Joe

by Jacqueline Druga

  Alexandra wouldn’t stop fussing. She kept dipping her arm down into her book bag throughout class.

  “Alex, leave your bag alone,” Jenny told her.

  “I’m just playing with my show and tell.”

  “It’s not show and tell yet honey, you have to wait. Now you don’t want me to make you put the book bag away, do you?”

  “No.” Alexandra shook her head.

  “Good, now back to the math problems. They need all your attention, they’re pretty difficult today.” She shifted her eyes to Billy, expecting some sort of sarcastic remark or expression. But she didn’t get it. Billy kept looking at Alexandra’s bag.

  As Jenny returned to her reading, she heard the back door of the school open. She peered up and saw Richie standing there. He waved her to come back.

  Jenny did, she excused herself from the main room of the class and went back to see Richie. “What’s wrong?”

  “No emergency,” Richie told her. “I just … I just need you to take care of something as soon as you can.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I know you heard about Frank and his little secret.”

  Jenny nodded.

  “Ellen doesn’t know yet. I don’t think.”

  With a gasp, she covered her mouth. “Oh my.”

  “I know.”

  “She can’t hear about it on the street. You know how things go in this town.”

  “Absolutely. Where is she now?”

  “Containment.”

  “Can you watch my class?” Jenny asked. “They’re doing math problems.”

  “Without a doubt. Thanks, Jenny.”

  “No problem.” Jenny opened the door.

  “Oh, and Jenny, be gentle.”

  “Tactful is more like it. You know it.” After a wink, Jenny with inhale of courage, embarked on her mission.

  *****

  “Hi ya’ Jim.” Bob poked his head, with some help from Frank of course, into Jimmy’s room.

  Jimmy laughed.

  Frank stepped in.

  “How cool is that, Frank?”

  “He is, isn’t he?” Frank had Bob look around. “I call him Bob.”

  “Where did you get him?”

  “Henry did a run this morning, he was on the truck.”

  “Too awesome.”

  “How you feeling Jim?” Asked Bob.

  Jimmy laughed again. “You’re good with that.”

  “Henry said my lips move.”

  “Well, they do, but sometimes that doesn’t matter.”

  “Cause I can go like this.” Frank turned his mouth into his shoulder and spoke.

  “Um, no.” Jimmy shook his head. “You’re still learning, keep trying.”

  “I will.”

  “So are you here to talk to me so I can get out?”

  “Yes.” Frank sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m glad you’re all better.”

  “Yeah, me too. Those antibiotics and anti-virals worked wonders. Jenny said they’re talking epidemic?”

  “No, it’s a virus.” Frank replied, seriously.

  “I mean … I mean … ok, thanks for clearing that up. I hear a lot of men got it or are worried.”

  “Dean is handling that. It’ll be over soon.”

  Jimmy nodded. “Good. Also good thing Bob can’t get it huh?”

  Frank fluttered his lips. “Tell me about it, he’s hard enough to learn now. Give him a brain virus. I’m done.”

  “Yeah.” Jimmy smiled. “Well, now that you gave the ok, I want to get back to work. I’m behind.”

  “Behind what?”

  “Where I want to be.”

  “Where do you want to be?”

  Jimmy huffed out. “Done with the ALS3.”

  “You are.”

  “I am.”

  “Yeah. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. When they said you went into the hospital, I went down to put everything on pause and bam, everything was up and working. You fixed it.”

  “Fixed it.”

  “Figured it out. Good job.” Frank swatted him on the leg.

  “I didn’t do it Frank.”

  “Yeah, you did.”

  “No, I didn’t.” Jimmy shook his head. “If I did I would know.”

  “No you wouldn’t.”

  “Why?”

  “You had the brain virus. I thought someone else did it, too. No one owned up. So I went into the lock history and you were the last one in the room. You solved the ALS3.”

  “Oh my God, and I missed the glory of it.”

  “I’m sure you jumped up and down, but just don’t remember because of the virus.”

  “Damn.” Jimmy hit his fist against the bed. He stood up at the same time as Frank.

  “I want to fill you in more, but you might as well wait until my meeting today. It’s in two hours.”

  “Ok. I’ll be there. I do want to go check out the ALS3. See how it works.”

  “You already know how it works,” Frank said. “You fixed it.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t remember.” Jimmy tucked in his shirt and headed toward the door.

  “It’ll come back to you.”

  “I hope the excitement comes back to me.”

  “It will.”

  “I must have had it bad,” Jimmy said.

  “Uh, yeah,” Frank replied. “They’re calling you patient zero.”

  “Oh my God, they think I started it.”

  Frank shrugged.

  “How?” Jimmy wondered. “How could I have started the virus?”

  “Uh, Jimmy, that’s an easy one.”

  “How so?”

  “Hello, you were at that computer all the time.”

  “Ok.” Jimmy waited and nodded. “So.”

  “So you got it from there.”

  “The computer?” Jimmy asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “How?”

  “Uh, computer virus? Those things are tricky and contagious. I mean, think about it. How many people did you hear about in the old world having a computer virus...?”

  “Frank you can’t get a … a …” Jimmy forced a smile. “Wow, I never thought of that.”

  Frank pointed to his own temple. “Got to use the brain when it doesn’t have a virus.”

  “You’re right. You’re the man, Frank.”

  Frank smiled. “I am.”

  *****

  “And here we have it set up like a theater,” Ellen explained to Jenny in the skills room. “You got your invite, right?”

  “Yes, I’ll be here. With a box of tissue.”

  “I hope we bring more laughs then tears. Ten of the residents are really working hard to pay tribute to Joe.”

  Jenny nodded sadly. “Ellen, the reason I’m here, isn’t because of the Joe Day.”

  “Really? Then why the visit.”

  “Ellen,” Jenny sighed out and grasped on to her shoulders. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  *****

  Elliott Ryder stared into the front window of Unique Boutique. They always had such nice things.

  He was looking for the perfect gift. Something to cheer up Ellen on such a bad day.

  His attention was caught when the door dinged, and Ben from Fabrics stepped outside. “Sgt. Ryder, can I assist you with something?”

  “I was window shopping.”

  “Looking for anything in particular?”

  “Actually, a gift for a friend. She is having a bad day.”

  “This friend wouldn’t be Ellen, would it?”

  “As a matter of fact. Yes.”

  “Figures, that poor dear. That beast of a man really messed things up. So Bill Clinton like isn’t he?”

  “How … how did you find out?”

  “Word travels fast. Come in.” Ben held open the door.

  Elliott, hesitant, followed.

  “As you know, Ellen comes in here regularly. She’s extended her credit to the max, but I can tell you items she has been wanting and looking at.” />
  “That would be nice,” Elliott said.

  “And, for reference.” Ben winked. “I just heard there will be an open house warehouse of goodies for us. Henry found a treasure trove.”

  “That’s nice to know.”

  “Here.” Ben lifted a small music box. “This is what she wants. She stares at this daily.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Am I sure she stares or sure she wants it.”

  “Sure she wants it?”

  “Positive. She told me, that should Captain Slagel come in I am to hint that she wants this.”

  Elliott chuckled. “It’s very unique.” He held the small box.

  “My dear, it is the Unique Boutique. Shall I wrap it for you?”

  “Please.”

  “Let me take it in the back.”

  While Ben from Fabrics disappeared, Elliott took in the shop. Checking out all the handmade items that were also available. They had more purses. Elliott knew Ellen was hinting for a new purse.

  Ding.

  He turned to see Hal walk in.

  “Captain.”

  “Purse shopping Elliott. The old handbag not big enough.”

  “Funny. No, Captain, I came to get Ellen a gift.”

  “Good God, Elliott, don’t spoil her.”

  “It’s not spoiling, it’s cheering her up.”

  “Ah, yes, I see.” Hal nodded. “For what?”

  “I’m sure you heard the news out of Beginnings?”

  “Which news?”

  “The unbelievable news.”

  Hal sighed out. “Elliott, it’s Beginnings, everything that comes from there is unbelievable. Which would this be, my father’s floating head?”

  “No. Frank’s bastard child.”

  Ben’s effeminate, ‘Bastard’ rang out.

  Both Hal and Elliott turned to the counter.

  “Sorry,” Ben placed his hand to his chest. “I’m just upset about all this.” He laid the wrapped gift on the counter. “I’ll charge this to your account, Sgt. Ryder.”

  “Thank you.”

  Hal shifted his eyes to the gift then to Ben. “Let me assure both of you men, that I am certain this Frank's bastard child rumor is just that. A rumor.”

  “How can you be so sure?” Elliott asked.

  “Because Elliott, it’s my brother. I know my brother. I’m positive he said something stupid and it was all misconstrued.”

  “But the women are certain …”

  “The women are wrong. The man is not sexually driven. My God, he’s only been with two women in his entire life. This is nonsense. You’ll see.”

  Ben raised his hand. “You still want that gift right?”

  Elliot looked down to the present. “Very much so, thank you.” He opened the door for him and Hal.

  Hal stepped out and placed on his bandana. “Well, now that you are armed with gifts, shall we go to Beginnings?”

  “Yes, I am ready. I have some thoughts of my own to share at the meeting.”

  “So you slept on it?” Hal said sarcastically, walking to the truck.

  “You can say that.”

  “Well, you’re ideas may be a little too late. My ideas may be a little too late.”

  Pausing before opening the door, Elliott looked at Hal. “What do you mean?”

  “I figured out his little sleep on it.”

  Elliott tilted his head in question.

  “My brother was stalling to talk to this new advisor.”

  Shocked, Elliott cocked back. “A new advisor? That sounds odd. He told you this.”

  “Not that he was stalling. But he said his new advisor has some things to say at the meeting.”

  “Where is he from?” Elliott asked, getting in the truck.

  “I don’t know.” Hal said after he entered and got situated behind the wheel. “Probably Jordan, maybe even Doyle camp. But I’m a little insulted that he’d go to someone new for advice.”

  “Understandable.”

  “Yes, I cannot wait to meet this man who has so much influence on my brother.” Hal started the truck. “This man my brother only calls Bob.”

  *****

  The black magic marker did the trick, and it was indelible ink, too, so it wouldn’t go away. Frank was impressed at how good Bob looked in a goatee. He was enjoying the new office and the much bigger desk.

  “Oh, yeah, we look alike.” Frank lifted the dummy, positioned it, warmed up the head and eyes, laughed at his own wit, and then spoke. “Hi.”

  “Hi.”

  “My name is Frank.”

  “My name is Bob.”

  Frank chuckled. “Fuck saying the letter ‘B is hard. Ok, I can do this lip not moving thing. In his own voice, “My name is Frank.”

  “I aim is Ob.”

  “What?”

  “Ob.”

  “Not Ob, Bob.”

  “Frank.”

  “No, my name is Frank. Of course Frank is easier to say.”

  “Yeah en ob.”

  “Bob. Fuck. I’ll get it. You want a cigarette.”

  “No I don’t smoke.”

  The door to the office blasted open and Ellen raged in.

  Frank let out an ‘uh!’ then so do did Bob.

  “You son of a bitch!” Ellen pointed at him and slammed the door.

  “What?’

  “Oh, look at you. You disgust me. You’ll do anything to have your hand up someone’s shirt.”

  “Well, yeah, I mean …” Frank stood. “El, what the fuck did I do?”

  “You would ask.”

  “I did.”

  “Fuck you Frank.”

  Bob’s head turned to Frank. “Wow, she’s mad at you.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  Bob said, “Your lips are moving.”

  “I know. But it’s hard to sound good like you when I don’t move my lips.”

  “Frank!” Ellen screamed. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Fuckin Bob has been getting me in trouble all day.”

  “Sure. Sure. Blame Bob. Was it Bob’s penis that started the trouble?”

  “I don’t know.” Frank looked at Bob. “Has your penis been starting trouble?”

  “I wouldn’t say trouble, I’d say …”

  Whack. Ellen smacked Bob.

  “Hey! You hit Bob.” Frank shouted.

  “Hey!” so did Bob.

  “Wow, I could do that word without moving my lips.”

  Ellen growled. “Can you please pay attention to me? Maybe that’s why you were in trouble. Maybe if you paid less attention to everyone else …”

  “El, what are you talking about. Why are you so pissed?”

  “You wanna know?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’ll tell you.”

  “Good. Cause me and Bob are tired of being yelled at and not knowing why.”

  “Fine!” Ellen blasted. “You started it. You made this big deal yesterday, Frank. A huge deal, and now it’s all over town.”

  “What is?”

  “Hiding the child.”

  Frank stared. After a moment he asked. “What do you mean?”

  “Sneak into the clinic. Hide the child. Hide the fact that you have a child that was at the clinic. Tell Roy that he can’t tell anyone your child was there.”

  “Ok, yeah, so. Fuck, it would start an uproar.”

  “Hello! It already did.”

  “Fuck. Who knows?”

  “Everyone.”

  “Are they pissed?” Frank asked.

  “Very.”

  “Fuck. I tried to keep it a secret. Big mouth Roy.”

  “Yeah, well, Roy doesn’t know about things.”

  “True.”

  “That’s it?” Ellen asked. “That’s all you have to say. Why didn’t I know Frank?”

  “I … I don’t know. You of all people should have known.”

  “Yes. I should have.”

  “You would have understood.”

  “Yeah, Frank, if y
ou would have told me at the time, I would have.”

  “Don’t be pissed.”

  “I’m hurt.”

  Frank’s eyes widened. “Really?”

  “Really, Frank. God.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’ll take some adjusting. Just … just …” Ellen held out her hand. “Tell me who the mother is?”

  “Kelly.”

  “Kelly? Who is Kelly?”

  “El, do you have the brain flu?”

  “No! I don’t have the brain flu, that’s a guy thing. Why would you ask?” she snapped.

  “Because first you don’t remember who Johnny’s mother is, then when I say her name, you don’t know who she is?”

  “Kelly.”

  “Yes.”

  “Oooh.” Ellen chuckled. “Kelly.”

  “See it’s all coming back to you.”

  “You had Johnny at the clinic?”

  “Yeah, I just said that. You knew that. Brain flu again.”

  “Oh my God.” Ellen laughed. She laughed hard.

  “I take it you aren’t mad anymore.”

  “Not at all. That is funny.”

  “Yeah, I had him there to see if he could fly. Why is that funny?”

  “Because you told Roy to keep it quiet, now the whole town thinks … they think you have a … never mind. Let’s let them keep thinking that, ok? it’s funny.”

  “Ok.” Frank shrugged.

  “I have to go back to work.” Ellen tipped toed up and kissed him. “I love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  “Have a good meeting.” She walked to the door and stopped. “And, Frank, you’re pretty good with that.” She pointed to the dummy.

  “Thanks.”

  “Don’t forget the Joe Day show.” Ellen opened the door.

  Bob asked, “Can I come too?”

  “Yes, you may. Sorry I hit Bob.”

  Frank walked to Ellen and had Bob kiss her. Ellen giggled and walked out.

  After an exhale, Frank turned to Bob. “Do you have any idea what that was about?”

  “Clueless.”

  “Me, too.” Frank walked back to his desk, to get ready for the meeting.

  *****

  “Frank,” Danny Hoi was usually easy going, and even tempered. “Frank.” He closed his eyes as he stood near the Joe Park on the phone. “Fine. Bob, may I speak to Frank? Thanks.”

  He nodded as he waited, catching from the corner of his eye, Jenny as she placed something on the Joe Board. Two things went through his mind, why was Jenny posting, that was a no-no, and who was with her students? Finally, Frank spoke.

  “Yes, Frank, Bob was nice. Now, did he by chance relay my message?”