Jax (A Bastard Novel)

by J. L. Perry

  Her eyes widen. ‘Indiana Indiana? He has a date with her?’

  ‘The one and only.’

  ‘Get out of town,’ she squeals, slapping my chest.

  ‘There’s no need to get violent,’ I say, rubbing the spot.

  She’s beaming as she places her hand over her mouth. ‘I can’t believe it. He actually has a date with her?’

  ‘He does.’

  She lets go of me and takes a step back. I chuckle when she rolls up her sleeves and rubs her hands together like she’s preparing for battle.

  ‘Okay, what do we need to do?’

  ‘Settle down there, Rambo. I have to wait for him to text me all the info.’

  ‘I can’t believe he’s finally doing this. We’ve gotta make sure it’s a kickarse date.’

  Her eagerness to help makes me smile. I’m glad she’s on board, because I have no clue about this shit. I know I gave him a hard time about it, but I want tonight to go well for him.

  I pull her back into my arms. ‘Have you met her?’

  ‘Indiana?’

  I nod.

  ‘No, I haven’t, but that night I went to Carter’s house, he told me all about her. They kinda remind me of us.’

  It’s funny, when Carter first mentioned her, I thought the exact same thing.

  ‘It almost killed me that night when you went to his house,’ I say. I’ve never had the guts to ask her about the details.

  She gives me a sad look as her hands move up to cup my face. ‘I only went because I was trying to move on … to get over you. As it turned out, Carter only invited me over because he was trying to do the same with Indiana. We ended up just talking.’

  ‘Your reasons for going sound awfully familiar.’ I hate that there were so many other women in between. Especially now that I know she felt the same way about me all along. ‘Please know all the others meant nothing to me. It’s only ever been you. They were just my pathetic attempt at trying to forget you. It never helped. You still held my heart. You always will.’

  She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. I hate that my past indiscretions have hurt her.

  ‘It’s all in the past now, Jax. What is important is the future … our future.’

  She’s right. I brush my lips against hers. ‘If Carter can find even a fraction of what we have now, with Indiana, I’ll be happy.’

  ‘You really care about him, don’t you?’

  ‘I do. He’s like a brother to me. Underneath all that attitude, he’s a great guy. I’d swap him for Brent in a heartbeat if I could.’

  ‘Oh, Jax,’ she says as she squeezes me tight. ‘I totally get that. It’s like my relationship with Brendan. If I could swap my real dad for him, I’d do it too.’

  ‘I’m glad that you have him. He adores you and Maddie.’

  ‘And we adore him. I can’t wait until he and Mum are married. I’ve come to realise that the special people in our lives don’t have to be blood related to be classified as family. It’s how you feel about them in here that counts.’ She places her hand over her heart.

  ‘I love you.’

  Her fingers tenderly stroke my face. ‘And I love you too, Jaxson Albright. So much. It took a while, but we finally got our shit together. Let’s hope Carter and Indiana do the same.’

  I gently kiss her, groaning when she tilts her head back and deepens the kiss. My hands slide down to cup her arse as I push my semi-hard cock against her.

  We pull apart quickly when Maddie enters the kitchen. It’s like she has a cock-blocking radar or something.

  ‘Ew,’ she says. ‘Do you two ever stop kissing?’

  I chuckle when Candice’s face turns a light shade of pink.

  ‘We’re in love,’ she says, looking at our daughter. ‘That’s what people in love do.’

  ‘Yuck.’ Maddie turns and leaves the room. ‘I’m never falling in love. Kissing is gross.’

  I can’t help but laugh. I know she’s happy that we’re a proper family now, because she cried tears of joy when Candice and I told her that they were moving in with me. But I think she’s still coming to terms with seeing us being affectionate with each other because we were apart for the first six years of her life. It’s something I never had to witness growing up either. My parents don’t do affection. Not even with their kids.

  ••••

  ‘I think that’s everything,’ Candice says as I pack the last of the things in the boot of the car. I hope so too. She went above and beyond, making sure we had everything just right for Carter and Indiana’s date. The list of instructions she’s given me is a fucking mile long. I even had a lesson on how to set the table properly. I’m a damn Albright—doesn’t she realise that the proper placement of cutlery was imperative in my house growing up? My mother thrived on that shit.

  By the time I climb into the car and fasten my seatbelt, I’m a damn mess. I make a mental note to stop off on the way and grab a packet of cigarettes. I need to make sure I get this right, not just for Carter, but for Candice. She’ll bust my balls if I stuff this up. Thanks to her, the simple act of setting up a table and lighting a damn candle has now turned into a major fucking event.

  When I reach the park under the bridge, I begin to set up. After I place the rose in the vase and light the candle, the finishing touches, I start to pace back and forth. I stop and pull out the list Candice made me, going over it one more time. I need to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything.

  Table – check

  Chairs – check

  Tablecloth – check

  Vase – check

  Rose – check

  Candle – check

  Plates – check

  Cutlery – check

  Wineglasses – check

  Thank fuck this night is nearly over – check

  I pull the zip up on my jacket. It’s damn cold tonight. As the minutes tick past, my gut churns. It’s not even my date, so I have no idea why I’m the one who’s nervous. I look down at my watch. Carter should be here by now. Pulling out my phone, I call him.

  ‘How far away are you, fucker?’ I say when he answers. ‘I’m freezing my nuts off here.’

  ‘I’m just parking the car.’

  ‘Good. Hurry up, pussy, so I can get the fuck out of here.’

  ‘We’ll be there in a minute.’

  I breathe a sigh of relief when I see them. They look good together and Carter looks happy. I smile smugly at him as they approach. I may be happy for him, but I’m still gonna give him shit about tonight. It’s my job.

  ‘Hey,’ he says with a nod.

  I examine his date. She’s a looker. Not as beautiful as my girl, but close. She has long dark hair and pretty green eyes. I see what he means about her being short. She’s like four foot nothing. Carter towers over her.

  ‘Hey.’

  ‘Indiana, this is my friend, Jax. Jax, Indiana.’

  I reach for her hand and bring it to my mouth. I suppress my smile when I hear a slight growl come from Carter. ‘So, I finally get to meet the elusive Indiana. Carter never shuts up about you.’

  I try not to laugh when I hear him mumble, ‘Motherfucker.’

  This is fun.

  ‘He talks about me?’ Indiana asks. There’s a huge smile on her face as her eyes dart to Carter.

  ‘All the damn time,’ I lie.

  ‘I do not, arsehole,’ he snaps. I bet he’s wishing he didn’t involve me in his plans tonight.

  ‘I’m just messing with you, mate,’ I say, slapping his back. He gives me a look that tells me I’m gonna pay for what I just said, but I’m not worried. He may not realise it, but chicks dig that shit, so in a roundabout way, I’m actually helping him.

  ‘Is this all for us?’ Indiana asks, looking at the table.

  ‘It is,’ Carter replies, draping his arm over her shoulder. He can deny it all he wants, but he’s in love with her. ‘Do you like it?’

  ‘I love it.’ She slides her arms around his waist, and when she looks up
at him and smiles, I can see she’s in love with him too. It’s the same expression I see on Candice’s face when she looks at me. ‘Thank you, Jax,’ she says to me.

  ‘Don’t thank me. Just doing what the big fella asked.’ Her smile widens as her gaze moves back to Carter. I’m truly happy for them both. ‘I’m gonna duck off and pick up the food,’ I say. ‘Then I’m out of here.’

  I watch as Carter pulls out a chair for Indiana and places a kiss on her hair once she’s seated. ‘I just need to speak to Jax for a second,’ he says.

  I take a few steps away from the table, and he follows. ‘Thanks for all your help,’ he says shaking my hand. ‘I appreciate it. You did well for an arsehole.’

  I laugh. ‘No problem. I aim to please.’ I pull out a cigarette and light it—now that part of tonight is over, I can breathe a little easier. The pressure isn’t off yet though. I still have to get their food. ‘For the record, I’d probably turn pussy for her too.’ I whisper it softly enough so only he can hear.

  ‘Keep your eyes off her, she’s mine,’ he snaps.

  I shake my head and laugh as I walk away, heading for my car.

  He bites every damn time.

  ••••

  It’s around 10.30 pm when I finally arrive home, but I’m not surprised to find Candice waiting up for me.

  ‘How did it go?’ Candice asks excitedly, the moment I walk through the front door. She rubs her hands together as she bounces with anticipation.

  ‘It was a hit,’ I say, pulling her into my arms and crushing her body against mine.

  ‘Jax, I can’t breathe,’ she says, trying to wiggle out of my embrace.

  ‘Sorry.’ I loosen my grip as I rest my chin on the top of her head. I don’t have the heart to tell her that when I went back, Carter confessed that Indiana is sick, really sick, hence all the trouble he went to tonight. I feel like a prick for ribbing him about his date now. He tried his best to play it down, but I could see he was traumatised by the news. Surely life couldn’t be that cruel, to take her away from him when he’s only just gotten her back?

  Who am I kidding? I know firsthand what a fucking bitch life can be sometimes. For their sake, I pray that’s not the case.

  ‘What’s she like?’

  ‘Nice. Pretty. They’re good together.’ I try my best to sound enthusiastic, but fail miserably.

  Drawing back, her eyes meet mine. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘Of course,’ I lie, forcing out a smile to try to hide my true feelings. Candice cares about Carter as well, so I know this news will upset her. It’s my job to protect her from stuff like that. I pull her to me once more. I’d be lost without her. I can only imagine how Carter is feeling right now.

  When I finally release her, I lace my fingers through hers. ‘Come on, let’s go to bed.’

  I need to make love to my woman.

  CANDICE

  ‘GOD, NO,’ I EXHALE IN A PANIC AS I OPEN THE LID OF THE washing machine and pull out Maddie’s bedsheets. My heart beats furiously in my chest when I realise what I’ve done. There’s stuffing and tiny fragments of fake fur all through the machine. ‘Shit … not Puppy.’ He must’ve got caught up in the bed linen when I stripped her bed this morning. She’s going to be devastated—I’m devastated. She’s had that toy since she was a baby.

  I pull out my phone. My hands are shaking as I dial Jax’s number.

  ‘Hey, babe,’ he says when he answers.

  ‘Jax.’ I start to cry the moment I hear his voice. ‘I’ve killed Puppy.’ I reach into the machine and pull out one of Puppy’s ears, holding it up in front of me as I speak.

  ‘Puppyyyyyy!’ I hear Maddie scream at the top of her lungs. I look over to find her standing in the doorway. ‘You killed my Puppy!’

  ‘Fuck. What in the hell is going on?’ Jax asks.

  Maddie runs towards me with tears streaming down her face. She gets up on her toes and looks inside the machine. As soon as she sees her beloved stuffed toy in a thousand pieces, she starts sobbing hysterically. When those big brown tear-filled eyes look up at me, I swear my heart breaks in two. Her eyes have always been my weakness because they’re just like Jax’s. When she notices Puppy’s ear in my hand her face screws up and she snatches it from me, clutching it to her chest.

  ‘I’m not your friend anymore!’ she screams as she runs from the room. Hearing her say that makes my already broken heart shatter into tiny pieces.

  The phone is still against my ear, and I vaguely hear Jax say, ‘Christ, I’ll be there in a few minutes.’

  ‘Maddie,’ I call as I drop the phone and chase her.

  She runs straight to her bedroom, closing the door and locking herself inside.

  ‘Maddie, please. Open the door. It was an accident.’

  She doesn’t reply, but I can hear her crying on the other side.

  ‘Baby, please let me in. I’m so sorry.’ The tears are flowing freely down my face now as I rest my forehead against the door. My heart is hurting for my little girl. She loves that damn toy.

  Within minutes, Jax comes bursting through the front door. He’s breathless, so he must’ve run home from his shop. I’m still working Monday to Friday at the other place, but only nine am until 2.45 pm. Jax wants me to be here for Maddie after school.

  ‘Jesus,’ he pants, when he sees the state I’m in. He pulls me into his arms and I can hear his heart beating rapidly as he holds me. I’m so glad he’s here. I can’t deal with this on my own.

  ‘It was an accident. Puppy must’ve been tangled in the sheets when I put them in the machine.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ he says, tenderly stroking my hair. ‘I know you wouldn’t do it on purpose.’ He cups my face in his hands and wipes my tears away with the pad of his thumbs. ‘Don’t cry. We’ll get it sorted. Maybe it can be sewn back together.’

  ‘It’s in too many pieces.’

  ‘Fuck. Where’s Maddie?’

  ‘In there,’ I answer, pointing to her bedroom door. ‘She’s locked me out. She told me she’s not my friend anymore.’

  He pulls me into his chest again. ‘She’s just upset. She doesn’t mean it. She probably picked it up from school. You know what kids are like.’ He kisses the top of my head before releasing me. ‘Let me talk to her.’

  He steps in front of the door and knocks. ‘Peanut, it’s me. Can I come in?’

  She doesn’t respond, but a few seconds later we hear the latch unlock before she opens the door. Her tear-stained face rips me apart. ‘Daddy,’ she cries as she collapses into his arms. ‘Puppy is dead.’

  ‘I know, princess, I know.’ He wraps her tightly in his arms while she sobs.

  My hand covers my mouth to muffle my own sob. I hate myself for breaking my little girl’s heart. I should’ve been more careful.

  ••••

  ‘Goodnight, baby girl,’ I say, tucking the blankets up around Maddie’s chin.

  ‘Night.’ Her voice is so soft, it’s barely audible. She’s hardly spoken a word all night. Jax had to go back to work after he settled her down—he was in the middle of a job when he ran out. She hasn’t cried again since he left, but she’s still heartbroken, her sombre face tells me that. She didn’t even eat any of her dinner, just pushed it around her plate.

  A lump rises in my throat when I notice Puppy’s ear still clutched in her hand. It’s all she has left. She’s never gone to sleep without him.

  My eyes move to the butterfly-shaped clock beside her bed. It’s just after eight. I was hoping Jax would be back by now. When he finished work he came home to pick up his car. All he said was he had somewhere he needed to go, and that he’d be home as soon as he could.

  ‘Would you like me to lie with you until you fall asleep?’ My hand runs over her hair as I speak. She nods. ‘I know I’ve said it a hundred times already, but I’m really sorry about Puppy.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ she says. ‘I’m sorry I said I’m not your friend, Mummy … you are my friend.’

  ‘I’m glad.
’ I tuck a stray curl behind her ear. ‘I’d hate it if we weren’t friends. I’ll go to the store tomorrow and buy you another Puppy.’

  ‘I don’t want another Puppy,’ she says as her eyes fill with tears. ‘I just want my Puppy.’

  ‘Oh baby.’ I pull her tiny body into mine. ‘I know. I wish I could fix this. I hate to see you hurting.’

  ‘He was my best friend,’ she whispers as she softly cries into my chest.

  ••••

  I wake with a start when someone gently shakes me.

  ‘Candice, wake up.’

  Jax’s handsome face is illuminated by the lamp beside the bed. I sit up and look at the clock. It’s eleven pm. Maddie is sound asleep beside me.

  ‘Are you just getting home?’ I whisper as I get out of Maddie’s bed slowly, careful not to wake her.

  ‘Come, I have something I want to show you.’ He reaches for my hand as he leads me out of the room.

  What is he up to? ‘Where have you been?’

  ‘Shh.’

  ‘Oh my God,’ I say, when he opens the flaps of a cardboard box that’s sitting by the front door. ‘You bought her a puppy?’

  ‘Not just any puppy.’ He beams. ‘It’s a beagle, the same breed as Snoopy.’

  Tears fill my eyes as he reaches in and gently lifts the sleeping puppy out. ‘He’s so cute.’ I gently run my hands over his fur and he opens one of his eyes. He has the cutest little face. He’s mainly white with some black markings on his back and head. There’s a tiny patch of tan over one of his eyes. ‘Where did you get a puppy at this time of night?’

  ‘I picked him up a few hours ago. I had to drive to a property three hours away. I had Ana search online for me this afternoon, before I left work.’

  ‘You’re amazing,’ I say as I slide my arms around his waist. ‘She’s going to love him.’

  ‘Can I take him in there now?’ he asks. He’s like a big kid. I don’t want to wake her since it took her so long to fall asleep, but he’s gone above and beyond for our little girl tonight, so I’m not going to ruin this for him.