Space Crime Conspiracy

by Gareth P. Jones

  ‘Listen, I’m just telling you what I’ve seen, and I saw Stanley with this Brotherhood lot. They tried to throw me into space. That don’t sound so law-abiding.’

  ‘And exactly how did you come to be on their ship?’

  ‘I guess I was lucky. My ship was about to blow up.’

  ‘Lucky. That is one way of describing it. Or did you do a deal with the AIP force to locate Stanley for them in exchange for a pardon for your numerous crimes? You found Stanley because you knew what you would do if you had jumped bail. You would head for a planet outside of Armorian jurisdiction. Isn’t that right, Mr Retch?’ Eddie said this extremely quickly, managing to get the last word out before Commander Kevolo’s inevitable interruption.

  ‘I hope you are not suggesting that cooperation with the police is anything other than a laudable and admirable thing, Mr Skulk.’

  ‘I am suggesting that the testimony of a self-confessed criminal who has no intention of ever giving up his life of crime and is cooperating out of self- interest isn’t worth much.’

  ‘Nonsense. The laws of Armoria are based on fairness and that includes reformed criminals. The jury will disregard the last comment.’

  Eddie was now visibly fuming. ‘No further questions,’ he snapped, and sat back down.

  Commander Kevolo touched his ear and said, ‘I have just been informed that we need to take a short break. Just long enough to pour yourself a nice bowl of Solar Fruit Twisties. This court is adjourned.’

  .

  44

  ‘So if, as the polls suggest, you end up becoming the next president, the assassination of President Vorlugenar will have benefited the entire universe as well as your own career?’

  During the break Stanley expected the jury to leave the courtroom, like he had seen happen on TV at home. Instead a blue dome rose up from the ground encompassing and isolating them from the rest of the room.

  While the journobots made reports back to their studios, Stanley whispered to Eddie, ‘We need Dram as a witness. He knows I didn’t jump bail on purpose.’

  ‘Dram is a former AIP officer who left to earn more money and now works for me, or at least did until yesterday. Kevolo would eat him alive in the witness box. Besides, the Armorians don’t exactly have a high opinion of moon dwellers.’

  ‘What about General P’Tang and Jupp? They know what really happened.’

  Eddie snorted. ‘Kevolo is on the verge of declaring the Brotherhood illegal. Even if they were crazy enough to give themselves up, given their role in your escape from bail Kevolo would go to town on them too.’

  ‘But we have to do something. We can’t let Kevolo get away with this. He’ll arrest Jupp and General P’Tang too.’

  ‘I’d worry about yourself if I were you. This is our last chance. If you change your plea now to guilty I can still get you a more lenient sentence.’

  ‘No way. It wasn’t me. It was Kevolo. He set up the whole thing so he could get President Vorlugenar out of the way and take the job himself. And it’s your job to prove it.’

  ‘You’ve seen what’s happening. I destroyed both of his last two witnesses and he overruled me on every point. Sometimes when you’re losing a battle, you have to know when it’s time to change tactics, Stanley.’

  ‘It was Kevolo, and we can’t let him get away with it.’

  Eddie dropped his head into his hands.

  ‘This court is now back in session,’ proclaimed Commander Kevolo. ‘To those of you watching at home, welcome back. The prosecution now calls its third and final witness . . .’

  ‘Who’s this going to be?’ Eddie muttered miserably.

  ‘The prosecution calls Commander Jax Kevolo, Commander of the Armorian Intergalactic Police Force, to the witness stand,’ announced Commander Kevolo.

  Eddie was on his feet like a shot. ‘Objection. Prosecution can’t call himself as a witness.’

  ‘Overruled,’ countered Commander Kevolo. ‘In cases in which planetary security is at stake the selection of witnesses becomes a matter for the judge’s discretion. And, as judge, I deem this completely appropriate.’

  Eddie sat back down. ‘Prosecution, judge and witness. He’ll put himself on the jury next,’ he said, slightly too loudly.

  ‘What was that, Mr Skulk?’ asked Commander Kevolo.

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘Good. Then let’s get on with this.’

  Commander Kevolo made his way across the arena to the witness box.

  ‘That’s stupid. How can he question himself?’ grumbled Stanley.

  ‘Good people of the jury, I have prepared a short statement which I would like to read to you.’ He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and read from it. ‘As commander of the AIP force it fell to me to track down and arrest the person responsible for the murder of President Vorlugenar. This was no easy task but, with dedication and determination, I was able to send Officer Grogun, who you have already heard from today, to arrest Stanley Bound on the obscure pre-contact planet where he was hiding. Now it is my duty to ensure the conviction of this violent and dangerous criminal and thus secure a safer universe for everyone.’

  ‘He’s using this as a political platform,’ whispered Eddie. ‘Look at him, he’s looking straight into the cameras. He may as well add Vote for me at the end.’

  ‘After the success of the mission to arrest the accused, it fell to me personally to conduct the interview with him. I would like to show the court an extract of that interview now. Court clerk, run the film, please.’

  A life-sized hologram of Stanley, Commander Kevolo and Eddie sitting around the interrogation table appeared in the middle of the court.

  ‘Recognise this?’ said the holographic image of Commander Kevolo. He pulled out the Damblaster and explained how it worked. Stanley saw himself protest his innocence, stupidly wishing that his hologram would listen to Eddie’s advice, then watching helplessly as he took the gun.

  ‘Processing individualised memory handle . . . No adjustment required,’ said the voice of the gun.

  The image vanished. Commander Kevolo stood up, walked down slowly to the main arena and turned to the jury. ‘So you see, good representatives of Armoria and fellow planetary peoples, what I have shown you is that all evidence clearly points to Stanley Bound’s guilt. I have shown that, having been caught, he attempted to escape the clutches of the law and make off with his consorts, known as the Brotherhood. And from his arresting officer you have heard that Bound even admitted his guilt. The prosecution rests.’

  The jury looked suitably impressed by this. Commander Kevolo began to make his way back to his high judge’s seat when Stanley stood up and spoke. ‘The defence would like to cross-examine the witness.’

  ‘What are you doing?’ asked Eddie.

  Commander Kevolo stopped in his tracks and turned round. ‘Do you wish to cross-examine me, Mr Skulk?’ he said.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Stanley. He turned to Eddie. ‘You have to make them see he’s the one who benefited from the president’s death. You’re my lawyer, and you have to follow my instructions. You told me so yourself.’

  ‘I am waiting for an answer, Mr Skulk,’ said Commander Kevolo.

  ‘You’re going to ruin me, Stanley,’ Eddie hissed, but he stood up and said, ‘Yes, the defence will cross-examine this witness. Please could you resume your position in the witness box?’

  Commander Kevolo nodded solemnly and made his way back to the witness box. Eddie got up slowly. ‘Commander Kevolo,’ he said.

  ‘Eddington Skulk.’

  ‘I heard the news that you are running for president.’

  Kevolo found a camera to address. He had his fair share to choose from. ‘So many of my esteemed colleagues were in favour of it that in the end it seemed churlish to refuse them.’

  ‘And the news this morning said that you are doing rather well in the polls too,’ added Eddie quickly.

  Commander Kevolo smiled modestly. ‘It’s gratifying to think t
hat so many Armorians share my vision for the future of our great planet and its role in the universe. I believe that the people are ready for a decisive, strong president.’

  ‘Unlike the last one.’ Eddie leaned forward as he said this and spoke casually, as though he was chatting to a friend in a bar, but Commander Kevolo’s expression changed to one of deep regret. ‘President Vorlugenar was a good man and a great president. We may have had our differences of opinion, but he was a friend of mine, which is why I feel so passionately about bringing his killer to justice.’

  ‘Of course. What I meant to say was that your presidency would be tougher on certain aspects.’

  Commander Kevolo appeared to be wrestling between the relevance of Eddie’s questions and the opportunity to address a massive audience on his presidential plans. It was clear which had won when he adopted his usual grandiose oratory style and said, ‘Although I have always respected President Vorlugenar, I do believe that towards the end of his presidency he was beginning to show signs of weakness. He had been cushioned from certain realities of the universe. I, however, as commander of the largest police force in the universe, am fully aware of the dangers that must be addressed and the importance of maintaining Armorian dominance.’

  ‘And in your opinion a change of direction would benefit Armoria and the universe as a whole?’

  ‘That is what I’ve said, yes.’

  ‘So if, as the polls suggest, you end up becoming the next president, the assassination of President Vorlugenar will have benefited the entire universe as well as your own career?’

  ‘Mr Skulk, as judge of this trial I must correct your logic. Simply because I have been forced to react to my colleagues’ call for me to stand as president and do what I think is right, it does not mean that the act which caused this is any less catastrophic and abhorrent to me. Now, unless you have any actual insights, I must call this cross-examination to a close.’

  Eddie sighed. ‘No further questions.’

  .

  45

  ‘One new thing I noticed was a restricted area. I thought, why have a restricted area unless there’s something to hide?’

  Commander Kevolo paused proceedings for another commercial break, after which he announced they would hear the case for the defence. He laughed as he said it, and Eddie dropped his head into his hands. ‘This is hopeless,’ he moaned. ‘Do you know how many cases I’ve lost in my career? Do you? None. Not one, and now I’m going to lose this one in front of the entire galaxy. Do you know what this will do to my reputation?’

  ‘Funnily enough it’s not your reputation that I’m worried about. It’s the fact that I’m going to be executed for a crime I didn’t commit and that the man who is guilty of the crime is the one who’ll be signing my death warrant,’ retorted Stanley.

  ‘Then plead guilty.’

  ‘And be locked up for the rest of my life? No way. You told me you were the best, and I believed you. Now prove it. The fact that Kevolo is prosecutor and judge wouldn’t stop the best lawyer in the universe.’

  ‘If I’d known you were going to be so difficult I’d never have offered my services in the first place.’

  ‘You should have made Kevolo confess.’

  ‘Confess? Confess to what? We have shown that Kevolo has benefited from Vorlugenar’s death, but that’s it. Besides, I’ve just looked into that man’s eyes and I don’t think he’s lying. Face facts, Stanley – we haven’t got a scrap of evidence to suggest that he had anything to do with it.’

  ‘Well, maybe we would have if you and Dram had spent more time investigating and less time assuming I was lying.’

  ‘The kid’s got a point.’ The gruff voice came from behind them. They turned round to find Dram, his bright green eyes clashing badly with his blue face.

  He handed Eddie a piece of paper.

  ‘What’s this?’ asked Eddie.

  ‘It’s your witnesses plus a couple of notes on what to ask them.’

  ‘I thought I fired you.’

  ‘You just rehired me.’

  ‘I can’t do that.’

  ‘Yes, you can,’ said Stanley.

  ‘Order in the court,’ Commander Kevolo shouted. His gaze was locked on Dram. ‘Mr Skulk, please explain why this moon dweller is in the courtroom.’

  Eddie looked down at the piece of paper, then up at Commander Kevolo. ‘Dram Gurdling is the first witness for the defence.’

  Commander Kevolo scowled. ‘The court is now in session. Will Mr Gurdling please take his place in the witness box?’

  Dram walked across the arena and sat down. His eyes turned an indefinable shade of grey.

  Eddie stood up and began. ‘Please could you let the jury know your name and occupation?’

  ‘My name’s Dram Gurdling and I’m a private detective.’

  ‘And how do you know the defendant?’

  ‘I’ve been working on his case and I’ve recently uncovered evidence that he is innocent of the murder of President Vorlugenar.’

  An excited muttering swelled in the courtroom and Commander Kevolo shouted, ‘Objection. The witness should avoid making statements that he is incapable of backing up. There really is no doubt about Stanley Bound’s guilt in this matter. Objection sustained.’

  ‘Can you back up this extraordinary statement, Mr Gurdling?’ asked Eddie.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then please do so,’ said Eddie.

  ‘Back when I worked for Kevolo I was stationed on the Bucket, you know,’ Dram began.

  ‘You are wearing the court’s patience thin,’ interrupted Commander Kevolo. ‘Please get to the point. I won’t warn you again.’

  ‘Mostly nothing has changed,’ continued Dram, ‘but some things have. One new thing I noticed was a restricted area. I thought, why have a restricted area unless there’s something to hide? So I checked it out and I uncovered some rather interesting things.’

  ‘Objection. Objection sustained,’ cried Commander Kevolo. ‘Mr Skulk, your witness has just admitted to the crime of trespassing. This court takes such offences extremely seriously. Officers, arrest this witness immediately. The jury will forget this witness’s entire testimony.’

  To Stanley’s surprise Dram put up no resistance to his arrest. He held his arms out to allow them to cuff his wrists together. As they led him away he winked at Stanley and mouthed the words, ‘Good luck, kid.’

  Eddie returned to the desk, flustered by the sudden disappearance of his first witness.

  ‘I don’t get it. He didn’t say anything,’ said Stanley.

  Eddie didn’t reply to Stanley but said out loud, ‘The defence calls its next witness.’

  Commander Kevolo chuckled. ‘Since your first one confessed to a crime, I’m actually looking forward to hearing what your second has to say.’

  ‘The defence calls Professor Karl NomVeber.’

  Professor NomVeber entered the room and sat in the witness box. He wore a benign expression and seemed quite unaware of the stunned silence that greeted him.

  ‘Professor NomVeber,’ said Eddie, ‘it seems unnecessary to explain to the jury who you are. Everyone is aware of your enormous contribution to Armoria and the galaxy as a whole, but tell me what brings you on-board the Bucket.’

  The professor cleared his throat with a small cough and said, ‘Commander Kevolo kindly agreed to give me permission to come here in exchange for turning Stanley in. Stanley turned up at my home, you see.’

  ‘You turned me in?’ exclaimed Stanley.

  ‘Silence from the accused!’ snapped Kevolo.

  The professor ignored the interruption. ‘I’m afraid so, dear boy. You see, as I explained, I will do anything when there is a puzzle to be solved.’

  ‘The defendant will refrain from shouting out, and I did not give you permission to come here in order for you to appear as a witness for the defence,’ said Commander Kevolo.

  ‘What is this puzzle you speak of, Professor?’ asked Eddie.

  ‘Ah, well, y
es, it’s an intriguing thing. Let me introduce you to someone.’

  Professor NomVeber reached into a pocket and pulled out Spore, allowing him to climb on to his palm so that everyone could see him.

  ‘Hello, Stanley,’ said Spore, waving.

  Eddie looked as confused by this as the rest of the court. Whatever he had been expecting the professor to do, pulling a talking mushroom from his pocket clearly wasn’t on the list.

  ‘What is it?’ he asked.

  ‘I not an it. I am Spore,’ said Spore.

  ‘He belongs to the species Gomphus mobilus. To you and me that’s a free-roaming fungus that breeds in the dark, except Spore is no ordinary mushroom. As you can see, somewhat remarkably, Spore has been blessed with the ability to speak.’

  ‘Once again, Mr Skulk, I feel compelled to remind you that if your witnesses are incapable of providing relevant evidence then I will have to ask you to move on,’ warned Commander Kevolo.

  ‘I have to say, Professor, that I share Commander Kevolo’s confusion,’ said Eddie.

  ‘Spore represents a huge leap forward in evolution, which has hitherto been unheard of amongst such species,’ said Professor NomVeber.

  ‘A fascinating biological insight, I’m sure,’ said Commander Kevolo, ‘but exactly what has it to do with the trial of Stanley Bound?’

  ‘Please don’t rush me. I am coming to the point. The facts available were as follows. I knew that Spore had never left the Bucket, but I also knew that such development would have been impossible without outside influence, so it stood to reason that whatever did this to him was on board it. That’s why I wanted so much to come here. It should have struck me then, the reason. It’s obvious really, isn’t it?’

  The professor paused mid-flow with a look of wide-eyed anticipation on his face. After a few seconds Commander Kevolo said in an exasperated voice, ‘Please enlighten us.’

  ‘I found it in the restricted area that Mr Gurdling mentioned. I could have laughed, it seemed so obvious. Of course, the Planner was on board and, of course, that was how Spore came to speak.’