Strictly Forbidden

by Shayla Black

  She wished Darius were here so she could talk to him. Her brother seemed to believe Gavin had some interest in her beyond a familial connection. Her heart raced at the thought. Darius clearly thought Gavin had no honorable intentions where she was concerned, but the tenderness on his face earlier today had seemed so real. He seemed a far cry from the haughty duke she had met on her first day at Norfield Park, thank goodness.

  Rolling over, Kira punched her pillow. Did Gavin share her feelings? That question was even more difficult to answer. The sincerity in his eyes, and yesterday in his voice, all hinted at his caring. But did he admire her as someone who would soon be a sister to him? Or had he, like her, fallen in love while they spent time together in the name of family harmony?

  Oh, would that she knew the answer!

  Maybe she could discern it. Kira sat straight up in bed. Yes, she would find Gavin tomorrow and ascertain his feeling for her… somehow. Certainly some opportunity would present itself.

  Once she knew Gavin’s feelings, then her path would become clear. And she would act accordingly.

  Chapter Ten

  In her body’s effort to make up for her midnight restlessness, Kira overslept. When she opened a groggy eye and realized the hour to be much closer to noon than dawn, she shrieked and hopped out of bed.

  Drat! The rest of the household would be up now, and the special time that she and Gavin often shared in the early morning had long ago passed. Kira hoped she could still find him alone somewhere and could discover the answer to the question that burned in her mind: did he love her?

  After a very quick morning toilet, Kira emerged to find Gavin had gone somewhere with Mr. Taylor, Lady Madeline’s husband. Their railroad was due to open in just over three weeks. James did not know when Gavin would return.

  Kira’s heart burst with curiosity and tumult—and guilt. While James did not love her, he had extended her an honorable offer of marriage. She had accepted it. And she should honor her promises. Yet… James only married her out of pity. If she could find love with Gavin, why should she and James be bound for life when their only motivations to join were sympathy and desperation?

  And dare she forget Darius’s warning that Gavin wanted her, but not for marriage?

  Confused, Kira wandered into the withdrawing room. James sat inside, Bible open. She lowered herself to a pale green chaise that was fast becoming her household haunt. She contemplated her next act, biting her lip. On the chair beside her, James spoke of what he must do to establish his parish in Tunbridge Wells after their marriage. She nodded politely where appropriate.

  Within minutes, Kira heard the boom of a male voice at the front door. She rose, heart beating. Had Gavin returned so quickly?

  Racing to the parlor door, she nearly collided with Gavin’s butler. He stepped back and pulled on his lapels while stiffening his ancient spine. His lined face sagged with disapproval.

  “A Mr. Burgess here to see you, Miss Melbourne.”

  Mr. Burgess here?

  “Who is Mr. Burgess?” James queried, standing behind her.

  Kira turned, her mind racing. Was Darius hurt? Ill?

  “He is a friend of my brother’s. In fact, Darius informed me that he would be with Mr. Burgess for the next few weeks in Yorkshire.”

  Kira turned to find James wearing a puzzled expression. “But Mr. Burgess is here.”

  “Exactly.” Kira nodded to the butler. “Please show him in right away.”

  After seating herself, Kira fidgeted until Mr. Burgess entered the room. Sunlight slanted through the windows and onto the young man’s craggy countenance. He had a Northman’s manner, simple in dress and plain in speech. Kira had always liked him.

  “Miss Melbourne.” He greeted her with a nod. “Good to see you.”

  “And you. How is your wife?”

  Mr. Burgess ran his fingers through his thinning dark hair. “Quite well. Expecting a babe come July.”

  “Excellent news.” Kira chafed against the chatter. If the man had come to tell her something dreadful had happened to her brother, why did he not just spit it out?

  But Mr. Burgess seemed disinclined to say much of anything. Kira filled the silence. “This is my fiancé, Mr. James Howland.”

  Burgess stepped forward and greeted James. After a hearty handshake that nearly made James wince, they all sat.

  “It’s wonderful to see you,” said Kira. “Though I understood from my brother that you were in Yorkshire.”

  Her guest shook his head. “I won’t return there until next month. Got business here for now.”

  “I see,” she murmured, though she did not. “Have you recently been in Yorkshire?”

  Again, the man shook his head. Kira began to worry.

  “Do you know the famous barrister Mr. Farrow?”

  The question clearly puzzled her visitor. “In passing.”

  So, Mr. Farrow wasn’t a wonderful friend of Mr. Burgess. And likely the barrister hadn’t gone to Yorkshire, either. Which meant Darius had lied to her. Worse, she feared she knew why. “You have not seen my brother of late, have you?”

  Burgess leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, hunching his hulking shoulders. “Nearly a week past.”

  “Do you know where he is?”

  “That is why I came to see you,” Burgess confessed. “When Darius last visited me, he asked me to care for you should anything happen to him.”

  Kira gasped, suddenly chilled to her core. “Dear God.”

  “What’s that you say?” James queried.

  The man went on. “Darius swore me to silence, but I could keep this to myself no longer. He’s left London. I think he’s bound for Cornwall, based on a letter he intercepted. It was addressed to a Mrs. Linde, but I do not know who she is.”

  “Who wrote the letter?” Kira asked, fearing Mr. Burgess would utter the one name that had recently caused her such grief.

  “He did not say.”

  The man’s tight-lipped reply did not satisfy her.

  “But…”

  Burgess hesitated, shrugged, then sighed. “I suspect it was from Lord Vance.”

  Panic crept inside her. Darius had not forgotten Lord Vance’s perfidy. He’d only pursued it secretly, even lying to her so she would be unaware of his plans. And he’d been clutching a letter in his fist when he announced his departure.

  Kira clasped trembling hands together, fighting tears. “Why could Darius not let the matter be? Doesn’t he realize that pursuing Lord Vance is… Oh, it’s dangerous.”

  In fact, she knew personally that the man carried a terrible looking knife. She suspected from his ease with the weapon that he knew how to use it quite well.

  Around her, James and Mr. Burgess said nothing.

  “I’m so grateful that you came to me with the truth,” she said to her brother’s friend. “I’m sure it was a difficult decision to break your promise.”

  Mr. Burgess nodded as he rose to his feet. “But I think it was the right one.”

  Across the mahogany library table, Kira rose as well. “I just hope we’re not too late to save him from something rash.”

  * * * *

  Once Mr. Burgess left, Kira turned to James. The concern on his face told her he grasped the situation perfectly.

  “Why would Darius do such a thing?”

  James placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “He loves you. Perhaps he believes he has information to discredit Lord Vance.”

  Kira was sure he believed that. The stubborn fool. “Even if he does, it will hardly signify once—” she and James wed.

  Kira stumbled, stopped. This morning’s dilemma returned in full force. Gavin. His feelings. Her decision. Lord, could this day get any more complicated?

  “Once we’re married, I know,” James finished for her. “But if he is in danger…”

  “I’m certain he is. Lord Vance said nothing to me of his dealings during our elopement.” In truth, she’d suspected within hours that he had no intent to marry
her. But to this day, she did not understand why he had kept her against her will or for what reason he had proposed in deception. His insistent, intimate examination to ensure her purity as his bride had been but one act in a list of humiliations.

  She did know, however, that he possessed a nasty temper. And that he was most definitely hiding something. Kira wished she knew what.

  James released a heavy sigh. “Your brother’s intentions are pure.”

  “And worrisome!” Appalling possibilities bombarded her. “What if Darius’s nobility gets him hurt, or worse, killed?”

  All along she had believed he would at least wait until after her wedding before acting. She had hoped that after her nuptials, he would see that Lord Vance’s lies were no longer of import to the ton. But he had not waited, and she had hoped in vain. Now what?

  “You must calm yourself, Miss Melbourne.”

  “No, I must go after him,” Kira said, her mind already racing to the job of packing a few belongings so she might be gone.

  “You cannot be serious.”

  Kira turned to stare at James. She had never heard him sound so adamant about anything.

  “I am. I have no choice. I will return as soon as may be.”

  James shook his head, dismay molding his pale features. “You are a woman. You cannot travel alone across the countryside! People will talk.”

  People would talk regardless. “I cannot care when Darius’s safety is at risk.”

  “I understand your concern, but it is unsafe. There are all manner of thieves and vagabonds about. They would think nothing of—of abusing your…person if the whim struck them.”

  He was right, Kira knew. But that changed nothing. “I cannot sit here in concern for myself when my brother is chasing a man I know to be dangerous.”

  Resignation floated across James’s face. “Then I shall go.”

  “But—”

  “I am three days away from being your husband. Darius is much like a brother to me. Let me find him. Stay here safely with Mama and Gavin.”

  Kira did not want to stay behind. She wanted her brother back in one piece. “Let us go together.”

  James reared back. “Impossible. We are not yet wed, and to marry now, we would have to petition for a special license or journey back to Norfield Park and wed Monday, after the last of the banns.”

  “James, I appreciate your concern for my reputation, but no one need know. Besides, I do not care for my reputation when Darius is at risk.”

  “Have a care for me,” he implored. “My post at Tunbridge Wells is very important. If I find myself embroiled in scandal before I even arrive, I’ll be dismissed.”

  Kira paced, roving from one side of the room to the other in restless thought. But she could not escape the fact he was right. James had done so much for her, offered her so much aid. She could not repay him by jeopardizing his new post simply to ease the pain of her waiting.

  Resignation weighed inside her like a boulder. “I understand. I will remain here.”

  “Good girl.” James smiled softly.

  “But you must promise to write me very often with the word of your safety and news of Darius.”

  He nodded. “I will send daily messages if I am able. And with your leave, I will ready myself so that I may depart before sundown.” He patted her cheek with a soft hand. “And worry not, I will bring Darius back with me very soon, and we will then exchange vows.”

  Kira grasped his hands and squeezed. “Be very careful.”

  “I shall return so quickly, you will not have but a moment to miss me, I promise.”

  Kira hoped that was a promise James could keep.

  * * * *

  The following evening, Gavin returned to the London townhouse exhausted and irritable.

  An emergency with the T & S railroad had taken him nearly halfway to Birmingham to deal with a collapsed tunnel and seven men nearly buried alive. Luckily, every worker had been saved. He and Brock had both agreed to pension off a man who had lost his leg in the unfortunate incident.

  And all the while, Kira had been on his mind. The hurt in her eyes, the yearning on her face, her utter beauty lingered in his thoughts. He’d missed hearing her laugh. He had missed hearing her sing. How bloody ridiculous was that? He even wished a time or two just for her quiet conversation.

  But ultimately the time away from Kira had brought renewed perspective, as well as a reassertion of the more practical side of his nature. He'd been far too focused on her beauty and kindness of late, conveniently forgetting the reality of her past, her liaison with Vance. He’d let his lust and his fondness for her interfere with his goals.

  She was due to wed his cousin in two days and Gavin still had not proven to James that Miss Melbourne was a woman of easy virtue, and therefore, not the wife for him. Oh, he found Kira intelligent and kind still. But that did not change the fact she had gone away with Lord Vance for two days and returned unmarried. Gossip still swirled, ugly as ever. Nor did it change the knowledge that she and James were ill suited as husband and wife.

  Gavin had a plan to open James’s eyes. And it started tonight, as his foolish empathy for her must end.

  Bounding up the stairs, he struggled out of his coat, bellowing for his valet as he went. Hanson, bless the wonderful man, followed dutifully, despite being bedraggled from the arduous journey himself.

  Gavin tore into his room, darted to his secretary, and extracted paper, quill, and ink. He penned off a quick note and handed it to the older man. “Wait one half hour and give this to my cousin, Mr. Howland. No one else.”

  “Yes, your grace.”

  Hanson always completed tasks well. Satisfied, Gavin raked his fingers through the windblown muss of his hair. He needed another damned haircut. His hair was curling at the ends, which made him look both wild and disorderly. He refused to be either. Knowing there was no time to deal with the issue now, Gavin donned a clean shirt. A glance at his pocket watch confirmed the hour shortly after ten o’clock. Aunt Caroline would just be reaching her first ton gathering for the night. James, who always avoided such things when possible, would likely be in his bedroom reading some spiritual tome.

  Which left Gavin free to begin the seduction.

  The mirror told him he looked presentable enough to entice an easy woman. He disliked thinking of Kira in such terms, but it was the truth. And if he wanted to protect James’s future and keep Aunt Caroline from a fit of the vapors, he would have to set aside this ridiculous soft spot he had developed for Kira Melbourne and, because they were not well matched, he must put an end to this engagement between she and James before they made one another miserable for the rest of their lives.

  And he had to do it now.

  Rushing out of his room, he went in search of her. He was pleased to find Kira exactly where he wanted her—in the library. How fortuitous.

  At his entry, Kira spun around. Surprise molded her exotic features, widened her sloe-eyes of blue, and opened the lush perfection of her mouth. He’d clearly caught her moments before she retired for the night. She wore a nightrail of soft white linen embroidered with pale flowers and a simple wrapper in a buttery yellow. She held a book, and he could only imagine she had come in search of something to help her find slumber. The absence of her corsets, petticoats, and stays gave him an excellent impression of her enticing figure.

  It was a good thing his plan to compromise her included kissing Kira—and touching her at least a bit. For he’d thought of little else on his journey home tonight. And seeing her without all the usual constrictive undergarments was only filling his head with further suggestions.

  As if she could read his thoughts, Kira tugged the edges of her wrapper a bit more tightly around her. Gavin had little doubt she knew exactly how arousing men found her virtuous sham.

  He smiled extra wide and slanted her a charming stare. “Kira, how good to see you. I trust you’re well.”

  She scurried behind his massive sofa, looking ill at ease in her bed clo
thes and sent him an awkward smile. “Well enough, yes. But—”

  “Excellent.” He approached her, hands outstretched. “Have you no greeting for me?”

  The closer he strode, the wider her eyes turned. Finally, he grasped her hands in his. Her stiff resistance did not please him. Was there a chance she would refuse his advances?

  “Of course, but—”

  “Are you not happy to see me? I’ve thought so much about you since I’ve been away,” he whispered, edging onto the sofa that stood as a barrier between them.

  Her face softened. A hopeful smile played at her mouth. “You have?”

  “You are not an easy woman to forget.”

  That much was true, but Gavin hoped she did not hear the wry quality of his tone. Her cheeks flushed prettily a moment later, and he felt sure he was safe.

  “It’s been a dreadful few days,” he lamented.

  “I’m sorry.” Compassion softened her face. “What happened?”

  Briefly, he told her. She gasped, genuinely upset to hear that a man had lost his leg. Kira had a kind heart. Often, she was a perfectly lovely woman. But she was also a loose woman, a woman with a scandal, a woman with problems—a woman who would only make life difficult for his family. He must remember that.

  He took a discreet glance at his pocket watch. Twenty-four minutes until James’s arrival, until he showed his cousin one of the many reasons Kira would not be the kind of wife he needed.

  “Will the collapse delay the opening of the railroad?” Kira asked, genuinely concerned.

  “By a week, perhaps two. But no more talk of business. I’m heartily tired of it, and quite happy to be here with you.”

  She smiled at his words, her eyes soft. Then her expression slipped into a frown. “I must speak to you about one more matter. James—”

  “No. Let’s talk of my cousin later, shall we?” Gavin did not want Kira reminded of the fact she had a fiancé. If she had any conscience, conversation about James would likely awaken it.