All I Want For Christmas

by Ann Roth

  Filled with misgivings, Tina picked up Sam’s brightly wrapped tetherball set and stepped outside. Marty closed the door behind her. The sunlight felt good on her face, and she drew in a breath of cold, fresh air and released it.

  Aside from a dog barking somewhere in the distance and the occasional sounds of distant cars on Treeline Road, all was quiet. So different from her noisy Seattle neighborhood. Tina hardly knew her neighbors there—another big difference.

  She headed along the stone walkway toward her car, which was parked in front of the carport. On the way, she glanced at Ryan’s house. She hadn’t seen him since Monday night. The front drapes were open. Tina quickly shifted her gaze—in case someone was looking out. Not that that was likely, this being the day father and daughter did their weekly cleaning. Actually, with the party starting soon, Maggie probably was upstairs getting ready.

  Tina had enjoyed the little girl’s visit late yesterday afternoon, and had been both sorry and relieved that she’d arrived home from the trip to the pharmacy after Ryan had picked her up. Sorry because she liked the man, and relieved for the same reason. She liked him way too much, and could easily fall for him.

  A man who didn’t want love or a relationship. Which really was for the best, since her life and her work were in Seattle.

  Still, feeling as she did, with the memory of Ryan’s sizzling kisses so fresh in her memory, it was best to see as little of him as possible. She was only here for another week. Unless G. G. stayed this sick, and Tina didn’t want to think about that. Surely by next Sunday she’d feel better. Regardless, aside from Thanksgiving dinner, to which Ryan and Maggie were invited, she would avoid him. When she did see him, she’d be friendly but distant. Nothing more. By the time they gathered again at G. G.’ s for Christmas dinner—no doubt Ryan and Maggie would be invited—she’d be completely over him.

  She reached around the unwieldy package to open the back door of her sedan. At the same time, Ryan’s front door opened. Maggie spilled through it and skipped across the big porch. Behind her, his face dark and unreadable, Ryan followed. Tina’s heart gave a joyous thump.

  Maggie spotted her and her face lit up, as bright as the sunshine. “Hi, Tina!” she shouted.

  Pigtails flying, she bolted toward the street. At Ryan’s warning, she stopped to wait for him. He took hold of her hand, but still she tugged him forward, a tiny powerhouse pulling the reluctant full-sized male in her wake.

  Tina set Sam’s present on the backseat. When she straightened up, Ryan was standing before her. It had been only four days, but she’d missed him. Oh, she had it bad.

  She tried to quiet her thudding heart with a deep breath. Friendly but distant, she reminded herself. “Hello, Ryan.”

  “Tina.”

  The pleasure shining in his eyes was at odds with the tense set of his jaw, and she knew he remembered the other night as vividly as she did.

  He glanced toward the house. “How’s G. G. today?”

  “Not so good.”

  “She looked like hell yesterday. When is that doctor’s appointment?”

  “I couldn’t get her in until the day after Thanksgiving.”

  “If I were you, I’d take her back to the clinic.”

  “Believe me, I’ve suggested that more than once. But you know how stubborn she is. She won’t go back.”

  Ryan made a sound of disapproval, and Tina glared at him. “I can’t exactly force her, can I? At least she’s following Dr. Dove’s advice and resting more. And she doesn’t have a fever. I check every night.”

  “Is G. G. gonna die?” Maggie asked. Her eyes were round and dismayed.

  “Of course not, sweetie. She’ll be fine.” Eventually. Tina forced a smile. She noted the gauzy ankle-length pink dress under Maggie’s parka and her pink patent leather shoes. “Don’t you look pretty.”

  The little girl perked up. “This is my princess dress, the one I got for Halloween. Only I changed my mind and didn’t wear it then, so Daddy said I could today. Watch me.” Maggie twirled around, the skirt billowing out. “Do I look like a princess, Tina?”

  “You certainly do. A beautiful one.”

  “Is that Sam’s birthday present?” Maggie said, eyeing the package in Tina’s car.

  Tina nodded. “I was just leaving for her party.”

  She’d thought about offering Maggie a ride, but hadn’t wanted to see Ryan. Then there was the other problem—Maggie was too attached. Well, so was Tina. And it was too late now. “Would you like a ride?”

  “Can I, Daddy?”

  Ryan shook his head. “I’m going out anyway, Sunshine, and I want to wish Sam happy birthday. I’ll drive you.”

  “Then Tina can come with us, right?”

  And make things even more awkward? She shook her head. “That’s very sweet of you, but I don’t think—”

  “No sense both of us using up gas,” he said, looking trapped. “You may as well ride with us.”

  Maggie jumped up and down. With no way out, Tina retrieved Sam’s gift. Friendly but distant, she silently repeated, and they crossed the street to Ryan’s car.

  “OH, I LOVE birthday parties,” Maggie sang from the backseat, making up the tune and the words as Ryan turned onto Treeline Road.

  From time to time she kicked the back of the driver’s seat, unable to contain her enthusiasm. Birthday parties always put her in high spirits, and Ryan was glad she’d spend the afternoon with her friends instead of worrying about him. Add Tina beside him in the passenger seat, and his daughter was riding high.

  How the hell was he going to patch up her heart after Tina left? he wondered for the millionth time. Tina seemed worried about that, too—at least he figured that was the reason she was subdued. That and concern for G. G.

  “Aren’t you excited, Tina?” Maggie asked.

  Tina glanced over her shoulder and smiled. “I certainly am.”

  Then she returned her gaze to whatever was out her window—the nearly bare trees, blue skies and houses. Leaving Ryan with a great view of her slender neck.

  She must’ve felt his gaze, for she glanced over at him, blushed and looked away. But not before he noted the warmth in her eyes.

  Desire rolled through Ryan. He was sick to death of wanting her, but his body didn’t care. Mouth tight, he shifted in his seat.

  Fog clouded the front window, and he turned on the defroster and focused on driving. Yet all the while he was keenly aware of the subtle coconut scent that came from her hair.

  “Eggwhite says she’s sorry she ran away the other night,” Maggie said.

  “I know she must be.” Tina twisted around to talk with Maggie.

  She’d slipped off one shoe. Why that turned him on was anybody’s guess. And sitting beside her was agony.

  “We’re here.” He signaled and turned. Seconds later, he rolled up the driveway and braked to a stop behind two other cars.

  Giggling and bouncing, Maggie unfastened her seat belt. She grabbed Sam’s gift, which she’d wrapped all by herself. Despite the heavy use of tape, wrinkled corners and lopsided bow, she seemed proud of what she’d done. That was all that mattered.

  Ryan popped the trunk so that Tina could get her gift, then slid out his side and opened the back door. Maggie hopped out, and Ryan bent down to give her pigtails a playful tug. “Have fun, Sunshine. I’ll be back to get you later.”

  “I thought you were coming inside to wish Sam happy birthday.”

  Tina stood behind his daughter, her eyebrows arched slightly.

  Right now, he wanted only to put some distance between himself and Tina. “I’ll do that when I pick you up, all right?”

  Maggie nodded. She gave his cheek a hasty peck, then pulled away. “’Bye, Daddy.”

  With eyes that glowed, she grabbed Tina’s hand.

  His daughter was crazy about Tina. That scared Ryan witless, and kept him from wondering whether he, too, might be falling for her.

  TINA HADN’T BEEN to a family birthday party in years, n
ot since moving away from the island. Now, sharing the afternoon festivities with Kate, Jack, their kids, parents, other relatives and friends, she was glad G. G. had pushed her to attend.

  Standing in Kate’s bright, modern kitchen, taking ice cream from the freezer while Kate stuck candles in the cake and her mom carried plates and utensils into the dining room, listening to the sounds of people laughing and chatting at the table, Tina shook her head. “This is some cool party. Now I know what I’ve been missing all these years.”

  “I’m so glad you made it.” Kate smiled warmly. “Now that you know what it’s like, maybe you’ll find a way to come back for the next one.”

  “That would be nice.” Tina made a silent pact with herself to do just that. “It’s been great, visiting with Jack and the kids, and your parents. And Paul.” Kate’s older brother. “His wife seems wonderful, and their kids are so cute.”

  She envied the love that flowed openly among the family members. Maybe someday…“You’re so lucky,” she said.

  “I know.” Kate let out a happy sigh and lit the candles. “Come on, let’s bring out the cake and ice cream.”

  After everyone enjoyed dessert, they gathered in the family room, where Sam tore open her gifts, crowing over every one. She loved the change purse Maggie had given her, and clipped it to the sash around her waist. As she peeled paper from the Nerf tetherball set, she squealed—something all the little girls seemed good at.

  “Thank you, Tina!” She blew kisses Tina’s way.

  Pleased, Tina grinned. “You’re very welcome.”

  Once the gifts had all been opened, the games began. A treasure hunt kicked off the fun, followed by pin the ponytail on the girl. Then they lined up for a chance to break open the pink pony piñata that hung from the ceiling of the back porch. Inside the piñata were toys and candy, and all the children were eager to break it open.

  Tina helped, blindfolding and gently spinning the children one by one before they lurched forward, waving a plastic baseball bat in the air and hoping to connect with the piñata. Each got three tries. Though highly stimulated, they were remarkably patient while they waited their turns. Maggie was so excited, she danced her way forward.

  Tina fitted the blindfold around her eyes. “Can you see anything, Maggie?”

  She shook her head. “Spin me, Tina.”

  Tina turned her around several times, then released her. “Go get ’em, kiddo.”

  On the first two tries she missed, but on the third the bat connected with the piñata. A loud crack filled the room, and the kids went wild, jumping up and down and shouting.

  “You did it, Maggie!” Tina pulled off the blindfold. “Hooray!”

  The beaming child threw her arms around Tina. “I love you, Tina.”

  Hearing it for the second time felt as good—and as heart-wrenching—as before. Tina held her tight. “I love you, too.” For Maggie’s sake and her own, she added, “It’ll be sad when I leave next Sunday, won’t it?”

  Maggie nodded solemnly and Tina squeezed her shoulder.

  Though she never could be more than a friend to the girl, she couldn’t help pretending, just for the rest of the party, that Maggie was hers and that she, Maggie and Ryan were a family. A far-fetched fantasy, but as long as no one but she knew, where was the harm?

  By the time Ryan walked into the house to pick them up and wish Sam a happy birthday, Tina felt hollow inside. She managed to laugh and act as if she were having a terrific time, but the truth was, she’d never felt so lonely.

  She understood, then, that her dream of Ryan and Maggie as her ready-made family wasn’t harmless, at all. She had the empty heart to prove it.

  Chapter Nine

  As Tina tucked G. G. in Monday night, she frowned at the new lines etched into the woman’s colorless face. “Maybe we should call off our Thanksgiving dinner this year.”

  “And let those lovely people down? Nonsense. Besides, it’s not for another three days. By then, I’ll be fine.”

  Tina had her doubts. “You need rest,” she said. “They’ll understand if we cancel.”

  They being Jefferson Jeffries, Ryan and Maggie. The rest of the neighbors celebrated the holiday with their own relatives.

  “Tina Morrell, you know perfectly well that I always host Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner.” G. G.’ s lips compressed into a stubborn line. “I’m not about to let this stupid hip get in my way. Besides, you’re doing all the work. My only job will be to make out the grocery list. The stuffing, pie making and everything else is up to you.”

  Which was a lot of work. “All right.” Tina sighed. “But I don’t know if the meal will turn out as well as yours always does.”

  “Of course it will. All the recipes are in the box I keep with the cookbooks.”

  Suddenly, Tina’s cell phone rang.

  “Is it Mr. Sperling?” G. G. asked, looking hopeful.

  “I doubt it.” For G. G.’ s sake, Tina made sure she looked cheerful and sounded upbeat. “He wouldn’t call this late in the day,” she said, fairly certain he wouldn’t call at all. The offices were closed now, and she assumed she and everyone else would find out who’d been named creative director next Monday.

  She slid her phone from her sweater pocket and looked at the LED. “It’s Kate. Hey, you,” she said in greeting.

  “Hi, Tina. I need a favor.” Kate’s voice was so weak and scratchy, Tina could barely understand her.

  “You sound awful. What happened to your voice?”

  “Laryngitis and a bad cold. I sure hope you and everyone else who came to the party stay well. Hold on a sec.” Though Kate covered the phone, Tina heard her hacking cough. “I’m back,” she croaked. “Listen, I’m supposed to help Sam’s class with a field trip tomorrow. Is there any chance you could go in my place?”

  “Me?”

  “It was Sam’s idea. She had such fun with you at her party. If you say yes, I’ll let Mrs. Jenkins know. All you have to do is show up in the classroom at nine forty-five and drive four of the kids in your car. You’ll be home by noon.”

  “Give me a minute to think.”

  “Okay. I’ll use the time to blow my nose.”

  Tina knew she could ask someone from the neighborhood to stay with G. G. She thought about Maggie, who was in Sam’s class. Spending a few hours on a field trip in her company appealed to Tina. Plus, she was tired of working every spare minute—especially now that she knew the promotion would go to someone else.

  “What’s wrong, dear?” G. G. asked.

  Tina placed her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone. “I’m listening to Kate sniffle and cough. She’s really sick. Would you mind if I helped her out in the morning and went with Sam’s class on a field trip? It’s only for a few hours, and I’m sure one of the neighbors will be happy to come over.”

  “Go right ahead.”

  “I’m back,” Kate rasped.

  “It’s okay with G. G., so yes, I’m happy to help out.” G. G. gave a feeble smile, and Tina returned it. “It’ll be fun.”

  “Find out more about the field trip,” G. G. said.

  “Just where are we going?”

  “Well, um, Halo Island Bank.”

  “The bank?” G. G.’ s eyes glinted. “You’ll get to see Ryan at work.”

  Tina scoffed. “Oh, that’ll be fun.”

  Yet her spirits lifted with anticipation. Not a good thing. She thought about backing out, but she’d already agreed to go.

  Besides, with twenty kindergartners to watch over, she’d be way too busy to moon over Ryan.

  SITTING AT HIS DESK, Ryan scrubbed his hands over his face. Of all the days for a kindergarten field trip. Today marked the end of the first week of the bank’s promotion, and though he was pleased with the efforts of his staff, the numbers weren’t as good as Bernard Beale, chairman of the Island Banking Corporation, wanted. Without so much as a nod to everyone’s hard work, Beale had sent out a belittling company-wide e-mail, threatening pay cuts and possible
dismissals for those he described as “employees who didn’t carry their weight.”

  Ryan was outraged, and if the kindergartners weren’t due any minute, he would have phoned Beale with a few nasty comments of his own. After the kids left, he’d contact Beale and let him know just how far off the mark he was. Not that that’d change anything. His staff knew it, too, and they all were demoralized. Man, did he hate his job today.

  But now was no time for a bad mood. In a few minutes his daughter and her class would troop through the door, and his first priority was to make their field trip fun. Danielle had the day off. Ryan headed for Serena’s teller window and gestured Jason over. Both employees looked glum.

  “I know this morning started badly, but Maggie’s class will be here soon,” Ryan said. “Let’s give them a fun experience.”

  “This place, fun?” Serena’s lip curled. “Ha!”

  “It’s not the kids’ fault that Corporate treats us like crap,” Jason said. “I guess we can try.”

  “I’d appreciate that.” Ryan scrutinized the lollipop bowl, which was half-empty. He wanted each of the kids to leave with one. “Do you need to run to the store and pick up more lollipops?”

  Serena shook her head. “I’ve got plenty more back here. I’ll fill the bowl.” She did, shaking her head. “With all those kindergartners, it’s going to be noisy and crazy in here.”

  This morning Ryan wanted that. A bank full of energetic kids might lighten the gloomy atmosphere. He shared his ideas for showing the kids around, with Serena and Jason each taking half of the group to the vault and behind the teller windows. Ryan would show them his office and explain a few basics about bank accounts.

  At ten-fifteen they marched in, twenty kids, Mrs. Jenkins and several parents Ryan recognized. Maggie was one of the first through the door, flanked by Sam and Gina, her two best friends.

  When she spotted Ryan, she shrieked. “Daddy!” She flew at him for a quick hug. “Look who came with us—Tina!”

  She was right behind his daughter, and the last person Ryan had expected to see. He didn’t like the sudden lift of his spirits or the extra warmth he felt in his chest. Yet, despite the curious stares of Jason, Danielle and the rest of the adults in the lobby, he couldn’t tear his gaze from her or stop himself from moving closer.