Cockpit

by Joanna Blake

  "Perfect little Rosie. Sure to make an excellent match while her slutty cousin Rebecca is only good for a quick tumble. But now she's broke and I still have my trust. I have loads of money for things like... well, paying you."

  She smiled at me, toasting me with her champagne.

  "I just thought I would use it to even the playing field a bit."

  "What do you mean she's broke?"

  She smiled at me, her red lips glistening.

  "The family coffers are empty. She has no idea as far as I know. I only know because I'm shagging the family lawyer. He's got quite a filthy streak in him. You would be surprised."

  She shrugged gracefully.

  "It's just a bit of harmless fun really. It's my money. I wanted to give my cousin a little coming out present. You."

  I shook my head.

  "That's twisted. She never did anything to you."

  She laughed, the sound bitter and angry.

  "She's been a symbol of my failure my entire life. Now she's going to be dragged through the mud, just like I was. I can't wait to see my mother's face. I just needed to make sure someone saw you together."

  She offered me another drink. I shook my head, my thoughts racing.

  "Of course, I paid the hotel concierge, busboys, room service, and a photographer to follow you around for weeks. So I have that covered."

  My gut clenched. She was going to do it. She had used me to destroy Rosie.

  "Don't. Don't do that to her."

  She tilted her head at me.

  "It's too late. It's done."

  I carefully set my drink down so I wouldn't throw it at her. Then I turned and walked out of the parlor.

  Rebecca's gleeful voice followed me as I stormed past her butler to the front door.

  "If you are looking for her she'll be at the Fulsome's Gala I imagine. Everyone will be there!"

  But I wasn't going to find Rosie. I was going to find a deep, dark hole and crawl into it, hopefully with a bottle of bourbon.

  The last thing I heard was her cackling like a she devil.

  Rosalie

  I stood there, dressed in an extravagant emerald green ball gown. I'd never looked better. A hairdresser and makeup artist had been called to the house.

  I should have felt beautiful.

  Instead I felt numb.

  I hadn't heard from Nico all day. Not since he dropped me off early that morning, whispering love words in my ear. Now I was here, and my parents and grandmother were very, very angry with me.

  I'd never done anything wrong before. So this was an entirely new experience for me. Being the bad girl.

  I didn't much like it.

  Actually, it rather 'pissed me off,' as Nick would say. I clenched my fist, letting the pain of my nails scraping my palm keep me from screaming.

  All day I'd been questioned and harangued. Spoken to like a child. A stupid, ignorant child. I was told that I was risking everything. My reputation. My future.

  My answer was simple. It was mine to risk. I'd told them proudly that Nicholas was worth it.

  That hadn't gone over too well.

  I wished I could go back in time to the cottage by the sea. It seemed so very far away from this world. I realized for the first time that I didn't just dislike these high society events.

  I hated them.

  I let my mind wander, transporting me out of the sparkling ballroom. I could still feel Nico's hands on me. His mouth. His body.

  He loved me. And I loved him. We'd said the words. Our future was going to be together, no matter what my parents had to say about it. Not even my Grandmother the Duchess could sway me.

  Nico loved me.

  It was the only thing that was keeping me from falling apart right now. I pulled my phone from the ridiculously tiny handbag my mother had insisted I carry. It had no room for anything other than a phone and lipstick. And money presumably.

  I'd put every cent I had in it. Bank cards. Credit cards. ID. Just in case.

  I was seriously thinking about running.

  But if I couldn't get ahold of Nico, where would I be running to?

  My Grandmother stood by my side, introducing me to people. I shook hands and bowed my head to people of superior rank. I did what was expected without having to think about it. I was on auto pilot.

  I certainly wasn't making an effort though, no matter how badly they seemed to want to introduce me to every unmarried, titled man in the room.

  "You certainly won't win anyone over with that sour look on your face."

  My Grandmother had a way with words. I looked at her woodenly as she tried to glare me into submission. Another man was being led over to us by my father. But I couldn't stay another minute. I was going to scream if I did.

  "Excuse me."

  I turned tail and ran.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Nicholas

  I sat at the hotel bar, my head in my hands. I had worked my way through six bourbons so far. I wasn't even close to being drunk enough.

  I doubted that I ever would be.

  My whole life was suddenly clear to me. The wasted years. The distractions. The meaningless sex.

  Not one of those women had cared about me. Not even a little bit. I was meat to them. Just a cock with a man attached. Nothing.

  Not until Rosie.

  She did more than care. She saw things in me I hadn't seen in myself. I knew I would never be the same after meeting her. Knowing her. Loving her.

  And I did love her. It wasn't just a word. I loved her so much that it was tearing me apart.

  Never mind what I was about to do to her. I closed my eyes, willing myself to erase the knowledge of what I had to. Just for a second.

  Oh yes, I needed to get much, much drunker.

  I lifted my finger and the bartender walked over.

  "Fresh ice?"

  I shook my head. Ice was a luxury I did not deserve. I just wanted to be numb.

  I would have to be numb for what I was about to do.

  I was going to tell her everything.

  She would hate me. But it was no more than I deserved. Even though it would destroy us both.

  And I owed her the truth at least.

  But not yet. I wasn't ready yet. I watched the bartender fill my glass.

  "Make it a double."

  I was ignoring her texts. I had no idea what to say to her. What could I say to her? I was responsible for ruining her life.

  Even worse, I'd made her love me in the process.

  This wasn't just going to hurt her. It was going to change her. Open her eyes to the cruelty of the world. Her sweet, trusting, idealistic world view was about to get shattered.

  I had taken everything she had and now she would have nothing. Not even her innocence. Or her crusty old house apparently. A marriage would have saved all that for her. But I'd taken that from her as well.

  And I was going to spend the rest of my life regretting it.

  She'd given me something I could hold onto though. She'd changed me for the better. I wasn't going back to escorting. I couldn't. Not after I'd seen the damage it could do.

  "Nico?"

  I lifted my head and looked to the side. I thought I was imagining things. Hearing the voice of my tormentor in my mind. But no, she was actually here.

  Rosie was standing in the entrance to the hotel bar in a ball gown, looking like a fairy tale princess.

  So beautiful it almost hurt.

  I closed my eyes.

  "You shouldn't be here."

  "I don't understand. Why shouldn't I be here Nico?"

  She stepped forward, a hurt expression on her beautiful face.

  "Did I do something wrong?"

  I cursed, jerking away when she reached for me.

  "Damn it Rosie, I don't want anyone to see us!"

  That did it.

  Her face crumbled. Tears sprang into her eyes. For one second neither of us moved. I don't think we took a breath.

  Then she turned away from
me and ran. I knew I should let her go. To get as far away from me as possible.

  But I couldn't. Not yet.

  I threw some money on the bar and went after her.

  Rosalie

  I ran. I ran through the streets of London in a ball gown. I was sure I looked ridiculous. It was starting to drizzle but I didn't care.

  Maybe it would hide the tears streaming down my face.

  I just needed to get away. Away from my parents. From the ball.

  From him.

  Nicholas didn't want to be seen with me. That's why he had taken me out of the club. Out of London. He didn't want people to know about us. Know we loved each other. I shook my head, willing the thoughts to stop.

  He might be married. Or have a girlfriend. He might just be ashamed of me.

  "Rosie!"

  I tried to run faster but my shoes made it so hard. I felt myself start to stumble as my heel caught in a crack in the sidewalk. I went flying. I saw the pavement coming up to meet me.

  But I never hit the ground.

  The next thing I knew I was enveloped in big strong arms. Nicholas was staring down at me, his eyes cold and hard. He didn't look loving and kind.

  He looked furious.

  Put out. I'd put him out by showing up at the hotel. He didn't want to be here, anymore than I did.

  "Are you hurt?"

  I shook my head.

  "Let go of me. I... I don't want to talk to you!"

  He laughed, his hands gripping me tightly. He wasn't being gentle as he held me immobile. He shook his head slowly.

  "Where do you think you are going?"

  "I don't know! Far away from you!"

  He didn't do anything. He just stared at me. Then his hand came up and stroked my cheek.

  "Rosie... my sweet, innocent Rosie..."

  I looked at him closely. His eyes were a bit glazed. He looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

  "Nico... You're scaring me. Are you foxed?"

  He laughed and I smelled it then. He was foxed. He didn't release me though. I pushed against his chest but it was futile. It was like pushing against a brick wall.

  Finally, I realized what he was doing.

  He was staring at me like he wanted to memorize the way I looked.

  He was about to break up with me.

  "Let's go somewhere we can talk."

  He turned, his arm holding me tightly against his side as he walked. I dragged my heels but he just laughed, pulling me along like I was a puppy on a leash.

  "Why? So you can tell me you are married? Is that why you don't want to be seen with me?"

  He laughed again. He sounded like he was mad. Actually insane.

  "I'm not married sweetheart. It's much, much worse than that."

  He didn't say another word as he dragged me back towards the hotel.

  I was silent as he pulled me down an alley that ran along the side of the hotel. There was a back entrance to the kitchen there. We walked through the smell of food and bustling workers. Nick handed one of them some folded bills.

  "Service elevator?"

  The cook jerked his head and we followed him. Well, Nick followed him. I was just dragged along behind him. I could have screamed. But the way he was acting... I was starting to be more worried for him than for me.

  I knew he wouldn't hurt me. But something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

  We rode the elevator in silence. By the time we reached his hotel room I was shaking from being cold and wet. And scared out of my mind. Let's not forget that.

  Utter terror. Not for my physical well being. For my heart.

  I had a terrible certainty he was about to break it.

  He opened the door to his hotel room and dragged me inside like a caveman.

  Nicholas closed the door behind us. When he finally looked at me, his eyes were full of anguish.

  "There's something I have to tell you Rosie. You aren't going to like it. You aren't going to like me."

  I shook my head.

  "Not possible."

  He smiled wryly.

  "Trust me Rosie, it's possible."

  I took his hand.

  "Tell me."

  He shook his head, pulling away. He walked over to the bar and poured himself a drink. Then he looked at me and very deliberately pulled out his phone. Then he pulled out another. He drank while I stared at him, realization starting to dawn.

  Nicholas was not who he seemed to be.

  "Nico, why do you have two phones?"

  Chapter Sixteen

  Nicholas

  "What is going on Nico?"

  I shook my head, finishing my drink quickly. I didn't offer her one. There wasn't time.

  "I will tell you. After."

  Rosie stood there, shivering. I wanted to warm her, to comfort her. I should get her out of those wet clothes. But I didn't want to wait.

  "Come here."

  She was so beautiful, so elegant, I didn't feel like I even had the right to touch her. But I wanted to. And she wanted it too. She walked towards me. Right into my arms.

  To hell with it.

  I pulled her against me, crushing the full skirt of her dress. My lips were all over hers. My hands held her hard against me, as close as I could get.

  "I want you Rosie... please let me..."

  She nodded shakily and my hands found their way under her skirt. I pulled her panties away roughly and started to toy with her soft folds. Her head fell back and I kissed the graceful arch of her throat.

  I tore the top of her dress off her shoulders. It ripped, making an ugly tearing sound. I groaned as her breasts sprang free. I feasted on them all the while fingering her gently. Making sure she was ready.

  I grunted as my fingers became slippery.

  "I can't wait."

  I pulled my cock free of my pants and guided it home. She was home to me now. I wanted to visit it one last time before she told me to go to hell.

  I closed my eyes as her body welcomed me in, holding me snugly. This feeling. This warmth and silky smooth flesh. This was something I wanted to remember for the rest of my life.

  Slowly, I started to fuck her, standing up and fully clothed in the middle of the hotel room. Her eyes were on mine as we rocked in place.

  I grunted, using my hands to lift and lower her slender body onto my shaft. It felt so good. I knew I wasn't going to last long. Even as drunk as I was.

  "Nico..."

  "I'm going to cum. I'm sorry. It feels too good."

  But she was coming too. It sent me over the edge, making me pump up and into her faster and faster. I had wanted to make it count. To put off the inevitable. But my body took over.

  "Unfffff..."

  I held her firmly against me as my cock jetted thick ropes of cum all the way inside her. It was stupid, I know. But I still couldn't help myself. The urge to impregnate her was pure animal instinct. And it was so intense that it took over.

  Every time.

  I was still inside her when I finally said the words.

  "I do this. This is what I do. For money."

  Her eyes were still glazed with passion when she blinked at me. Her arms still around my neck. My cock still deep within her.

  "What?"

  "I have sex with wealthy women for money. I'm an escort."

  I pulled out of her, lowering her skirt into place. I tried to pull her dress up but I had torn it too badly. I frowned, trying to make it stay up. Trying to cover her.

  "I was an escort anyway. I'm done with it now."

  "I don't understand."

  I was afraid to look at her, so I looked at the floor. I tucked my cock back into my pants and walked back to the bar for another drink. I could feel her eyes on my back. I could sense her confusion. I closed my eyes.

  It was time to face the music.

  I picked up my phones. I held one up.

  "Personal."

  Then I held up the other one.

  "Professional."

  I didn't tell her which catego
ry she fell under. I wasn't sure I had the courage to do that yet. Or ever.

  I swallowed my drink and poured another.

  "Do you want one?"

  She didn't say anything. She just stared at me.

  "You could be anything. Why?"

  I laughed bitterly.

  "It started by accident. I was just out of high school. Thinking about trying to get into a culinary program. It was so expensive though, and we didn't have enough to make ends meet at home."

  She waited, not judging me. Letting me talk.

  "I was in a bar with some friends. I bussed tables there sometimes. I met a woman- older- wealthy. She picked me up. I went home with her to her house in Beverly Hills. I'd never seen anything like that. Known people lived that way."

  I stared at Rosie's beautiful face.

  "We were poor Rosie. We were on food stamps. And even that wasn't enough."

  I could see sympathy in her eyes, not judgment. I was painting it wrong. I had to make her understand. To make her see me for what I really was.

  "She taught me things. She was good to me, in a way. And when she dropped me off the next day, she handed me an envelope."

  I shrugged.

  "After that it became a regular thing. She told one of her friends about me. It just happened."

  I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. Rosie still didn't get it. She didn't understand that this was about her.

  "I wasn't hurting anyone. Not until now."

  I stared at her, hoping she would see.

  "I never wanted to hurt you Rosie."

  She nodded.

  "I believe you."

  She took a deep breath.

  "I don't care what you did. As long as you aren't doing it anymore."

  My stomach flip flopped as I finally looked at her in the eyes. She was willing to give me a second chance. She was willing to forgive me.

  And I had to squash it. I forced myself to look at her when I told her. When I destroyed her love for me.

  "Rosie... that's just the thing. I was hired to be here. With you."

  Her mouth dropped open. Her eyes were wide.

  "What? You mean tonight?"

  I shook my head slowly. This was it. There was no turning back now. But I couldn't lie.