All I Want For Christmas

by Ann Roth

HOURS AFTER leaving. G. G.’ s, sitting in his own kitchen, Ryan nursed a beer and thought about the day. The Thanksgiving dinner that he’d looked forward to hadn’t turned out at all the way he’d expected. Damn, but he wished things were different. For starters, he wished that Maggie understood why Tina was leaving. Because no matter what she’d said before, she didn’t get it at all. In her five-year-old mind Tina was leaving the island—and her—because somehow she’d done something to drive her away. Which was ridiculous. At his wit’s end, Ryan had tried to explain that she had nothing to do with Tina’s leaving. He did it several times in different ways, but still his daughter was inconsolable.

  He swore in desperation. And decided that first thing in the morning he’d call Dr. Dove and ask for the name of a competent family therapist. Tonight, feeling helpless and scared for Maggie, he’d read her two funny stories and had stayed in her room longer than usual, until she finally drifted off.

  No doubt to suffer through a night of bad dreams. Ryan raked his hands through his hair. Again he’d failed to protect his child. For that, he figured he’d have a few nightmares of his own.

  And he’d miss Tina, too. He laughed out loud, a harsh sound that caused him to wince, and tried to ignore the empty feeling in his chest.

  How had she gotten under his skin so quickly? Ryan couldn’t explain it, but he knew she had, and he’d pay for that. Big-time.

  The ringing phone broke through his thoughts. Frowning, he pushed himself to his feet, moved to the counter and eyed his caller ID. Georgia Garwood.

  Since it was after eleven, Ryan figured it was Tina. She’d never called before, and wouldn’t unless something was wrong. He snatched the phone from its cradle. “Tina. What’s happened to G. G.?”

  “You saw her this afternoon. The pain is even worse now. Excruciating. She has a fever, too.” She paused, and he pictured her chewing her lower lip. “Something’s very wrong.”

  Ryan hid his alarm. “Did you call Dr. Dove?”

  “Yes, and we’re supposed to meet him at the clinic right away. But I can’t get G. G. out of bed, and once I do, I don’t know how I’ll get her into the car. I could call for an ambulance, but—”

  “Forget the ambulance.” Ryan headed for the coat closet to grab his jacket. “Give me five minutes to get Norma over here to stay with Maggie, and I’ll be there.”

  Chapter Eleven

  At eleven forty-five Thanksgiving night, the waiting room of the Halo Island Clinic was silent and empty. Sharing the beige vinyl sofa with Ryan wasn’t necessary. Or wise. But when he’d sat down close beside Tina, his shoulder, arm and thigh warm and solid against hers, she hadn’t objected. She welcomed his wordless empathy and support. At the moment she didn’t much care that she shouldn’t be with him. She needed him close by, and that was all that mattered. That and G. G. Tina prayed she would be all right.

  As the second hand on the wall clock silently ticked off the minutes, she clasped her hands together tightly in her lap.

  “Sitting here, not knowing anything is killing me. I wish to goodness G. G. had let me stay in the examining room with her.”

  “She’s always struck me as an independent spirit,” Ryan said.

  “I know, but this could be life-threatening. If anything happens to her…” The thought was too horrible to bear, and though the room was warm, Tina shivered.

  Ryan settled his arm around her shoulders and drew her closer—a great comfort.

  “She’ll be okay, Tina. I know it.”

  “I hope you’re right.” Hardly aware of her actions, Tina nestled against his side, resting her head on his shoulder. “I just wish I’d forced her into the clinic yesterday or even this morning.”

  “You tried, remember? Stubborn woman refused to go. Dr. Dove said to bring her in if she had a fever. That’s exactly what you did.”

  “I know, but still…I should’ve realized how sick she was. You pointed that out, but I didn’t listen.” Instead, she’d been so wrapped up in herself, thinking about her work and about how sad she’d feel to leave Ryan and Maggie, that she’d all but ignored G. G. Filled with remorse, she buried her face in her hands. “I feel so guilty.”

  “Hey.” Ryan tipped up her chin. His eyes beamed warmth into her. “Like you told me the other night, don’t be so hard on yourself. She’s in good hands now. Dr. Dove will take care of her.”

  With all her heart, Tina hoped he was right.

  They sat without speaking further for what seemed forever, Tina absorbing Ryan’s strength.

  When Dr. Dove finally emerged from the examining room, she ducked out from under Ryan’s arm. Not before the doctor’s gray eyebrows raised a fraction, though. So he’d noticed her and Ryan, all warm and cozy. She hoped he wouldn’t mention this to his wife, who, though a kind and thoughtful woman, was more than likely to spread the word.

  Tina stood up and hurried forward. “How is she?” She didn’t see G. G. “Where is she?”

  “She’s resting on the examining table.”

  Why had he left her there? Tina started toward the inner room, but Dr. Dove touched her arm, stopping her. “She’s comfortable enough for now, and we need to talk.”

  Heart pounding with fear, Tina nodded.

  Suddenly, Ryan was at her side. “Please go ahead,” he said.

  The doctor’s shrewd gaze flitted from him to Tina. “It’s okay if Ryan hears this,” she assured him.

  Dr. Dove stroked the bald spot on top of his head and nodded. “She has a staph infection, probably from the surgery.”

  “Dear God.” Beyond caring what Dr. Dove thought, Tina reached for Ryan’s hand. His fingers curled around hers.

  “We caught it in time. It’s serious, but at the moment, it’s not life-threatening.”

  “At the moment?” she asked, numb with terror.

  “She should be fine.”

  Tina clung to the certainty in Dr. Dove’s voice. “Thank goodness,” she whispered, sinking against Ryan in relief. Seconds later, confused, she frowned. “But it’s been weeks since the operation. I don’t understand why she’d get an infection now.”

  “It’s rare, but there have been cases where an infection sets in years after surgery. Now, I’ve consulted Dr. Lomax, the doctor in Anacortes who was supposed to see her tomorrow. We’re in agreement that Georgia should start on antibiotics immediately. I’ve given her a shot, but she needs professional care. We want her to check into the hospital in Anacortes tonight.”

  “Tonight?” Tina massaged the place between her eyebrows, where a headache had bloomed. “But it’s Thanksgiving, and the ferries don’t run this late. How am I supposed to get her there?”

  “The medical boat is standing by, and an ambulance is on the way to take her to the dock.”

  This was good news. “All right. I’m going with her.”

  “I already notified the medical staff that you would,” Dr. Dove said.

  Flashing lights outside the window alerted them that the ambulance had arrived. The paramedics strode in with a stretcher, and for a while the clinic bustled with activity.

  While two muscular men brought G. G. out on the stretcher and consulted with Dr. Dove, Tina turned to Ryan. “Thank you so much, Ryan. I don’t know how I’d have made it tonight without you.”

  “I’m not leaving now,” he said. “I’ll drive down to the dock and meet you there.”

  He’d already gone beyond what a good neighbor would do. He was as special as G. G. had said and more, and Tina was closer than ever to falling in love with him. She shook her head. “You should get home to Maggie.”

  “She’s asleep. If she wakes up, Norma will explain.” Ryan shrugged and looked at her.

  “What about work? Don’t you have to go in tomorrow?”

  “I’ll let Jason know I’ll be in late.”

  Tina could think of no other reasons for him to stay on the island. Besides, she wanted him to come with her.

  The paramedics were ready to leave, and G. G. beckoned her
over. “I feel so silly about this,” she said, looking sheepish. “Don’t you dare let this stop you from going home Sunday.”

  That G. G. was thinking about her career at a time like this…Well, it only reinforced how important Tina’s success was to her. Tina sensed that Ryan was watching and listening. She glanced at him. His concerned expression had faded, and his face was now carefully blank.

  Her eyes filled up. Not wanting. G. G. to know how anxious and upset she was, she hastily blinked away the tears and forced a smile. “Don’t you worry about anything but getting well,” she said, brushing stray strands of hair from the older woman’s forehead.

  “Of course I’m worried. I don’t want anything to get in the way of your new job.”

  “Ready to go?”

  Tina followed the paramedics to the waiting ambulance.

  WEARY CLEAR to his bones, Ryan followed the ambulance to the dock. Tina had all but told him to go home. He could make a U-turn and head for Huckleberry Hill Road without a shred of guilt. Instead, he continued toward the water.

  Thing was, Tina needed him. He admired her tough don’t-worry-about-me-I’m-fine act with G. G., but he knew she was close to falling apart. The way she’d sunk against his side on the couch. Reaching for his hand and holding tight when Dr. Dove delivered his news—she needed a shoulder to lean on. His.

  Ryan liked that way more than he should, and was glad she’d called him tonight. He didn’t stop to wonder why that made him feel so good; he knew only that he wasn’t going to leave her now.

  He detested hospitals and hadn’t been in one since Heidi’s death three and a half years earlier. But he figured Tina would appreciate his company tonight. He would go to Anacortes with her and G. G., provided Norma agreed to stay the night. She’d be well paid for this, and Ryan would thank her husband, Harry. Maybe he’d treat the man to a game of golf in the spring. Hadn’t Tina suggested he make some friends?

  Slipping his cell phone from his jacket pocket, he phoned Norma. “G. G.’ s going to the hospital in Anacortes tonight,” he said. “On the medical boat.”

  “Then it’s serious.” She sounded worried.

  “Maybe, or maybe not.”

  Ryan explained everything while keeping an eye on the road. “Can you stay tonight? You’re welcome to use my bed.”

  “I’ll sleep on the couch,” she said.

  “Listen, Maggie will probably have nightmares.”

  He told Norma what to do—give her a glass of water, a sympathetic ear and plenty of reassurance.

  “No problem,” Norma said. “I’ll consider it training for my future child’s bad dreams.”

  Ryan hoped to hell that her kid grew up feeling safe and loved and escaped such miserable stuff.

  “Please send G. G. my love and wishes for a speedy recovery,” Norma said.

  “Will do.”

  He was almost at the dock now. His thoughts returned to Tina. He’d offer whatever she needed to make it through the night. Anything she wanted from him, he’d give. Anything.

  Possibilities filled his head, all of them hot and sexual. Damned if his body didn’t stir to life. Ryan muttered and gripped the steering wheel tighter. G. G. was headed for the hospital, and Tina was worried sick. What kind of self-absorbed man was he, thinking about sex right now?

  What Tina needed was a friend. He could be that. Even Maggie understood about friends. The thought eased his mind, and he began to relax.

  A SOFT HAND shook Ryan awake. He opened his eyes to find Tina standing in front of him. He’d been dozing in a waiting room chair while the nurses attended to G. G. Thanks to Tina, she had a private room.

  “How’s she doing?” he asked.

  “Not great.” Weariness blunted Tina’s features and showed in her voice. “She wants to talk to you.”

  “Me?” He sat up and rubbed a hand over his face, absently noting that he needed a shave. “What does she want?”

  “Heck if I know, but she’s exhausted and so am I, and the nurses want us gone, so make it quick. She’s in the last room on the right.”

  Leaving Tina glassy-eyed in the deserted waiting room, Ryan strode down the tiled hallway. Most of the rooms were dark, but in some of them machines beeped and flashed. Antiseptic smells assaulted him, reminding him of that time with Heidi, and he flinched.

  Wearing a hospital gown, G. G. lay covered to her armpits with white blankets. In the harsh fluorescent lights, she looked ashen and exhausted. The bed was propped up at a twenty-degree angle, and an IV was attached to the back of one hand. Nearby, a monitor displayed numbers that Ryan couldn’t decipher.

  She didn’t look as if she wanted company, and Ryan hesitated in the doorway. “You asked to see me?”

  “Hello, Ryan.” With a weak wave of her free hand she gestured him forward.

  He pulled over an orange chair and sat down beside her, close to her head. “How you doing, G. G.?”

  “I think I’ll live.”

  “You’re too feisty not to.” The alternative was too painful to contemplate.

  As sick as she was, she managed a smile. “I’m not letting those hospital people keep me here long.”

  “That’s what I like to hear.”

  She clasped his hand in a surprisingly firm grip, and he bent toward her. “Though I’ve only known you and Maggie a few months, you’ve become as dear to me as my own flesh and blood. I don’t know what Tina and I would’ve done tonight without you. Thank you.”

  The heartfelt words touched him. His vision blurred and he swallowed thickly. “I meant what I said at dinner this afternoon,” he returned, in a gruff voice. “You’ve been so kind to Maggie and me. This is the least I can do.”

  She tugged him closer and lowered her voice to a whisper. “Tina acts like she’s strong and tough, but I know her. I’m all she has, and she’s scared. Promise me you’ll keep an eye on her tonight.”

  As one who understood only too well the fear of loss, Ryan was happy to do this. “You have my word.”

  A nurse bustled in, a stern look on her face. “Miss Garwood needs her rest. Visiting hours start at nine in the morning.”

  He let go of G. G.’ s hand, slid back the chair and stood. “Should I send Tina back in?”

  “No,” G. G. said. “I’m tired, and we’ve said our good-nights. Don’t forget your promise, Ryan.”

  He nodded. “Try to get some rest.”

  Tina hadn’t moved since he’d left her. She was still in the chair he’d vacated, eyes closed and head against the wall. Ryan hated to wake her, but if he didn’t her neck was sure to hurt. She needed a bed.

  He hunkered down beside her and touched her arm. Her eyes flickered open, instantly focused. “Did you see G. G.?”

  “Yeah, but she and the nurses ordered me out. Why don’t we find a motel around here and get some rest.”

  “I can’t leave. What if something goes wrong?”

  “G. G.’ s in good hands here. She needs you strong and rested. The hospital has your cell number. If anyone needs to reach you, they’ll call.” He stood, then offered her a hand up.

  “All right.” With a weary sigh she let him pull her to her feet.

  Grasping her arm, Ryan headed for the nurse’s station, where two nurses kept a watchful eye on things.

  “Is there a motel around here?” he asked.

  “Closest one is a block away,” the younger nurse replied. She gave directions, and Ryan and Tina headed for the elevators.

  In weary silence they left the hospital and headed out through fog and bone-chilling dampness.

  The motel, which was part of a chain, looked like any other motel, with gray and mauve furniture, a large bouquet of fake flowers on a low table and an eating area off to one side.

  The heavyset middle-aged male clerk’s badge identified him as Fred. Squinting, he checked the computer screen, his shirt stretched tight over his belly. “We don’t have any rooms with king-size beds available. You folks mind a queen-size?”

  He
thought Ryan and Tina were together.

  Tina flushed. “Um, we need separate rooms.”

  Fred’s gaping jaw and arched eyebrows were almost comical. “Oh. Sure. Connecting all right? For your protection,” he winked, “both doors have inside locks.”

  “Thanks.” Ryan ignored the sly wink. Let the man think what he wanted, but both doors would stay locked. He thought about his promise to G. G., certain she hadn’t meant for him to spend the night with Tina. This way he’d be close by, available should she need him.

  “We had a medical emergency and didn’t have time to pack. Do you have travel kits?” he asked.

  Reaching under the counter, Fred pulled out two plastic packets containing toothpaste, toothbrush, comb and plastic razor. “I hope the person will be okay.”

  Tina closed her eyes a moment, then opened them. “Thank you.”

  They scheduled wake-up calls for eight-thirty, then silently rode the elevator to the third floor, Tina swallowing rapidly as if working to hold back her emotions. Ryan guessed that she was trying not to cry in front of him. At the moment, giving her the privacy she clearly needed was impossible, so he shoved the packet and his hands in his jeans’ pocket and stared at the carpet.

  Their rooms were several yards from the elevator. As they stopped before Tina’s door, her lower lip trembled. “Thank you again, Ryan.” Her eyes flooded. “For being here. You’ve been wonderful.”

  God help him, the dam burst and she began to sob. He opened his arms, and she fell into them.

  He’d never been any good with crying women, but he knew what worked with Maggie. He patted Tina’s back and murmured whatever came into his head. “It’s okay, Tina. G. G.’ s getting the best care possible. She’s a fighter, and she’ll be fine.”

  “I kn-know, but I’m scared anyway,” she said, her words muffled by his shirt.

  After a while she pulled away, sniffled and found a packet of tissues in her purse. “I don’t know why I’m crying. And on your only shirt.” Using a clean tissue she swiped at his wet shirtfront. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” He put his arm around her waist. “You’re exhausted. Give me your key.”