As You Wish

by Jude Deveraux

  “But you have Carmen. And you’re going to have a child.” She didn’t mean it to, but there was bitterness in her voice.

  Kent gave a little smile—the one that used to make her dizzy with what she thought was love. “I needed to have some fun. You can’t begrudge a man that.”

  This time, his smile had no effect on her. “What none of you thought of is that I want to have fun too. I need laughter in my life. I want what you have with Carmen.” She paused.

  This isn’t what she wanted to say. “Kent, why don’t you tell them all to go screw themselves? You’ve been a victim of our selfish, greedy parents as much as I have. They’ve manipulated you too. Walk out. Leave them. Marry Carmen and live with her and your children and be happy. Maybe not rich, but happy.”

  With every word she spoke, Kent’s eyes widened. “Are you sure you’re the kid next door? You don’t sound like her. That girl is absolutely perfect—and obedient. She’s like a porcelain doll. Unreal.”

  Elise didn’t like that image of herself, but she knew it was true. But then, you can’t be a sassy, back-talking girl around people who you know don’t love you. “That’s who I tried to be, and now it’s wonderfully freeing not to have to be her.” She looked at him. “From what Carmen says, you two really love each other.”

  “Yes. I can be myself around her. I don’t have to pretend to be some perfect hero.”

  “If that’s supposed to transfer blame to me, it’s not working.”

  He gave her a genuine smile, not one with feigned patience, as though she bored him. “You know, if you’d been like this before, I wouldn’t have needed anyone else.”

  For the first time in her life, Elise saw him clearly. She had created a myth. In her mind, she’d made him into a hero and had expected him to be that person. No wonder he preferred a woman who yelled at him when she didn’t like what he did.

  In that moment, she released everything. All the years of longing for something that didn’t exist, disappeared. Vanished forever.

  Kent seemed to realize what had happened as the smile he gave her was tinged with a bit of regret. Everyone wanted to be a hero to someone! “So you’re going off with him?”

  Not far away, in the shade of a big tree, Alejandro was still sitting on the black horse—and he was scowling at her. She’d taken quite long enough. “Yes, I am. He’s a good man and...” She wasn’t going to mention the word love to Kent.

  “Carmen has nothing but good to say about both her brothers. She wanted me to help them get jobs.”

  “I don’t think you have to worry about that. We’re helping ourselves.”

  “So it’s ‘we’? Already?”

  Elise glanced at Alejandro and he’d quit scowling. To her astonishment, he’d begun to unbutton his shirt. “I have to go,” she said quickly. “You’ll do whatever is necessary to get Dad out of jail?”

  “Eventually. First, I might talk to your mother about her future grandchildren.”

  “If you mean you and Carmen, are you forgetting that without me you aren’t related to my mother?”

  Kent glanced at Alejandro. His shirt was now open all the way down to his washboard abs. “I predict that our kids will be first cousins.” He nodded toward Alejandro. “Think you can handle him? You haven’t had much experience and he looks serious.”

  Elise remembered what Kit had said to Olivia. She gave a snort of derision, then quoted, “‘With sex, baby, no lessons are required.’” Turning, she looked at Alejandro. As he sat there with his shirt open and high up on a big black horse, all she could think about was him.

  When she smiled at him and gave a nod, she knew just what he was going to do. With his head down, he urged the horse into a gallop and headed directly toward Elise and her former fiancé. Kent cried out in warning as he jumped back so far that he landed on his rear end in the dirt.

  But Elise didn’t move. She just lifted her arm and as Alejandro thundered by, he grabbed it and pulled her up into the saddle behind him. She put her arms around him, her head on his back, and smiled.

  “Amigos,” Alejandro said, making her laugh. Yes, friendship was an excellent aphrodisiac.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Summer Hill, Virginia 1970

  Olivia knew it wouldn’t work. It couldn’t possibly actually happen. But the idea of going back in time was a wonderful concept. Ever since she’d seen the business card, her mind hadn’t stopped working. All the things she’d do differently kept running through her thoughts. She would prepare for the life she wanted, not the one she’d had, but the one with Kit.

  As she’d driven the women to the house on—she smiled at the absurdity of the name—“Everlasting Street” she’d told herself it was all ridiculous. But that didn’t quieten her mind. When she talked to that young woman, Arrieta, that should have reinforced that it was all a made-up fairy tale.

  Instead, it was as though she had been energized. Her foremost thought was that if after three weeks she forgot what had happened, then she’d have to fix things so they couldn’t be changed. She’d make them legal. Permanent, meaning marriage, and if she was to study psychology, she’d have to enroll in college.

  Three weeks before Kit had been picked up by the military would probably be sometime in July, but she wasn’t sure of the date. The children had been there and those dear old men, and Bill and Nina, and... She took a breath. Her beloved parents were still alive. But back then, she and Kit hadn’t noticed anyone else. They were young and in love, and they’d sneaked away at every possible opportunity to have glorious sex.

  Olivia closed her eyes tighter. She never wanted to open them, didn’t want to see Arrieta’s face, didn’t want to hear her say, “I don’t know what went wrong.” That’s what all charlatans said, didn’t they? Then they asked for more money.

  And there’d be poor Elise, crying because all hope of escaping what was coming with her father was gone. How did one prove sanity when you had people who supposedly loved you telling the world that you were flat-out crazy?

  Kathy was facing a life of being labeled as Ray Hanran’s castoff. After having met him, Olivia was sure that no one would believe that Kathy had been the one to want to get away from him. No, everyone would believe she was inadequate. Couldn’t hold her man. That was going to destroy her self-esteem.

  Olivia squeezed her eyes very tight, knowing that she was deepening the lines that radiated out across her face. Ah, old age. The things you have to worry about.

  “The cat broke them,” said a child’s voice.

  “It was a demon cat,” said another child. “Green with purple spots that glow in the dark.”

  “And it flies,” the first child added.

  Olivia didn’t open her eyes, but at the memory of those deliciously familiar voices, the tears started coming. She let them find their way out and run down her cheeks.

  “We’re sorry,” Ace whispered.

  He always did have a soft heart, Olivia thought. Her face was wet and she was much too scared to open her eyes. Had she wished so hard that she’d conjured them? Like in some voodoo spell?

  “Livie!” It was Letty’s voice of command. She had always been the leader of the two children.

  Olivia swallowed hard and very slowly opened her eyes. But they were so full of tears she had to blink several times before she could see.

  She was sitting under the big magnolia tree on an old oak chair that had been left outside for years. In her lap was a bowl of green beans that she’d been snapping into pieces. To her right was the garden, lush with vegetables that were to be harvested. She could see the corner of the house. It needed to be painted.

  In front of her were the two children, Ruth and Kyle, aka Letty and Ace. Letty had on her look of defiance, her dark brows drawn together, while Ace looked a bit guilty for not telling the truth about the broken eggs in the basket.

 
How beautiful they are! Olivia thought. Why hadn’t she remembered what extraordinarily good-looking children they were? She could see Tate, the child Letty would someday give birth to, in the girl’s face. Under her sweetly rounded cheeks were Tate’s sculpted cheekbones.

  As for Ace, he was blond and blue-eyed, and he’d grow up to be an excellent doctor. He cared about every one of his patients, about all of Summer Hill.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Letty demanded. Her pushiness was covering her guilt that she and Ace had yet again broken every egg they’d collected.

  Slowly, Olivia put the bowl of beans on the ground.

  The children were watching her odd behavior and she could read their minds. Were they going to be punished with no brownies, or would Livie run off with Kit and forget about their latest transgression?

  When Olivia stood up, she gasped. There was no stiffness in her joints, no catch in her left knee from where she’d hurt it while trying to slide a washing machine out of the way.

  She took a quick step to the side. Her body was all suppleness and grace, easy of movement. Lifting her arms, she did a pirouette. Laughing, she held out her hands to the children.

  They were puzzled, but Letty dropped the basket of broken eggs, nodded to Ace, and they took Olivia’s hands. She danced all the way around the tree with them. “Can I still sing?” she wondered aloud. When growing up, when she’d been absolutely, totally sure how her life was going to go, she’d taken voice lessons.

  Arrieta had said that songs and stories wouldn’t be remembered, so she started singing “Let It Go” from the movie Frozen. The children quickly picked up the tune and the words. Letty yelled the lyrics with great feeling. Ace sang his line about not minding the cold with a funny little flip of defiance. And when the three of them belted out the title, the rooster and the peacock joined in so loudly they sounded like barnyard musicians. Livie and the children leaped and twirled and sang at the top of their lungs.

  It wasn’t until the fourth chorus that Olivia saw that Uncle Freddy and Mr. Gates were at the edge of the shade and watching them in astonishment. Abruptly, Olivia halted.

  When she’d been young, she’d thought the men were very old, ancient even. But now she saw them differently. Late seventies, early eighties. Not that old. And they looked healthy. She knew that both of them would live another eleven years—and they’d leave the earth within months of each other. She also knew that at their funerals the town would hear of all the good the men had done. All the fruits and vegetables that Olivia had paid no attention to had been given to anyone in town who needed them.

  Uncle Freddy had quietly helped several high school students get into college. One of the reasons he hadn’t been able to keep a housekeeper-cook was because his big house was an unofficial way station for people in abusive situations. At his funeral there were a dozen weeping women telling how Uncle Freddy had helped them escape terrible lives. As for Mr. Gates, he was the one who made sure everything got done.

  When she’d been twenty-two and angry at the world for delaying her plan of becoming a Broadway superstar, Olivia had been unaware of what was going on with these people. All she’d cared about were her own wants. And Kit. And more Kit.

  But now, at her age, she had learned that people don’t exist alone. She hadn’t been aware of it when Kit abruptly left, but the grief hadn’t been hers alone. It had been deep for all of them.

  Olivia stood there, holding tightly on to the small, precious hands of the children and she began to cry. Not ladylike tears, but bawling. She dropped to her knees, put her hands over her face, and cried hard and loud.

  It was when Ace began to cry too that Olivia pulled him into her arms. “I’m happy,” she said. “I’m very, very glad to be here. I love all of you so much.” She pulled Letty to her.

  “Did someone die?” Letty whispered in fear.

  Olivia knew the child meant Ace’s mother, who would hold on until the fall. “No! Everyone is alive and well and happy.”

  “Are we going to play records and dance some more?” Ace’s voice was full of hope.

  “We can.” Olivia started kissing the children’s sweet, dirty, sweaty faces.

  Ace looked to Letty to see if that was okay, but she was looking at Olivia in speculation. Usually, Livie was either grumpy or hurrying so she could run off with Kit. She never had time for something as silly as dancing around a tree.

  “Got any of that sugar for us?” Mr. Gates asked.

  With her arms around the children, she looked at the men, Uncle Freddy in his wheelchair, Mr. Gates with his hand on the back. Livie stood up, again marveling at how easy the movement was, and went to them. She hugged Mr. Gates, gave him big, loud kisses on both cheeks, then did the same with Uncle Freddy.

  She stepped back, took the children’s hands in hers, and said, “Who wants mac and cheese for lunch?” When they looked blank, she said, “Macaroni and cheese?” and they nodded. It was 1970, and the US hadn’t yet started shortening every word. Invitation to invite, vacation to vacay, mayonnaise to mayo, tarpaulin to tarp, et cetera. All those would come with the invention of the cell phone.

  “Kit’s working in the orchard,” Mr. Gates said softly, bringing her back to where she was.

  For a moment, Olivia had to fight the urge to run to him, but she didn’t go. She might have a young body, but her mind was old enough to have learned that all people are important.

  She was still holding tightly to the children’s hands. “I think that this afternoon I should make you two some stuffed animals. You need to see what you’re battling. My mom—” Olivia had to pause a moment to catch her breath. Her mother was alive! “My mother can come over and help us sew them. But you have to tell us what the space creatures look like. And I think we need to get Kit to make laser guns out of a couple of flashlights. We’ll use wire and plastic wrap.”

  “What’s a laser?” Letty asked.

  “A gun.” Ace’s eyes seeming to twirl around in circles.

  Livie looked at Uncle Freddy. “Is there a camera around here somewhere? I’d like to take a thousand photos of everyone and everything. Tate and Nina will want to see—” She broke off. They didn’t yet exist.

  “Who is Tate?” Letty asked.

  Olivia started to say nothing, but if going back in time was true, then forgetting was also. “He’s your son, and he’s a movie star. Nina is your daughter and she has a little girl named Emma who looks very much like you.”

  “Yuck,” Letty said. “I’m never going to get married.”

  “I am!” Ace said. “And I’m going to have a hundred children.”

  At that, Olivia laughed even harder and skipped with the children toward the house.

  Mr. Gates watched them for a moment, then said, “I don’t know what got into her but I like it.”

  Uncle Freddy was frowning. “Bill’s father was called Tate, for Tattington. If Letty did have a son, I could see that she’d name him Tate. And Nina could well be her daughter’s name.”

  “Little early to be planning her kids, isn’t it?” Mr. Gates began to push the chair to the house. “Livie’s been around those children so long that she’s becoming as fanciful as they are.”

  “It’s almost as though she’s a different person.” Uncle Freddy’s voice was soft, thoughtful.

  “At least she seems to like us,” Mr. Gates said. “You think she and Kit had a fight and she’s trying to make him jealous?”

  “No,” Uncle Freddy said, “I don’t. But something has happened to her! I sure wish I knew what it was.”

  “Whatever it was, if it gets us... What was it? Mac and cheese? I’m all for it.”

  As they rolled past the garden, Uncle Freddy pointed to the yellow squash. “You better take a basket of those over to the Willis house. How’s their new baby doing?”

  “Poorly. It’s mewling a lot.”

/>   “Then go buy some chickens to take to them. My guess is it’s the mother who needs strength.”

  “That’s what Dr. Everett says. Mind if I take some berries too? The kids can pick them this afternoon.”

  “While Livie and Kit are in one of their secret meetings inside the old well house?”

  “That would be a perfect time for picking,” Uncle Freddy said. “Besides, the kids don’t need to hear what goes on in there.”

  “To get them out of earshot of that, I’d have to take them to Richmond.”

  The mutual laughter of the two men could be heard all the way inside the house.

  * * *

  When Olivia saw her mother, she started crying again. As though she were a toddler, she collapsed into her mother’s arms and the tears came from deep inside her body. “I love you so much.”

  Tisha hugged her daughter back, and when she held her away, she too had tears in her eyes. “Let’s help the children, shall we?”

  All Olivia could do was nod.

  Her mother had brought her Bernina sewing machine, and the kids helped them find a plug in the baseboard of the old house. Tisha said that the whole place needed a complete remodel.

  “Tate will do that,” Olivia said before she thought.

  Instead of asking questions, Tisha said, “I hope he does.” But then she was smiling in a way that Olivia thought she could tell her about 9/11 and she’d still smile. It made Olivia think with regret about how she’d so rarely told her mother that she loved her.

  It didn’t take long for them to set up the process of making some stuffed animals. Tisha had sewn all of Olivia’s clothes as a child, and several things she’d taken to New York had been made by her mother. At the time, Olivia had been contemptuous of them. Homemade was a derogatory word.

  The children soon learned that it was Mrs. Paget who could make whatever they wanted. She put an attachment on her machine and sewed purple eyelet circles to fulfill Letty’s fantasy of a spotted creature.