice broke on the last word and tears fell down his face. I didn’t think I’d ever seen Dan shed even a hint of a tear in all the years we’d been together.

  I knew then that he was being honest about this only happening once. Dan was one of the most honest people I knew. He could have kept this all quiet, never told me, and I would never have known. I also knew that I couldn’t be around him right now. I was seconds away from losing the thin thread of composure I was holding onto, and I wasn’t willing to let him see that snap.

  “I believe you, Dan, but I can’t do this right now. I don’t even want to look at you. You need to leave. We can talk tomorrow, but I can’t do this tonight. No, I won’t fucking do this tonight.”

  The words came out slow and calm, so steady and even that it almost scared me. Dan stood up and made his way over to me, reaching out his hand to help me stand.

  “No. I can’t. I don’t want you anywhere near me right now, not when all I can picture is your hands on her body.”

  He stumbled backward the moment the words left my mouth, reacting like I had struck him. His face was still wet with the sheen of the tears he hadn’t wiped away and he nodded his head with resignation before turning and walking back out the front door.

  As the door slammed shut I wrapped my arms around my knees and dropped my head to rest on them. As the full reality of what just happened hit me, tremors wracked my body and a sob broke free. As the pain took over my body, another emotion crept in, spreading through my veins like poison.

  Guilt.

  As angry and shattered as I was by Dan’s confession, I knew I was worse than him. Not all of the blame rested on his shoulders. I’d kissed Archer. Worse yet, I’d fallen in love with Archer. As much as I wanted to rush out the door and lay bare all of my faults and wrongdoing to Dan, how would I make him understand that while Dan had given his body once to another woman, I had lost my heart to a ghost?

  Thirty-One

  I woke up a few hours later to Dan wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into him. His bare chest warmed my back first, then his bare legs came into contact with mine. The painful sobbing after his confession earlier had worn me out before I fell into a fitful slumber. I must have been way more exhausted than I thought, because I hadn’t even heard Dan come back into the house.

  He kissed the back of my neck, featherlight kisses. It felt so good, and it had been so long since I had felt his touch that I moaned despite myself before I pushed him away.

  “Dan, no! I said you could come back in the morning, not sneak into bed when my defenses were down. Get the fuck out, now!”

  I didn’t recognize the raspy, raw sound of my voice. I turned over onto my back with my eyes closed. The thought of even looking at him made me sick to my stomach, disgust and guilt warring with each other, creating a whirling pool of nausea.

  He leaned down and kissed the corner of my mouth. Before I could push him away, my sleepy daze fell away, and I realized the kiss didn’t feel the way it used to. The pressure and feel of his lips were different.

  I inhaled and my nostrils filled with Archer’s scent. My eyes flew open, only to find Archer looking down at me, his body touching the length of mine, sturdy and solid.

  “How?” I gasped out.

  “I don’t know, Ros. We’ve both witnessed my strength growing and my ability to take form for longer periods of time, but I have no logical explanation for why this is possible. I don’t know how this is happening, but I’m not going to second-guess it. Tell me no, tell me to stop and I will.” />
  I stroked his cheek, unable to believe this. There were so many thoughts, so many emotions raging in my body. My mouth only uttered one word.

  “Stay.”

  The smile that broke out across his face shattered me into a million pieces. He put those pieces back together when he leaned down and kissed me. The minute his lips touched mine, all thoughts about how this was possible, all potential protests flew out of my mind.

  I gasped, feeling breathless, and he took the opening, plunging his tongue into my mouth. Mine met his, and I deepened the kiss. I grabbed his hair at the nape of his neck, surprised by how soft and silky the strands felt in my fingers.

  He groaned at my touch as warmth and wetness dripped down my thighs. My heart thundered at the reality that somehow, I was getting the one thing I wanted more than anything else in the world.

  Archer peppered kisses down my neck, alternating between light, airy ones, gentle bites, and strokes of his tongue to soothe the pain from his teeth. The alternating sensations of pain and tender kisses drove me crazy, made me even wetter. He began making his descent down my body. Kisses fluttered along my collarbone before I reached down to lift my camisole over my head.

  A growl ripped out of Archer, and my eyes flung open at the sound. His gaze was feral, hunger and love written on the planes of his face. He grasped my hands, intertwining our fingers. I watched as he continued to kiss down my body, his tongue dipping out to taste the valley between my breasts. He placed a searing kiss on my left breast as he squeezed my hand and his whispered “I love you” tickled my skin, exactly in the spot I knew he could feel my heart racing.

  All because of him, all for him.

  He lowered his head to my breast, taking the hard tip of my nipple in his mouth. His tongue circled the peak before he bit down gently, tugging it with his teeth then sucking it back into his mouth. He switched to my other breast while playing with the first with his fingers, alternating between pinching it and running his thumb over the tip.

  I moaned, arching my back, craving his touch everywhere. His touch ignited a fire under my skin, the flame roaring through my veins and burning my skin. I already felt so close to the edge, so close to just plummeting over it simply from his touch and his kiss.

  I ran my hands over his shoulders, through his hair, gently raking my nails down his arms. I couldn’t get enough of touching him, of the feel of his skin under the tips of my fingers. I cataloged the dip and bulge of every muscle, each freckle painted across his skin, taking snapshots of his glorious body I could hold onto for the rest of my days.

  “So beautiful,” he whispered reverently as I ran my hands down his back, loving the feel of the hard muscles moving under my hands.

  He kissed his way down my stomach, circling his tongue around the indentation of my belly button, the light caress of his fingers over my stomach eliciting goose bumps all over my skin. I felt his lips curve up into a smile against my lower stomach before placing a kiss there.

  He settled down between my legs and looked up at me as he grasped my thighs and set them on his shoulders. His smile turned devilish as he lowered his head and placed a kiss on my swollen clit. His tongue darted out and licked my slick slit, from my core to the swollen bundle of nerves that wanted all of his attention, in one long, firm lick. Archer moaned against me, the vibrations causing my back to arch off the bed as my hips bucked.

  His mouth felt like one erotic, unending, blissful kiss against my center. He didn’t stop until my thighs were shaking, until I was gasping and on the precipice, his name a prayer and a plea on my lips. Archer sent me plunging over the edge and continued to lick me as I came back down from my climax.

  “You taste so much better than I imagined, Ros,” he whispered against me.

  He rose up on his knees, and I took in his body for the first time, appreciating the beauty of it, trying to ingrain the image on my consciousness. Archer crawled back up my body, spreading my legs further with his knees. He lowered himself to my body, and his cock surged forward toward my entrance.

  He placed his arms on either side of my face and kissed me hard, passionately. He looked into my eyes as he hitched my thigh up around his waist with one hand and caressed my face with the other. His eyes roved all over my face, taking me in, memorizing how I looked in this moment we both knew we wouldn’t get again.

  “I love you so damn much, Rosalind.”

  He intertwined our fingers together as he thrust himself into me, hard and deep. I moaned as he filled me. He paused for a moment, giving me time to adjust to his size. Soon he began moving inside of me in a slow, hard rhythm. He looked into my eyes the entire time. I couldn’t look away, I was mesmerized. My hips moved in sync with his, grinding against him.

  My heart could hear the words his spoke with each thrust. I love you, you will always be mine, it will only ever be you.

  Mine responded with each grind against him. I won’t forget you, you’ll always have my heart, I love you.

  Archer picked up the pace and pushed into me harder and faster. He changed his position slightly, rotating his hips differently, and he hit a sweet spot inside of me that elicited a loud moan at the same time the base of his cock ground against my clit. Archer kissed me fiercely and I tightened around him. He groaned, his control starting to slip. Seeing his loss of control pushed me over the edge, and I came hard, spasming around him.

  He rolled us over, changing our position. He sat up, pulling me into his lap, so I was straddling him. He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me close to him, so close my chest grazed his. He smiled the sweetest, sexiest smile at me and I could feel my lips spread in an answering smile. He leaned in to kiss me, our lips barely touching.

  “God, I love you, Archer. I love you so much,” I whispered against his lips. His answering moan vibrated against mine. I raised up my body, dropping myself back onto his length, letting him fill me as I rearranged my legs so they wrapped around his waist. We sat like this, with me in his lap, chests pressed together. He gripped my waist and started to thrust underneath me.

  Archer looked into my eyes again as I moved with him. His hands controlled my movements, and we continued our slow, steady pace. Our eyes never wavered as we continued to kiss. I caressed him everywhere my fingers could reach. I thought we knew in the moment this was our one chance, our one time to be together. We didn’t take it for granted, we savored every single moment.

  Archer’s movements quickened, his thrusts hitting deeper. I adjusted my movements to match his, feeling his body tense, getting closer. He ran one of his hands up my body, grasping my breast and pinching my nipple before continuing on its path up. He caressed my neck, then reached up to push a strand of my hair behind my ear before cradling my face in his hand, pulling me closer to kiss me deeper, harder.

  It was maybe the sexiest thing I’d ever experienced. Another orgasm built inside of me, and I moved faster, kissed Archer more fiercely, chasing the release only his body could promise me and never wanting it to end.

  “I’m right there, Ros,” he said in a tortured voice. “Come with me, Ros. If you can, please.”

  The urgent demand pushed me over the edge, and I came, looking into his eyes, watching his face twist in pleasure as he climaxed inside of me, filling me with his hot release.

  He collapsed on top of me and turned us to our sides, so we were facing each other. “Hey,” he said, caressing my face, rubbing his thumb along my kiss-swollen bottom lip.

  “Hey,” I said back in a husky, sated voice.

  “I love you, Ros. Don’t ever forget that,” Archer’s deep, melodic voice whispered in my ear.

  I nodded my head. I couldn’t find the words to express all I was feeling at the moment. Elation, satisfaction, peace, confusion, and fear. I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around how this was possible.

  I knew that any minute guilt would fill my veins. With all the thoughts racing through my mind, all the emotions I couldn’t articulate, I wouldn’t allow myself to r
egret these moments I’d shared with Archer.

  I hadn’t done this for revenge, some need to get back at Dan for what he had done. I’d allowed this because I loved Archer more than I had ever loved anything or anyone, and I wanted the memories of this one night I got with him for the rest of my life.

  As he placed a kiss on my head, light as air, his breath a warm caress on my skin, there was one thing I knew without doubt. So I spoke the words out loud again before he had a chance to disappear, because I knew it would be impossible for him to maintain enough energy to stay any longer after what we had done.

  “I love you too, Archer. Always.”

  Thirty-Two

  Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.

  I opened my eyes and then winced as the bright, mid-morning sun hit my face. I massaged my temples, wondering what could have happened between when I finally fell asleep last night after Archer left and now to cause a headache with this kind of banging, pounding pain in my head. Then I heard a frustrated, muffled male voice and I knew that the banging wasn’t coming from my headache after all.

  I rolled out of bed, grabbed my robe from the bench in front of it and shuffled to the front door as I wrapped it around my body. I swung open the door just as Dan was about to start another round of knocking.

  “Finally. What happened? I even tried calling you and it went straight to voicemail,” he said, his voice raspy with lack of sleep, his hands curled into fists so tight his knuckles were white.

  “I forgot to charge it. It’s probably dead. Why didn’t you just use your key?” I stepped aside so he could make his way into the house. He walked in with tentative steps, his discomfort radiating from every inch of him.

  “After what happened last night and how you told me to leave, I figured it was better if I didn’t just walk in. I wasn’t sure if you would want to even see me today.”

  I rubbed at my forehead, avoided eye contact and tried to figure out what I wanted, figure out if I was even ready to talk all this out with him. As much as I would have loved to pretend that nothing had happened last night, between Dan’s confession and my own indiscretion, I knew that I couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to either of us and it would be better to decide where we went from here sooner rather than later.