Joe

by Jacqueline Druga

  “So I relapsed?”

  “We don’t think it was so much of a relapse as we didn’t get it all. We shouldn’t have released you so soon,” Andrea stated. “Lord knows we are running out of beds. But, the good news is, Dean will be bringing a serum that he guarantees will cure you, get rid of it for good.”

  “I don’t understand,” Dan looked at Andrea then to Danny who kept his head down. “Why is Joe’s head my hallucination?”

  “Well, Dean has a theory and I think it’s quite good. Hap sees Eleanor Roosevelt naked because his wife looked like her. Hector is seeing running tomatoes because he’s buried in them. You see Joe’s head because you miss his wisdom. You only see his head because really, where else did you look at him.”

  “Makes sense.”

  At that instant, Danny blurted out a coughing laugh. He covered it with a whimpering sorry.

  Andrea shook her head compassionately.

  “How did I get here?” Dan asked.

  Danny sighed out sadly. “I … I found you.”

  “No, you were with me. You had to have seen the head. The white face. The fangs. The ghoulish hunger in his eyes and …”

  “Sweet Jesus, stop.” Andrea covered her ears.

  “Sorry,” Dan whispered. “That was insensitive of me. But you saw it, Danny, right?”

  “No, I didn’t.” Danny sniffled. “You ...you looked so sick. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to keep it together.” He squeezed his eyes. “Robbie and I heard you scream.”

  “Robbie was there.”

  “No, he was with me. The last we saw you was at the cryo lab. Don’t you remember?” Danny asked.

  “No.”

  “Modula Oblongata Hypodesamentrayachictitis” Andrea stated. “It does that.”

  “I knew something was weird about you. You started acting strange. I blame myself.” Danny sniffed. “I blame myself.”

  “No, no, baby.” Andrea squeezed his shoulders. “There is nothing you could have done. But there is something you can do now.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Stop this madness. Stop this thing from spreading any further. Please. Dean has an antidote, let’s start hitting these men.”

  “You can count on me, Andrea. I’ll personally see that we put an end to this Modula Oblong …”

  “Modula Oblongata Hypodesamentrayachictitis.”

  “Yes. That word.” Danny peered up with confidence. “Let no man suffer, like Dan has suffered. No one deserves to see a floating Joe vampire head.”

  Andrea lowered her glances. “Sweet Jesus, demonic visions of my Joe. A nightmare.”

  Thinking, ‘Oh my God’ what have we started; Danny lowered his head and face from sight before he laughed again.

  *****

  For some reason, Hal was starting to think that Elliott welcomed the phone call regarding the brain virus, because he broke into a strategy conversation about it. Hal supposed he was whining, probably more brother jealousy. After all, he was Vice President why would Frank go to someone else for advice.

  And who was Bob?

  “I’m thinking perhaps a meeting tomorrow, Captain. All the men, those who are sleeping from the night shift we can get word to them.”

  “Sounds good,” Hal said distantly, as he stared off.

  “Perhaps once Dr. Hayes gets a lot of the serum together then we can have an inoculation day and put an end to this.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “This really has me concerned so close to the war. Do you think maybe it’s a biological weapon?’

  “Who is Bob?” Hal sat back.

  “Captain, have you heard me.”

  “Yes, yes, I did Elliot. But who is this Bob? Do we know a Bob?”

  “The only Bob I know is the soldier from the future.”

  “Yes, but Bob as an advisor?” Hal chuckled. “He barely gets out the word ‘ug’.”

  “Captain, I was merely tossing out names.”

  “Sorry.”

  “And you have to let this go. If not it will drive you nuts.”

  “Doesn’t he trust me, Elliott? Is that what it is?”

  “You have different visions.”

  “Not when it comes to war.”

  “True.” Hal exhaled. “You know what I’m going to do?”

  “What’s that?”

  “I’m going to tell my brother how I feel. Just let him know it made me feel badly that he went to someone else.”

  “I think that’s a good idea. Now what about this brain virus?”

  “Oh.” Hal waved out his hand. “There is no brain virus.”

  “But Captain, men are coming down with it.”

  “Elliott, this is Beginnings.” Hal opened the door when the truck stopped. “It’s all made up and suddenly we have a psycho epidemic on our hands. Trust me.”

  “If you say so.”

  “Now. Onward to my brother’s office.” Leading the way to the new office, Hal knocked once and when the ‘Come in’ rang out, he opened the door. “Am I early?”

  “A little,” Frank said standing. “Come in. We can talk. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

  “Certainly, I too.” Hal walked in. He took a seat, as did Elliott.

  “You first,” Frank said.

  “Good. I need to get something off my chest.”

  “As long as it’s not hair. We don’t need the mess.”

  Elliott snickered.

  “Shush,” Hal told him. “Frank. You are my big brother.”

  “I am.”

  “You are the president.”

  “I am.”

  “I am the vice president.”

  “I am not.”

  “Frank!”

  “What!”

  “Let me finish.”

  “Fuck. Yell at me. Go on.”

  Hal composed himself. “I am supposed to be your right hand man, yet … yet you’re leaving me out. You’ve found some … some stranger to advise you on military matters.”

  Frank rubbed his goatee. “And this bothers you.”

  “Yes, yes it does. Call it jealousy, what have you. But I feel I should be the first person you come to for advice. As a brother and as you co president.”

  “You’re right. But Bob is so smart.”

  Hal nodded. “I’m sure he is.”

  “I mean, Hal, it’s amazing. He thinks just like me.”

  “Really.” Hal tilted his head.

  “Has the same experience. And he can finish my sentences. Weird. He knows what I’m thinking as I think it.”

  “That’s quite a connection. How long have you known him?” Hal shifted in his seat.

  “Not long.”

  “He’s fun, Hal, got me in some trouble today. But fun. Wanna meet him.”

  “I suppose if he’s advising you I should.”

  Frank stood up. “And Hal, you’ll always be my top advisor.”

  “Thanks, Frank.” Hal folded his hands “That means a lot.”

  “You’re my brother. I love you. But let me get Bob. He’s in the bathroom.” Frank walked to the bathroom door. “Taking a while, too. I hope he’s all right.” Frank knocked. “Bob?”

  Hal stood, so did, Elliott.

  Frank opened the door and stepped in. “Hey, you ok?” He came out of the bathroom with … Bob.

  Elliott’s eyes widened.

  “That’s …” Hal pointed.

  “Bob,” Frank maneuvered him. “Say hi.”

  “Hi Hal.” Bob said.

  “Good Fucking God,” Hal wisped out. “There is something wrong with you.”

  “Me or Bob?”

  “Frank. …Excuse me for a second.” Hal turned.

  “Where you going?”

  “Out to calm down before I kill you. Excuse me.” Again, Hal turned around. When he did he leaned into Elliott who had his head down. “Stop laughing.” Saying no more, Hal stormed out.

  “Whoa.” Frank walked back to his desk. “I guess he didn’t think it was fun
ny.”

  Elliott took his seat. “Give it time. The captain is just a little... taken aback.”

  Bob’s head turned to Frank. “I don’t think he liked me.”

  *****

  Hal needed fresh air and a clear mind. He reminded himself that he was dealing with Frank and possibly, Frank was just joking with him. Still, he felt foolish, all that bantering about Bob.

  The insecurities, the feeling of being shafted.

  Hal could only image how badly Frank was going to torture him regarding it.

  Then again, it was possible that Frank wouldn’t even see the stupidity of it. After all, it was Frank.

  Outside, having a cigarette convincing himself that he really didn’t want to kill Frank, and that he would pay him back somehow, Hal saw Robbie walking his way.

  “Hey, Hal.”

  “Robbie.”

  “What are you doing outside?”

  “Calming down.”

  “The meeting didn’t even start yet.”

  “Yes, I realize this, but our brother already has me upset. He calls this morning, tells me about a new advisor he has, someone who thinks like Frank, and is helpful.”

  “A new advisor?” Robbie asked. “Military advisor.”

  “Oh, yes.”

  “Who?”

  “Bob.”

  “Who is Bob? You mean the guy from the future.”

  “No, it seems Bob is a ventriloquist’s dummy.”

  “Oh my God.” Robbie started to laugh.

  “I’m glad you find humor in it.”

  “I do. Because I can see you feeling slighted.”

  “I did,” Hal said. “Then I made a fool out of myself.”

  “If it makes you feel better, I bet you’re not the only one today he did that to.”

  “Thanks.” Hal sulked. “Shall we go in and wait for the others.”

  “Sounds good. After you. Pretty excited, the first meeting in the new office.”

  Hal opened the door and took a step. He stopped to say one more thing to Robbie and as he did, he felt the weight hit into him.

  “Good God.” Hal spun around.

  Robbie wasn’t near him.

  “Man you knocked me ten feet back, Hal.” Robbie said shaking his head.

  “I would imagine with how fast you hit into me.” Hal opened his mouth. “Shit.”

  “What?”

  “Something I wanted to tell you but forgot.”

  “It’ll come to you.”

  “Yes, I’m sure, after Frank and his meeting damages my brain.”

  “At least it’s not the brain flu.”

  With an ‘Hmm’, Hal walked in.

  ****

  The new office didn’t take long to be constructed and it was not only bigger, but also nicer.

  The front portion was reminiscent of Joe’s old office, only a meeting room was added to the back.

  There were waiting for three others to arrive, Jimmy, Danny and George.

  “Let’s go wait in the meeting room,” Robbie suggested.

  Frank shrugged. “Yeah, that will work. You want to leave a note?”

  “Ok.” Robbie grabbed paper.

  “Wait.” Hal reached out and stopped Robbie.

  “What?”

  “Why must you encourage his behavior?”

  “What’s he doing?”

  “Yeah,” Frank interjected. “What did I do?”

  “You want to write a note,” Hal said. “To who?”

  “Whom, you mean.”

  “Who,” Hal said.

  “Captain,” Elliott whispered. “I believe it is whom’’

  “Yes, let’s all pick on me.”

  “You started it.” Frank pointed. “What did I do?’

  “You want to write note.”

  “Yeah, so people know where we are. I don’t want them coming in here and thinking the meeting is over.”

  “Frank.”

  “What?”

  “The meeting room is right there,” Hal pointed. “Why not just leave the door open.”

  “To my office?”

  “No!” Hal blasted. “To the meeting room.”

  “Oh!” Frank snapped his finger. “That’s a good idea. No wonder you’re vice president.”

  “Yes, it amazes me what little qualification and brain power it takes to be a leader around here.” Hal stood up. “Let’s go in the other room.”

  Frank just stared.

  “Frank?”

  “Hal, remember I said I had to talk to you about something.”

  “Yes,”

  “Can we do that now? Please?”

  Hal, noticing the seriousness on his brother’s face, nodded. “Absolutely. Here?”

  “Outside.”

  “Sounds serious.”

  “Not really, it’s a rash.”

  “Ex... Excuse me?”

  “I want to show you a rash.” Frank twitched his head.

  “Would that rash go along with that tick you have developed?”

  “More than likely.”

  “Fine. Lt’s go look at your rash. Where would this rash be?”

  “I’d rather not say.”

  Hal cleared his throat. “Let’s go.”

  “Elliot, can you and Robbie get situated in the meeting room.”

  “Certainly, Frank.” Elliott stood. “Gentlemen.”

  Robbie followed Elliott.

  When alone, Hal asked. “What’s up?”

  Frank motioned his head toward the door. “Come on outside.” Frank opened the door and stepped out.

  “What’s going on?” Hal asked. “You obviously don’t have a rash.”

  “I might. You never know.”

  “Frank.”

  “Robbie.” Frank said. “I’m worried about him.”

  “In what way.”

  “He’s being different.”

  “I noticed that.”

  “What exactly did you notice?” Frank asked.

  “Just return to normal.”

  “Ah-huh, like getting over Dad’s death.”

  “Yes, exactly.”

  Frank grumbled.

  “What is it?”

  “First we have him digging up Dad’s grave to do a séance.”

  “I thought you saw nothing wrong with that.”

  “I didn’t, but now … now …” Frank looked back at the door. “Robbie is thinking Dad’s thoughts.”

  “Well, Frank, our father was a great man with great ideas of course …”

  “No, Hal, he’s thinking them as Dad.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “His thoughts sound as if they are Dad.”

  “Good Lord.”

  “I know. It’s fuckin odd.”

  “Tell me about it. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

  “I don’t know, you’re blocking your thoughts. What are you thinking?”

  “That Robbie may be trying to take on Dad’s personality to cover up for his loss and feelings of loss.”

  “Huh?”

  Frustrated, Hal replied. “He’s thinking he’s Dad to make up for missing him.”

  “Oh, that’s a good suggestion. But not what I’m worried about.”

  “What are you worried about Frank?”

  “Robbie was digging up Dad’s grave, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “He had a séance, right?”

  “Right.”

  “What if he conjured up Dad’s spirit and now he’s possessed.”

  Hal stared.

  “Hal?”

  “You’re retarded.” With that, Hal walked by Frank in the office.

  Danny Hoi arrived, seeming a bit disheveled, he blamed that on the brain virus, the paranoia of which seemed to be sweeping Beginnings.

  Everyone but George had arrived, including Jimmy who brought documents and maps and was posting them.

  George would be along shortly and advised Frank to begin and save the main stuff for last.

  For the meeting
Frank excused himself from the room and returned with Bob. “Ok,” Frank said. “Let’s start with this …”

  “What are you doing?” Hal asked.

  “Starting the meeting, George said …”

  “No.” Hal interrupted. “With the doll.”

  “What doll.”

  Bob leaned forward. “I thinking he’s talking about me.”

  “Isn’t he nice, Hal thinks you’re cute?”

  “Frank!” Hal yelled. “Get rid of Bob.”

  “Why? I told you he’s my new advisor.”

  “Frank, I refuse to have the meeting with that dummy attached to your arm.”

  “He’s not a dummy. He’s smart.”

  “I’m sure his IQ equals that of yours,” Hal said. “But you can’t have him here.”

  “Hal, you need to hear his thoughts on things.”

  “Good God.”

  “Watch.” Frank looked at Bob. “What do you think about Hal?”

  “I think he sucks.”

  Robbie laughed.

  ”What do you think about Robbie.”

  “He’s great.”

  “Stop it.” Hal stood. “Put down the doll, Frank. We know you are speaking for him, we can see your lips move.”

  “No you can’t.”

  “Yes I can!” Hal got angry. “Now put away the doll!”

  “Fine. Fuck. Yell at me, I’m just having fun.” Frank walked in the other room, when he disappeared; he stuck Bob through the door. “You suck Hal.”

  Hal plopped down in the seat.

  Robbie commented, “I like the doll.”

  “You would.”

  Frank returned. “Ok, now that I feel so lonely. Let’s begin. Let’s start with the virus. What do you have?” He looked at Danny.

  Danny passed him a sheet. “I can’t pronounce it. But it’s there. But it’s a non-airborne virus, testosterone bred that effects the brain.”

  Frank looked at the paper. “What the fuck?” he squinted at the sheet.

  Hal asked. “Does anyone else find this bizarre? A testosterone virus that affects the brain.”

  “Mo … Mo …” Frank shook his head.

  “I mean,” Hal continued. “It sounds made up. Like it’s a cover up for something.”

  Danny explained. “So far 45 men have it.”

  Frank spoke out loud. “Mo … du … oh, got it. Modula Oblongata Hypo…des…amentra…yachictitis. Yeah.”

  Robbie laughed. “Can you spell that word without looking? I mean, you shouldn’t say words unless you can spell them.”

  “Then our brother would never speak,” Hal said. “Let me see this paper.” He took it. “Modula Oblongata Hypodesamentrayachictitis. That doesn’t even sound real.”