Jax (A Bastard Novel)

by J. L. Perry

  Thank Christ she’s still here. I thought she’d done a runner on me.

  My eyes immediately take in her appearance. She’s only wearing her top and pink lace panties. It makes my cock immediately come to life. She’s so beautiful.

  I see a smile forming on her face as her eyes travel down the length of my body. ‘Is that a dagger in your pocket, Mr Albright, or are you just pleased to see me?’

  I laugh. I’m not wearing pants, so I don’t even have a pocket.

  ‘I’m pleased to see you, Miss Crawford,’ I say as I take a step towards her and slide my hands around her waist.

  ‘I had a wonderful time last night,’ she says, resting the side of her face against my chest and wrapping her arms around my waist. ‘I hate that it has to end.’

  ‘You’re still mine until you walk out that door.’ Looking up at me, she smiles. It’s the kind of smile that hits me right in the chest.

  I back her up against the wall as my lips meet hers. I’m gonna drag this morning out as much as I can.

  JAX

  Four months later …

  AFTER LOCKING THE STUDIO DOOR, I PULL CANDICE INTO MY arms as my lips bear down on hers. She’s my drug and I’m addicted. We tug at each other’s clothes in a desperate attempt to undress. It’s like we’re starved for one another.

  Since that night four months ago this has become our regular thing: hiding away from everyone and fucking each other’s brains out every chance we get. We tried going back to the way we were, just friends, but it didn’t even last forty-eight hours. I’d innocently brushed my fingers across the small of her back one day as I passed her in the hallway and her breath hitched. It sent every drop of blood in me coursing straight to my cock. I knew in that moment it was impossible for me to stay away. I was consumed. I craved her too much. Without hesitation, I’d reached for her hand, leading her to my studio. Once the door was closed, I’d clicked the latch, locking us inside. She didn’t have to speak a word; the look on her face told me everything I needed to know. She wanted this just as much as I did.

  We’ve since turned from best friends to friends with benefits. In all honesty, this isn’t what I’d envisioned for us. But it’s far better than what we had. I finally have what I’ve always longed for, but I still want more—no, I need more. With every passing day, I fall deeper and deeper. Something’s gotta give soon.

  ‘Aren’t you supposed to be working on my new tattoo?’ she asks, when my tongue trails a path down her neck.

  ‘Fuck your tattoo. I’ve got better things to do.’

  ‘Like what?’ She laughs. Is she kidding me?

  ‘Like devouring you. Now turn around.’ Like the good girl she is, she does exactly as I ask. She can drop the innocent act; she wants this just as much as I do. ‘Raise your arms in the air.’ I run my hands up the sides of her body, bringing her top with them. I need to feel her skin. After sliding her top over her head, I drop it to the floor. Palming her breast through her black satin bra, my other hand dips into the front of her pants.

  ‘Jax,’ she breathes as she rests her head on my shoulder and threads one of her hands into my hair.

  ‘Come for me beautiful,’ I whisper into her ear as my fingers circle her clit. I love that she’s already wet for me.

  ‘Mmm,’ she moans. ‘That feels so good.’

  She better believe it does. Our sexual chemistry is explosive.

  Within minutes I have her coming undone with my fingers. I wrap my free hand in her hair and tilt her head to the side so I can kiss her to muffle her cries of ecstasy. These walls are thin. Nobody has said anything yet, but it’s only a matter of time before we get caught. The sneaking around part excites me, but on the other hand, I hate that we’re hiding from the rest of the world. I want to claim her and make her mine. I’d love nothing more than to shout it from the rooftops. But this is what she wants, and I can’t deny her anything.

  I step forward, taking her with me, until I have her pressed against the wall.

  ‘Place your hands on the wall,’ I command. She does exactly as I ask, pushing her arse backwards. I groan when she grinds it against my aching cock. It pleases me that she wants me just as much as I want her. Hooking my thumbs in the side of her tights, I drag them down her legs. ‘I like your pants so much better when they’re around your ankles.’

  She laughs. ‘So do I, but only when you’re around.’

  Pulling my T-shirt over my head, I drop it on the floor with hers. I grab a condom from my pocket before I flick open the button of my jeans and pull down the zip. I rip the foil packet open with my teeth as I free my cock from my pants. I’m dying to take her bareback again, but even though she’s now on the pill, she still insists I wear one of these fuckers.

  I slide my free hand under the cup of her bra and roll her nipple between my finger and thumb. I can’t seem to keep my hands off her when we’re alone, and it’s a constant struggle not to touch her when we’re in public. When we’re around the other staff, we act just like we always have, as friends and nothing more. I do grope her arse and tits, or steal a kiss when nobody is looking. Having her again is all I think about. I’m obsessed. She consumes me. Of an evening when we walk back to my place to collect my car, so we can head to her house for dinner, we just walk side by side. No hand holding, or touching. The moment we walk through my front door, though, we’re ripping each other’s clothes off like damn maniacs.

  I use my knee to part her legs as much as the pants around her ankles will allow, impaling her with my cock in one swift motion. I use my free hand to cover her mouth as she moans. My other hand grips her hip as I draw back slightly before pushing all the way in. The feeling of her tight pussy wrapped around my cock will never get old. I don’t think I’ll ever get my fill.

  ‘Can I take you out somewhere nice tonight, on a date?’ I’ve never taken anyone on a date before, but I really want to do something nice with her. She deserves so much more than this.

  ‘A date?’ she whispers as I continue to pound into her.

  ‘Yeah, a date.’

  ‘I thought we were just having fun. You said you weren’t capable of anything more than this.’

  Her words have me stilling inside her. She’s right, I did say that. Her comment pisses me off nevertheless. ‘Things change, Candice … people change.’

  Turning slightly to look at me, she places her hand on the side of my face. ‘Okay, but can we go somewhere away from here?’

  ‘Why, are you ashamed to be seen with me?’

  ‘What? No.’ She screws her face up. ‘I’m just not ready to share this with the world yet. It will just complicate things.’

  ‘How? Who cares what the rest of the world thinks?’

  ‘I’m just not ready.’

  ‘Fine,’ I snap in annoyance.

  ‘Don’t be mad with me, Jax. We’re a work in progress. You can’t rush perfection.’

  I know it’s Sophia finding out that worries Candice the most. She goes all weird when we’re together at her house, sitting at the opposite end of the dinner table, the furthest spot away from me. If Candice stays at my place, she’ll drive her own car over instead of getting a lift with me, so her mother doesn’t know we’re actually together. Sophia even pulled me aside recently and asked if I’d met Candice’s gentleman friend. Yeah, I’ve met him, it’s fucking me. I don’t know why Candice keeps us from her mother, of all people. Sophia likes me, and I’m pretty sure she’d be happy for us.

  When I go to withdraw, Candice moves her arms behind her, wrapping them around my waist to hold me in place. ‘Don’t, Jax,’ she pleads. ‘Don’t pull away from me.’

  I exhale a large breath, resting my chin on the top of her head. ‘Let’s just drop it then. It was a crazy idea anyway.’

  ‘It’s not a crazy idea. I love that you want to go on a date with me. Really, I do.’

  She could’ve fooled me. I thought she’d be happy, but I guess I was wrong. I swear I’ll never understand women.

&nb
sp; ••••

  ‘You look beautiful,’ I say when I open the front door. I wanted to pick her up tonight, but again she came to me instead.

  Candice doesn’t often dress up all girly and shit, but when she does … fucking wow. She’s breathtaking. Don’t get me wrong, she always looks gorgeous, but it’s nice to see her in a dress for a change. I’m already fighting the urge to rip it right off her luscious body and have my way with her, but tonight I want to do this right. I’m more than ready to take a leap of faith and put my heart on the line for her. It will only ever be her. I just pray she doesn’t crush it.

  The past few months have made me realise we could never go back to being just friends. She’s mine for keeps now. I only hope she feels the same. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain by making this thing official.

  ‘You look rather dashing yourself, Mr Albright,’ she replies, sliding her arms around my waist.

  I feel stupid in this damn tie, but I wanted to look nice for her. It’s a thin black leather one, more me than the designer silk ties I used to wear to the political functions my father made me attend. To keep it casual, I paired it with an untucked white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows and a pair of black trousers.

  I smile as I push a strand of pink hair behind her ear. ‘Thank you.’ I place my lips briefly on hers. ‘We better get going, the reservation’s at seven.’ I’d like to add, ‘Since we have to drive three fucking suburbs away,’ but I don’t. I want tonight to be special, so pissing her off before we leave isn’t a wise move. Hopefully after tonight I’ll be able to convince her there should be no more hiding.

  ‘I’m looking forward to going on our first real date,’ she says as we walk to my car.

  ‘Really?’ Because I’m having serious doubts after the way she acted this afternoon.

  ‘Yes, really. I know it didn’t seem like it earlier, but it will be nice to spend some time with you in public.’

  Again I want to say, ‘Three fucking suburbs away,’ but I bite my tongue.

  I open the car door for her and she gets in. My gut churns as I walk around to the driver’s side. Am I making the right decision here? There’s no doubt about my feelings towards her. She owns my heart, and always will. But is laying my heart on the line the right choice? I’ve never thought of myself as the commitment type, but the last four months have proved me wrong. There’s no way I could go back to the life I had. No fucking way. We’ve passed the friend zone and moved into some serious shit. This is where dreams come true, or hearts get broken.

  ‘You’re quiet, are you okay?’ she asks on the drive to the restaurant. Reaching across the centre console, she places her hand on my thigh. I love it when she does that.

  I’m quiet because I’m having an internal freak-out, but of course I don’t tell her that. ‘I’m fine,’ I reply, turning the radio up. I’m already second-guessing myself, so if we want to make it through the rest of the night, it’d be best if we don’t discuss it.

  ‘Seriously, Jax. You’re gonna turn the radio up to avoid talking to me?’

  I shake my head and chuckle. She knows me too well.

  ‘I’m waiting, Mister!’

  I look at her when we stop at a red light. She crosses her arms over her chest and raises one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows. I’m instantly distracted by the way her perky tits are pushed up, so my gaze remains fixed on her chest.

  ‘My eyes are up here, buddy.’

  I lick my lips as I lean across the centre console and place my mouth on the swell of one of her breasts. ‘You have spectacular tits,’ I whisper, as I softly bite her nipple through the thin fabric of her dress.

  ‘Jax,’ she moans as her lips part slightly and her head pushes back into the seat. I run my hand up her inner thigh and under her dress, as my cock painfully strains against my pants. She’s addictive. Nobody turns me on like she does. I groan when she parts her legs for me.

  ‘You can’t distract me with sex,’ she practically whimpers when my finger slides into the side of her panties.

  ‘Wanna make a bet?’ I know her better than she knows herself.

  She bites her lip when I slip a finger inside her. The moment her eyes flutter closed, I know she’s lost.

  ‘Shit,’ I curse, when the car behind us sounds its horn, alerting me that the traffic light has turned green.

  I reluctantly remove my finger from her little piece of paradise and straighten in my seat.

  Candice adjusts her dress before looking over at me. ‘Nice try. Now stop avoiding my question. What are you hiding from me?’

  ‘I’m not hiding anything.’

  ‘Yes you are, Jaxson Albright. You’re weirding out on me. You better not have asked me out tonight so you can tell me you want to see other people? I swear if you did, you’d better start running.’

  I squirm in my seat when her gaze moves down to my crotch.

  ‘What? Of course not.’ I sure as hell wouldn’t like to be in my shoes if that were the case. ‘Look, I just want to talk to you about something.’

  ‘Shoot.’

  Christ. I wanted to wait until after we’d eaten, but there’s no way she’s going to let that happen. She’s way too stubborn. ‘It’s no big deal … it’s just …’

  ‘Spit it out, Jax.’

  ‘Christ.’ I try to bide some time by scrubbing one of my hands over my face. I’m not sure how to even say it. I’ve never asked anyone to be my girlfriend before. I don’t want to scare her away.

  ‘I’m waiting.’

  ‘Just give me a sec. I’m nervous about asking you, okay?’

  ‘About asking me what?’

  I guess it’s now or never. I can see she’s starting to get impatient with my vagueness. I exhale. ‘I want to ask you if you’ll be my girlfriend.’

  When she doesn’t reply, my heart drops. I dart a quick look at her: her eyes are wide, and her sweet mouth gapes. If she gives me the, ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ spiel, I’m gonna lose my shit.

  ‘For Christ’s sake, Candice, say something.’

  ‘You want to be my boyfriend … like officially?’

  ‘Yes. Only if you want me to. I’m sick of hiding.’

  I swear I’m holding my breath as I wait for her to reply. If she’s trying to torture me, she’s doing a good job of it.

  A few seconds later, she shrugs. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Okay, what?’ I ask, quickly pulling the car over to the kerb.

  The second I bring the vehicle to a stop, she turns her face away from me, looking out the front windscreen.

  ‘Candice,’ I growl, removing my seatbelt. I’m starting to panic a little.

  ‘Sure, I’ll be your girlfriend,’ she says, very nonchalantly.

  ‘Wow … really? That’s all you have to say?’ I wasn’t sure how she’d react, but I certainly didn’t expect it would be this casually.

  I see her lips curl into a smile, as she glances in my direction. She must be yanking my chain. I knew it could go either way, but I wasn’t expecting this lame-arse response.

  ‘Candice.’ I can hear the pathetic pleading tone in my voice as I wait for her to say something else. I need more from her. This isn’t a joke—I’m offering her my damn heart here. This is a huge move for me. One I never thought I’d take.

  She finally turns her body, facing me. ‘I’m sorry, but are you sure this is what you really want, Jax? You can’t change your mind in the morning. Well, technically you can, but I wouldn’t if I was you,’ she adds, as her gaze moves back down to my crotch. ‘If you catch my drift.’

  I swallow nervously. I catch her drift all right, loud and clear. I’ve seen firsthand the damage Candice can cause. My balls are running for cover just thinking about it.

  ‘Jokes aside, this isn’t easy for me, Candice. I think you know me well enough to know I wouldn’t even entertain the idea if it wasn’t something I really wanted.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  I hate the uncertainty I c
an see on her face. ‘Never been surer.’

  ‘Well in that case, I’d love to be your girlfriend, Jax.’ This time she gives me a beautiful smile, the kind of smile that takes my breath away. ‘In my head, I’ve been pretending we already are boyfriend and girlfriend anyway.’

  I chuckle. As pathetic as that sounds, there have been times I’ve pretended the same thing. I pull her into my arms. I hope I’ve made the right decision for us.

  ‘You know this means no more hiding.’

  ‘No more hiding,’ she whispers.

  ‘Thank you.’

  Drawing back, her beautiful blue eyes lock with mine. ‘You don’t have to thank me, Jax. There’s no one else I’d rather be with.’ Her hand gently caresses the side of my face. ‘You’re it for me.’

  I fucking love it when she looks at me like this. It sends tingles down my spine and straight to my cock.

  ‘Kiss me.’ Reaching for my tie, she uses it to pull my body towards hers. She doesn’t need to ask me twice. ‘I can’t wait to have sex with my sexy boyfriend when we get home.’

  If we didn’t have reservations, I’d turn around and head there right now. But I want this date with her. She deserves so much more than just sex.

  I want to give her the world.

  Pulling out of the kiss, I look at my watch. ‘We should get going. I don’t want to be late for my first real date with my girlfriend.’

  She gives my hand a squeeze. Call me crazy, but I can already feel a difference in the air. Is it wrong to hope?

  ‘Let me just reapply my lipdick,’ she says, lifting her huge bag onto her lap, and riffling around inside.

  ‘Hold on a minute, did you just say “lipdick”?’ She has dicks on the brain.

  ‘I did.’ When she finds the lipstick in her bag, she removes the lid and extends her arm across the centre console, shoving it in my face.

  ‘What the hell?’ I say. ‘Is that a dick?’

  She throws her head back and laughs. ‘Actually, yes. It’s a lipstick shaped like a dick—a lipdick. Isn’t it cool?’

  ‘Get that fucker away from me,’ I snap, slapping her hand away. I immediately scrub my hand over my mouth. I just kissed her with that shit all over her lips. ‘You have serious issues; you know that right?’