Rock Revenge: Alex's Story (Access All Areas Book 4)

by Candy J. Starr

  What did I want more? A music career or Dee? The way things were going, I’d have neither.

  Dee

  “I’ve got us a new rehearsal place,” I told Pete.

  Pete had his back to me, making toast for his breakfast but I could tell by the set of his shoulders, he’d argue against it.

  “What’s wrong with the place we have?”

  “You know as well as I do. We can’t live off Alex. I’m not accepting his handouts anymore.”

  “You’re a fool, Dee. Just take it. It’s better than us having to pay out a fortune to do things on our own.”

  “You think?”

  “Yes, I do.” He turned to face me. “And it’s not like you’re above living in the apartment he gave us.”

  Then his gaze fell to the bag at my feet.

  “Actually, I’m moving out. I can’t live here anymore. It was a stupid idea, accepting all this. Sally has a spare room and I’m heading over there after work.”

  Pete shrugged. “Well, if that’s the way it’s going to be. I might take over your room. It’s bigger than mine.”

  That was Pete. The longer he was away from home, the harder he’d gotten.

  “How much is the new rehearsal studio going to be?”

  “Not a helluva lot. It’s a bit out of the centre.” I wrote the details down on a slip of paper.

  “It’s going to be a pain in the arse to get to.”

  “Well, that’s the way it’s got to be. I can’t keep going like this. I have my pride.”

  I hadn’t told Pete but Sally was planning to move overseas. I was going to take over her lease. I could afford the rent, just, on my salary from the clothes shop, and it’d be a place of my own. I was pretty excited about it. But no one knew of Sally’s plans. She wanted to keep it a surprise from Alex. A nasty surprise.

  “He’s got the Summer Rock Festival tour starting next month. I’ll tell him the day before I leave. That will put him slap bang in the middle of Shit Creek.”

  I wasn’t sure that was the best way for her to deal with this but it was her life. We met up later for coffee and for her to give me a key to the apartment.

  “So, what about you?” she asked.

  “I’m fine. Coping with things.”

  “I mean, how is the revenge going?”

  “Terrible. I just want to get out from under his thumb. Maybe move towns. I could come overseas with you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Then who’d I sublet my apartment to? I’ve got a better idea. You know how I was telling you about going him for the song royalties… well, I did some snooping and I found out that the dude he’s dealing with at the music company is Matt. I have Matt’s phone number.”

  She handed me a slip of paper and grinned.

  “How did you find that out?”

  “People leave things lying around. Like their phones when they go to the bathroom. A bit silly really.”

  I wasn’t that impressed with the ethics of that and made a mental note not leave anything personal around the apartment until Sally left. Like notebooks with Alex’s name in love hearts and pretty patterns around it. Not that I’d do anything so childish.

  “This would wreck him? Carlie said it’d be a real bitch fight to get the rights off him, especially since they are loaded and I have zero bucks for a lawyer.”

  “Listen, you don’t have to even go to court. Just give that guy a call and tell him you want Alex to stop stealing other people’s music. You could even go online, on forums and shit and tell the world. But I don’t think you have the stomach for that. Better just to give our buddy, Matt, here a call and tell him the new golden boy he’s signed is actually a big, fat song stealer. Sow enough seeds of doubt and you’ll damage him forever.”

  I folded up the paper and slipped it inside my wallet.

  Alex

  Drew had just finished his guitar lesson with Jackson and the two of them came down to the bar.

  “Why are you looking so miserable?” Drew asked me.

  “Because I just heard you rehearsing,” I said.

  That was mean but Drew gave me the shits. He probed around too much into things that didn’t concern him.

  “No, seriously, why? Because you screwed up things with Dee, I bet. It’s not that difficult really Alex. Just go down on your knees and beg for her forgiveness.”

  And that was exactly why I was mean to him.

  “That’d be hard for Alex,” Carlie said. “His pants are too tight.”

  “They aren’t that tight and the leather is really supple and… why am I even discussing this with you? You guys don’t know jack shit.”

  Jackson sat down at the bar.

  “Whoa, it’s good to see you sitting there, Jackson. I feel like something’s missing every time I look in that direction.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ve got a lot of shit on my plate.”

  Jackson now worked as a session muso. He didn’t really want to go back on the road and, with a baby on the way, he felt like he should have a steady job.

  “You do look like someone stomped all over you. Aren’t you heading off to the festival next week? Hell, you are going to be brooding emo guy for that,” Jackson said. Then he indicated for Carlie to get him a ginger ale.

  Love had changed that man.

  “Yeah, you’ve been a complete misery guts,” Carlie said. “If you think getting down on your knees is going to be enough, think again, buddy. Dee is so angry with you, it’d take some massive gesture to get her to even look at you. I’m talking Meg Ryan rom-com type gesture. Not flowers, not chocolates. Maybe like slicing your arms off or, I dunno, not stealing her dead brother’s song. That was a real dick move.”

  “Huh?” Jackson stared at me. “You didn’t.”

  That was not going to be explained. All my justifications wouldn’t help. I’d just look like a dick, but a dick with pathetic excuses. Jackson would stick to his guns. He’d tell the label guys to stick their contract and walk out. That was the type of guy he was. Straight down the line. Holden was like that too. But they didn’t have the same longing I had.

  “So, you tell me, Carlie. What kind of grand gesture should it be?”

  She’d been wiping down the bar but stopped and stared me.

  “You’re not going to do it, are you? You aren’t going to stop with that song.”

  “There’s such a thing as contractual obligations.”

  “Yeah, a contract you signed. You knew what you were getting into. And you knew it’d hurt Dee.”

  She moved away and Drew and Jackson argued. That left me with my thoughts. Did I want to win Dee? I’d never lifted one finger to get a woman before, but this was different. When she looked at me with that mistrust and hate, I could barely stand it. Even if I couldn’t win her back, even if I failed, it’d be worth it to remove that from her. I wanted to be the man I saw reflected in her eyes when she let her guard down with me. Even if I got away with using the song, would the end result be worth it?

  Even if she had planned all this as revenge, she couldn’t have planned for me to need that song. Not unless she was a criminal mastermind. It did fall on me. I had to accept the blame. I’d gotten everything I’d wanted but had never realised it would cost so much.

  Before the thoughts could line up, Sally came into the bar.

  Carlie smiled at her and the others said “hello” but she stomped over and stood beside me.

  She handed me an envelope.

  “What’s this?”

  “My resignation. I quit.”

  “Fine, what do you want?”

  She glared at me. “Nothing. I want to quit. A week’s notice, that’s all I have to give. This time next week, I’ll be out of here.”

  “You want a raise? Look, maybe an extra dollar an hour is all I can do.” I gave her my special smile. That would melt her panties and have her gasping for me again. Even though I’d told her we’d never come to anything, she still had the hots for me.

  “Keep your lousy d
ollar. Keep your job too. It’s bullshit, Alex. You know what I’d have liked? For you to have treated me with some respect. You knew I liked you and you dicked me around. And that is totally not cool.”

  “Okay,” I said, turning to Jackson with a grin. “I’ll make it a buck fifty. But that’s final.”

  “Can I get a drink?” she said to Carlie. “I have something to celebrate.”

  “Yeah?”

  She pulled something out of her handbag. “Plane tickets. Well, not exactly tickets, but a print out of my booking. I’m heading to Europe. And, get this, I talked to Violet and she’s got a job lined up for me. International liaison for some promo company she’s been working with over there. I’m out of this place and headed for the big time.”

  Shit. I guess an extra two bucks an hour wouldn’t cut it then. “But who’s looking after the band bookings? You can’t leave me in the lurch like that.”

  Sally laughed. “Fucks? I don’t have any. Well, I do for the bands playing here but for you, zero. Like your band, Zero, because that’s how many fucks I have to give.”

  I’d be away for a month on this festival tour. The bands would be booked that far out but there’s still all the day to day stuff. Someone had to be on-site. I turned to Carlie, ready to wheedle her into it but she shook her head.

  “Don’t look at me, I’m flat out down here.”

  “You can’t wait another month?”

  “I could, but I don’t want to.”

  Hell, as if I didn’t enough to deal with, now I had this as well. The others drifted off and I sat alone at the bar. I could get someone else to do Sally’s job but could I get them trained up in time? Maybe I could talk Hamish into taking on some extra duties. He had to be here for sound check and the gigs, but would he be able to work that around the sound? Babs couldn’t do it. No one else had been here long enough. Maybe Pete, but I wasn’t so sure about that.

  Even if I advertised, I had so little time.

  Everything was falling flat. I should be in victory mode. The festival, the gig, the recording. My perfect life plan coming together — instead, it felt like my life was falling apart.

  Carlie came over and leaned on the bar next to me.

  “Seriously, Alex, you have to make things right with Dee. You’ll never be happy until you are with her. You have it bad and you can’t hide it. Are you going to let your stupid pride ruin everything?”

  Dee

  It was a bit awkward living with Sally. Her place was kind of small for two people but then, it was just for a week or so, until she left for overseas. She had stuff everywhere, trying to sort out what to take.

  She’d said she’d leave most of the kitchen stuff behind for me and all of the furniture. That was tops since I couldn’t really afford to buy anything.

  I slept on her couch with an old blanket and had my clothes in a bag in the corner. It was about a million steps up from that rat infested hotel I’d been living at, though. I never wanted to go back there. If it wasn’t for Sally, I’d have considered returning home, but I had a job now and the band was doing okay. Even if I spent most of my time pining away over Alex, I had more here than I had back there.

  I’d cleaned up the place before I’d left for work. To be honest, I wanted to get rid of a lot of the clutter. Sally had tizzy things all over the place. I’d wait until she left though, before throwing anything out.

  Another day of work gotten through and I didn’t have rehearsal so that gave me plenty of time for my full schedule of moping and brooding. I’d get over Alex one day but I had no idea when that day would be.

  I took off my work clothes and fished under the sofa for my sleep shorts and a singlet. It wasn’t too clean but what did it matter? No one would see me. I made dinner. Well, a bowl of cereal. I didn’t feel much like eating but I couldn’t let myself starve to death.

  I still had the phone number Sally had given me still in my wallet. I’d not used it. I had the power to get the revenge I wanted but now revenge had lost its zest. Even if she was right and I could destroy Alex, what did it matter? Would I feel better? I doubted it.

  People kept telling me that revenge wouldn’t bring Jake back but it wasn’t the death that had turned me against Alex, it was that he’d done that and had never had to pay for his mistake. The more I’d learnt though, the more I realised that wasn’t true. Alex might not have been prosecuted but he’d paid in his own way.

  I screwed up the phone number and threw it in the rubbish.

  Since I was home on my own, I turned on the TV. Lately, silence annoyed me. It gave me even more room for my thoughts of Alex, of that night when he’d seemed almost to be in love with me. Every soft touch on my arm, the times he’d leaned in just a little too close to speak to me, the hard muscles of his body when I’d tackled him to the ground.

  It wasn’t even a breakup. There’d been nothing to break, nothing tangible. In my melancholy, I remembered something. I got up and hunted for my leather jacket. I found it hanging on the back of a chair and pulled a bag out of the pocket. The jellybeans. They’d been there since Alex had given them to me.

  I didn’t really see the point of them. Why’d he even given me a gift to remember the good times?

  I took one out. A green one. As I put it in my mouth, a tear welled in my eye. Damn jellybean, making me cry.

  I got another one. White. Even worse. Screw it all. I stuffed a handful into my mouth. I’d eat my feelings. Maybe then I’d feel better.

  What could I have done? There was nothing I could have done differently with Alex. I hadn’t come here to seduce him or to make him fall in love with me. I’d come here to get revenge. The whole falling in love thing had happened despite myself.

  That really sucked. I was in love with Alex. I’d denied it for so long. I’d tried to push those feeling away. Alex was a massive douchebag. The most selfish fucking person alive. He’d played with me like I was a little toy, one minute all caring and sweet, the next minute pushing me away. For what purpose, I couldn’t even work out. Maybe for his own amusement.

  I should be more like Sally. She’d put Alex in her past and was moving on with her life. She’d probably meet some fantastic guy in Europe and would have an awesome life while I stayed here, withering away with unrequited love.

  I got up and walked to the bin, fishing out the phone number Sally had given me. I could destroy him and I would. I smoothed out the paper. It smelt a bit of fish and had some oil stains, but the number was still readable. Since it was a cell phone, I could call now. I could make that call and reveal Alex for the person he really was.

  I walked back into the living room to find my phone.

  Before I found it, someone knocked at the door. It couldn’t be Sally home. She wouldn’t knock anyway. Alex? My heart raced. I squished down the rising happiness inside me. It wouldn’t be him and, even if it was, I refused to be happy about it. I almost tripped over a cord running across the floor in my rush to the door.

  If it was Alex, the man I intended to destroy, the man I hated, why was I so pleased? Maybe I had some mental illness.

  It wasn’t Alex.

  I took in the cool, sophisticated woman standing on the doorstep. Her hair pulled back into a bun, her makeup immaculate. Tall, bone thin and a face like she’d sucked on a lemon.

  What the fuck was Alex’s mother doing here?

  She swept past me, into the kitchen. Her face screwed up as though she’d smelt something bad. Maybe she had. To be honest, neither of us were the best of housekeepers and the place had rising damp. But that was beside the point. Who was Alex’s mother to come here and get all haughty about our smells? What the hell was she doing here in the first place?

  “We need to talk,” she said.

  That woman scared the hell out of me. She was so imposing and as hard as granite. All things considered, it was amazing that Alex had ended up as sweet as he was, and he sure was no fluffy kitten. I’d never spoken to her before but everyone in our hometown knew who she
was.

  But screw all that. I made myself as tall as I could and pointed to a chair at the tiny kitchen table. I wouldn’t let this woman overpower me. She’d hunted me out, and that meant she must want something awfully bad.

  “I want you to disappear,” she said. “And I’m prepared to pay for it.”

  She sat with her fancy designer handbag on her lap, as though nowhere in the place was clean enough to set it. She even perched herself on the edge of the seat, as though it was not nearly clean enough for her.

  “Is that right?” I said. I leaned against the bench, not wanting to sit down with her. Still, this kitchen was so small that I was almost touching her. She glared at me and I wanted to back away but there was nowhere to back to.

  “When I found out you were here, fooling around with Alex, I knew there had to be some petty motive behind it. I’m not sure what you hope to achieve but I am sure we can settle it to both our satisfaction.” She pulled out a cheque book and an expensive-looking pen. “So, let’s talk numbers.”

  I inhaled, trying to stop the bile from rising inside me. What the actual fuck?

  “Is that what you did after Alex killed my brother? You got out your cheque book and waved some money around to make the problem disappear? Did you ever think how anyone else felt? The suffering of my family.”

  She sighed as though she had to try to explain something simple to a child.

  “But your brother was dead either way. It’s not like Alex going to jail would’ve brought him back to life.”

  I couldn’t believe this woman. She wasn’t just cold; she was pure Arctic evil.

  Even so, I wouldn’t get angry with her. I’d act just as cold as she was. She could say her piece then fly off on her broomstick and I’d never have to see her again.

  “Don’t you think people should take responsibility for their actions? There are consequences. You can’t just get off scot free. Well, most people don’t.”

  She gave a short, brittle laugh.

  “There were consequences. Of course there were. Alex was going to work in the firm. He had a brilliant future in business and he had to leave all that behind. It’s like he’s been in exile.”