All I Want For Christmas

by Ann Roth

  “I’m very fond of her, too. She’s such a special girl.”

  Eyes didn’t lie, and Tina’s were full of feeling. Ryan couldn’t stop a smirk. “Yeah, but you’re leaving.” Like all the other women Maggie had loved and trusted. “What the hell am I supposed to do after you’re gone?”

  That day would come fast, all too fast. He thought he saw regret in Tina’s face. Or was that his own wishful thinking?

  “Without a mother’s love, she’ll gravitate toward any adult female who shows her genuine affection,” Tina said. “That’s what I did. How do you think I came to know G. G. so well? But Maggie also called me her friend, and she said she understood about my leaving. Maybe she really does and you’re worried unnecessarily.”

  “I know my kid. No matter what she said tonight, when you leave, her heart will break. And dammit, there’s not a thing I can do to stop it.”

  Eyes dark with remorse, Tina shook her head. “I’m sorry, Ryan.”

  He was, too. “‘Sorry’ won’t make this any easier on her. You’ve walked in Maggie’s shoes. Any ideas how to help?”

  “Um, maybe a child psychologist?”

  The thought of his daughter pouring her heart out to some neutral third party didn’t sit all that well with Ryan. “No thanks. Any other suggestions?”

  “Well, I know you don’t want to hear this, but Maggie needs a mother.”

  As if he’d ever get married again. Liking this idea even less, he swore.

  Tina winced. “I guess that’s not what you wanted to hear. But it’s the truth. She has all this love to give, and a deep yearning to feel a mother’s love. That’s why she used the L word with me.”

  Tina should know. It did make sense. For a second, Ryan wished he could go back in time and comfort the lonely child Tina had been. But hell, he couldn’t even do that for his own daughter.

  “Could be,” he said. “But I’m through with marriage.” He looked at her straight on, to make sure she heard him. “There’ll be no mother for Maggie.”

  “Okay, then, what about a mother figure, a woman around my age, to spend quality time with her. It can’t be me, of course, since I’m leaving…”

  Her glum face told him that his hunch a second ago had been right, and she’d be sorry to leave Maggie. But Ryan was no fool. Once Tina got that promotion, she wouldn’t have time to think about his daughter.

  “There must be someone who lives in town who can become a regular part of her life,” Tina said.

  “You think there’s a woman alive who’ll hang out with us, knowing I’ll never date her or put a ring on her finger?” Ryan scoffed. “Not very likely.”

  “You don’t know if you don’t look.”

  He wasn’t about to do that. “Risk another attachment that ends with loss? No, thanks.”

  Tina let out an exasperated breath. “Why did you ask for advice, when you clearly don’t want it?”

  “I don’t know.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. “Damn, but I’ve made some bad choices with women. I’ve totally screwed up Maggie’s life.”

  “Not with your wife. She died. That wasn’t your fault.”

  “No, but we were talking divorce at the time. Heidi was too busy climbing the corporate ladder at her law firm to care much about Maggie or me. She never even wanted kids, but I pushed her to have a baby anyway. I thought it would bring us closer together.” He snickered. “What a joke.”

  He’d never told anyone that before, and he couldn’t believe he’d shared something so personal with Tina. By the look of her wide eyes, she couldn’t quite believe it, either. God knew what she’d think of him now.

  “Everybody makes mistakes, Ryan,” she said, with a nonjudgmental tone that surprised him. “I certainly have.”

  “But your mistakes didn’t hurt a helpless child.”

  “You’re right, there. There are no children in my life.”

  Her melancholy smile confused him and made his chest ache. “Why so sad?” he said.

  “Nothing important. Just think about the way you were with Maggie tonight—you’re a wonderful father, Ryan.”

  “Then why is it she still has nightmares?” The anguish evident in his own voice should have embarrassed him, but he was too distressed to care. “I’ve tried everything—talking them through and explaining that the monsters and bad people aren’t real, promising to keep her safe, leaving the lights on. Nothing works.”

  “Hey, you.” Suddenly, Tina was standing beside him, and resting her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up about this.”

  Her touch reassured him and eased the tension that had tied knots in his muscles. He covered her hand with his own. And when she tried to move away, he kept hold of her. “Sit here.” He pulled her onto the arm of the recliner.

  She swiveled to face him, her eyes large and luminous. So beautiful that once again he lost himself in them. He cleared his throat. Let go of her hand. “Tell me about your interview. When is it?”

  “This Thursday, which was totally unexpected. I’ve had to scramble to get help for G. G. The Rosses and Rose and Stanley and Norma have agreed to take turns and stay with her. She doesn’t want that, of course. Says she can take care of herself. But she’s too weak and in too much pain.” She stared at her lap. “I really don’t want to leave her, but she insists that I go. She’s more excited about this opportunity than…Well, she can hardly stand it.”

  “And you? Are you excited?” he asked, truly curious to know.

  “Not really. It’s just an interview.”

  “Nervous?”

  She shook her head. “My boss knows my work, and he knows me. But there are others who are just as qualified. One in particular, Kendra Eubanks. You never know.”

  “But you want that job, right?”

  “Of course I do.”

  She stood and fingered the V-neck of her sweater, then sat down on the sofa again.

  Ryan figured she must be worried about her competition. “You’ll get it.”

  “What makes you think so?”

  “You’re smart and confident, and everyone on the island says you’re great at what you do. And you want it. A boss can sense that hunger to get ahead.”

  “G. G. and the neighbors really want me to succeed.”

  She wouldn’t meet his eyes. Interesting.

  “And you don’t?”

  “I said I did.” She crossed her legs. “How are things at the bank?”

  “So-so.” He told her about the deposit-and-loan promotion and his staff’s low morale. “The fools at head office don’t seem to understand that if their employees are unhappy, the customers will be, too.”

  “Sort of like Maggie being happy if you’re happy.”

  “I guess.”

  He wanted badly to kiss the knowing slant right off her mouth. With effort he dragged his gaze away from those lips.

  “You don’t like working there, do you?”

  “Not much,” he said, before he could stop himself. “That’s between you and me, and no one else.”

  “I won’t say anything. But you don’t need the money, so why don’t you quit?”

  “What would I do all day? Besides, I enjoy banking. My beef is with the Island Banking Corporation.”

  “What a shame there aren’t other banks on the island.”

  “There would be, if I started another one.”

  A fantasy he’d kept to himself until now. Not only had he shared that tidbit, but he’d revealed private information about himself and Heidi—and he’d admitted he disliked his job.

  What had gotten into him tonight?

  “That’s a great idea,” Tina said. “You certainly have the know-how to start another bank.”

  “Yes, but start-ups take a huge chunk out of your life, for months on end. I can’t do that to Maggie.”

  Tina yawned, and Ryan glanced at his watch. Almost eleven. Nearly three hours had passed—a heck of a lot more time than he’d meant to spend with her.

  �
�It’s late,” she said, standing. “We both need sleep.”

  Ryan stood, too—and thought about sleeping with Tina. But if that happened, lust would actually keep him up most of the night. Emphasis on up. He stifled a smile. With or without Tina in his bed, he was in for a restless night.

  At the door, she turned to him.

  “You should’ve seen your face when you mentioned starting a bank, Ryan. You lit up. Don’t let go of what you really want. For you and for Maggie, be happy.”

  With her chin tilted and her eyes bright with conviction, she was irresistible. Powerless to fight his own instincts, he stroked her soft, warm cheek with his thumb. “Know what’d make me happy right now? Kissing you.”

  “I’d like that, too.” Her eyelids fluttered shut. She leaned forward, raised her face and offered him her lips.

  RYAN’S ARMS felt like heaven. Tina had known he’d wanted to kiss her for hours, since they’d first sat down to talk. She’d seen the desire in his eyes, and shared it.

  This kiss was even better than the ones the other night, and when his lips demanded more, she opened her mouth and tangled her tongue with his. He tasted faintly of jawbreaker and man, a combination that only fueled her hunger for him.

  She was wearing a V-neck sweater, and when he nuzzled and nipped the sensitive place at the crook of her neck she was glad she’d chosen it. Yearning to get even closer, she stood on her toes, grasped his shoulders and pressed against him. His chest was pleasantly hard against her breasts, and she felt his arousal against her hips.

  Then, thank you, Lord, Ryan’s hands were under the sweater. His palms slid up her back, bringing heat to her skin. When he reached her bra, he slid his fingertips across her rib cage, teasing the undersides of her breasts. Tina caught her breath, eased back ever so slightly and silently urged him to explore her breasts.

  He cupped her gently, while his thumbs brushed her nipples. Pleasure shot through her and went straight to the apex of her thighs. Dampness pooled there, along with an aching need. Moaning softly, she arched her chest, thrusting her breasts more heavily into his hands.

  Just when her knees threatened to buckle, it was over. Breathing hard, his eyes wild and hot, Ryan broke the contact. With unsteady hands, he pulled down her sweater.

  “Good night, Tina, and good luck on Thursday.”

  Thursday? Oh, the interview. “Thanks,” she managed. “’Night.”

  In a daze she headed back to G. G.’ s house.

  BY THE TIME the bank closed on Tuesday afternoon, Ryan was feeling as good as a man could, given that he was sexually frustrated and his daughter was suffering from nightmares. She’d had two bad dreams last night, no doubt triggered by Eggwhite’s escape. Ryan hoped that with the hamster safe in her cage, Maggie would have an easier time tonight.

  Nightmares aside, today he’d actually enjoyed his job. The first day of the bank promotion had gone well. His staff had worked hard and brought in more new business than expected. That ought to please Corporate.

  Now, with the doors closed, Ryan strode from his office, his footsteps echoing through the empty space. Serena and Danielle were counting money at their teller stations, which they’d decorated with cardboard turkeys and horns of plenty, in honor of Thanksgiving. Jason sat at his desk, filling out the usual reams of paperwork.

  “Great job today,” he told his employees.

  All three of them looked pleased.

  “Thanks to the signs and the newspaper ads, we sure were busy,” Jason said. “For once, Corporate did something right.”

  Ryan had to agree. Island Banking Corporation had come through for them. But the credit for this first successful day belonged to his staff. “Advertising helped, but you three did the hard work. You’re a crackerjack team, and I intend to let my superiors know just how valuable you are.”

  “They won’t care.” Danielle tucked her shoulder-length hair behind her ears and shrugged. “But I appreciate that you do.” She nodded at the bowl of lollipops on the customer side of her teller window. “Want a sucker, Ryan?”

  “Thanks.” He helped himself.

  “Hooray, I balanced,” Serena said, loading her rubber-banded stacks of cash into a bag. “Did you and Maggie do anything special yesterday?”

  “Just hung out together.”

  And after her meltdown, after she was asleep, the real fun had begun. Talking with Tina. Kissing and touching her, even though he knew better. Now he couldn’t get the taste of her, the feel of her breasts, out of his brain. What was it about Tina Morrell that pushed reason and common sense straight out of his head? He wasn’t about to analyze himself.

  “Maggie’s hamster escaped last night,” he added. “Luckily we found it.” He made a face, and his employees chuckled.

  “That must’ve been awful,” Serena said. “Ellie and Cameron share a guinea pig. If he got loose…” She shook her head. “It wouldn’t be pretty.”

  “It was a mess,” Ryan said. “You should have seen the carpet. I must’ve spent twenty minutes vacuuming.”

  He had meant to be funny. Instead, Serena and Danielle shot him pitying looks—a widower, raising his daughter alone. Ryan hated that. He and Maggie were doing okay. Except for the nightmares.

  He glanced at his watch. “Time to go home. Are we ready to lock up?”

  Five minutes later, they left the building. Thanks to the shorter number of daylight hours and the heavy rain clouds, the air was dark, cold and damp.

  Traffic was light—nonexistent, compared to L. A.—and Ryan drove home on automatic pilot, his thoughts on Tina.

  After what had happened last night, however, it was best to stick to his plan and steer clear of her. Between work, Maggie and Tina’s upcoming job interview in Seattle, avoiding the woman shouldn’t be difficult—at least until the weekend. By then, Ryan hoped he’d have a better grip on himself.

  Meanwhile, he’d make sure to remind Maggie that Tina was leaving soon. If he repeated that often enough, it might sink in—with both of them.

  He turned onto Huckleberry Hill Road. As he slowed to pull into his driveway, he couldn’t help noting that G. G.’ s living room and dining room were both lit up. The curtains were closed, though, and he couldn’t see inside. He wondered whether the older woman felt better today, but figured he’d find out when he picked up Maggie from the Featherstones’. That was safer than calling Tina and asking.

  He eased into the garage and killed the engine. As he strode toward the Featherstone house at the end of the cul-de-sac, he told himself that tonight he would not think about Tina at all. If Maggie mentioned her, he’d simply tune her out.

  In no time at all, he’d move past this ridiculous infatuation.

  Chapter Seven

  “Brace yourself for a bumpy landing,” D. J. Hatcher, the handsome thirtysomething pilot told Tina.

  The small seaplane—she was the lone passenger—dropped lower over Lake Washington and headed toward a small airstrip at the edge of the water north of Seattle.

  Tina tightened her seat belt, gripped the armrests and stared out her window. She was relieved to see that the cab she’d ordered was waiting. That would save precious time, and since she needed to stop by her apartment and change into a suit, and then meet with June before the interview, every minute counted.

  The plane had left Halo Island before eight, and the hour-long flight had been noisy and choppy. Thank heavens she didn’t have a queasy stomach. Burning, yes, and en route she’d popped an antacid and munched crackers in an effort to soothe her ulcer. She’d also used the time to look over her notes and prepare for her ten-thirty interview. Which, thanks to spending all her spare time working up ideas for Captain’s Catch, she hadn’t even thought about.

  Despite D. J.’s warning, the plane set down smoothly. It taxied across the water toward the small terminal, and seconds later it rolled to a stop.

  “That wasn’t bad at all,” Tina said.

  “We got lucky,” he quipped.

  As far as she k
new, D. J. had never crashed or caused his customers any harm, and she took the comment as a pilot’s attempt at humor. As antsy as she was about the interview, she barely mustered a smile.

  D. J. shut off the engine, then pulled off his earphones. In the sudden silence, Tina’s ears rang. “Thanks, D. J.” She unbuckled her seat belt, causing the pilot to shake his head.

  “Don’t get up just yet.”

  He slid from his seat and unlatched the door, his broad shoulders straining his chino shirt. He was an attractive man, but Tina’s interests lay elsewhere. On Ryan. She hadn’t seen him since Monday night—with G. G. to care for and everything else on her plate, who had time?—but she’d certainly thought about him. And the things he’d shared with her about his wife and his feelings about his job.

  Most of all, his kisses and his hands on her breasts. Even now, as stressed as she was, her body hummed at the memory.

  Don’t start, she chided herself. With so much riding on her upcoming interview, she couldn’t afford any distractions. Besides, what was the point of fantasizing? Ryan didn’t want to start something with her—even if he had kissed her and more. She didn’t want that, either. Really. Tina shifted in her seat. Liar. But what was, was, and G. G., Jefferson and the neighbors were counting on her to make them proud.

  She watched as D. J. climbed down the ladder that led to the dock. The best thing for Tina was to ace the interview, get the promotion and immerse herself in work. In no time, she’d forget all about Ryan Chase. If she wanted a family of her own, she’d bury the urge for another few years—until she achieved more, career-wise, and satisfied the people who loved her.

  As for Maggie…Tina wasn’t sure what to do about her. If only she could do something to stop the nightmares and lift the burdens from those tiny shoulders. But she couldn’t. Her best bet was to try to be Maggie’s friend, no matter what happened with her father.

  D. J. peered through the door. “All right, Tina, we’re set now.”

  She grabbed her portfolio from the overhead bin and D. J. offered her a hand down.

  “Good luck with that interview,” he said.