Pathfinder

by Gun Brooke

  “It’s tender, that’s all.” Caya pouted.

  “Tender? What do you mean—?” Briar’s ire went up. “Is that subcutaneous ink? Are you crazy?”

  “It’s just a small sub-ink. Nothing that will show when I wear regular clothes.” Defensive now, Caya stuck her face closer to Briar. “And I’m old enough to have it done without parental permission.”

  “I realize that. That’s not the point. You have to realize having a religious symbol on your body, created in sub-ink, is a big decision. And not to be done on a whim!”

  “It wasn’t on a whim! Who do you take me for? Creator, sometimes it’s like you don’t know me at all. I’m going to get dressed. Didn’t you need the bathroom?” Caya stomped off to her side of their quarters and closed the door behind her.

  “Oh, wonderful.” Briar used the bathroom and cleaned her hands. The door chime echoed and she ordered the computer to open the door, revealing Adina as expected. “Come in. I should warn you. Caya’s on the warpath, as I’m clearly the worst sister in the history of Oconodos.”

  “Oh, my. Really?” Adina stood inside the door, looking so stunning, Briar wanted to throw herself in her arms. “What did you do this time, oh horrible person?”

  Laughing against her will, Briar motioned for Adina to take a seat at the table. “I can’t tell you without asking her.”

  “Ask me what?” Caya stood in her doorway. She looked calmer and a little on the sheepish side. “Oh. Right. Briar had a fit because I got a sub-ink.”

  “Oh.” Adina looked as if she totally understood Briar, which was comforting. “Sub-inks can be bad for your health if you don’t see a licensed artist, but I’m sure you already know that?”

  “Yeah. That’s why I had Mathro do the ink at his quarters. He has access to a set and says it’s blessed and cleansed from all impurities.”

  “Blessed and cleansed?” Briar put a hand on her forehead, trying to keep up. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I know exactly what she’s talking about,” Adina said, her voice serious. “Caya, you haven’t mentioned that you socialize with my cousin’s son, Mathro.”

  “Um, I wasn’t aware he was related to you until a few days ago. His name’s not Vantressa, and he’s never once checked your name on the List. How was I supposed to know?” Caya shrugged, but her eyes darted nervously between Briar and Adina.

  “I see. Did Mathro explain to you why he has access to the blessed ink?” Adina kept her eyes focused on Caya, and now it was clear to Briar that her friend wasn’t only serious, but sounded close to fearful.

  “No. Well, yes, but I didn’t think it was all that important. He told me his father is some sort of pastor, or minister. I’m not sure. I really wanted a sub-ink like him and his friends.”

  “Are you in love with Mathro?” Adina asked, and now she actually gripped Caya by the elbows. “I’m not prying and it’s important you tell me the truth. Are you?”

  “No. No! I’m not in love with anyone. He’s a friend. I’m friends with his entire group. They’re the first real ones I’ve made here, and they like me. I just wanted to belong.” Caya’s lower lips trembled now, and large tears formed at the corners of her eyes. “Why’s that so wrong all of a sudden?”

  Tugging Caya toward her, Adina suddenly hugged her. Briar stared and understood something of great importance was happening. Normally she would interfere and be the big sister, but this time she agreed that Adina was the right person to handle things.

  “Listen, child. Mathro and his family are the keepers of the blessed ink. It’s used to create the symbol of the church and the faith my family swears by. They consider it a sacred thing, and if it is exchanged between lovers, it’s a binding vow, like marriage. If you’d been in love with Mathro and he’d reciprocated those feelings, our church acknowledges this as a first step to an unbreakable bond.”

  “Shit.” Caya hugged Adina. “I’m not in love with Mathro. He’s nice, but a friend. I promise. I think he’s in love with another one in the gang. He was being nice to me when I admired their ink. He never said a word about it being sacred or anything. I assumed the blessed part meant against evil spirits like the shamans did in the old times.”

  “Oh, Caya.” Adina smiled wistfully, pushing her back and meeting her gaze. “I’m relieved you’re Mathro’s friend, as both of you are so very young and have a lot to learn and experience. I’m not saying you can’t find love at your age—that happens all the time—but Mathro is a Vantressa, and nobody should commit to a Vantressa without knowing what they’re getting themselves into.”

  And with those words, she looked right at Briar, who struggled to find the last of the oxygen in her quarters. “What about the ink?” Briar took a deep, hungry breath.

  “It needs to go.” Adina looked at Caya. “I’m sorry, but it’s the right thing to do. If you really want a cool ink, I’ll draw one myself for you. I’m quite good at it.”

  “A real one. A sub-ink?” Caya gaped. “Oh, Briar, say you think it’s okay.”

  “Now you ask me?” Briar sighed. “All right. I approve if Adina draws it and places it on you—and if it’s small.”

  “Thank you, thank you!” Caya hugged Adina hard and then Briar. “I have homework that I’ve put off today. Can I eat in my room? I’m really hungry.”

  “Not too happy about your postponing homework, but sure, eat and read at the same time. I expect great results.”

  Caya waved her hand as if saying “who do you take me for?” and filled a plate. Only when her door closed did Adina move.

  “Oh, my.” Adina seemed quite taken.

  “Oh, my, indeed. She moves fast. I’m glad she’s coming around and being honest though. I have to remind myself all the time that she’s acting out a bit since she was homeschooled for the last several years.”

  Briar could tell Adina wanted to ask why, but her innate politeness stopped her from prying.

  “I’d rather she didn’t have to go to a clinic to have the ink removed, as it is such a special symbol,” Briar murmured to Adina before they sat down at the table after filling their plates. “Can you help me?”

  “I’ll bring the equipment over tomorrow morning before she goes to school. I also plan to have a little chat with my cousin’s son. He’ll listen to me, as he won’t want his mother finding out he desecrated the ink.”

  “Kids.” Briar sighed. “Whether they’re twenty-six weeks or nineteen years old, they’re trouble.” She was only half joking.

  Adina’s expression softened. “Caya’s an amazing young woman. When I saw Weo today, I was torn between all my affection and the sadness that my mother will have such an impact on him eventually. I hope Zoma and Agand can resist her, at least a little bit.”

  “Perhaps with your help?”

  “I’m afraid I’d be more of a liability than anything else.” Adina sipped her water. “I withdrew from the family and joined the military, and that sealed my fate, you could say.”

  “But when you were injured, they showed up at the hospital.” Resting her chin in her hand, Briar enjoyed the view of Adina sitting across from her. The beautiful, strong face that could express such a multitude of emotions now showed sorrow, or perhaps even mourning.

  “They showed up because Shabina decided to use this opportunity to her advantage. She probably suspected it might create issues in the family unit if she forbade them to visit me—so she turned it into an event. That, and it would look strange to my peers and superiors if they didn’t. That whole song and dance wasn’t for my benefit, but for hers.” Her big, amber eyes looked cautiously at Briar, as if she expected Briar to side with the Vantressas and accuse Adina of being disloyal. Briar wondered how many times this had happened during Adina’s adolescence. Or still happened.

  “I can imagine this. I don’t pretend to know her at all, but the viciousness she showed me, a perfect stranger, was obvious. I mean, I’ve met family members in full panic and rage, but this was different. As you said�
�it was all about her, not even really about Weo.”

  Adina fell against the bulkhead behind her. “Thank you.”

  Adina’s short words held an entire world of meaning to Briar. “You’re welcome. You’ve done a lot for us tonight.”

  “Not really. Not when you remember it’s my family member who enticed your sister to get the sub-ink.”

  “Again, you’re not responsible for their choices or how they live their lives. I would appreciate it if you talk to the young man though.”

  “I will.” Serious now, Adina ate the last of her food. “This was delicious.” She helped Briar carry dirty plates back to the recycler. As she handed over her plate for Briar to put into the slot, she raised her eyebrows. “Why do you do it that way?” she asked. “Pulling your fingers back as if you’re afraid the machine will bite?”

  “I’m not comfortable with all the household technology. I grew up a traditionalist, remember? We washed our dishes by hand. I know I’m silly, but sometimes I’m afraid this darn thing will demolecularize my fingertips.” Briar pushed her hands in her pockets and rocked back and forth on her feet.

  “I see.” It was clear Adina was hard-pressed not to laugh out loud. “I can promise you that they’re engineered to ignore human flesh.”

  “So, not a good way to hide a body then.” Briar bit her lip and waited.

  Adina guffawed and then laughed. It was a great sound that Briar wouldn’t mind listening to again and again. “I like how you think.” Adina smiled. “Thank you for dinner.”

  “Don’t thank me. Invite me to your place instead and pay me back that way.” Briar had no idea those words were going to form in her mouth until they were out there.

  “All right.” Adina’s smile was still intact. “How about tomorrow? Bring Caya and we’ll get rid of the sub-ink and I’ll keep my promise to her.”

  Briar grinned so broadly, her cheeks hurt. She couldn’t help it. It was as if she and Adina had taken a huge step forward in this…this relationship? No, well, friendship at least. After more than eighty days aboard Pathfinder, Briar had made friends at work and also befriended some of their neighbors, but it was Adina who sent her heart racing. It was also Adina’s face she thought of as she went to bed. Briar had no indication whatsoever in what light Adina saw her. She vowed to not scare Adina away, something she was sure was quite easy to do. For being a no-nonsense, hard-nosed commander in the Oconodian fleet, this woman was also fragile and shy in the face of personal socializing.

  “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something,” Adina said slowly.

  “Oh?” Briar swallowed the last of her water and didn’t know what to expect.

  “It’s this whole Red Angel business. Any chance you can tell me how that began?”

  Oh, no. “I’m not sure, and I’m not even sure they really mean me when they use that moniker. Honestly.” It was almost true.

  “Hmm. The thing is, some of the people I work with have heard through their families and friends of this nurse who possesses amazing empathic skills. They’ve described her and mentioned her name. Lindemay isn’t a very common surname.” Adina’s voice was kind, but her gaze firm as she regarded Briar across the table. “Do you believe you can be this Red Angel? I mean, you do have reddish hair. If that’s what they refer to.”

  “For all heavenly…” Briar closed her eyes briefly. “I don’t know how that started, if they indeed mean me. I’m just doing my job. That’s all! I work, then go home and lead a very quiet family life with Caya—unless I’m with you and a terrorist sets off some white garnet.” She frowned, frustrated now. “I can’t help what people come up with.”

  “I know. Calm down.” Adina took Briar’s hand in hers. Normally this spontaneous touch would’ve turned Briar’s world into a blissful haze, but now she felt captured.

  “I’m calm. Is anyone accusing me of anything?” Tears burned the inside of her lids.

  “No. Not at all. I wanted you to know this Red Angel is getting her own fame and groups of admirers. If they’re talking about you, you yourself explained to me how quickly this subgroup latches on to the latest thing. Red Angel is a new entity in the realm of celebrities. Just a heads-up.” She moved her thumb in a small caress on the back of Briar’s hand. “And as far as I can tell, Red Angel is a really good person who cares about people.”

  Exhaling in one long gush, Briar realized she was being a paranoid fool. This was exactly how she shouldn’t react if she wanted to keep the focus off her and Caya. She looked down at their joined hands and allowed the happiness over Adina’s small caress to surface. “Thank you. Why don’t we start by keeping an eye on those rumors, and you can tell me if you think I need to, well, do something?” Briar gripped Adina’s hand between both of hers. “Sound all right?”

  “Yes. Don’t worry. I’ll keep my ear to the deck.” She smiled shyly. “And thank you again, Briar. You did more for my brother today, and little Weo, than you realize.”

  “Ah. That.” Briar wondered in the back of her mind how the hell Adina could have such silky smooth hands, working with machines and other pieces of technology all day. “For you and yours—anytime.”

  Adina’s eyes softened and she squeezed Briar’s hand back. “Likewise.” She let go of it, and its absence immediately brought a sense of loss to Briar.

  She gasped but tried to mask her reaction as a cough, gently clearing her throat. What the hell was that about? As soon as she lost the connection, it was as if someone yanked an oxygen hose from a survival suit.

  “I should be going.” Adina pushed her hands into the pockets of her trousers. “Again, thank you for dinner. See you tomorrow morning. It’ll be early. I figure we’ll do the removal then and I can have a few sketches with me for Caya to choose from—and for you to approve.” She gave her now-so-familiar shy smile as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet.

  “Great.” Briar still tried deal with how the severed connection had felt but managed to reciprocate the smile. “Sleep well. I mean later. When you go to bed.” Oh, Creator, she sounded like a complete idiot.

  “You too.” Adina briefly touched Briar’s upper arm. “Bye.”

  The door closed behind Adina with a hiss, and now Briar didn’t have to hide her rampaging emotions. If the loss when Adina let go of her hand had shocked her, the brief touch had sealed the fact that something outside the norm was going on. Instead of being a mere gesture of “be well,” the touch had stirred up a long series of images in Briar’s mind. Like she was looking a screen movie, she had seen images of a young, lanky girl with Adina’s eyes. In several the girl had been crying, or in pain, and without any proof whatsoever, Briar’s intuition said the flickering images were from Adina’s youth.

  Stumbling, she hurried into her sleeping area, closing the door behind her. The images were still present for her to peruse when she thought of them, but they were slowly fading. Where had they come from? From Adina, obviously, but had the other woman deliberately projected them, or—and this was the most frightening deduction of all—had Briar pulled them from Adina via the physical connection?

  “Damn.” She wrapped her blankets around her and curled up in the far corner of her bed. What if this happened again—and with other people?

  Sobbing without tears, Briar barely dared to go near the ultimate question—but she had to. Could it be Caya wasn’t the only changer in the family?

  Chapter Eleven

  **Adina Vantressa**

  **Commander and Chief Engineer**

  **Day 126**

  **Exodus Operation**

  **Personal log**

  For a long time, my life seemed to consist of work and nothing else. Why I find this fact special enough to start my personal log of the day with speaks volumes. Not to mention keeping a personal log at all. For many years, I’ve made work my main goal, my sole purpose, and now…I’m not sure, but work is becoming too much. Even a burden at times.

  I’ve never had any longing for social activi
ties. The few interests I have outside of the work of an engineer, I’ve mainly indulged in alone. Listening to music, for instance. I preferred my solitude when listening to my favorite recordings or attending concerts. Now, as I put on some music after a shift, it seems to emphasize my loneliness rather than fill it.

  When I get home to my quarters, as much as they are a sanctuary, they’re proof of where my chosen isolation has brought me. After spending a lot of time at Briar’s quarters, sometimes with Korrian and Meija as well, I recognize how different my life is becoming. She and Caya share a bond so very different from mine with my own family members. Briar is clearly very protective of her younger sister, but never have I heard her resort to emotional blackmail or indirect threats as a way to get her point across. Instead they reason with each other, and many times, Caya comes to the conclusion I know Briar is trying to convey all by herself.

  I’m not proud to admit it, but I’m envious of their connection, as I’ve never experienced it, unless you count my interactions with my comrades in arms. With my subordinates and my peers, I enjoy respect and, in some cases, also friendship and loyalty. Why this was never been the case with my family, and later, with potential lovers, saddens me.

  I suppose this might be why Briar has a shield up when it comes to me. Her gift for caring and this amazing aptitude for empathy…even a recluse such as I feels what I’ve come to think of as her personal force field. Caya is more immediate and seems to regard me as something between an older friend and a sister. She asks me questions, so many at times, Briar steps in to stop her. I don’t mind the questions, but a lot of them are about the Vantressa clan. I try to be honest without giving away too much, as miraculously Caya has been accepted as what Shabina deems a “foreign friend” to Mathro and the other young among the Vantressas. I thought of preventing Caya from getting tangled up with my family, but I know that Caya was homeschooled by traditionalist parents and thus missed out on what goes for a normal social life. She seems truly happy among my relatives, and I could never begrudge her that. If the usual warning signs appear I’ll find a way to get her away from them. My standing weekly dinner invitation makes it easier to monitor the situation.