Chasing Shadows (The Initiative Book 1)

by Kindra Sowder

  “Even lying here in a hospital bed all banged up and stitched up you’re still so beautiful,” he crooned as he watched my face move from expression to expression, landing on irritation and disgust. I wanted to punch him in his smug face, but I resisted the urge.

  “Get the fuck away from me, Richards. I may not be able to kick your ass right now, but that Scot sure can, and he will when he sees you this close to me. He knows what you’re all about just like I do, and we see right through your bullshit.” It was a statement of fact, causing Richards’ face to twist into anger as he stood over me, opening his mouth to say something.

  “I have an offer to make, Izzy.”

  “That’s Miss Van Helsing to you, Richards. We’ve been over this.” I waved my hand to dismiss him, but he pushed on.

  “I can set up a safe house for you. All I ask is for one thing.”

  My eyebrows shot up, and I had to say I was genuinely curious, but didn’t want him to know the depth of the feeling. “And what’s that?” I crossed my arms across my chest, which made me uncomfortable, but I held the position, closing myself off to him and his political charms.

  “One date. You can come to my apartment in the city, and I’ll cook you dinner. That’s it. You don’t even have to have anything to do with me after that besides government dribble, but this is all I ask. One date. Think about it. Is turning me down worth your and his safety?”

  I rolled my eyes as McGrady entered the room carrying a small assortment of drinks and snacks.

  “Good, yoo’re awake,” he said cheerfully, giving me a quick kiss on the lips and eyeing Richards suspiciously as he placed everything on the bed tray beside me. “Th’ doctur said ye can have whatever ye want so ah wanted tae make sure thur was somethin’ here fur ye when ye woke up.”

  “Thank you,” I said as I looked past McGrady, who wasn’t paying attention at Richards. His face was screwed up in jealousy, but returned to composure when he realized I noticed him. I would’ve laughed if McGrady wasn’t there. Richard’s eyes flashed dark as if something shifted underneath them and I looked away as quickly as I could. That thing was as thick and dark as the shadows that were now threatening our lives, causing my heart to race with fear. Something was definitely off about Richards, besides being a sleaze ball that wanted something he couldn’t have.

  “How did ye sleep?”

  I shrugged. “As well as I can in a morphine-induced coma, which is not bad actually.”

  “An’ yer pain?” he pushed.

  “Better now that you’re here,” I replied.

  Richards’ face reddened, and he took a step forward. “I need to take care of some things. I’ll be back to check up on everyone soon.” With that he was out the door, his polished shoes scuffing loudly on the floor as he left.

  McGrady’s face pinched into a grimace, and a hiss escaped between his teeth.

  “Whit th’ Hell did ye do tae him?” he asked as he eyed me suspiciously, knowing I had to have done or said something to make him so peeved he’d leave.

  “Nothing he didn’t bring on himself,” I promptly replied, “I’m more interested in what you brought me. Hopefully something good because I am starving.”

  “Well, yoo’ve got yer pick, so go fur it. I’ll eat what ye don’t want.” He pushed the tray toward me and sat on the bed on the other side of it by my feet, watching me as I surveyed my options. “They dorn’t carry organic so ah did whit ah cood.”

  “It’s okay. It’s hospital food. Not that great anyways.” I scanned the items in front of me, choosing the Dr. Pepper and the piece of cheese pizza that was placed in a cardboard triangle that said ‘pizza’ in bright, bold letters. “The rest is all yours. I’m not that hungry.”

  “Ye sure?”

  “Yeah, my stomach is a little queasy. I think it’s the morphine.”

  “Do ye want somethin’ fur nausea? Ah can call th’ nurse,” McGrady offered as he made a move to stand up. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

  “I’ll be alright.” I paused and opened the Dr. Pepper, taking a swig of it before saying anything else. I needed my caffeine courage for this.

  “Yoo’ll be happy tae knoo th’ doctur says ye can go home tomorrow.”

  I was beginning to fidget, picking at my fingernails. The offer Richards made was ringing through my mind and weighing down on me. I couldn’t have a secret between McGrady and me. No way.

  “I need to talk to you about something.” I needed to talk Richards’ offer through with him. One date and we would be moved to a safe house instead of staying somewhere the villain already knew about, whoever it may be. Somewhere safer at least. I wasn’t even sure if McGrady’s home was safe for us, so this offer was possibly one of the best options we had.

  “Did ah do somethin’?” he asked as his brow furrowed with curiosity.

  I sighed and said, “No, you didn’t do anything, but Richards just offered me something, and I’d be stupid not to at least think about it, even though neither one of us will like it in the least.” I took a deep breath before continuing. “He has offered us a safe place to stay, but he wants something in return.”

  “Och, God. Whit iz ‘at slimy politician want noo?” Frustration at Richards’ insistence to have me as his lover was beginning to wear on him and I felt the same way. Beaten down by him to a point where it was getting harder and harder to say no.

  “A dinner date. At his place,” I said matter-of-factly, opening the carton the pizza came in and taking a small bite. It settled awkwardly in my stomach.

  McGrady shook his head and stood up, pacing the room as I watched him almost fall apart right then and there.

  “No, Izzy. Jist no. Ah don’t cara whit he’s offerin’.”

  “Then what do you suggest? That we stay at your place?”

  “Och aye. That’s exactly whit ah suggest. We don’t need Richards tae be safe.” His accent was getting thicker the more we talked about it, so I knew he was angry, but was he right? He came to sit beside me and took my hand in his. “Ah don’t want ye alone wit that asshole fur one reason. We can e’en take steps tae make mah place jist loch any safe house we coods ever bide in. We don’t have tae play his games, loove.”

  “Okay, but what if I saw something while he was here that I can’t explain. That I need to look further into. Going to his place for a dinner would give me the chance to look into it.”

  “An’ whit did ye see that is a good enauf reason fur ye tae be alone wit’ hm in his house?”

  My eyes met his and there was a mixture of anger that Richards would even ask for this kind of thing, and shock that I was even considering the offer for any reason. He didn’t understand, but if he had seen what had moved behind Richards’ piercing gaze then he would’ve felt the same way. Or at least I guessed he would have. I thought about my words carefully, not wanting to sound crazy even though we lived in a world where we knew these things existed. How the Hell did you tell the person you love that the other person vying for your affection was something else besides human based on just one thing? I took a deep, steadying breath and went for it.

  “When he was in here, after you came back, I saw something.” The words were rushed, but I felt that if I didn’t get them out quickly, I would chicken out and not even mention it.

  He looked confused, opening his mouth to say something and then closing it and deciding again that he needed to ask.

  “Whit did ye see, Izzy?”

  I licked my lips nervously, my fingers picking at the label on the Dr. Pepper bottle. I couldn’t stay still as I thought about how to phrase what I had seen. It hadn’t been a lot, but it had been something at least. I was even questioning if it had been my imagination or if it had truly been there at all. The only way to actually know was to make it into Richards’ apartment in the city and see what I could find. If
I could get alone time in the place, that is.

  “I’m not even sure how to explain it, but…” I paused, still unsure of how to say it but needing to say it anyways, “something moved behind his eyes when you came back.”

  His brows furrowed again, and he rubbed his face with his hand, making a sound that was a cross between a sigh and a groan. Had he noticed something like this before and never mentioned it, or did he think I was crazy? I was hoping the explanation of insanity wasn’t what he was leaning toward. He moved the bed tray out of the way, rolling it off to the side, and moved closer to me, taking my hand into both of his and closing his eyes. When he opened them, I saw determination in them.

  “Ye knoo, Izzy, ah wood say it’s th’ medication yoo’ve bin on or th’ trauma.” I opened my mouth to interrupt him and tell him that wasn’t the case, but he held his hand up to stop me. “But ah don’t loch ‘at man so Aam willin’ tae believe that ye actually saw whit ye say ye did. But do ye need tae be alone wit him at his house tae do it?”

  I shrugged; barely even sure now that McGrady was questioning my very ill-conceived plan. “I don’t know, but I do know that it would be quicker than trying to dig things up on him. I mean, I could always go visit Constance Rillieux to see what her Voodoo guides tell her, but that’s a long shot. I got her arrested. I’m sure she wouldn’t want to help the Initiative or me.

  “She’d be th’ safer option all locked awai loch she is. An’ ah wooldn’ have tae worry about ye bein’ raped by ‘er.”

  I cringed at the one word that would make any woman squirm. Rape. It slithered down my spine like a snake, sending a chill through my entire body as my muscles tensed. It made me uncomfortable to even talk about the possibility of it, but I didn’t think that Richards would stoop to that level and having those allegations against him while in the office. Ones that could be proven easily enough.

  “That word. If we could avoid using it that would be great.”

  “But it’s true enuff. Ah don’t want ye alone wit him. Ah don’t loch him an’ ah don’t trust him.”

  “Neither do I,” I said as I looked deep into his eyes and placed my free hand on top of his, rubbing his knuckles with my thumb. “Look, I’ll wear a wire if that makes you feel better and route it to you so you can hear everything. If I’m in any danger, you can come running, and I’ll keep my gun on me too.”

  “‘That duz help a wee bit.” He smirked and said, “Whur do ye plan tae hide th’ gun?”

  I slapped his arm playfully. I knew exactly what he was getting at and, while I was amused, he had the absolute worst timing for perverted jokes.

  “Can you not be a pervert for one second? I’m kind of in the hospital and all.”

  He rubbed his arm and pretended I had hurt him, even welling up with fake tears. “Ow. See, yoo’re feelin’ better alreddy if yoo’re willin’ tae slap me aroond loch that.”

  “That was just a love tap. You should see what I’d do if I weren’t in here.”

  His eyebrows shot up again, and another smirk crossed his gorgeous mouth. “As much as Ah’d loove that Ah want ye healed up first. So give it few moor days.” He sighed and said, “Wear th’ wire an’ yer gun an’ I’ll agree tae lit ye do this. Richards isn’ a man Ah’d want tae be alone wit an’ Ah don’t loch it, but Aam makin’ a compromise hur.”

  “Thank you.” I rubbed his hand. “You’ll be close by so I feel safe already.”

  He leaned forward and kissed me, long and deep that left me yearning on the inside, my gut clenching tight in response to him. My belly did hurt, but not enough at the moment to deter me. He pulled away and looked down at the bed. I could see the gears turning in his mind as he seemed to hesitate to tell me something he knew I wouldn’t want to hear.

  “What is it?” I probed.

  “I’ve bin wantin’ tae tekk ye whit th’ doctur said aboyt yer woonds, but ah was waitin’ fur th’ right time. Ah guess there’s no right time tae tell someone bad noos.”

  I leaned toward him slightly, feeling the pull of the stitches as I moved, but ignoring them no matter how sore I was. “What did he say?”

  He closed his eyes before he spoke like the words hurt him deeply. “Yoo’re gonna scar, Izzy. Yoo’ll have a constant reminder oov near death. Th’ most disturbin’ part is whit that thin’ clawed into ye.”

  “And that is?” Curiosity was getting the best of me, but fear was lingering right below the surface, telling me that I didn’t want to know. Telling me, it would be better if he didn’t tell me and I did all I could to avoid the sight of my mutilated and scarred body from here on out. But there was that part of me that had to know. Needed to know. I had yet to look at it, but I had been in dreamland the last time my bandages were changed based on the tightness of the tape in contact with my skin. It hadn’t lost any of its adhesive quality yet. When I looked at McGrady’s face, he looked pained, as if what was carved into me was the worst fate I could’ve experienced. That even death would have been better. “McGrady, please.” A tear rolled down his cheek, and I reached forward, using my thumb to wipe it away, tracing his jawline with my fingertips.

  Taking a shaky breath, he answered, “‘At thin’ cut a symbol into ye. One I’ve only seen once an’ it was a long time ago in a book when Ah first came tae th’ Initiative.”

  “Come on, babe. You’re dancing around it. Please just tell me.”

  “It’s th’ Gnostic seal ay Abraxas.”

  The realization hit me hard in the center of my chest, almost like I had been bulldozed. The movement behind Richards’ eyes reminded me of a shadow, like the ones that had nearly taken our lives and I knew who I needed to see first. The first person to mention the darkness that would bring us all to our knees with the world following close behind.

  “Has Constance Rillieux been called to Exorcism yet?” I asked. The question earned an odd look from McGrady, who was staring at me like I had sprouted an extra head.

  “No, not yit. Wai?” He was so skeptical even I doubted my own sanity.

  “I need to see her before the Vatican arrives. How soon can you get me in there?”

  “We can see ‘er as soon as yoo’re out in tha’ moornin’. Do ye mind tellin’ me what’s goin’ on?”

  I leaned forward slightly, attempting not to pull my stitches anymore even though I knew that would be impossible. The painful pull of them should be nearly nonexistent tomorrow.

  “Constance had said something to me in her possessed state before we arrested her. She mentioned a darkness that would bring us all to our knees. It was like a shadow moved inside of Richards. Maybe she knows something about it. Or whatever inside of her does.”

  McGrady shook his head, like he was trying to shake the thought from his mind and that I should too.

  “It’s too dangeroos in yer state, Izzy. No, it’s dangeroos fur anyone.”

  “But maybe she can tell me what I need to be looking for when I meet Richards. It’s the only way I know to get some kind of hint to what we’re dealing with before we go in there. I need to go in prepared, Jonas.”

  “Izzy, Aam alreddy havin’ second thoughts about ‘at. Don’ remind me Aam lettin’ ye do it.” He rose to his feet and started to pace the room, working his way to creating a trench in the linoleum floor. “It’s bad enuff yoo’ll be alone wit Richards, but fur ye tae be alone wit a possessed hen? This is insane.”

  “Not like you can’t stand on the other side of the two-way mirror and keep watch. Come in if something goes wrong,” I suggested.

  He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me, his eyes boring into me as he thought about what I had just said.

  “Alrecht, but ye have tae promise me one thin’.”

  “And what is that?”

  “If ‘at Richards tooches ye Ah git tae beat th’ shit oot oov him.”

  I grin
ned at him, knowing that was something I could most definitely promise as long as I didn’t get to him first.

  Chapter 11

  I stood in the bathroom of my hospital room, having just gotten out of the shower and standing before the mirror in my underwear. McGrady had left and grabbed a bag for me from the house so I wouldn’t have to go back there to see the carnage Addi’s room had turned into. I had gone to see her while he was gone, but she was passed out on pain medication. Her back had been torn to near shreds, and she had lost a lot of blood, causing her to need an infusion when she had been brought in.

  My stitches had been pulled earlier in the day when I had woken up. There was no longer any need for them because of the rapid healing those within the Van Helsing line experienced, just like the preternaturally strong bones that weren’t easy to break. Skin was a different story, and I could still get hurt like everyone else in that department, but healing was much faster. It didn’t mean that what I saw carved into my flesh wasn’t still a terrifying sight to behold. The cuts were still healing up, a thin crimson line surrounded by puffy and angry pink swelling. The old Gnostic letters carved the deepest, the male figure in the center depicting Abraxas. The Knights Templar regularly used this image on their shields for luck in battle, but this was different. And then it hit me. Abraxas also had origins in Egyptian Gnosticism and Jewish scripture, all meaning different things to each faith. As a demon, it was the word use to describe a Supreme Being whose name should not be uttered and contained the solar power of our sun, which could definitely explain the shadows and their indeterminable source. There was no way to know for sure until we dug a little deeper.

  I sighed; reaching into my bag and digging out the container of pure shae butter I had bought from a street market that would help to cut down on the scarring. It had been recommended to me years ago and, for small wounds, it helped quite a lot, but I wasn’t sure if it would help with this. I removed the cap from the small glass jar and scooped some onto my fingers, smearing the thick butter over my skin and rubbing it in as best as I could as not to cause my shirt to stick to me.