Roller Coaster

by Karin Kallmaker

  The ramp where she was led switched back upward, then joined with the regular gangplank with its own line. She could feel the curious gaze of the other passengers on her as she walked by them. It was rather like a red carpet walk.

  Her guide explained, "Proceed to the top and show your papers, and a steward will take you to your cabin so you can relax. Your bags should be delivered in an hour or less. Happy sailing!"

  She had scarcely expressed her thanks before the woman made a similar foray into the crowd to guide two more people in her direction. They looked familiar, as if she'd seen them on television on an awards show, but she didn't know their names.

  Every step up the ramp left the diesel and hot asphalt stink behind. By the time she reached the deck, forty or fifty feet above the dock, she was in a world paved with wood, gleaming with brass fittings and brilliant with men and women in white uniforms.

  She was greeted by two assistant pursers who checked her travel documents and wished her a wonderful journey. She was then passed into the care of a harried-looking young woman in a suit who spoke rapidly into a walkie-talkie upon hearing Helen's name. A few seconds later two heavy wooden doors just beyond them opened.

  Bemused by the arrival of yet another person who would no doubt wish her a pleasant journey before leaving her in yet another waiting pattern, she was pleased that the new arrival, a brunette about her age, beamed a smile and extended her hand.

  "Helen Baynor? Karolina Tavitian. Welcome aboard. I'm glad the directions I sent have delivered you safely." Her designer-cut white slacks and off-the-shoulder top of deep orange set off olive and gold skin and thick, dark hair.

  "It's wonderful to be here." She returned the brilliant smile, immediately feeling at ease.

  "Do you want to go to your cabin to freshen up? Or join me for a cocktail?"

  "Cocktail," Helen said firmly.

  "I love a woman who knows her mind." Karolina's cute sandals clicked on the deck as she led the way to the heavy double doors, which she opened with ease and gestured for Helen to precede her. "There's a hospitality bar set up right in here. Our little green room, so to speak. How was your flight?"

  "Fine. Flawless, in fact." To the bartender she said, "A mojito, perhaps?"

  "Now you're on vacation," Karolina said. She indicated her own glass with a graceful wave of her hand. "Mario here makes a spiffy mojito."

  There was a short awkward silence, into which Helen said, "Thank you for all you did to get me here. I know it was all last minute-and I wasn't a first choice, so I can only imagine the logistics on your end."

  "It's my job, and it means I get to meet truly interesting people and see a lot of the world. I can put up with a lot of last-minute arrangements in exchange for that. Between you and me..." She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "I think our contributors got a better deal with you here. The first choice has name recognition but..." She shrugged. "She's a name. You're a star."

  Helen smiled. "In others words, she's twenty-five and I'm...older than that."

  Karolina lifted a sculpted eyebrow. "Not what I meant at all."

  "Then shame on me for hearing it. I can't seem to help it-one of the big milestone birthdays happens the day after I get home."

  "I wish you many more of them."

  Mint tingling at her nose heralded the arrival of her mojito. After thanking the bartender, she quickly surveyed the room. Without thinking better of it, Helen said, "Oh no."

  "What?" Karolina turned her head to follow Helen's gaze. She looked back at Helen. "Is that a problem?"

  "It could be-my problem, not yours." Just when she'd started to feel as if she could relax she had Eugene Masterson to deal with.

  "It is." Karolina touched her arm lightly. "Is he an ex or something? We actually check backgrounds so we don't book people together on these jaunts that have any reason to be uncomfortable."

  "Not an ex-I don't have any of those. Let's just say that I've exhausted a lady's ways of putting out the No sign and he's been persistently blind to them."

  "Now I'm really sorry. His bank paid quite a fee to sponsor some time ago, but he only joined the guest list last week."

  "After you announced-"

  "-That you would be joining us." Karolina briefly bit her lower lip, though the rest of her lively face was schooled into a pleasant, welcoming expression. "Well, tonight you and he are both at the Captain's Table. But I'll adjust the name cards. It's a long table."

  "I keep telling myself that he's a fan and certainly a man in his position is a viable suitor." She wondered if she ought to be adding stalker to her description of him. "But he's not my type. Just for starters."

  Karolina's nod was understanding. "What is your type? What happens on a cruise stays on a cruise, after all."

  "It's been so long since I've dated I'm not sure what it is. But I guess I'm pretty sure what it isn't. What about you?"

  "He's not my type either," she answered. "Wrong gender, to start with." Her gaze searched Helen's face for a reaction.

  "Poor fellow. I'm quite sure he wouldn't want to undergo any of the measures that would fix that."

  "Me too." Karolina relaxed slightly. "Even if he was, still not my type."

  Helen was glad she'd put Karolina at ease about her sexuality without having to resort to the trite, "Some of my best friends..." It pained her that gay people had to carry around that small measure of armor, always ready for rejection. It reminded her of the interview with Laura and how forthright Laura had been as well. She shook the image of Laura kissing her girlfriend from her mind. "He'd find that frustrating, I'm sure."

  She stirred her drink and flashed Helen a twinkling look. "The kind of guy who is sure he could fix me?"

  "I don't know about that," Helen said fairly. Maybe the mojito was responsible because she found herself adding, "But if he thought we were an item, he's probably the type to want to watch."

  Karolina said, "Eww," and burst out laughing as Helen giggled into her glass.

  Their merriment unfortunately caught the subject's attention. Eugene Masterson broke into a smile. Crossing the room with a wide-armed gesture that was designed to draw attention, he boomed, "Helen! A pleasure to see you again!"

  Air kisses ensued. As before, he continued to stand a little too close and Helen was excruciatingly aware that there was no curtain bell to call her to safety. She was grateful that Karolina didn't leave, even when Eugene shifted his posture several times, in subtle ways, to turn their threesome into a twosome. Helen wasn't at all convinced he was doing it unconsciously.

  "This will be a wonderful week-are you looking forward to snorkeling? The shore excursion to the Bitari Resort on Grand Cayman sounds wonderful, doesn't it?"

  "I haven't had a chance to read up on any of that," Helen lied. Avoiding him was going to be difficult, damn it. "This was all very rush. In fact, I haven't had a chance to freshen up."

  She slid off the bar stool as Karolina quickly made room for her to exit.

  "I'll see you at dinner," Karolina said. Her light touch on Helen's arm lingered longer than normal and the mirth in her eyes was unmistakable.

  "I'm looking forward to it." Helen gave her a slow smile with a hint of a wink, feeling wicked, then said brightly to Eugene, "I hope you have a lovely vacation this week."

  She made a quick exit to the deck and walked briskly, just as if she had a clue where her cabin might be. She ducked through the first set of doors she came to, somewhere mid-ship, and ran right into a cluster of white-suited personnel who immediately directed her, in a chorus of melodious accents, to the nearest stairwell along with explicit directions to her suite.

  Even as she approached her door she was greeted by the steward-Jeffrey, were they all named Jeffrey, she wondered-assigned to her suite. He took time explaining her dining choices, how to arrange for in-suite food service and laundry, pointed out useful features of the shipboard shower, then asked what she would like stocked in her minibar. He left her with a little plate of chocolate
s.

  The door finally closed. All alone, she stared in amazement at the spacious suite. There was a huge television, but with the beautiful ocean just beyond the large, shaded balcony, who would watch television? She peeked into all the drawers and decided how to unpack and organize. Jeffrey responded immediately to a press of the button he'd encouraged her to use and headed away with her dresses for a quick touch-up with an iron.

  She finished unpacking and checked her watch. They should be setting sail very soon. Should she watch from her balcony? She wished the kids weren't in classes or she'd call to describe her stateroom. She satisfied herself by sending them a couple of photos from her phone.

  It was the strangest feeling to have no plan. She had to appear tomorrow, Sunday and Thursday. Friday they returned to Miami. Tonight she was requested at the Captain's Table, but other than that she could do as she liked.

  Once she figured out what that was, she was sure she'd have a good time.

  Helpful Jeffrey told her that it was expected for guests to dress for the Captain's Table but nothing formal. She had brought one full-length gown and several cocktail dresses, now all beautifully pressed. Little black dress number one was perfect. Karolina was a willowy, elegant woman and she wanted to be sure to measure up to her expectations.

  She joined the reception and was quickly handed a glass of white wine by a passing waiter effortlessly balancing a tray of stemmed glassware in spite of the rolling motion of the floor. She sipped and looked for Karolina, not immediately seeing her in the crowd. The vaguely familiar couple she'd spotted on the dock earlier were there. She hoped someone told her their names before it became clear she hadn't a clue.

  "A beautiful woman like you should never enter a room unescorted," someone said in her ear.

  She knew who it was before she turned and kept a polite smile. "Thank you. I was looking for Karolina."

  Eugene's smiled with a shrug. "I haven't seen her. I'm sure she's very busy with many guests to talk to. This is quite an undertaking."

  "And for a good cause. I was honored to be asked. And thank you for your bank's support."

  "It's one of many charities we support."

  He opened his mouth to say more when Karolina emerged from a cluster of people, greeting them both with a smile. "Good evening. Mr. Masterson, you look dashing."

  "Eugene, please."

  "And Helen, I want to know who made that dress."

  "I'll tell-but only if you tell me your tailor's name as well." The yellow sheath was stunning-it almost screamed Chanel couture, but the beadwork on the left shoulder was someone else's work entirely. It showed off her petite frame and highlighted her lovely tan. In the low light of the reception her eyes deepened from brown to black and glittered as brightly as the topaz pendant she wore. Her thick hair was twisted in an elegant, looped braid and brushed at her shoulders when she turned her head. All in all, she had the stunning grasp of classic elegance that came with long and steady acquaintance with both money and wealthy people.

  "I'd like you both to meet the Havens, two of our other stars for the week," Karolina was saying. She drew them across the room with a gesture at Eugene and the light touch of a hand on Helen's arm.

  The Havens, of course-a husband and wife director/producer duo. She knew their names far better than their faces. Independent movies with a film company based out of Texas, she recalled. Karolina then brought over an actress who had been in the past summer's action blockbuster, which Helen hadn't seen, and an actor she'd met a few times at gatherings, but had never worked with on the stage.

  Introductions were made and Helen managed to angle herself around the small group so that Eugene was on the other side of Karolina. The captain stopped briefly to welcome all of them to his ship, then the doors of the small room were opened so that they could move into the large, main dining room. Other diners had already been seated at the many tables, and they made their way en masse to the center table, on a dais, which was already set with endive salads. Part of Helen wanted to gawk and take a picture to show the kids but she instead searched for her name on a card, finding it above the salt, so to speak, but several chairs down from the head of the table. The captain was flanked by Eugene Masterson on one side and the Havens on the other. Next to Eugene was a vivacious young woman Helen hadn't met, then Karolina, then her. With luck, she wouldn't even make eye contact with him.

  Introductions were made and service began. She introduced herself to the woman on the other side of her, only to learn she spoke little English, but they politely mimed greetings and clinked glasses when the captain offered a toast in sketchy English and his native Norwegian for a wonderful journey.

  "What are you thinking?" Karolina asked her, after congenial small talk with their nearby tablemates over their salads.

  "That I work nights and so this is probably the first dinner party I've been to in...two years. I don't entertain at home, which I'm thinking is actually a real shame."

  "Why not? I think you'd be a wonderful hostess."

  "Attention span." She explained about her schedule, the kids and airplanes. "I want to give them enough of me and I have to say they're turning out okay, I think."

  "That's a relief these days."

  "Do you have kids?"

  "Never thought about it."

  Karolina leaned back in her seat to allow the waiter to set a plate in front of her. Helen did the same and realized she was actually very hungry. The sea bass with leeks and fingerling potatoes smelled wonderful and she suddenly wanted to describe it to Laura.

  Thinking Karolina had found the question too personal, she mimed with the woman on her right about the wonderful food and discussed the trip itinerary with the Head Purser, who was seated directly across from her. She was surprised, therefore, when Karolina returned to the subject.

  "I'm far too selfish for children," Karolina said. "Selfish enough that I knew I didn't want to do it by myself. And since I had a flawless birth control plan, I was able to avoid it."

  Helen grinned. "I'm glad that worked out for you. More women should try it maybe."

  "I've done my best to convince as many as possible." Karolina gave her a wicked look.

  She laughed outright. "With how much success?"

  "That would be indiscreet. But enough to keep my credentials in order."

  "My best friend, Cass, refers to it as her toaster oven collection."

  "I opted for frequent flyer miles."

  "I'm drowning in those, for different reasons-I ended up donating them all to Make-a-Wish."

  "They do wonderful work." Karolina paused to throw some laughing comment into the conversation on her other side. "I'll be shameless and ask if you know anyone on the board. I'd like to do fundraising for them."

  "I used to know two, but they both retired a couple of years ago."

  "Drats. I was shameless for nothing."

  "Sorry about that."

  Karolina's eyes sparkled with humor. "You don't sound sorry."

  "It didn't seem that shameless to me."

  "Talking business at the Captain's Table? Oh, the horror."

  "You'll have to do better than that for genuine shameless behavior."

  "Would you like me to?"

  Helen blinked. There was a tight and unfamiliar sensation in her chest. "It's not up to me."

  Karolina looked as if she was going to say that it was, but abruptly sipped her wine.

  It was just fun conversation, Helen thought. Small talk again ensued. There was a brief moment of worry that Eugene would join her after dinner, but the young woman Karolina had seated next to him had a firm grasp of his arm.

  She sighed with relief and said to Karolina, "The idea of sitting in a lounge for an hour, after a meal like that, is the last thing on my mind. Would you like to explore the decks a little bit or do you need to spend time with some of your VIPs?"

  "I'd love a walk," Karolina said. "I try to avoid desserts but that torte was beguiling."

  They took th
eir leave of the captain and she followed Karolina to the wide central atrium. Pausing to look at the stairwell map, Karolina pointed out the promenade and the deck below where it was possible to circle the entire ship. "It's marked in tenths of a mile for those interested in exercise, though I can't imagine coming on a vacation like this and spending time in the fitness room."

  "I'll have to," Helen said. "It's the part of the job I never get to stop." What a dreary outlook, she told herself.

  "You won't be seeing me there, sorry."

  "You look like you visit often."

  "Thank you, that's sweet. I should go, but I don't. I walk everywhere that I can, avoid sugar and hope for the best."

  Karolina's best had few flaws that Helen could see. She'd been surrounded all her life by beautiful women of all ages, sizes and personalities, and Karolina could probably hold her own with most. She was, perhaps, a bit thinner in the shoulders than someone fixated on classic proportions might like, and she had a cast to her nose that would do a statue in the Parthenon proud, but her features and bearing were, in a word, arresting. Few would forget meeting her.

  "One of the things about being an actress that I understood early on is that our talent is useless without a body. All the role empathy, vocal nuance and charisma in the world means nothing if I can't perform. I never took up smoking or any vices for that matter, and I think when I had enough fame and might have been surrounded with temptation, I had two babies."

  "I'm afraid I don't know much about your bio off the stage." They stepped over the threshold of the main doors to the deck. "It's warm out here."

  "It feels wonderful. It's very much fall in New York."

  "Same in Chicago. I'm glad I decided against a sweater, even though the dining rooms are always frigid."

  The warmth made Helen's bones feel loose and easy, or was it the wine? It had only been a glass-but she felt half-melted. The deck lights sent streamers of yellow along the polished golden deck and the faraway thrum of the engines was almost completely lost by the sound of rushing water as the ship sliced through the waves.