Aunt Dimity Digs In

by Nancy Atherton

  “Well . . .” I allowed grudgingly, “you sent Francesca in my direction, too, so I guess we can call it a wash.”

  Bill reached for Will’s stroller and we resumed our walk. “Do you think we’ll have to catch the thief,” he asked, “or will it be enough if we can persuade Adrian Culver to leave the schoolhouse?”

  “They’re not separate issues,” I replied. “We have to find the thief in order to find the stolen pamphlet. And we have to find the stolen pamphlet in order to prove to Adrian Culver that his big find is a bad joke. That’s the only way we’ll get him to vacate the schoolhouse in time for the Harvest Festival. And that’s the only way we’ll get Peggy Kitchen out of the vicar’s hair and into Little Stubbing’s.”

  “Wait.” Bill stopped in his tracks. “Haven’t you skipped a step? What about asking Stan to find another copy of the Gladwell pamphlet?”

  “I’ll ask him,” I said, “but, frankly, his chances of tracking down another copy are as remote as . . . as the chances of Peggy Kitchen making a huge donation to Saint George’s this coming Sunday.”

  “No hope?” said Bill.

  I held my thumb and forefinger a hairsbreadth apart. “About this much. There’s a reason documents like the Gladwell pamphlet are called ephemera. Brochures, broadsheets, posters—they’re not made to last. If they do survive, they’re usually buried in the bowels of a poorly indexed collection. It could be years before Stan gets lucky.”

  “Then we’ll simply have to keep our eyes and ears open,” said Bill, stepping off briskly. “Someone must have seen something, and they’re bound to talk. You’ll be surprised at how quickly news spreads in a place like Finch.” The twins chirped with delight as we steered the strollers around a dip in the path. “ The village grapevine is the most effective means of communication known to man. It makes the Internet look like a pair of Dixie cups on a string.”

  “So all I’ll have to do is make myself available? Bill,” I added, pausing to catch my breath, “could we slow down? I’m getting winded and you’re going to bounce Will right out of his stroller.”

  “Sorry.” Bill adjusted his stride and tried, halfheartedly, to suppress a self-satisfied grin. “Shall we call it a day?”

  I squirmed at the thought of Bill taking pity on me—Bill! The man who’d scarcely been able to climb Pou ter’s Hill without collapsing!—but I nodded. Four months of diaper-changing were no match for four months of bicycle-riding.

  “Peggy’s petition won’t help me find the burglar,” I said as we turned the strollers around. “Everyone in the village will sign it, including the thief. No one in his right mind is going to defy Peggy Kitchen openly.”

  Bill stooped to rescue a tiny sock that was in danger of escaping from Will’s flailing foot. “You know how I hate to contradict you, my love, especially in front of the children, but Sally Pyne’s defied Peggy already.”

  “To her face?” I said, astonished.

  “More or less,” said Bill. “Sally offered room and board to the two young people Dr. Culver brought with him.”

  “Simon and Katrina,” I said. “Did they accept?”

  “ They moved in Sunday afternoon.” Bill straightened. “Sally Pyne is clearly a Culverite.”

  I picked a long blade of grass from the edge of the path and twirled it slowly between my fingers. “An archaeological site might pull in tourists,” I reasoned, “and tourists would boost business at Sally’s tearoom. I suppose Sally might’ve burgled the vicarage.”

  “Fat Sally?” Bill lifted an eyebrow. “It’s hard to imagine a woman of Sally’s proportions managing stealthy footsteps, but it’s possible.”

  “Too much is possible,” I grumbled. “The only villagers I can scratch off the list of suspects are the Buntings and Peggy Kitchen.”

  “And Jasper Taxman,” Bill put in. “According to Sally Pyne, Mr. Taxman is courting Peggy Kitchen.”

  I whistled softly between my teeth. “Brave man.”

  “He’s a retired accountant,” Bill explained. “Perhaps he craves excitement in his golden years.”

  “Perhaps,” I said doubtfully. I crossed Jasper Taxman’s name off of my mental list, then frowned. “What if all of the villagers decide to keep their mouths shut?”

  Bill patted my hand. “It’ll never happen. Gossip is a competitive sport in Finch. As you said before, all you have to do is make yourself available.”

  “I’ll have tea tomorrow, at Sally Pyne’s,” I said, warming to the idea, “and you’ll eat lunch and dinner at the pub for the next few days.”

  Bill sighed mournfully. “I feel compelled to point out that we’ll be forsaking the delights of Francesca’s cooking. Are we willing to make such a sacrifice for the Buntings’ sake?”

  I paused, remembering the vicar’s troubled face and the undercurrent of concern in Lilian’s voice. I owed an awful lot to those two kindly souls. I’d given up on religion when my mother had died, but the twins had made me reach for it again. Delivery rooms, like foxholes, make believers of us all, and when I’d first entered Saint George’s, furtively and by a side door, too embarrassed to admit how lost I felt, the Buntings had welcomed me as though I’d never strayed.

  Bill had turned to look back at me. The playful note was gone from his voice when he said, “I know. It’s the least we can do.”

  I hugged him, then pushed away. “Hey, Mr. Big Shot Boston lawyer—how did you get to be such an expert on small towns?” I’d intended to lighten the mood, but Bill’s face remained somber.

  “Finch reminds me of my prep school,” he said, “which means that we’d better catch our thief quickly. When people in a close-knit community start taking sides in a dispute, things can turn ugly overnight.”

  7.

  “Shepherd! How the hell are you? Up to your armpits in crappy nappies?”

  Dr. Stanford J. “Call me Stan” Finderman wasn’t your standard academic. My old boss looked more like a long shoreman than a scholar, with a bristly crew cut, a barrel chest, and hands that could wring the neck of a rhinoceros. His forthright manner and colorful vocabulary were legacies of a stint in the navy.

  “Brats off the tit yet?” Stan continued. “Or d’you plan to go to college with ’em?”

  “The boys are fine, Stan,” I replied. It was nine o’clock in the morning and I felt like a million bucks. I’d slept like a rock for six hours, fed the boys, then rolled over for another luxurious half hour while Francesca got them bathed and dressed. My sterling nanny had baked croissants for breakfast—after I showed her how to open the kitchen cabinets—and Bill had pedaled off to work whistling blithely, while I retreated to the study to make my call to Stan. “Can you spare a minute? I need your help.”

  “Anytime, anyplace, Shepherd.” Stan’s sense of loyalty was another legacy of his stint in the navy.

  “I’m trying to do a favor for some friends,” I explained. “Do we know anyone who collects obscure Victorian archaeological ephemera?”

  “To buy or to borrow?” he asked.

  “A loan would suffice,” I replied.

  “Tried the British Library?” It was a logical suggestion. A three-hundred-year-old law required British publishers to send a copy of every book to the British Library, free of charge.

  “Don’t think it’ll help in this case,” I said. “I’m looking for a privately printed pamphlet, written and published by a hobbyist named Cornelius Gladwell. He was C of E vicar, an amateur archaeologist, and a vindictive son of a gun. I don’t think he’d’ve bothered with the niceties of publishing laws.”

  “My kind of guy,” said Stan. “ Tell me more, Shepherd.”

  Stan chortled gleefully while I recounted Mr. Gladwell’s uncharitable scheme to defraud posterity—Stan had always had a soft spot for scoundrels—but he settled down when I got to Lilian Bunting’s description of the missing pamphlet.

  “I’m afraid there’s not much to go on,” I said, consulting the red spiral-bound notebook. “My friends describe the pamphlet a
s ‘small, mouse-colored, and flimsy.’ ”

  “ That’s a big help,” Stan said sarcastically. “Has it got a title?”

  “It’s called Disappointments in Delving,” I told him, “and we know that Mr. Gladwell printed ten numbered copies.”

  “ Ten copies!” Stan exclaimed.

  “ That’s right,” I said. “And we need to find one ASAP.”

  Stan grunted and fell silent. I could almost see him leaning back in his office chair, his shirtsleeves rolled up, his collar undone, his red face pointed ceilingward as he scanned his enormous memory bank of names, faces, and book-collecting habits.

  “I’m drawing a blank,” he grumbled at last, “but don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’ll throw out the nets and see what I can haul in.”

  “Great,” I said. “Thanks, Stan.”

  “Stow it,” he replied. “ Taught your brats to read yet?”

  I spent the rest of the morning on the phone, explaining my plight to friends at museums and libraries in Great Britain and the United States. Gradually, by working the network of experts I’d come to know over the years, I managed to connect with about a dozen antiquities scholars who promised to search their respective collections for me.

  Finally, I called Emma and asked her to run a computer search of on-line catalogs. I also pleaded with her to see what she could do about taming the Buntings’ jungle. She agreed to undertake both assignments, but I suspected that the latter would receive priority treatment.

  “I’m an old hand at reviving neglected gardens,” she assured me, “and I’ve been dying to yank out all of those weeds. I swear there’s a Rosa hemisphaerica buried in there somewhere, and the Clematis cirrhosa would be glorious if it were given room to breathe. And the Cotinus coggygria! Can you picture it against the wall?”

  I let her burble on, though I couldn’t understand one word in twenty. By the time she’d finished, the boys were ready for lunch and I was ready to toss the telephone out of the window.

  “Watch your step,” Francesca cautioned as I entered the kitchen, rubbing my phone-sore ear.

  Will and Rob were waving furiously at me from their bouncy chairs, as though trying to draw my attention to Francesca’s latest stroke of genius. I looked down and saw that she’d tied a long cord to their chairs, so she could give them a reassuring jiggle from across the room. She was, at that moment, standing at the stove, stirring yet another aromatic stockpot.

  “Francesca, this is brilliant,” I said, stepping carefully over the cord. “Just like the circus animals in the tree yesterday.” I crossed to breathe in a bouquet of mouth-watering scents. “Lunch, I hope?”

  “Tomato-and-basil soup,” Francesca replied. “I thought it’d go well with the croissants left over from breakfast.” As she reached for the wooden spoon, her bronze medallion swung forward.

  “That’s a striking piece of jewelry,” I said. The medallion featured a raised, cherubic face surrounded by a halo of curly hair—not unlike my own—with a pair of tiny wings protruding from the temples. “Is that supposed to be Mercury?”

  “It’s Mercury’s winged head.” Francesca touched the bronze disk. “It’s called a phalera. It’s a military decoration Roman soldiers used to wear. My father gave it to me, to remind me of where he came from.” She lifted the wooden spoon to her lips and switched off the stove. “Finito. D’you want to take care of the bambinos before or after we eat?” She used the Italian words offhandedly, and without a trace of an accent, apart from her west-country burr. I wondered if she was testing the waters to see if the cottage had been infiltrated by the prejudices her father had encountered.

  “Bambinos first, is my motto,” I said, and was rewarded with an amused flicker from the corner of her eye.

  Francesca had already prepared bowls of pureed chick peas and rice, and we spent a splendidly messy half hour helping Will and Rob vector in on the glide path between bowl and mouth. My little aces hit the target so often that they barely had room for milk afterward, and were willing to doze, full-bellied as Buddhas, while Francesca and I sat down to eat.

  Between spoonfuls of savory soup and bites of buttery croissant, I told Francesca my plans for the afternoon. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be, and I don’t want to be late for the boys’ next meal the way I was yesterday, so . . . Would you mind coming along? I know it’ll be a lot of trouble, loading Will and Rob into the car and all, but . . .”

  Francesca’s dark eyes gleamed. “I’ve run eight kiddies to the Sleepy Hollow Farm Park and back any number of times. I think I’ll be able to manage a pair of lamb chops like Rob and Will.”

  I looked down at my empty bowl, remembering the agonized hours I’d spent preparing for the six-mile (roundtrip) journey from the cottage to Saint George’s for the boys’ christening. I felt limp with inadequacy.

  “I’d just as soon not bring the boys into the tearoom, though,” Francesca added. “Wouldn’t want to bother Mrs. Pyne’s other customers. I’ll sit with ’em up at Saint George’s churchyard, if you like. You could meet us there when you’ve finished.”

  I nodded my agreement. None of the churchyard’s customers would complain if the boys decided to exercise their right to free speech. “I’ll get the keys to the Mercedes. The Mini’s backseat isn’t big enough for—”

  “You’ve reminded me . . .” Francesca interrupted. She reached into her apron pocket. “I found this in a ratty old plimsoll at the back of the linen cupboard. Thought you might’ve misplaced it. D’you know what it’s for?”

  I gazed at the key resting in Francesca’s palm and blushed to my roots. “Yes,” I admitted. “It unlocks the padlock on the, um, bathroom cabinet.”

  “Clever of you to hide it,” Francesca commented. “Can’t be too careful where little ones and medicine chests are concerned. I could tell you stories. . . .” She gazed at my bambinos and pocketed the key. “I’ll put it right back where I found it.”

  I nearly wept into my soup. At last! I’d done something right!

  Francesca took the wheel of the Mercedes while I kept an eye on the boys in the backseat. They dozed as soon as the engine started, and were fast asleep by the time we reached the humpbacked bridge.

  It was another warm and sunny day, without a breath of wind to stir the willows on the green, but the square was—by Finch’s standards—a beehive of activity. Christine and Dick Peacock were hosing down the pub’s windows. Able Farnham, the aged greengrocer, was restocking his outdoor bins. Mr. Barlow, who garaged my cars when I was back in the States, was out walking Buster, his yappy terrier.

  Bill’s bicycle was propped in its customary place among the wysteria, and the paneled van was parked in front of the village school. The schoolhouse doors were firmly shut, however. Katrina and Simon were apparently heeding my advice and keeping a low profile.

  Peggy Kitchen, on the other hand, had decided to make a statement. An array of Union Jacks had sprouted overnight from the front of her shop, and the display window, which usually featured a humble pyramid of baked-bean cans, now trumpeted an urgent call to arms. A hand-lettered sign placed strategically above a portrait of the queen shouted: SHE WANTS YOU TO SIGN THE PETITION! But only a tourist would think that she referred to Elizabeth II.

  “Good grief,” I said, dazzled by the display.

  “Stupid woman,” said Francesca. “Everyone knows the bishop won’t heed her silly petition.”

  “Why not?” I asked.

  “The bishop’s daft about Roman ruins,” Francesca replied. “Everyone knows that.”

  “Peggy doesn’t,” I pointed out.

  Francesca tossed her head dismissively. “You could fill a barn with what Mrs. Kitchen doesn’t know about Finch.” Her gaze drifted away from Peggy’s declaration of war, and her eyes narrowed slightly. “Now there’s something I didn’t know about.”

  I followed her gaze and saw, to my dismay, that the tearoom was closed. The door was shut, the windows were shrouded in bedsheets, and the freestanding slate
sandwich-board that served as both sign and daily menu wasn’t teetering in its usual spot on the cobbles.

  “ Tearoom’s closed for renovation,” Mr. Barlow called from across the square.

  Francesca frowned. “Why’s Mrs. Pyne bothering with that? I liked the tearoom as it was.”

  I, too, had been fond of the tearoom’s disarming flea-market decor—the mismatched chairs, the rickety tables, the astonishing variety of chipped china. I wondered what would replace it.

  “No point in it,” Francesca went on sourly. “She only set up shop three years ago. No need for her to be rearranging things now.”

  I blinked. “Sally Pyne’s not from Finch?”

  “Lord no. She came here from Plymouth, to be nearer her son and daughter-in-law.” Francesca glanced at the boys, who were still snoozing in their car seats, lulled by the idling engine. “Back to the cottage?”

  “No . . .” I hated the thought of going home empty-handed. Bill would return from the pub, great with gossip, and I wouldn’t have a crumb to contribute. “I think I’ll stop by the Emporium. Want to come along?”

  “And disturb the bambinos?” Francesca shook her head. “I’d sooner wait for you in the churchyard. See you in”—she checked her watch—“one hour?”

  “I’ll be there.” I waved Francesca off, then squatted to greet Buster, who, unleashed by Mr. Barlow, had raced over to sniff at my sneakers.

  “Mornin’, Lori.” Mr. Barlow coiled Buster’s leash around his hand as he approached. “Nothing wrong with the Mini, I hope.”

  Mr. Barlow was a retired mechanic who’d come to regard my Mini as a dependable pension supplement. He never failed to ask after its health.

  “The Mini’s fine,” I assured him. I picked up the rubber ball Buster had dropped at my feet and nodded toward the pub. “The Peacocks are industrious this morning. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them hosing down the pub before.”