Only For You (Forever and Always, Book #1)

by E. L. Todd

  Brian turned to me again. “Did something happen with Penelope?”

  I shifted my weight and released a sigh. This elevator was so fucking slow. I had nowhere to run, or any way to escape my colleague. I secretly hoped that Penelope would come back to me, so I didn’t want to announce to everyone that the relationship was over, but I knew in my heart that she wouldn’t. She made that clear. “We broke up.”

  “What?” he asked incredulously. “What happened?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “So, she ended it?”

  I nodded.

  Brian clapped me on the shoulder. “It’ll be okay, man. I’m here for you.”

  I nodded my thanks, too upset to speak.

  The elevator finally stopped and the door slid open. I immediately advanced down the hallway without acknowledging anyone, not even my assistant, and went straight into my office, shutting the door behind me. I sat behind my desk and dove into my work. The work was enough to distract me for a few hours, but Penelope kept probing my mind every few minutes, and after lunchtime, I finally let her in. I stared blankly at my computer screen as I thought about her. I replayed the night she broke up with me and remembered every word she said with such vivid clarity. Despite my binding control over my emotions, I felt my eyes coat with tears, but I forced them back into the recesses of my body. I was at work. I couldn’t break down right then. Confusion was also a major emotion that I was battling. Why would she leave? I thought we were happy. Weren’t we? I was. I gave her everything she could ever possibly need, including my undying devotion and loyalty to her, something usually impossible to find in a partner. Why didn’t she want me? I had a good job, came from a prosperous family, I took care of myself, and most importantly—I took care of her. Every day, I told her how beautiful she was. Whenever we made love, I made sure she was always satisfied. I let her keep her independence, and never acted jealous when I saw her with other guys, even though it killed me if they even touched her. What did I do wrong?

  The memory of our recent trip to visit my family in Connecticut came back to me. It was just a few weeks ago. Did she know then? The dress she wore clung to her body in a way that made my heart rush just by looking at her, and the way her hair would fall loose from her clip made me stare at her nonstop. A more beautiful woman I had never seen, and I even told her that while we were standing next to the dance floor of my cousin’s outdoor wedding. She smiled at me.

  “Thank you.”

  My fingers caressed the strand of hair and I tucked it behind her ear. She stared at me while I touched her gently. I wondered what she was thinking about in that moment, if she was feeling what I was feeling.

  “I love you,” I said.

  She leaned in and kissed me gently.

  I wanted to propose to her, had been planning on it for a while, but I couldn’t plan a proposal that was good enough for her. I wanted it to be amazing and awe-inspiring. I wanted her to cry. It had to be perfect, nothing less was acceptable for the love of my life.

  “I can’t believe how lucky I am,” I said.

  She grabbed my hand in hers and played with my fingers. “I know.”

  I tightened my grip around her waist and held her close. My entire family was there, probably watching us, but I didn’t care. Nothing would stop me from being affectionate towards the woman of my dreams. I loved her and I didn’t care how obvious that was. I told my mother that Scarlet and I picked out the ring, and she seemed happy for me, happy that I found someone.

  The phone in my office rang and scattered my thoughts. I grabbed it, wondering why my assistant had transferred the call into my office without notifying me first.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey,” she said. I recognized her voice. “How is your day going?”

  I sighed. “It’s passing me by.”

  Scarlet didn’t say anything for a moment. “What did you eat for lunch?”

  “Nothing,” I said. “You?”

  “A hot dog.”

  Despite the hollow pain in my chest, I laughed. “From the same vendor?”

  I could hear the smile in Scarlet’s voice. “Yes,” she admitted.

  “Did you eat this one off the ground too?”

  “No.” She laughed. “I was lucky this time.”

  “I’m glad that you are becoming a classy lady,” I teased.

  “Who are you calling classy?” she said. “I’m a real woman, not some unrealistic fantasy and I like it that way.”

  I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. “I like you that way, too.”

  “No,” she replied. “You love me that way.”

  I smiled. “Yes, I’ll admit that.”

  “Well, I should get going,” she said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  I sighed, not wanting to end the conversation. For the first time that day, I felt happy and I didn’t want to lose that feeling. Scarlet was the only one that could dull the pain I felt. Somehow, she made me feel better without even trying. “Thank you—for calling me.”

  “Bye, Sean.”

  “Bye.”

  I waited for her to hang up first, and I listened to the dead line for a second before I returned the phone to the receiver. The white screen of the computer shined in my face and I started to read where I left off, but my mind kept drifting back to Scarlet. I decided I would run to her as soon as my day at work had ended. I needed her.

  5

  Scarlet

  Janice and I went to the deli across the street on our afternoon break. Janice suggested I bring Carl back a sandwich to play nice, and I almost punched her for making the ridiculous comment. She smiled at me when she saw my eyes widen in unspent rage.

  “I don’t think a cheap sandwich is going to change anything, Janice.”

  “Yea,” she said. “It doesn’t compete with a blow job.”

  I started laughing despite the vulgarity of the comment, and soon I was choking on the end of my sandwich. Janice handed me her water to wash it down with. “You have a point,” I said. “Has Carl ever treated you this way?”

  “Yes,” she said. “But not nearly as bad as he treats you. You see, I actually do my job.”

  “Fuck you, Janice.” I knew she was kidding, but the unprofessional rebuttal flew from my mouth. She laughed at my retort. She knew I was kidding as well.

  Janice pulled back her sleeve and looked at the hour on her watch, checking how much time we had left. “What did you do last night?” she asked as she pulled down her sleeve. “I remember you said you had somewhere to be.”

  “Yeah,” I replied. “I went to Sean’s place.”

  “What’s the urgency in that?”

  “He’s—going through a hard time,” I said slowly. I didn’t want to divulge his secrets to someone he didn’t even know. “We hung out and I slept over.”

  “What?” she asked. “Did you guys fuck?”

  “No!” I snapped. “Of course we didn’t.”

  “Sean must be gay,” she said.

  “He isn’t.”

  “Then he’s at least bi.”

  “Janice—he isn’t gay.”

  “Then there’s something wrong with him. Come on, Scarlet. You are gorgeous. Any time we go out, men are practically ripping out their hearts and handing them to you. Something must have happened between you at some point. There is no such thing as a platonic friendship between a man and a woman—if they’re both straight.”

  “Well, our relationship is platonic. And no, nothing has ever happened between us—ever. And he definitely isn’t gay. His longtime girlfriend just broke up with him and he is heartbroken over it.”

  “Are you making that up?”

  “No.” I sighed. “I’m being serious.”

  “Then he must be hideous.”

  “Not at all,” I countered. “He is very handsome.”

  Janice watched me for a moment and I knew what she was going to say. “You have feelings for him, don’t you?”

  “No, Janice. I really
don’t.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and was silent. I was hoping she would drop this subject, but I knew Janice better than that. “You’ve never had a boyfriend since I’ve known you,” she said. “I never even hear you talk about men you are dating—or even think are cute.”

  “Just because I don’t talk about my personal life doesn’t mean I don’t have one.”

  “You sure talk about Sean a lot.”

  “That’s because you always ask me about him.”

  “I think you—”

  “I don’t!” I interrupted her. “Now drop it, Janice.”

  “Fine, I will,” she said. “But you have to let me set you up with someone.”

  “I can get my own dates,” I snapped.

  “Then go on a date this weekend. I want proof that it actually happened.”

  “Well, I’m going to a charity event for Sean’s firm on Saturday night.”

  “Well, there’s Friday night too,” she pressed. “If you can’t find someone, I’ll help you.” She squirmed in her seat, clearly delighted by the idea of finding my future boyfriend and soul mate.

  “What about you, Janice? What happened to Russell?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I got rid of him like an old pair of jeans. He wasn’t right for me.”

  “Can I set you up with someone?” Now it was my turn for payback.

  “How about Sean?” She smiled.

  “Are you joking?” I asked.

  “No,” she said, smiling mischievously. “You said he’s available, right? And you have no interest in him.”

  “He just got out of a relationship, Janice. Sean is a complete mess.”

  “I’m okay with that.” She continued to smile at me but her grin dropped when she saw the unease on my face. “If you don’t want me to meet him because you have feelings for him, I completely understand.”

  “That isn’t why,” I snapped again. I wasn’t usually so short with Janice but Sean was a sensitive topic.

  “Sure it is.”

  “I hate you, Janice.”

  “I love you, too.”

  I smiled at her. I couldn’t help but be moved by her charms. She was the only friend I had at R and R, especially now that everyone assumed I couldn’t do my job right. The day hadn’t been such a bad one. Carl didn’t come into the office all morning, or at least I hadn’t seen him, and I placed the edited manuscript in his box before I left the day before. Perhaps he died in a violent car crash and experienced a slow and painful death. I forced the thoughts from my mind. I was enjoying them too much.

  When we returned to the office, I noticed that Carl had returned to work, much to my displeasure. I sat in my cubicle and tried to ignore him. I knew he would make his way over to nag at me eventually.

  I checked my email and responded to an inquiry from one of the authors who had sent us her manuscript a month earlier. She was asking about the manuscript I just edited, the one I had been yelled at about. I told her I just finished it and sent it to the chief copy editor. I emailed her a copy of my edited work and notified her that it had been sent.

  “Hello, Ms. Reese.”

  The sound of the woman’s voice almost made me jump. I hadn’t heard her approach. When I looked up, I recognized Gloria, the head of human resources, and I felt my heart fall in my chest at the sight of her. I knew this wasn’t going to be good.

  “Could you come with me, please?” she said seriously.

  I sat still for a moment, unsure of what to do. Should I grab my belongings since she is probably going to fire me? Finally, I rose from my chair and turned towards Janice, whose eyes were wide open with alarm. I followed the woman down the hallway, towards the human resources department.

  When we walked into her office, she turned around and looked at me. “Take a seat,” she said as she pointed to the chair in front of her desk. I lowered my body into the seat and held my hands together, feeling the sweat drip off my fingers. I retained the calm demeanor on my face and appeared poised and stoic, hiding the true unease I felt.

  “It has come to our attention that you have been spreading falsehoods and disrespecting the chief copy editor in your department, Carl Rogers. This kind of harassment is strictly prohibited in this company, and we explained this to you the day you were hired. You signed an agreement indicating your understanding.”

  What? “I’m sorry, Gloria—”

  “Mrs. Peterson,” she corrected.

  “I mean—Mrs. Peterson,” I repeated. “I can assure you that I have no idea what you are referring to. Please explain the incident you are speaking of.”

  “Very well.” She sighed. She pressed the intercom and spoke to her assistant. “Please bring Candice to my office, Jean.”

  “Will do, Mrs. Peterson,” Jean said.

  Now I felt even more confused. I had no idea what Candice, my fellow editor, had to do with this meeting. I never even talked to the girl—ever.

  Mrs. Peterson pulled a document closer to her and read aloud. “Apparently, you made some inappropriate comments about Mr. Roger’s personal life and his physical features to another woman in your office, stating that he was, and I quote, “ugly as shit” and “a dumb fuck”. Please excuse my language.”

  I felt my heart sink. Yes, I did say those very words, but I only mentioned them to one person: Janice. I felt the anger rise in my throat at the betrayal of my friend. I couldn’t believe she would do such a thing.

  “Do you deny these allegations?” she asked.

  I didn’t know what to do. My mind was racing, searching for an answer. I had to come up with a reasonable lie to get out of the mess I created. Even though I hated my job, I didn’t want to get sacked—I had to pay rent. “Yes, I do.”

  She raised an eyebrow at me. “Really?” she asked. “Because we have a witness who claims that you did.”

  I shook my head. “I do not deny saying those words, but I wasn’t referring to Carl.”

  “Then who were you referring to?”

  “My boyfriend—Sean,” I said quickly. I couldn’t think of anyone else. “I admit I shouldn’t have been discussing personal information with a coworker, and I apologize if it was misconstrued in a negative way, but I was not referring to my boss and colleague, Mr. Rogers.”

  Mrs. Peterson stared at me for a long moment, searching my face for a trace of a lie. “Well, it seems that our witness will be the judge of that.”

  The intercom went off. “She is here, Mrs. Peterson.”

  She pressed the button. “Send her in.”

  Candice walked into the room, but I didn’t look at her. I had no idea what this woman could possibly say. Her cubicle was nowhere near mine. How she overheard my conversation was a mystery, but then the realization dawned on me. She was at the water cooler when it happened. I couldn’t believe she was turning me in. I thought everyone hated Carl.

  “Could you please tell us what happened, Candice?”

  “Yes, of course,” she said. “Scarlet turned to our colleague, Janice, and said that he was an ugly piece of shit and no one wanted to fuck him. She also said he was the worst chief copy editor ever.”

  “And how do you know she was referring to Mr. Rogers?” Mrs. Peterson asked.

  “She said his name,” Candice said.

  What a fucking bitch. She was obviously getting something in return for getting me fired. “No, I didn’t,” I argued. “I never said the name Carl when I was talking.”

  “Did you say chief copy editor?” Mrs. Peterson asked. “You haven’t denied that claim.”

  “Yes, I did say chief copy editor.”

  Candice finally looked at me. “She admits it. She was referring to Carl, who is the only chief copy editor in this building. She couldn’t be referencing anyone else.”

  I was about to knock that bitch out. “There are other chief copy editors in the world, you know, Candice. Perhaps when you heard editor, you assumed I said Carl, when in fact, I did not.”

  “So, you are saying
Sean is a copy editor, your boyfriend?” Mrs. Peterson asked.

  “Yes, he is,” I said.

  “Well, that’s ironic,” Mrs. Peterson said.

  She stared at me for a moment before she looked at Candice. “Thank you, Candice. You are excused.”

  Candice walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

  “Since there are no other witnesses to this event, the charges will be dropped. However, if there is any more trouble that comes from you, we have the right to terminate your employment under the reasoning that you are a disruption to the work environment.”

  I couldn’t believe what was happening. Carl was the problem, not me. He was the one who fucked half the office, threatening to terminate people unless he got what he wanted.

  “You may go,” she said.

  “Thank you,” I forced myself to say.

  I left the room and shut the door behind me. I returned to my cubicle and sat in my seat, getting back to work like nothing happened. I didn’t look at Candice or Janice, wanting to keep my aura of indifference. Carl would be furious that I hadn’t been fired, and I wanted to seem completely unaffected by the interrogation I’d just had. I wanted to win.

  Janice scooted closer to me. “What happened?” she asked.

  “I’ll email it to you.” I didn’t want to be overheard and I didn’t want to get caught writing a personal email on my work computer, so I composed an email from my phone with my personal address and sent it to Janice. I heard her gasp when she read the email.

  Carl approached my desk and I felt him stare at me. After a moment, I finally turned to him with a smile on my face, trying to be completely professional. I knew everyone was watching our interaction and I wanted to appear as unthreatening as possible. I needed that job until I found another one.

  Carl placed a five hundred page manuscript on my desk. “I need this done by first thing in the morning.”

  I looked through the pages and quickly realized it was a historical fiction novel, not my realm of expertise, and it required fact checks and history references. I couldn’t complete it in twelve hours. The idea was ridiculous. I was specifically hired as a fiction editor. I looked at the top of the manuscript and saw the receipt time of the novel. It was sent to our office two hours earlier. I knew exactly what Carl was doing. He was determined to find any reason to fire me.