Time Between

by Chris Hillman

  Another dear friend, Joe Lala—my bandmate in Manassas and the best man at my wedding—died in March of 2014. He was living in Florida, where he had been battling stage four lung cancer. I was on tour with Herb and John Jorgenson at the time, and we were booked to play a show in Tampa. I had asked Joe to come play with us, but he said he wasn’t feeling well enough to leave his house. As it turned out, the show was canceled. I called Joe and asked if I could visit him. John drove me over and dropped me off. I sent Joe’s caregiver home so I could spend some time alone with him. We talked for hours, and I could see how terribly uncomfortable he was. I was watching Joe slip away right before my eyes.

  Out of nowhere, I suddenly asked Joe if he had ever been baptized. He said he wasn’t sure, but said he might have been during his brief time in the Catholic Church growing up. We talked about death, and I tried to explain that true life begins as we pass from our old life to the heavenly realm, where we’ll see all our loved ones who have already crossed over. I felt such a strong calling from the Lord that night to reach out to Joe and draw him closer to God. “I don’t want to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable in any way,” I told Joe, “but how would you feel if I baptized you tonight?” After thirty minutes had gone by, he looked at me and said, “Would you baptize me?” I took a pitcher from his shelf, filled it with warm water, and stood over him. “You know I’m just a convert to the Orthodox Faith,” I told him candidly, “but I think I can remember enough of the sacrament to recite the baptismal prayer.” I gently poured water over Joe’s head and recited the prayer: “Do you renounce Satan and all his works?” Joe answered “yes” as I continued to ask him two more times, just as the priests do. “Do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?” He enthusiastically replied, “Yes.”

  When our time together drew to a close that night and John returned to pick me up, I looked at Joe before walking out the door and told him I’d see him again. I knew it wouldn’t be in this realm, but I knew we would be reunited. The next morning, Joe’s stepbrother called me. Right after I’d left, Joe was rushed to the hospital. That’s where he quietly passed away in the early morning hours. I’ve asked many priests about my reciting the baptismal prayers to my friend, and all have told me that, while a more formal baptism would usually be required, given the circumstances, it was the right thing to do. I believe the cancellation of my show that night was meant to be, and that it was God’s will for me and Joe to be together.

  The most difficult loss for me in recent years, however, came with the passing of my sister Susan. She was already battling health issues at the time she lost her son Hillman Curtis to cancer. She never quite recovered, becoming a bit of a recluse in the retirement community where she lived in Grass Valley, California. Not long before she died, Connie and I had a strong feeling that we needed to fly up to visit her. On our drive from the Sacramento airport up to Grass Valley, Susan’s daughter Rebecca called to let me know Susan had suffered a stroke that morning. We continued on our way, hoping for the best. When we finally arrived, my sister was in bed, unable to speak and in great discomfort. We spent a few hours with her, Rebecca, and Susan’s other daughter Madeline. As I spoke and sang to Susan, I knew she could hear me through her pain and confusion. I was praying she would survive, but I knew in my heart it was not meant to be. After landing back at the airport in Burbank, I got a call from Rebecca that my beautiful sister had gone to be with God. I had held up pretty well until that moment, but after I heard my niece’s words, I hung up the phone and the tears began to fall. I loved Susan so much, and we were very close. She was the one person in our family who inspired me to follow my dreams of exploring music, literature, art, and all good things in this world. I miss her terribly, but I’m grateful for the ways she shaped me. I feel blessed to have gotten to spend what time we had together.

  As 2018 dawned, I’d lost my sister, I’d lost Tom, and I’d nearly lost my house in the Thomas Fire that ravaged Ventura and Santa Barbara Counties in December of 2017. Connie and I were displaced, still living in a hotel. I’d released what I figured was my last album and, though I had a couple of shows booked nearby, it was difficult to wrap my head around performing in the immediate aftermath of a fire that upended everyone’s life. The first show was in January at the Scherr Theater in Thousand Oaks. I was struggling before the performance, but our priest, Father Gary Kyriacou, came down to the theater and prayed with me before the show. As we huddled together, I remembered Roger’s words the day Tom died. I shouldn’t cancel. I should make music in tribute to those who are lost or suffering. Music can be a healing force in a broken world. Thanks to Roger’s wisdom and Father Gary’s prayers, we had a great show. It was followed in February by a performance at the Lobero Theater in Santa Barbara that became a benefit to help so many who had lost everything they owned in the Thomas Fire.

  Just before the show at the Lobero, I was getting settled into the rented house that Connie and I would call home for many months while our own place was being restored in the aftermath of the fire. My phone rang. It was Roger calling from South America. “Chris,” he said, “this August marks fifty years since the release of Sweetheart of the Rodeo. I’ve been talking with Marty Stuart about the three of us, along with Marty’s band The Fabulous Superlatives, playing some concerts to celebrate the anniversary.” What a fantastic idea! I was totally on board before Roger had even finished talking. With all that had happened in recent months, I was not feeling particularly motivated to play music and really had no desire to accept any more offers of live shows. But the thought of a tour with Roger and Marty was just what I needed to move beyond my apathy. Roger was always a consummate professional and a pleasure to work with since the early days of The Byrds, and I greatly admired Marty Stuart as a musician, singer, and songwriter. I knew what they were proposing would be the antidote to the preceding months of chaos and confusion.

  Many phone calls, emails, and text messages followed as Roger and I laid out our plans for the tour. We both agreed that it should be a scripted show—like a Broadway presentation—with thoroughly rehearsed dialogue interwoven between the performances. Marty had a busy touring schedule booked for the summer and fall, so Roger’s agent, Andria Sabata, took over booking the Sweetheart tour around Marty’s commitments. The first show was set for the Theatre at Ace Hotel in downtown Los Angeles on July 24, 2018. It sold out on the first day after it was announced, so Andria added a second show. That one sold out too. David Crosby caught wind of the tour early on and thought we were doing a Byrds reunion without him. He wasn’t happy. Roger and I reminded David that The Byrds were already in his rearview mirror before the Sweetheart of the Rodeo recording sessions even began, and we assured him that we would never entertain the thought of a Byrds reunion without all the surviving original members.

  Prior to our first full band rehearsal with Marty and The Fabulous Superlatives, Roger and I got together at our friend Randall Wixen’s house in Calabasas, California. Randall administered both our song publishing catalogs, as well as those of many other great writers. We carefully worked out our stories about the songs and the making of the album. We decided to add all the country songs we had recorded on earlier Byrds albums to the give the audience some insight into where we were headed as early as our second album when we recorded “Satisfied Mind.” By the time we got together with the band, we were ready. And so were they! The Superlatives were all huge Byrds fans, and they’d already mastered the songs before we rehearsed with them. We couldn’t have possibly found a better group of musicians to work with for this special tour: Kenny Vaughn, fantastic guitar player, fantastic singer; Harry Stinson on drums and vocals, one of the most sought-after background singers in country music; and Chris Scruggs on vocals, upright and electric bass, steel guitar, and just about anything with strings. And, of course, Marty, the brilliant bandleader who put together the perfect group of singers and players to make up the Fabulous Superlatives. Marty’s approach to music is so pure and honest, and h
e is my favorite mandolin player—plus an amazing guitar player on both acoustic and electric. Some years back, Marty bought my old friend Clarence White’s custom-built pull-string B-bender Telecaster from Clarence’s widow Suzy. The things Marty can do with that guitar are simply brilliant, and it was great to have a piece of Clarence’s legacy as part of our shows.

  The opening night at the Ace was an emotional one for me. We could really feel the love from the audience, and Mike Campbell from the Heartbreakers joined us onstage to play “American Girl” in tribute to Tom. After those first two nights, we played a show in Saratoga, California, before picking the tour up again in Kansas City and working on and off through the fall until wrapping up in December in Fort Lauderdale. There was a very dramatic opening to the show, as Roger would walk on stage playing “My Back Pages” on his Rickenbacker twelve-string, while I came in from the other side, playing bass, as the band joined us on the downbeat of the first verse. We then proceeded to tell the story of The Byrds’ early explorations in country music, from way back in 1965, and then how it developed into the Sweetheart of the Rodeo project in 1968. Roger and I scripted the story. We remembered every little nuance and anecdote in the making of the album. It was so much fun revisiting the music and having a conversation with each other on stage, as if we were guests in someone’s living room, relaying this fantastic story of making a record in Nashville. It was one of, if not the best tour I had ever been a part of in my almost six decades playing music. Not only were The Fabulous Superlatives one of the best bands I had ever played with, but they were all wonderful people. The bond of faith ran strong through all of us and created such a loving and respectful atmosphere—something I rarely experienced in many of my past endeavors.

  Perhaps the highlight of the Sweetheart tour was the many wonderful hours Connie and I shared with Roger and Camilla. We traveled in a caravan, with the McGuinns as the lead vehicle, and used Roger’s walkie talkies to begin each new day with a rousing chorus of the Rawhide TV theme: “Rollin,’ rollin,’ rollin’….” When the show was over each night the four of us would gather around a pitcher of martinis in the hotel bar or up in the McGuinns’ room where Roger would unleash his impressive bartending skills. Roger McGuinn can whip up a mean martini! He and I would reminisce about The Byrds and the ensuing years. There’d been a lot of water under the bridge and a lot of highs and lows, but our conversations never turned negative. We found ourselves laughing at the many funny memories while our poor wives endured having to listen to the same stories over and over every night. Such a great time of friendship, fellowship, music, and memories with our wonderful roadies, Camilla and Connie, who took care of us both with such patience and love.

  It wasn’t until the second month of the tour that I found out what was really behind the concept to begin with. Early on, while he was still in South America, Roger called Marty. “We have to get Chris going again,” he said. “It’s been a hard year for him with Tom’s passing and then his house fire.” My good friends rescued me, and for that I will always hold them close to my heart. In the end, I think the fiftieth anniversary tour was the perfect medicine for all of us. It was the healing power of music once again.

  I had such a passion for the music when I was in my late teens; I lived it and breathed it twenty-four hours a day. I never thought about the money, the future, or chasing down stardom. It was always all about the music. I met and worked with some wonderful people over the years. Many have passed on, and many fell where I couldn’t pick them up, but I’ll always cherish the best and brightest memories of everyone I worked with. Perhaps if I’d not chosen a career in music, I never would have found the most important relationship—the one with Connie. When I look at her, our son Nicky and his wife Annie, my daughter Catherine and her husband Nick, and our beautiful grandchildren, I know I am a blessed man. I’m grateful for all those who have supported me over all these years, and I know what I was put on this earth to do. I will continue to use the gifts God has given me for as long as possible.

  EPILOGUE

  I don’t know what got into my head to start writing my story seven years ago. Looking back, it began to bother me that so many books had come out about The Byrds and The Flying Burrito Brothers that were filled with inaccuracies and mistruths. This needed to be addressed by someone who was an eyewitness to all that happened, someone who could retell the story honestly and succinctly. I was there, and I remember it all.

  It became almost cathartic as I got deeper in with the story—sometimes even opening up old doors I thought I had locked down decades ago. But it wasn’t just the music that propelled me on; it was the gradual growth from who I was to who I became—through heartache and triumph, things we all have to deal with in life. Now, at 76 years old, I have met so many interesting people through the years, and those who I’ve written about in this book have left a lasting impression on me.

  I’ve been happily married to Connie for over 40 years. To this day, I truly believe she was divinely brought into my life. She is my angel, my saving grace, and my true love. Our children, Nicky and Catherine, are firmly settled in their lives. My daughter and her husband Nick have two beautiful children, and my son Nicky and his wife Annie are on a true pathway of happiness in their marriage. This is my blessing.

  Life is truly grand, and I thank God for every waking moment.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  There are many people who contributed, in one way or another, to making this book a reality. Thank you to the staff at BMG, including Will Kennedy, David Hirshland, and Patrick Cleary for his vision to bring me into the BMG family.

  Many people assisted with the research, including John Delgatto, Matthew Fowler, Regina Jaskow, Adam Jones, Roger and Camilla McGuinn, Sarah McMullen, Ashley Moyer, Al Perkins, Ron Rainey, Andrea Sabata, Ron Stone, Willheim Van Wagen, and Randall and Sharon Wixen.

  Everyone who assisted with the photography went above and beyond. Thanks to Brenda Colladay at the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum; Gary Strobel at the Henry Diltz Studio; Judith and Jacob Jamison with the Estate of Barry Feinstein; Christopher Santacroce with the Hopper Art Trust; the Tom Petty Estate and family; Joel Peresman, Shelby Morrison, Greg Hall, Justin Seidler and Jennie Thomas at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame; Pace Romel, Diana LaPointe, and Paula Erikson at Sony Music; and Thomas Tierney and Toby Silver for their assistance with the Sony Music Archives.

  Thank you to Scott B. Bomar, my incredible editor and guide on this project. Having someone working with you who knows the music, and is also a musician himself, makes for a great team. I could not have done this without Scott’s insightful guidance and direction. A great literary editor is someone who can see where the author is going with the story and assemble the parts in a cohesive manner from an entirely objective viewpoint. It has been a huge blessing getting to know Scott and his talented wife Melanie.

  To Dwight Yoakam for his beautiful foreword to this book. Always honest and forthcoming, his words set the tone for my story. I love this guy, and hold him in a very special place, both as a friend and as a talented artist—on the screen and on the turntable. Thank you, Dwight, you are an amazing and eloquent man.

  To all my former musician friends and bandmates, thank you for your encouragement and for helping me remember all those great adventures. And thanks to all the interesting managers, road managers and other assorted characters whose paths I’ve crossed over the last sixty years. To Doug Johnson, thank you for all your wonderful designs and fabulous artwork, and for managing the “Bar None Bunkhouse” so well.

  To my very creative co-songwriters: Roger McGuinn, David Crosby, Gram Parsons, Stephen Stills, Rick Roberts, Peter Knobler, Michael Woody, Bill Wildes, Herb Pedersen, John Jorgenson, Catherine Hillman, Jack Tempchin, Connie Smith, and most importantly, my dear friend Steve Hill who has been writing with me for over thirty-five years. Together, we have had great success with The Desert Rose Band and all that followed.

  To my family and friends: Hillman, Pappas, Ho
ugh, Clark, Garver, Bouzeos, Brault, Pekras, McCormick, Thompson, Phillips, Bather, Darras, Farmakis, Barkoulies, McConnell, Colombus, Curtis, Edsall, Stathis-Langel, and Cassacia.

  To my beloved wife Connie, whose faith in me never wavered and who kept me focused and on track throughout this entire project. And to my wonderful, beautiful family who patiently helped me along. I love you all so much!

  SELECT DISCOGRAPHY

  THE SCOTTSVILLE SQUIRREL BARKERS

  Bluegrass Favorites

  Crown Records

  1962

  Ace/Big Beat

  2003

  THE HILLMEN (AKA THE GOLDEN STATE BOYS)

  The Hillmen

  Together Records

  1969

  Sugar Hill Records

  1981

  THE BYRDS

  Mr. Tambourine Man

  Columbia Records

  1965

  Turn! Turn! Turn!

  Columbia Records

  1965

  Fifth Dimension

  Columbia Records

  1966

  Younger Than Yesterday