Joe

by Jacqueline Druga

  Ellen perked up. “Joe loved Frank Sinatra.”

  Andrea squeezed her hand. “I have chills.”

  Like a Broadway show, eight Containment residents entered the stage in a chorus line manner. Four from each side of the altar. All wearing brown pants and a white button down shirt.

  “Good god.” Hal whispered.

  Then they began to sing.

  “Start spreading the news. We here all the way. We want to be a part of it, Joe Day, Joe Day. These white button shirts. Are cool and not gay. Tonight we’ll be boozing it, Joe Day Joe Day.”

  A resident stepped forward. “I want to wake up a Slagel that would be sweet!”

  Another resident, “To have Frank at my side. Robbie and Jim.

  “Andrea as a wife.”

  Ben sang flamboyantly. “And Hal at my feet.”

  Robbie and Frank burst out laughing.

  They sang a second verse and kicked into a dance that consisted of pulling up the pants by the belt, shaking the head, and rubbing the temples.

  They called it the Joe mannerism tango.

  There were a few comical lines, interactions between Joes, but the grand finale was the show stopper.

  Arnold, stepped forward for his spotlight moment.

  Andrea gasped out, her typical, “Sweet Jesus, he looks like Joe.”

  He paced about the stage, hands in pockets, did a brief monologue, and broke into a Sinatra’s My Life, with the words switched to ‘Oh Christ’, a song Ben wrote about Joe and Frank’s fights, and he finished off with an amazing My Way, where the entire cast joined on stage.

  A standing ovation ensued.

  What the hell was going on? Hal wondered. Was the entire community of Beginnings just insane or what? Andrea was out of control. She asked for autographs from the residents. Ben was working a deal with Danny Hoi to make the show a regular occurrence. The residents? They were the insane people, did no one realize that? Then again, everyone in Beginnings was insane.

  Andrea came to Hal for a huge embrace. “Wasn’t that the most touching thing?”

  “Yes, touching.”

  “I even saw George with tears in his eyes.”

  “Wow,” Hal said sarcastically.

  Frank asked. “What did you think?”

  “I think … I think I’m glad I’m not you.”

  “What do you mean?” Frank asked.

  “I need a drink, big brother.” Hal swiped out his hand to Frank’s arm and walked out of the church.

  Frank turned to Andrea. “What did he mean he’s glad he’s not me?”

  “It was an alcoholic dig, sweetie.”

  “That’s fucked up.” Frank, hands on hips nodded.

  “Yes, but you have other things to worry about.” Andrea paused. “Bob.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  The community telecast meeting would have been perfect, but Frank needed to work out the details of what he was going to do. Once he figured it out, he would use the telecast system to make the announcement. He had to put the Bob possession aside, and for that he locked him in a metal file cabinet. He figured even Satan would have a hard time getting out of there.

  He had some thinking to do.

  He didn’t think about it. Really, perhaps he was too busy. Truth was, Frank was too busy with his job to think about anything else, and he promised himself he would start.

  What prompted the phone call from Dean? Did he read something, hear something, probably not? Dean just missed those he loved and Frank didn’t blame him. He remembered when he was captured by the Society and was gone a month. He knew how much he missed his family. Why would Dean be any different?

  Dean wanted to come home.

  He wanted to leave the little house and come back to Beginnings. But there was a problem. Roy.

  Roy had been living in Beginnings as the new and revitalized Dean. People liked Roy, unlike Dean.

  But Dean’s life was Dean’s life. Not Roy’s.

  Therein lay the problem.

  Roy couldn’t go back, even with a working time machine, he couldn’t go back. Frank needed him as a navigator in the Great War. Not that Roy knew a lot, but he knew enough to let Frank know that they changed the course.

  So how to have Dean and Roy coincide was top on Frank’s mind.

  Not only that, how to explain to the community. Would Frank be honest? In doing that, Frank would have to tell the community that Roy had something to do with his father’s death. Even though Roy claimed he played no part.

  The community wouldn’t buy that.

  Frank needed Roy and Frank wanted his best friend back. And, the community needed Roy’s mind.

  He had to come up with something. Something brilliant, something buyable, something that would make everyone happy.

  Frank was confident he could do that.

  ****

  “Hal, go away.” That was what Robbie wanted to say when Hal followed him toward Danny’s special secret office at Danny Broadcasting. But Robbie didn’t, he smiled politely.

  “Anyhow, I thought I was going to have an aneurism,” Hal said. “When the one resident sang his song twice …”

  “Hal?”

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t you have a town to run?”

  “Excuse me?” Hal cocked back. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

  “No, no. I have things to do.”

  “I’ll join you.”

  Robbie looked over his shoulder at the DBS building. He exhaled. “Ok.’ And started walking in the other direction.

  “Whoa. Whoa. Wait.” Hal said. “I thought we were going to DBS?”

  “We are, but I forgot to something.”

  A few more steps, and Andrea came around the bend, she was walking briskly, and looked as if on a mission.

  When she called out. “There you are.” Robbie sighed in relief. “Sweet!” he thought. “I’ll dump Hal on her.”

  “Robbie. Hal.” Andrea caught her breath. “We have a slight family dilemma, and I wanted to make you aware.”

  “What’s going on?” Hal asked with concern.

  “Seems we need to come together and face a religious problem.”

  “Well,” Robbie reached out and slapped Hal on the back. “This one is all yours.” Robbie started to leave.

  “Not so fast.” Hal reached out and snatched him back.

  “Actually,” Andrea said. “Not that I don’t think Robbie can handle it. But you are so spiritually strong and you may be able to help Frank and I make the determination.”

  “Frank is involved?” Hal asked.

  “He discovered the dilemma.”

  Robbie saw it. Hal’s expression changed. If Frank discovered it, obviously it wasn’t anything normal.

  “What…?” Hal cleared his throat. “Is it?”

  “Bob,” Andrea said.

  “Bob the dummy?” Hal questioned.

  “Yes.”

  “I see.” Hal swiped his hand over his mouth. “Would this be his new found addiction to Bob and his inability to determine in the inanimate nature of Bob?”

  “No. More so with Bob’s possession.”

  “Bob … Bob …” Hal stuttered.

  “Bob.” Robbie interjected.

  “I know.” Hal snapped. “Bob’s possession. As that you mean Frank owning him.”

  “Oh, no.” Andrea waved out her hand? “Sweet Jesus, I wish it were that simple. No, Bob is possessed.”

  “Just to be clear,” Robbie said. “Are we talking Linda Blair Exorcist possessed?”

  Andrea shrugged. “It’s either a demon or Joe, we don’t know yet.”

  Another chuckle from Robbie. “You don’t know the difference.”

  “We don’t think it’s a demon because we took him to the church.”

  “Andrea,” Hal spoke reasonable. “Bob is not possessed.”

  “How can you be so sure?” Andrea asked.

  “Because there is no such thing as demonic possession.”

  “Hal,” Robbie a
dded. “She said she couldn’t determine if it was a demon or Dad.”

  “I don’t care,” Hal said dragged out. “There’s no such thing as demonic possession or fatherly possession. Frank has dragged you into his delusion.”

  “He has not.” Andrea was defensive. “I witnessed it.

  “You witnessed it?” Hal asked.

  “Yes, with the power of the Holy Spirit I felt it.” Andrea said with a raised hand.

  “Oh my God,” Hal closed his eyes.

  “If it helps,” Robbie said. “I believe in demonic possession and father possession.”

  “Thank you sweetheart.” Andrea pinched his cheek.

  “You know,” Robbie swiped a finger through the air. “You said you couldn’t make the determination. Have you thought about a séance?”

  “Oh, should we?”

  “No!” Hal barked. “No. This is utterly ridiculous. Andrea, the dummy is not possessed, and by dummy I mean Frank and or Bob.”

  “Well.” Andrea folded her arms in offence. “I know which son I can go to for support and which one I can’t.” She widened her eyes at Hal, and after one more huff, spun on her heels and stormed off.

  “Good Lord.”

  Robbie twitched his head toward a walking Andrea.

  “What?” Hal asked.

  “Go after her.”

  “No!”

  “Hal, she’s our mom. You made her mad. What kind of son do you want her to think you are?”

  “Fine. Fine.” Hal pointed at Robbie. “I’ll handle this. And you encouraged her.” He straightened himself, mumbled ‘Demonic possession’ and chased after Andrea.

  ****

  Joe was laughing, loudly too and that worried Robbie. He heard it the second he opened the door.

  “Dad. Shh.” Robbie placed his finger to his lips as he closed the door and locked.

  “Eh, we’re fine,” Joe said and caught that after laughter breath.

  Danny was sitting in a chair while Joe leaned against the desk attached to the wall. “We’re laughing about Joe Day.”

  “Oh, my God,” Robbie snickered. “Everyone was so serious. They asked if the Starters could learn that version of My Way.”

  “I was loved.” Joe smiled. “Even if it is by the mental patients.”

  “Speaking of mental patients,” Robbie said. “Have you heard the latest? For some odd reason Frank and Andrea are convinced Bob the Dummy is possessed. By the Devil or you.”

  Both Danny and Joe looked at each other.

  “Ah,” Robbie nodded. “I have a feeling you guys know why?”

  After another look at Danny, hands folded and draped on the side of his leg, Joe replied. “It’s my fault. He walked in while I was holding the dummy in the invisible suit and when Frank poked the dummy I said ‘Ow’.”

  Robbie laughed. He laughed hard. “So like you guys up for messing with Frank?”

  “Nah,” Joe said “That’s not fair.”

  “What did you have in mind?” Danny asked.

  Robbie grinned. “Just a little dummy demonic possession.”

  Joe shook his head. “No. No.” He smiled. “All right. What the hell.”

  “Sweet. Danny we’ll need your techno aspect.”

  “You got it. It’ll have to be either right after this meeting or tomorrow. Tonight I have the community broadcast and I’m announcing a new competition.”

  “Cool.” Robbie nodded. “What is it?”

  “I stole it from an idea in the old world. I’ll be posting the contestants for … Beginnings Most Smartest Hero.”

  “Christ,” Joe chuckled. “And you expect Frank in the running?”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  “This is great!” Robbie chimed. “Am I in it?”

  “Yep.”

  “I’m not gonna win,” Robbie said. “But if Hal and Frank compete it’ll be good.”

  “Oh, I am on it.”

  Joe couldn’t help but shake his head. “Christ Almighty, Frank in a smart contest? Hero yes, smart … smart.” He snapped a view at Robbie. “Oh my God, I just remembered. Do you?”

  “I forgot about that.” Robbie said,

  Danny snapped his fingers. “Guys? I’m here. I’m not a Slagel. What?”

  “Frank in a smart guy contest.”

  Joe reflected back.

  How Frank got to that point, Joe didn’t know. Frank was a good kid. Naive would have been a gentle term to describe his misunderstanding of situations. Dumb was harsh, but more truthful.

  So when Frank came home one day from school and stated he was taking the test for the Smart Guy High game show, the best Joe could do was be supportive. That and try not to pay attention when he studied. It was unnerving.

  Frank studied, and Joe really didn’t put into stock at all that Frank would get in.

  When Frank announced he was going to be on the show, Joe was convinced he was no less than a plant for comical relief.

  Joe’s girlfriend at the time, Emmie, showed how upset she was at Joe over his lack of confidence in Frank.

  “You never know, he may win,” Emmie said.

  “Yeah, right sure.”

  “Joe!”

  But Joe was proud. Frank got ready early and the car for the show picked him up. All Joe had to do was pack his boys and head to the television studio where he would get a first or second row seat to watch the game show.

  That was it, Joe knew. That was the start of Frank’s game show obsession.

  Frank auditioned and was on more game shows than any other person he knew. For some reason, the producers of game shows loved Frank. Maybe it was his gawky look, his hard headedness. Perhaps his goofy personality and enthusiasm. It certainly wasn’t smarts.

  He was on a show called ‘Press Your Luck’, where he had to hit a button, collect prizes and try not to let the light stop on the Whammy. If it stopped on the Whammy, you lost all prizes earned. Frank was fast on the button. His hand-eye coordination was second to none. But for some reason couldn’t comprehend that he wasn’t supposed to stop on the whammy.

  While the other contestants, during their turn chanted, ‘No whammy, no whammy stop.” And would cheer when landing on a cash prize or TV. Frank cheered, “Go whammy, Go whammy. Stop.” And screamed a big yes when it stopped on the whammy.

  The Price is Right was entertaining, that was the most Frank ever won. He was one of the first four called down.

  And every single time he was bidding on his opening bid, Frank bid one dollar.

  “We’re bidding on this wonderful set of Exercise bikes,” The announcer said.

  “Joyce what’s your bid?” The host asked.

  “One thousand.”

  “Bill.”

  “Twelve hundred.”

  “Frank?”

  “One Dollar, Jim.” Frank said.

  “Frank … usually it’s customary to bid a dollar when you’re the last person.”

  “I’m good with the bid, Jim. I have a strategy.”

  Jim the host went to the last person. “Scott?’

  Scott was snide. “Two dollars.”

  “You suck.” Frank told him.

  Eventually Frank was in prime position and his one dollar bet paid off. He won an entertainment center, which spawned an on stage debate on how he was going to get it and ship it home from California.

  He ended up selling it for half it’s worth to a man on base.

  When it came time to spin the wheel, Frank spun it so hard it was the longest recorded wait on a spin.

  He made it to the final round, but somehow didn’t understand that the one dollar bid probably wasn’t going to cut it.

  But the Smart Guy High. That preceded them all.

  Joe led the pack. Robbie, Hal, and Jimmy. Robbie was eleven, Hal had just celebrated his fourteenth birthday.

  “Say, Dad,” Hal stated as they walked toward the building. “Do you think one day I’ll get on the Smart Guy contest like Frank?”

  “I’m not so sure after this season a
nd after Frank, they’ll have it anymore.”

  “Why do you think that is, Huh Dad? Why?”

  “Hal.”

  “What?”

  “Quiet. You’re still punished for eavesdropping on people’s confessions.”

  “But Dad.”

  Joe kept walking.

  “Dad, I was only trying to get inspired as a writer.”

  Joe held tight to Robbie’s hand.

  “Dad?” Jimmy called out. “I’ve been studying with Frank. I think he’ll do well.”

  “Do you really believe that?”

  “Yeah. I do.”

  “I certainly hope so. I hate to see him embarrass himself when he doesn’t do well. Then again, will he notice?”

  “That was funny, that was funny that you said that,” Hal rambled. “This is so cool. Frank is gonna be famous, isn’t he Dad, huh?”

  “Hal.”

  “What.”

  “Quiet.”

  “Yes, Father, quiet, I’ll be quiet.”

  They arrived at the front of the studio, and after spitting on his fingers and fixing Robbie’s hair, Joe gave the family name to the guard.

  As expected they sat in the first row.

  Joe had to admit he was a little nervous and excited. He wished Emmie was there, but she wanted to watch it on television to get the full effect.

  His seat bounced some then Joe realized why, Robbie was kicking his legs.

  “Enough,” Joe reached down and stopped him by placing his hand on his knees.

  “Sorry, I’m nervous for Frank.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  Then Robbie did it. With that boyish look he still carried, he peered up so innocently to Joe and smiled. “It doesn’t matter if he wins, huh Dad? It’s just really cool that he’s here. Huh?’

  After a moment, Joe nodded and ran his hand over Robbie’s hair. “That’s right kiddo. That’s right.”

  Joe sat up a bit more proud and waited patiently for the show. He was going to be proud of Frank no matter how good or bad he did. Even with that stupid bow tie he sported.

  A reflective joy was across Joe’s face. He genuinely thought who needed a time machine when memories were so vivid.

  “Did he win or did he lose?” Danny asked.

  “Oh, he lost, He lost badly. Actually, he pulled a Cindy Brady and suffered from stage fright.”